Hey ladies! I'm new here and really love this account so far :) To give you a bit of some background info; I'm a 21-year-old female who is finally realizing that I need to heal, stop putting men on pedestals and looking to them for love and self-worth (especially gross college boys who are the last people I should be looking to feel good about who I am), and to find my own sense of self.

I am currently going to therapy to address my wounds, but I am struggling with self-love a lot. Every time I try to give myself a compliment or notice a good trait about myself, my brain comes up with a million reasons as to why it's not true. I also have a lot of shame around most of my life being revolved about being a man's "dream girl", looking for attention from men, and not feeling worthy of something unless a man has noticed it, like I'm some sort of self-centered vain person. It doesn't help that I always have been pretty good looking (not to be vain) as I used this to get love, along with dating men who always made me feel like a bad or crazy person for establishing any kind of boundaries or being the confident person I am deep down underneath the trauma. I absolutely do NOT want to be a pick me-isha anymore (lol) and I am 100% going to bring up all of this to my therapist! but in the meantime I was wondering if any of you wonderful women had any tips or insights to help me gain self-worth and self-love so I can stop this crazy addiction to men's validation and feeling like I'm the bad one or there is something wrong with me. I know you guys cant give professional advice, but I thought it wouldn't hurt to ask women who know their worth think.