I've learned to handle shit on my own or through other means. This applies to emotions, money, and even household chores and cooking and all that. Literally at this point, the only thing I partner will add to my life is sex, maybe perspective, and there's definitely some comfort from having someone around who's just there.

I don't know how to share any chores with another partner. I literally want to do everything myself and don't trust someone to have that power over me. On the other hand, I've found that giving leverage to a partner makes them open up more, but at the same time, I HATE giving that power to someone else because I need a schedule for my life and hate bullshit games where someone else's BS is now a barrier to my own growth and purpose.

I'm an "all-or-nothing" type of person which needs to change, but I can sometimes become an asshole and annoyed at BS that comes from a partner's stupidity or annoyance. For example, when I cook, I always make 10-30% more, and give it like with kindness, just in case I'm asked to share some food, whereas before, I'd get passive aggressive af and salty and resent the other person and say "no fuck off". Any articles or tips for where to find the balance between holding frame and being self-reliant vs. relinquishing certain tasks to my partner while also keeping leverage?