Value is when something is meaningful to you in some way. It can be moral value, ethical value, sexual value, relationship value, financial value, educational value, intellectual value, emotional value, functional value and thousands of other types of value.

What's valuable in one realm of reality may be insignificant in another realm of reality and a minus in a third realm of reality. For example, a really funny comedy show may have plenty of laughter value, but no educational value.

Romantic connection

The idea that a marriage is the reunification of two halves of one soul is very lofty. Even according to this thinking, the manner in which a man and woman initially unite is through superficial things. Things like outer beauty, intolerance, emotional connection etc. All things that are part of the external conscious part of a person.

Ultimately, the underlying question is - does s/he add enough value to my life that I wish to date them? Do I think they'd make a valuable spouse/parent?

This may seem shallow. That your perspective mate is judging you based solely on the value you offer, as if you were a commodity for sale. In a way, it is shallow, but there's no way around it. It's impossible for us to see the essence of each other's humanity, our vision can only see skin. Our emotional and intellectual vision may be capable of seeing a bit deeper than skin deep, but 1) that comes with time 2) that too is limited 3) it's not readily apparent 4) it only comes after an initial skin deep connection.

Dating and marriage

When dating, we ought to focus heavily on the value we offer to our perspective mate as well as the value they offer to us. If either one is lacking, perhaps this person isn't for us. Everyone will be lacking in many ways - no one is perfect - but certain types of lacking are deal-breakers and others aren't.

Once we're married, there's a certain degree of accepting the whole package. However, one of the biggest mistakes is to stop (or slow down on) offering value to our spouse. Value may be an external part of a person, a part that's quantifiable and can be traded for other forms of value like a commodity. However, we should never forget that our relationships are built upon the value we add to one another.

SMV and RMV

While you're dating these stand for sexual market value and relationship market value because they describe what the market as a whole values for sex and/or relationships. Once you're together, it stands for sexual marital value and relationship marital value because all that matters now is what's valuable to your spouse!

For example - the heavier a woman is, the less attractive she is to most men, unless your man is into that. The shorter a guy is, the less attractive he is, unless you're into that. Same goes for relationship qualities that are often discussed here - if XYZ works well for your specific relationship, go for it! Advice here is usually from a standpoint of what most wo/men like and dislike.

Conclusion

We choose our spouses based on the sexual and relationship value they offer us and they choose us for the value we offer them. Take them for granted and this may be a choice they'll secretly regret. Continue to add in the value you offer and they'll bless the day they met you.