Yo!

Im 18yo, 181cm and 76kg. Im a male and like I always hated my body. Im not fat nor skinny, I have some muscle but Im not lean nor muscular. I got fat on my stomach area, legs and etc. I just look flat and then got a fat ass cuz body dysmorphia(im not sure its that big though). I always hated my body. And when I eat junk food, I hate myself even more. I can't remember the last time I was satisfied with myself to be honest. Right now I dont know if i should lose fat or gain muscle. I dont know what diet to do.

I've tried counting calories. And I did for like 4 months. Lost a good amount weight, BUT HOLY FUCK I HATED IT. I WONT EVER COUNT THAT SHIT AGAIN. I was stressing my ass out and being obsessive even more, i hated myself even more. Feeling better ever since I stopped counting them. I already go to the gym and my lifts arent bad.

I've read so much shit about diets so im hella confused. Keto, low carb, no carbs, only healthy carbs(oats,rice,pasta) and meats and stuff like that(clean eating), vegan, intermittent fasting, calorie counting etc...

I dont know wha to do. How should I eat? Should I focus on gaining or losing weight?