Hi Reddit,

I dumped my ex nearly 3 weeks ago and through meditating, gym and working on myself I've moved on and am so much happier, I'm also sleeping with other girls again. I'm unsure if she has moved on but she's not the sort of person to get over things quickly as she has some mental health issues unfortunately, but I saw her on tinder on new years so I'm assuming she has?

I have a kind of twisted fantasy though where I get aroused by sex that shouldn't be allowed, like with exes.

The issue is, I ended things quite badly with her as she didn't want to break up and was histerical and begging me to stay but I knew it was getting toxic and we weren't ready to be with eachother so I knew it was for the best. She blocked me on everything apart from facebook so I can still contact her through there.

I'm sad that we left things on bad terms and couldn't talk properly about it but I knew if I ignored her requests to get back together and her messages that it would be easier for her in the long run to move on. I suspect this may have made her hate me though, which is why I'm having difficulty re-initiating contact.

I'm unsure if I should wait for her to message me. The last time she reached out to me was 2 weeks ago just after christmas to tell me that she missed me, which I ignored. As I ignored quite a few messages from her I doubt she'll contact me any time soon even though I still have some of her stuff to return.

I'm not really that bothered if I message her and don't get a reply or an emotional, angry response, I just want her to know that when she's comfortable with the situation that I still want to be friends (with benefits hopefully), as I ended things quickly with her and have basically ignored her since.

So my question is trp, do I message her in the next few days? Do I wait another week or so, as she's still on christmas break and won't be back in my area for another week or do I wait for her to contact me? I don't want to leave it too long though just incase her last memory of me is bad and doesn't want anything to do with me.

tl;dr: broke up with my ex on bad terms but I want to be fwb, how do I approach it so that she's not going to hate me further or completely move on and never want to speak to me again?