Need advice on escalating to sex with a girl

no_condoments · 2018-12-13T03:46:13+00:00

She sucked you off. I'm a big fan of that, so I'd definitely vote to see her again. More importantly, as long as it's escalating every time (which it seems to be), then clearly it's heading in the right direction. Worst case, you spend a few more nights getting sucked off (oh, the horror).

failingtheturingtest · 2018-12-13T04:22:11+00:00

Get out of your head, because you're overthinking things.

A) If she has your dick in her mouth, you shouldn't be confused if she's into you.

B) stop waiting for "signals" to escalate. You escalate. That is your job.

C) don't talk about it! Don't ever negotiate. If you escalate and she doesn't want sex, that's fine. Sure, try to give her tingles to make her want sex, but don't discuss it. Desire isn't logical, can't be negotiated, and any attempt to do so just kills any tingles she might have for you.

You're now in her frame and need to pull your attention back a little.

[deleted] · 2018-12-13T08:56:32+00:00

FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY

Bing_Bang_Bam · 2018-12-13T05:06:35+00:00

If you tickle her butthole just right, she'll let you

ANGRY_ATHEIST · 2018-12-13T04:01:28+00:00

This is classic LMR.

There's plenty of theory out there in the TRP world, but I'll try to explain it in a tl,dr; manner.

The gist is that women want to have sex, but they don't want to be a slut about it. The only thing holding her back since she's already blown you is that she might be considered a slut if she goes through with it.

There may be others here with better advice, but mine would be to tell her that you feel a physical connection with her that is special. This feels great, we're having fun, why not go with it? Approaches to this will vary depending on the situation, but the general idea is to assure her that having sex with you does not mean she is a slut.

If you push the issue in the wrong way, not only could you make her feel like a slut (too early -- once the "seal" is "broken" this changes), but you could always face her regret which can turn into rape accusations. I once read advice here that recommended to ask, while escalating, "Do you want me to stop?". This turns the answer "no" into a "yes" -- and while in my experience this works very well, it doesn't help with the whole regret thing later.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2018-12-13T12:00:03+00:00

Yeah, sounds like she has some cognitive dissonance going on. She wants to fuck...but feels like it'll make her a slut, because you may dump her afterwards...but with how far it's gone, I wouldn't next...

Sounds like she needs to trust you a little more. You don't wanna come off as pushing it, though.

I'd pull attention back a little...then invite her over...escalate...and yeah, the 'if you want me to stop, just say' works.

Psychological_Radish · 2018-12-13T15:53:57+00:00

she wasn't giving me any signals for sex

Why are you waiting for signals? You're the leader, guy. Do you expect her to outright say "please fuck me?" I don't get it. Agreeing to come back to your place is itself a massive signal that she's ready to be intimate with you.

The next day, we talked about it.

WRONG! Now you're trying to negotiate desire through "open communication," which only compounded your initial failure to escalate. She thinks you're not man enough to take what you want, so now she doubts your masculine core. When she says she's not ready for sex, what she means is she's not ready for sex WITH YOU. When you act unsure of yourself, this is what you get.

I gave her the benefit of doubt

Famous last words

because she seemed shy

You think shy girls are special innocent creatures, how cute. If I was there I'd be smashing that poon from behind while she screams "give it to me Daddy!"

Or maybe I wasn't being aggressive enough?

You weren't being assertive enough. Assertive =/= aggressive. You want to fuck her, so make that desire known by escalating. But you didn't, because you're a pussy who's afraid that a girl that you "really like" will reject you.

Fuck that noise. If she rejects you, then she either wants to give you a token impression of not being a slut (and will fuck you eventually), or she isn't that into you, in which case she will never fuck you no matter what you do.

Do you guys have any advice for me on this?

Well at least she blew you. Somehow you managed that, despite all your fumbling. This may be salvagable. Read the sidebar, for Christ's sake. Too many fuckers here trying to cram the night before the final exam, which doesn't work.

Title	Need advice on escalating to sex with a girl
Author	atarian
Upvotes	12
Comments	11
Date	December 13, 2018 3:38 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a5ppwt/need_advice_on_escalating_to_sex_with_a_girl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/need-advice-on-escalating-to-sex-with-a-girl.70511 https://theredarchive.com/post/70511

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