In this next chapter, we will be discussing gifts and presents. How do you choose a healthy partner based on the way they give you presents? Let’s take four scenarios:

1: A single mother is dating a well-off man. He takes her out to dinner, treats her to gifts, brings her flowers. However, he hasn’t given anything to her son. She is in a difficult financial position after her divorce and asks him for money for her son and he refuses. Instead he continues taking her out on fancy dates. She breaks up with him and he is left confused. 💔

2: A woman has been with her boyfriend for several monthes. He tells her that he has no money for gifts and dates. However he routinely buys himself drinks, gaming supplies, clothes...🎮

3: This lady has been with her boyfriend for a while. He should know what she likes and dislikes. However each birthday, he buys her a perfume set knowing she has a scent-allergy. 🌸

4: A woman gets into a fight with her partner. He takes her to the store and begrudgingly tells her to pick out a present for herself a sign of his ‘saying sorry’. She reluctantly picks out some flowers that he pays for. However she is still unhappy at him because he hasn’t properly apologized with words and he doesn’t understand why she is so unthankful for the gift he bought her.

Have you recognized any of these cases? What is similar about all the situations is the fact that the man does not understand the value of gift giving. We see repeating themes of greed, narcissism, manipulation, lack of interest. A gift is neither a way to buy someone’s love, nor a way to manipulate someone into doing anything for you. A gift is a sign of generosity and love.

Here are some warning signs and positive marks to look for in a healthy partner.

Healthy signs ⭐️

🌟 He asks you about your interests and needs.

🌟 He is generous with his time and money.

🌟 He understands that finances are an important part of a relationship. Spending money of your significant other is a way to provide and protect and to increase value in their life.

🌟 His gifts reflect your needs and interests.

Warning signs ⚠️

⚠️ He lies about his financial status.

⚠️ He is a long term unemployed man. Not due to special circumstances, but due to laze and immaturity.

⚠️ His needs come before yours.

⚠️ He doesn’t spend money on your children. A man who wants to take responsibility for you realizes that your children are just as part of the relationship package as you are.

⚠️ His gifts reflect only his needs and interests.

⚠️ He manipulates you into doing things for him in exchange for gifts. This is life any sexual favours, emotional favours, physical favours Ext. His gifts come with a price tag.

⚠️ He is upset if you aren’t overly excited about his gifts. He thinks his gifts owe him endless praise.

⚠️ He uses gifts to buy your love and affection.

Do you have any situations of gift giving in relationships to share? Write them below. Until next time 👑

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Referenced from the course : https://youtu.be/SWxIX7h-HW0