My boyfriend watches porn, and I don't know if I should break up with him over it

dzgata · 2020-07-09T08:08:35+00:00

Lack of empathy is the biggest red flag ever. It shows he’s self centered and doesn’t care for others lived experiences. As long as he benefits, you and others do not matter.

And porn is a huge red flag as well. The fact that you expressed your opinion about it and sent him plenty of information to digest, and he still doesn’t see why it’s wrong...yikes. You absolutely cannot compromise over moral issues.

Definitely break up with him. No doubt about it.

sadcello · 2020-07-09T09:47:25+00:00

Yes, he's selfish. He said, "Not my problem," is the biggest telling sign. He doesn't care about anything if it doesn't involve him. He doesn't care about the suffering of others if he benefits from it. His porn use is not the biggest problem, the biggest problem is his selfishness and lack of empathy. Selfish men only love what you give him and he can drop you anytime or even hurt you when it benefits him. Your relationship right now benefits him so he treats you well but what if things happened and your relationship stops benefiting him and starts to drain him?

He's the kind of man who will check out as soon as you get pregnant or get sick, leave immediately.

cherthemusical · 2020-07-09T14:10:40+00:00

My boyfriend is 24 (I'm 19),

Huge red flag already. Why is this adult man dating a teenager?

"they're just hot people who have nothing else, they'd be on the streets if it weren't for porn."

He admits he's exploiting women who have no choice to be in porn or they'd be homeless. Gross.

I asked him how he can't have empathy for the girls who get hurt, and he said, "not my problem."

He literally admitted he doesnt have empathy for women. Disgusting NVM behaviour and dangerous for you.

He also doesn't really seem to care about social issues - racism, sexism, homophobia

He's reveling in his privilege without any acknowledgment of those whose backs it's exploiting.

Him watching porn is just a small slice of the issue here. This man is red flag after red flag and I can only recommend dumping him before something happens to you and he blames you for it.

2020-07-09T08:13:32+00:00

Damn, being that defensive over porn is a red flag for sure.

2020-07-09T10:43:54+00:00

[deleted]

_wannaseemedisco · 2020-07-09T14:49:49+00:00

I also want to add that his accusations of you talking to other guys is another huge red flag.. projection much?

Plants_haveprotein · 2020-07-09T17:22:01+00:00

This will not end well for you. He doesn’t respect women and on some level doesn’t respect you either. Get out now! Leave him to his porn and focus on yourself.

causticvikings · 2020-07-09T17:00:38+00:00

Yeah, all of these things summarized... Get rid of him. It will be better for you in the long run, trust me. If you can't even properly discuss social justice things with him and he shows that little empathy towards trafficing victims, accuses you of things, profits of his privileges so ignorantly... What value does he add to your life? You can do much much better.

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kittypoison · 2020-07-09T22:03:25+00:00

You are so strong for leaving. I hope the grieving process isn't too hard on you, surround yourself with your loved ones and do things you like to do!

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-07-10T00:31:48+00:00

You did the right thing listening to your intuition. His reaction to sex trafficking and rape is to defend, deflect and then continue to use it, thats not ok, and really shows how he feels about things that are not personally beneficial to him. You’re way too young to be stuck with someone like that, good for you!

Title	My boyfriend watches porn, and I don't know if I should break up with him over it
Author	izzie-chan
Upvotes	33
Comments	13
Date	July 8, 2020 11:29 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hns3ni/my_boyfriend_watches_porn_and_i_dont_know_if_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/my-boyfriend-watches-porn-and-i-dont-know-if-i.713256 https://theredarchive.com/post/713256

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