I am going to try and keep this as short as I can while giving important context. Please forgive me if I ramble. Recently red pill aware, started reading NMMNG and another I cant member the tile of now but things always came up in my marriage so much so that and I never finished them. Going to restart NMMNG and get back on track, but was really looking for some advice or insight on current situation.

I am 28, wife is 29. Together 7 years, married for 3 with 2 kids. She is from mexico and does not speak English, I basically learnt Spanish at the beginning of the relationship and though we can communicate, we really cant have deep conversation and that has surely put a strain on the relationship. Humor for one doesn't translate well.

During the marriage, I got lazy, didn't take care of myself(not horrible but got a slight gut and lost some muscle, wife and I stopped going on dates, repetitive, dull, and mostly sexless. Around this time is when I first learnt about TRP and tried to make changes here and there but wasn't fully committed and eventually everything went back to normal.

Wife doesn't have US license yet so stays at home with kids and never goes out unless its the whole family together even just for shopping. So I understand my wife's situation and feelings. The whole situation from the past 7 years has been downhill.

Before Covid she planned a trip for her and her friend to go see another friend male and his girlfriend. At the start of Covid I got a job that brought be to another city, and I was here for one month by myself. The wife and I barely spoke. Out of mu frustration I started to get back to TRP and started working out and feeling better, coming to terms that I could actually leave my wife and although it would be painful, especially with the kids it would be better than being miserable.

Well wife and kids moved here with me when I got out of a hotel and into an AirBnb that was big enough for all of us. Right away things weren't quite right. Eventually my wife told me she had feelings for a long time friend the one she was going to meet soon who was also no longer with his girlfriend although they were still living together and that they spoke daily for hours sometimes during that month. My beta self had a fit, did beta things, the next 3 weeks were truly shit. Some days we would be OK but then she would go outside and talk to him on the phone for hours and when she came inside I would ask here what she really wanted. Same shit almost daily, got physical 2 times or so as she got hysterical from my questions and I had to hold her arms down to keep her from hitting me.

The last time she hit me and I told her I was done. Tried to be calm, told her I wont put up with her behavior and that I was done with her and our relationship together. She took a knife and was acting as though she was going to hurt herself so I took the knife away and tried to have a calm conversation with her telling her she would choose our relationship or we were done. She started to realize I was very serious about leaving and she wanted to work on our relationship.

During the week after this she barely spoke to her friend, only on the phone once, and occasional messages. We had a few arguments on whether she would go on the trip or not and I told her I didn't want her to go but I would not stop her. We were starting to do much better, talking more, actually had decent sex, watching movies together. After talking to her other girl friend who was suppose to travel with her she decided she would go on the trip but told me that nothing would happen and that she wants to work on our relationship and only wants me. She says that what happened with her friend was a mistake and that she took comfort in being able to talk to someone when I wasn't there with her and that's when she had started getting fleeing for him. So I understand how it happened.

She has been gone for 3 days, and will be back in 3 days time now. I have tried to leave her alone and not call but I have texted a few times showing concern for her and her friend. Beta shit I know but because of everything that has happened I don't know not to not think that way. She says nothing has happened and nothing will happen, she knows her future is with me and doesn't want anything with him except to be friends as it was prior to this(they would talk occasionally only).

My predicament.... I could give much more context but that would literally take multiple more paragraphs and this is already super long. I don't know how to proceed further. My only real concern is a physical affair on the trip at this point. Sow what now?

I don't know what to do when she gets back, how could I know if she had an affair? Tell her i'm done and want a divorce to test if she is OK with it, thus she thinks it could work with her friend after the time they may have spent together and assume she had an affair from that reaction. Or she could deny anything happened until she is blue in the face and fight for us, leading me to believe more so that she didn't have an affair.

Do I tell her I want her to cut communication with her friend completely? What else should I do? All this happened while trying to read NMMNG and beta and alpha just went out the window, it felt like being on a roller coaster everything happened so fast.

Other things need to change in the relationship for sure, I am tired of living a sexless marriage and will leave if I have to. Although I do love my wife and would love for things to change, for that I know I have a lot of work to do. I just don't know what to think at this point. I would very greatly appreciate any input or advice, thank you for reading through this one.