Newly single, but my ex-boyfriend cut me off from all my old friends for several years. How do you start dating without much of a social circle?

5_somewhere · 2017-05-29T19:26:53+00:00

I've never commented on red pill before, but I think I will! If it were me, I would start by calling up those old friends. Just apologize for flaking out over a guy, tell them you've missed them, and ask if they'd like to meet up for lunch or drinks (or whattever it is you miss doing with them). In my experience, and I've been on both sides, old friends are pretty dang easy to re-connect with. Most of them have probably fallen out of the old group for one reason or another, and would enjoy your company back as much as you would enjoy theirs. To this day I have one friend who I talk to or see once, maybe twice per year. It doesn't matter, it's like we haven't missed a beat. It also keeps her in our loop of potential set ups if one of us (married) meets a great single guy.

[deleted] · 2017-06-04T10:31:57+00:00

There is no shame in reaching out to old friends. It's common to fall away from friends when in a relationship, and most women are receptive when you come back around.

Also, I wouldn't worry about this impacting your dating life. I can only recall one instance in which I was set up by friends, and no instances in which I was judged by a man for (or asked about) my limited/non-existent social circle. Do what you can to make friends (for you) but don't stress about it. Friends make dating convenient, but not all that much different. I've actually made quite a few female friends through dates, and they were easier connections because they were already friends with men who I shared things in common with.

est-la-lune · 2017-05-29T23:17:44+00:00

You mentioned that your relationships budded out of friendship. What about picking up a couple of social hobbies? Not only will you make new friends, you will put yourself in a position to meet new guys too!

The next piece of advice that I want to give you is common here - if you genuinely think you're a 3-4, then don't leave the house until you're done up to a 5-6.

But someone who works out, eats right, gets enough sleep, etc. should be higher than a 3-4. Your actual facial features are only one component of beauty.

mrsdazed · 2017-05-31T09:25:37+00:00

I agree with the advice to reach to your old friends back. But at the same time, I do think you need a new social circle too.

If you are not accustomed or comfortable with Tinder or any dating site, maybe you can try to join an online forum for the same interest/hobby? Sometimes they met offline and you can meet likeminded people.

Secondly, yes since you have thought about it, go work on your wardrobe. I didn't understand why your ex wanted you to look schlumpy, but you need to get rid of those boxy clothes and start to find a modest cute stuff that looks good on you. And modest doesn't always means boring. Try to create a pinterest board for inspiration from women with the same body type. wearing good clothes will make you feel good and will help in building your confidence. It's a long way to beat your depression, but it's a step ahead.

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