How do you break up with someone you love with grace and dignity? Further, how do you handle the breakup with grace and dignity as well?

Runningdisciple · 2020-07-31T18:18:40+00:00

Hey there! Sorry in advance if I make any mistakes, english is not my first language.

A couple years back my (ex) boyfriend started behaving the same way and I also decided to part ways and heal. I’d say a really important factor of a graceful breakup is to not bring fault or nag the person saying “Im ending this because you are you are you are” but handle it in a more humble and kind manner like “Im not as happy as I once was, I don’t want to drag out a relationship as it would be an injustice to us both and consider its best to part ways”. As long as there are no insults and your tone of voice is kind and non-accusing, it comes of with a lot of grace. If theres backlash or any harsh words from his part, just remember to not take it personal as his ego may be harmed and he’s reacting out of that feeling.

Don’t give any friends or outside parties specific reasons as to the breakup and keep it as private as possible. Respect the time you were together and never make “indirect” or passive aggressive remarks about it, either in person at gatherings or on social media. I find theres nothing as undignified as shady remarks about one’s ex on twitter or facebook.

Regarding the healing and moving on part... have grace with yourself. Be prepared to shed some tears, regret it a couple times randomly at 1am when you feel lonely, question your motives, maybe feel the desire to text him... don’t do it. We romanticize the past a lot. I personally wrote down about 20 instances where I felt hurt and taken for granted by him on a note on my phone and read it out loud to myself when I felt “weak” of heart. It reaffirmed my decision and kept me strong.

No late night calls, no meeting up for coffee, no asking friends about him, no checking up on his social media, avoid anything that might make you want him back and focus on your future self. Work on your fitness, learn a skill, bake, do anything that makes you feel content with yourself and will benefit you in the long term.

Ive witnessed girls who go through very sad and sloppy breakups and i’ve also seen girls handle heartbreak in the classiest way. The classy ones always kept their stuff quiet and private.

I wish you the best on today’s hard convo and your journey to healing ❤️

*edited for grammar

MamaT7 · 2020-07-31T18:16:56+00:00

I am sorry you’re going through this. I suggest you keep it to “I statements” talk about how you feel and what you need/want in a relationship and why you need it to end. Try not to get wrapped up in minor details if he argues small points. Stay bigger picture. There is no great way to bring it up. You’re just going to have to let him know you have somethings you need to say and go for it. This is so hard. I know what you’re dealing with. It’s messy. Good luck!!

Kimynna · 2020-07-31T16:03:21+00:00

following. I’m going to be in the same situation soon and I’m lost as well.

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