A beginner here.. What is the FRAME you're talking about?

FlyingSexistPig · 2018-12-13T13:13:27+00:00

Why the fuck are you here? What makes you think you deserve to be here?

What was your first thought when reading that? Are you feeling like you have to justify yourself? Why? If you were going to try to formulate an answer to the first two questions, then you have fallen into my frame. You are doing what I want you to do, maybe in the hopes that it will lead to more useful information. You are giving me something before I have given you anything.

When a girl asks you stuff, or wants you to do stuff, ask yourself why she's doing that. Try not answering her questions, and instead asking questions of your own. When she asks you to do something, tell her to do something instead.

her: "Hey, buy me a drink from the bar"

you: "kiss me."

her: "What the fuck? You creep, I don't even know you!"

you: "After you kiss me, you'll know me better."

Do you see how this works? How is that interaction different from this one:

her: "Hey, buy me a drink from the bar"

you: "Uh, no, I don't know you" or

you: "Um, okay."

In the second interactions, regardless of whether you said yes or no, you still fell into her frame. You've made this image of yourself as someone who can be bossed around, told what to do. You are someone who will help her move into her new boyfriend's apartment, and then help her move into her next boyfriend's apartment next month when this one kicks her out.

AwesomeTheKid · 2018-12-13T09:25:42+00:00

Theres a more concise summary in the sidebar. Read it.

Because I'm not a dick, in short:

Frame is your worldview

A strong frame is when no one can change your world view

Things other people do won't affect how you enjoy or spend your time

icecruzader · 2018-12-13T11:45:56+00:00

Frame is your reactions, your world view and your emotional control. If you've read the power of now it's also how much you are in the present moment because elkhart tolle makes the distinction that if you are in the Now more than someone else they will be drawn into your now over theirs. It keeps you from making decisions that benefit others out of habit, which we are socialzied to do in a increasingly feminised society and keeps your goals and aspirations at the forefront of your mind so that your actions will reflect your best interests over the wims of others.

Kurush559 · 2018-12-13T09:41:13+00:00

Hey newbie, welcome

Frame is discussed lots of times on the sidebar so you can read about it there. I'm only commenting to let you know that u/Woujo wrote a detailed and magnificent longform treatise on Frame. You can find it online by searching 'woujo how to hold frame'

drakehfh · 2018-12-13T13:49:53+00:00

Look at YouTube channel "the power moves".

El_Serpiente_Roja · 2018-12-13T15:40:27+00:00

Mindset in a nutshell...obviously this can get complicated but thats basically it. Strong frame/mindset helps inform interactions. People are always either joining your mindset or you are joining theirs...so its best to be deliberate and put yourself in the best positio n.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2018-12-14T04:47:41+00:00

frame, to me....is how I frame MY reality. Ok...so there is objective reality...and my frame, is what I put around that reality...to interpret and play within it, to ensure my fun, survival, and ability to get shit done.

My frame...includes how choose to see how the world works. It's the belief system I have, and the rules I play by. My frame has to be gears towards my having fun, self fulfillment and defeating life's inevitable challenges.

I have to hold my frame, to survive. I can respect other people's, I don't have to force my frame on anyone...but I don't stop playing in mine.

For example...an utterly stunning woman, may have a frame she has put around reality, to help her survive. She may believe every man wants her, she is so gorgeous that men should pay for everything, work hard to impress her, and spend lots of money on her. She may also believe she is entitled to all of this.

MY frame...is that she is a human being. She has revealed nothing to me, to say she is entitled to shit. I know that underneath that pretty exterior, is human like everyone else...with weaknesses, assests. I don't owe her shit, just because she talks to me. She is far from higher value, or 'out of my league'. My frame is that I will qualify her. I will find out as much as i can, and show her she's not out of my league, by teasing her and making fun of her. I will also show her I am the authority of her world, by reflecting to her the sort of person i think she is.

I've brought her into my frame.

Moving forward, I will not spend lots of money, or put her on a pedestal. In my frame, I am the motherfuck'n man. Not arrogant...but been through enough and survived enough...to have confidence. In MY frame, it as honour for her to know me, and me to give her my time. She will not be allowed to endlessly shit test me, or make me jump through hoops. She either gets on board, or doesn't. I will be kind, compassionate, but I won't seek someone's approval...so the second I feel that...goodbye and goodluck.

That, to me, is holding frame, and bringing a woman from theirs, into mine.

Title	A beginner here.. What is the FRAME you're talking about?
Author	iPrototypeZ
Upvotes	8
Comments	11
Date	December 13, 2018 9:08 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a5rwvp/a_beginner_here_what_is_the_frame_youre_talking/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/a-beginner-here-what-is-the-frame-youre-talking.70544 https://theredarchive.com/post/70544

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