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HB3234 Archive

View 3 posts and 1,158 comments by HB3234 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
269

RELATIONSHIPSHB3234/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 01:53 AM
86

DISCUSSIONHB3234/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 07:05 PM
48

FIELD REPORTHB3234/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 01:12 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 1,158 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Lovely idea! Any advice for facetime dates?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 05:10 PM
2

How are you dating during quarantine? ...Asking for a single friend. 😏
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/20 04:37 PM
2

Are you really the only one who can take them? There are no grandparents on either side? I want to take your story at face value OP, but please make sure you're exploring every avenue you possibly can. You are very young and if you can avoid becoming a single mom, it would be better for you-- not because of dating prospects alone but just because that's really tough, you're young and solo and will be raising kids with some trauma from being separated from their parents (and whatever caused their…
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/20 03:29 PM
8

As I face the end of my engagement at 27, almost 28, I wonder the same thing. But here is my take on it, fresh though my pain is - your femininity and your charm is so much deeper than your appearance. We may not have the aesthetics of an 18 year old, even with our best efforts. But a woman brings so, so, so much more to a relationship! My grandmother was a socialite, and she was the kind of woman who looked 35 at 35 and 55 at 55. But she was so captivating and fascinating! She was married to my…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/20 02:45 PM
9

I would focus on cultivating your femininity outside of the work sphere. Work isn't the place you want to show up in a whole host of different styles while you work this out, especially as a manager! So first, figure out your feminine wardrobe for non-work hours. This will help you really find your style. And remember, feminine work clothes can be as sinple as just a pair of tailored/ well fitted jeans and a tucked in tshirt. Wear your appropriate closed toed shoes and a belt that matches. Maybe…
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/20 07:08 PM
7

There are two types of comments here. One born of concern and one that is utter boorishness. Someone saying you look tired is not a criticism of your looks. It's usually an expression of care. Even if your makeup is done, looking tired doesn't always mean your face. Maybe your posture is slouched. Maybe your voice or facial expressions reveal you're tired. You're in college and it is so normal to be tired! A professor or parent saying that is probably just code for, "is everything okay? I am her…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/20 04:40 PM
4

I like this way of reframing. In the first, "he likes me but he doesn't call", liking equates to calling. This can make a woman feel as though the calling behavior is a variable she has control over, by being more likeable. That's a bad mindset for vetting, where you should be seeking what he has to offer and deciding if you want it or not. Your reframe, "he likes me and he doesn't call" shifts to mentally to seeing what he can offer right now, to a woman he likes... which, in this case, is infr…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/20 06:22 PM
0

I think the best bet would be to find a woman that doesn't perform gender herself... exceedingly practical clothes and hair, unshaven body, brows not shaped, no makeup, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/20 09:22 PM
3

Honestly, the vast majority of matches online aren't going to go anywhere. I think you're worrying based on a metric that is not worth worrying about (that online convos end early). Think about how many people you make eye contact with, maybe even smile at, and then just go on your merry way. An online conversation is only marginally more substantial than this - you're matching based on what is usually a cursory glance at a face and a few lines of description. I would not let this metric make yo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/20 04:48 PM
1

It also tests the man's commitment and desire to protect her. We are not an anti-marriage sub.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/20 03:10 PM
10

How To Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes. This book doesn't have vague advice like "be inquisitive and ask questions", it gives you specific ways to answer and ask questions that will help you create easy flow in conversations. I LOVE this book! I borrowed the ebook for it via my local library card and the Libby app. For example, one piece of her advice is to never give a "naked" answer to a question. If you're asked where you are from, instead of saying, "I am from Aspen, Colorado", you clothe the…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/20 04:00 PM
2

Are there any clothes you feel pretty in, or do you feel self conscious in everything? I'm trying to figure out if perhaps you're wearing unflattering dresses or skirts and are duly feeling like it looks off.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/20 08:20 PM
2

You give a man the level of trust he has demonstrated he deserves. A man that keeps letting you down doesn't deserve trust, and he likely doesn't deserve many second chances either. It is not your job to prove to his family that you're worth it. It is his job to defend you from those who would insult or question you - including his family. That's what a patriarch does. Right now he's a momma's boy still at her breast, and he wants you to prove you are worthy to suckle at the other one. It is bet…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/20 08:16 PM
4

Vetting is very important in RPW. In your relationship, you missed a very crucial step, where you make sure the man is also cut from the same cloth as you are. You see, RPW does not work on T-rexes. ...But seriously, go back to working on your ED. Once you've done the bulk of recovery, you still have maintenance work to do. It sounds like you might not be maintaining all the behaviors that would keep you healthy! For example, the fact that you know how much your weight has changed in FOUR days t…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/20 04:10 PM
10

right now, you can't imagine getting sex easily without literal slavery. that says a lot about how worthless you feel you are. if you improve yourself into a worthwhile man, sex will come abundantly and easily from willing participants.
/r/askTRP26/04/20 02:22 PM
11

Come to Red Pill Women and we will teach you how to bring out his masculinity ;)
/r/askTRP26/04/20 05:46 AM
1

I am active in RPW and follow FDS, although I'm not permitted to post there (was a ban from day 1, probably for subscribing to RP forums). I find it weird how many RPW imply FDSers will die single and FDSers inply RPW are total pick-mes. I find both strategies incredibly synergistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/20 06:32 PM
1

Have you read her most recent book, "Maybe You Should Talk To Someone About That"? I started reading her on your recommendation and really enjoyed it.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 05:45 PM
41

A marriage to a good man won't work if you aren't attracted to him. It won't feel good for you. If you're mentally unhealthy, good men might not always be attractive to you. I notice a lot of young women who call themselves "alpha widowed" tend to bring up later that they have mental health issues too. Some reasons good men might not catch your eye... -You might have "intimacy fears" that stop you from genuinely connecting with people in a healthy way. -You might have low self esteem issues that…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 05:00 AM
2

Perhaps my meaning wasn't clear. I meant it in the sense of the phrase "that is too bad" ... to acknowledge that it is painful to find out a dealbreaker about your partner. It was an expression of sympathy, not disapproval. Of course she should still be vetting - I hoped the rest of my comment clarified that. She has to look at him and decide if this, exactly as he is, is something she can live with or not.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/20 04:43 AM
21

I am curious... what, specifically, did you say in response to the fact that he doesn't want to get married? Views on marriage are a fundamental compatibility problem - aka a "deal breaker". If a man fundamentally believes that women change after they get the ring, it does not matter how perfect you are as a girlfriend. While you think you're demonstrating your consistency and value, he thinks you're proving him right - that you're only trying so hard because you're not married and it is easier …
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/20 11:31 PM
14

This means you're still evaluating the man. My suggestion is to cut your losses. Deceit about who he is ... that is a BIG red flag. To me, it sounds like his pious attitude about porn is a cope or crutch - he may even have a porn addiction. Like the way some viciously homophobic politicians turn out to be gay. It's one thing if someone you've built a life with falls into addiction or struggle. But when you're vetting, you're looking for a man that will be an asset, not a liability. Is a man that…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/20 05:06 AM
12

How long have you been together? How old are you?
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 09:26 PM
1

Do you think those two traits are tied? Like he is a workaholic, so he either does not know how to slow down OR he leaves so little time for other things that's he is perpetually stressed? To me, it sounds like these problems are two ends of the same piece of string.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 09:02 PM
4

Ooh, yes, that is a good distinction to make. The word spoiled has a lot of different connotations. I think there is a definite difference between being entitled and demanding v.s. graciously vetting for a partner who gets joy from taking care of you, and the weakness is you really could use the word "spoiling" to refer to either. There's probably a more nuanced term out there to refer to the latter, but I'm not sure what that word is. In my experience with my husband, the level of what he wants…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 08:11 PM
7

I'm interested to hear why you don't agree that a good relationship makes one feel spoiled.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/20 04:11 AM
126

Notice how the book isn't "the surrendered GIRLFRIEND"? For married women in troubled marriage, we suggest applying RP principles before thinking of divorce because their life is built together. At 25 and 2 years in, this is not applicable to you. You can only submit to a man that is worthy of being a captain. This is your time to EVALUATE and VET to see if a man is worth making a husband out of. Based on the fact that you feel you can't trust him to want to provide you with the things you want,…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 09:52 PM
7

How old are you two? How long have you been together? Has he always been this way, or has it gotten worse lately? Is there any other tension in your relationship?
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 01:53 AM
2

Are you working, or were you a stay at home wife? How long have you been legally married to him?
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/20 12:22 AM
23

Nothing makes a man feel more masculine than protecting and taking care of his wife. Allow him this pleasure, and multiply it by offering him gratitude and appreciation (elevates him) for what he does instead of apologizing that he must do it (does not elevate him). Let him know you feel so safe and loved knowing you can rely on him. That he is the best husband and father. That you are so glad to be in this with him.
/r/RedPillWives18/04/20 07:48 PM
4

Match the tone he is setting. If he's setting a light tone and joking, you should also be keeping things light as well. Before you speak, stop and think for a second. Ask yourself, am I matching his energy here, or am I escalating? If you're escalating, stop. Lean back. Offering big, heavy emotional disclosures as a response to a light joke shows a serious lack of understanding of social norms and etiquette -- or, if you're someone that otherwise has a grasp on this, that you're a pot close to b…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/20 05:24 AM
20

When you're bitter and harsh, it is like putting up a fence around yourself with a big KEEP OUT sign on it. Unhealthy men and men with bad intentions will still climb over the fence or dig their way under it. But no worthwhile man will. Good men see your fence, respect it, and stay out. A low quality partner can damage a young woman far worse than being single can hurt her. Until you can fix this internal bitterness, you should not date. Otherwise all you will attract are low quality men, and th…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 04:54 PM
26

I commend you for your dedication to your health. It will serve you well! Here is another secret about femininity. This will hold true for you when you're 50 and look 30, and it holds true for those of us who are 30 and look exactly 30... When you're warm, vivacious, and confident, people are still drawn to you like a moth to flame! My grandmother was a socialite and academic, but also an old woman who looked exactly like an old woman. Everyone she met was absolutely enchanted by her. They wante…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 04:41 PM
6

Couple things to unpack. When you say he's communicating coldly to you, it sounds like a DM and not a phone call. Is it possible you're reading a coldness that he does not intend? If he's not cold with you in person, what context clues are causing you to read his texts with a cold tone? You need to establish your standards. Even a creature as virtuous, selfless, and loving as a golden retriever puppy will trample all over you if you don't set boundaries. It's likely that some challenges you face…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 01:39 AM
1

Oh- I didn't know what to make of the fact that it was upside down!
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 01:13 AM
1

🤔
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 01:04 AM
97

Sounds like you have a good man who is doing his best to honor and elevate you - even if he stumbles on the wording sometimes! I hope you told him you're so happy you're his wife. 😊
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/20 12:56 AM
2

He wants you to reply to him via text. But if you prefer to lean back and allow him to stay more completely in the pursuer role, you can always just give him your number in the app since he did say he was asking for it.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 05:02 AM
2

What kind of complaints does he make? Could you give us, say, the last five complaints he had and how many days/weeks it took for him to dole them out?
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 04:58 AM
37

This is something that often happens to abuse survivors. Because you've been subjected to very bad abuse, it can make it hard to notice any abuse signs that are not as "extreme" as what you've experienced before. Being rough with you physically because of a bad mood is abuse. Full stop. We aren't saying your partner doesn't have good qualities, or that there aren't other good things you experience with him. All abusers have good qualities and in fact they can be VERY charming. However, if you st…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/20 04:50 AM
2

Unless you go out of your way to make yourself irreplaceable- aka generating value in some way- then you are by default replaceable and dismissable. That's the human condition. Use it to inspire you to get better, not bitter. We are ALL playing by the same rules. It applies to your (ex) friends too. They aren't valuable to you? Drop em.
/r/askTRP11/04/20 10:29 PM
2

He wrote that he wants revenge on girls that "made no effort with" him. That's not basic respect. No one is owed effort from anyone, it is only ever earned. Sounds more like your fat to 10% guy to me than a guy who was actively disrespected.
/r/askTRP11/04/20 04:45 PM
6

You were not a person worthy of admiration. And now you're mad that people did not admire your undeserving ass, and you want them to hurt for it. The only cure for your poison is humility. Of course they didn't admire you. There was nothing to admire. That was sane of them. Give them something to admire.
/r/askTRP11/04/20 03:03 PM
34

RP emphasizes vetting very heavily. In a context where you have selected a man that is A. Sexually compatible with you - similar libidos AND B. Sees himself as your protector - he never wants to impose on you and is proactively looking out for your well being (aka a man you don't have to say "no, I have a headache" to because he can see you're not feeling great and wouldn't initiate). Then it is very easy to say, "I never say no". Without those strict parameters, however, never saying no can lea…
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/20 03:00 PM
1

Confidence is not about knowing you are right. Confidence is not about never needing help. Hell, confident people are far more likely to entertain the idea that they are wrong about something because their ego is not wounded by new information or ideas that contradict old ones. Confidence is about knowing and being proud of who you are and what you do. This includes a humble understanding of your shortcomings -- the peace to accept the truth while working to improve what you can.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/20 06:55 PM
6

A man who is making you a priority knows what he wants. And he knows it is you. He makes it very clear by contacting you regularly and consistently.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/20 02:26 PM
3

I'm in a remarkably privileged position right now. I am so so so lucky to be in a low stress place. We live rurally and "live tiny", so we always have a lot of dry goods (rice, lentils, beans) on hand since that is a compact way to store a lot of food. We cook almost all of our meals. I've always been the "mom friend"... we have Costco bottles of all common OTC medicines and I am the go to person for sewing favors. So now I've been able to distribute home made masks and bags of meds to folks who…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/20 04:03 AM
11

You can call her idiotic if you want, but you're definitely the one missing the point here.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/20 04:20 PM
1

Spinning plates is also a term women into rotational dating use. It's not necessarily an RP exclusive phrase.
/r/askTRP09/04/20 05:49 AM
2

My partner has a silicone band that he's always forgetting random places. He works a blue collar job. Neither of us really cares. I never want to take mine off because it's my favorite piece of jewelry (not silicone, rose gold and sapphire, and he made my ring). We live in one of those incredibly small towns where everyone knows he's Mr. Hb3234 who lives on Mulberry Lane and has 2 dogs named Blu and Berry. I wonder if I'd feel differently if we lived in a big urban city.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/20 12:34 AM
3

A bad partner can damage you much more than no partner at all. If you are not willing to do the work to become a higher value man, it is probably better to learn to make peace with solitude than low quality women.
/r/askTRP09/04/20 12:21 AM
2

How can your partner "never cross boundaries" and simultaneously be lying to you about talking to his hot friend? That's crossing a boundary. I think you need to be a little more realistic in evaluating your partner. This will help you get a better sense of what's really going on. Beyond what he does or doesn't say to/with his friends, six years is a long time to be a girlfriend. You should be questioning how serious he is about the relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 03:27 AM
37

You can't fabricate attraction where none exists. How many of your 5 years together were in highschool/as a minor? If there is any spark at all, you can feed it generously. Realistically, though, the fact that he hasn't moved on after a year and is so open to reuniting with you, is probably in and of itself an attraction killer. If we are being honest, is there any attraction left to work with?
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/20 03:16 AM
19

Lean back. Give men space to lead the pace of courtship. This is a great way to weed out low effort or emotionally unavailable men, because they won't make the effort. They won't pursue you or plan a date. If you feel you're chasing a man, he is unavailable for you. When he meets a woman he is really interested in, you bet your buttons he will pursue her with everything he's got. Unfortunately, when a man isn't interested in you, there is no quantity of feminine coquetry or demonstration of dome…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/20 07:49 PM
4

In the future, never allow a man to invite himself over to your home. Time spent at your house should only be at your own invitation! Anyone that invites themselves to your house has unspeakably poor manners and/or is a predator looking for an easy mark... Most people with strong boundaries would find this weird and push back, allowing him to weed those people out. The fact that he helped himself to alcohol and tried to ply some on you is another big red flag that this guy was predatory. Do not …
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/20 07:38 PM
6

No extra precautions...? You mean, other than the fact that the world has ground to a halt over over this virus?
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/20 07:30 PM
7

Your partner is abusive. You can't use RPW on abusive men. It is a framework for relating to healthy, masculine men who feel fulfilled by taking on protector/ provider/ leader roles.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/20 08:59 PM
1

There's a couple things here. Confidence and self esteem grow from doing esteem able acts, aka things you are proud of. Overcoming challenges. To grow your self esteem, you'll need to establish some goals and work toward them. Be they academic, professional, in a hobby, etc. You can learn to do a lot of things that can give you confidence in your looks. Exercise, learning to style your hair, make up, fashion, etc. At your age, you're also at the tail end of a part of brain development that is ve…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/20 05:56 PM
18

Plates break, eventually. Treat your LTR exactly like a plate and she will react like plates do. What were you expecting?
/r/askTRP04/04/20 05:35 PM
12

I don't think this issue is about the guy, at all. Your deep feeling of inferiority is the problem here. You see, as soon as you learn your own worth, you will never again want to chase a man who does not want you. This is an action that is very degrading, and a woman who feels worthy does not have interest in degrading herself. Think about it like this. Burning yourself is painful and a woman with functioning nerves in her body has no interest in putting her hand in a pot of boiling water -- ri…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/20 07:47 PM
9

Codependency is generally when someone focuses on fixing other people, as a way to avoid looking at themselves and as a way to get the approval and belonging they desperately crave. Codependent people are usually enablers of addicts, narcissists, supporting unemployed people that aren't trying to be productive, etc. If you feel you are always a supporter and never supported, aka in one way relationships, it can be worthwhile looking into material for codependency. It may not perfectly address ev…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/20 07:26 PM
1

You are able to bring up and fight about your issues, but as a couple you've been incapable of resolving the issues so they come flaring right back up again. You need to learn how to identify a problem, identify a solution, and identify when to follow up. Right now, you are barely at step 1. You've posted here, what, 4 times in a month? In that time, what advice have you received here that you have taken onboard and followed?
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/20 07:20 PM
10

You don't need a degree but you need a plan. A serious idea of a career you can pursue and how to get there. You should have a rich and fulfilling life before you meet a man --- otherwise it is hard to vet well. You don't need to be working a job you are insanely passionate about to do that but you DO need to find a job that is stable and provides well. What are your realistic job interests? If your parents want you to study and will foot the bill, honor them and get a degree. It will serve you.…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/20 09:22 PM
3

Lord, just reading that the decision was between SF and Portland converted me to "Team Move"!
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/20 03:11 AM
4

Okay, so if it's moving between two big cities and you're studying at a JC, the school hopping should not matter as long as your grades are good. They understand that life and moves happen, typically. But it is best to check with someone in your field, for example, if you need to transfer to another university later for the 4 year degree, ask one of their admissions prople if you can chat. I grew up in the SF Bay area and went to JC in the south bay. Because the JCs were so impacted and hard to …
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/20 03:09 AM
1

I just want to commend your patience in explaining all this out. Your original comment was a great summary, and I think this breakdown particularly would be a great standalone post at some point.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/20 02:27 AM
2

It's possible that's true! I got the vibe that hometown was a smaller/more rural place without the same opportunities (from her saying moving back wasn't possible because she needed to be in the city for school), but I'm extrapolating a lot from a little and there is a lot of room for interpretation there. U/bitchbaby1 , can you clarify for us? However, I still don't feel she should be taking ownership for his happiness outcomes. The fact that he is working a minimum wage job and has no friends …
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/20 02:18 AM
20

Do not, do not, do not give up your education for a man who has not married you and committed to providing for you. DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER IT. Until you are married, you are your own provider only. Especially since it sounds like you're pursuing a degree and he is not, so only one of you has a clear path toward escaping your current minimum wage work. (By the way, what's the plan on this? Do you want to be the breadwinner?) A healthy, masculine man would not put the burden of his own lack of perfo…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/20 10:30 PM
7

You asked him what he wanted and he said nothing. That's what he wants. You get to have wants, too, but you need to ask for them! Tell him you have a fantasy where he XYZs you. Just be sure you don't frame it in a way that reflects negatively on your current sex life (saying "spice it up" or "switch it up" can imply it is bland or routine right now). Sex is a very tender topic... Anything that implies you're bored or unimpressed with your sex life is a bad idea. So make sure you're saying what y…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/20 10:17 PM
10

Can you give us examples of what you're talking about? Vague questions can only get vague answers. This sounds like a case where specifics would really help. But overall, right now sounds like you need more from him than the words "I am sorry", but you're forcing yourself to return to normal as soon as you "talk it out". Aka, you are making yourself act like things are okay before you really are okay. When someone hurts you, it is appropriate to lean back and allow them to come toward you with a…
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/20 10:08 PM
27

No, unhealthy fixations tend not to vanish over time. You need to take proactive actions against them, like therapy and building your self respect.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/20 04:58 PM
1

Ooh, yes, you are doing a classic RPW beginner mistake. You are trying to show off your feminine skills SO HARD that you are, ironically, putting yourself in the role of masculine pursuer... which masculine men never want from a woman! The book "Why Men Marry Bitches" by Sherry Argov was WRITTEN for you. Please read it to learn how to set healthy boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/20 03:45 AM
3

Why aren't you ready for marriage now,?What makes you think you'll be ready in a year? Is 4 months a normal time period before engagement in your culture? If no, what is?
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 10:27 PM
7

Please, please, please tell me that you are not keeping house for the 30 year old, live-in, unemployed boyfriend? The one who you couldn't figure out how to dump a little over a month ago?
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 10:14 PM
2

Running has also been shown (clinically) to be a powerful treatment tool for those with depression! https://bmjopensem.bmj.com/content/4/1/e000314
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 07:36 PM
1

"Babe, I need this new dress for my HEALTH!" Me, soon, probably
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 07:32 PM
2

It sounds like you are very proactive about your health, so I can see why this is frustrating for you! I definitely understand why you're thinking of plastic surgery now. Full disclosure: I got a breast augmentation and WOW it hurt. Now that I am all healed, I am very happy I got it done, but in the painful 2 weeks of recovery all I could think was, "I should have prayed for inner peace instead!!!" RealSelf is a plastic surgery website where people share a lot of before/after photos of procedure…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 07:30 PM
5

From a vetting perspective... Support, as a healthy, masculine appreciates it, looks like: -a belief and trust in his ability to succeed; -admiration offered when he needs it, both public and private; -acts of service which are enabling (ie, f you live together, bring him a warm drink while he is up late applying to grad schools). During a crisis, people reveal what is inside of them. Their baseline states become greatly amplified. Fearful people demonstrate more fear. Defeatist types tend to ro…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 07:13 PM
150

Are you speaking from your own experience? Ex, do you feel that you, an argumentative woman, are despised? Do you feel that people expect you to smile and walk on eggshells? If so, can you tell us a little more about situations that cause you to feel this way? In general, though... Being outspoken is not a virtue. Honesty and directness should always be tempered by tact. Tact is not "sugar coating". Tact is understanding how to speak in a way that will resonate with your audience. More important…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 06:42 PM
4

I met my husband IRL, so I am not sure how good my OLD game is. If I was better at it, maybe I would have found a partner from a year of using it - so take me with a grain of salt. That said, for me: -If you have a photo of you with a trophy, please make sure it is worth showing off. No one wants to talk about your teeny weeny trout, Clint. -"School of hard knocks" listed as their education. This man is a 10/10 catch if you like men named Kyle who punch drywall and will call you "the ole ball n …
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/20 05:25 AM
9

How is your posture? "Pot bellies" in people who are otherwise in good shape are often a result of postural problems. Weaker core muscles and/or tight hip flexors can create a problem called "anterior pelvic tilt". There are exercises and stretches you can perform to remedy this problem! Take a look at this graphic - is this you? https://bonytobeastly.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/ecto-belly-ectomorph-belly-skinny-fat.jpg
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/20 08:52 PM
25

Do whatever you like, just make sure you bang her from six feet of social distance.
/r/askTRP26/03/20 03:33 AM
7

Thanks for pointing this out. I find it so dissapointing when we spend effort and time to type out replies for people and they later delete their posts, erasing our contributions and the ability of anyone else to learn from them. I no longer wish to contribute to users who make a habit of this.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/20 04:49 PM
7

Being feminine is not about how you look. Although a feminine appearance is very attractive and beneficial, it is absolutely secondary to what makes a woman, a woman. I've seen modelesque beauties with masculine energy, and the men they are with often can't figure out why they aren't happy as they should be. And the woman can't see why he doesn't spoil and adore her. Looks are only part of the game. Feminine energy can look very different on different women. Mary Poppins is a feminine character,…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/20 04:37 PM
1

What reasons did he give you that he doesn't want to marry you, that you are working on/worked on? It sounds like you are meeting the criteria for "gf for now" but not "wife"?
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/20 10:01 PM
8

If you look good, you feel good! We need every morale boost we can give ourselves. However I do encourage everyone to be sparing with their products like nail polish, let a manicure last as long as you can -- getting more polish may not be feasible or wise in the short term. Maybe French tips for a while...
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/20 08:17 PM
7

It sounds like he is being proactive in gathering information. Have you two spoken about the benefits or drawbacks of marriage at all since this fact finding mission began? What thoughts has he shared?
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/20 08:11 PM
25

It sounds like you are giving wife benefits, but you're also getting husband benefits if he is supporting you and covering your expenses. So I don't think you need to pack your bags and flee immediately. But you're in a bit of a bind if your partner doesn't enthusiastically want to marry you. "I don't want to marry because I never expected to even have to make this decision" is a pretty poor reason not to marry, honestly. As a teen, I never anticipated needing to manage various retirement funds …
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/20 05:08 PM
3

Also, why do you go to the pool all the time if it sucks? Just don't go? Go do something you do enjoy instead, and tag back with your friends later? Or actually take the initiative to plan a date, then you don't end up at the pool...? You told us a lot about what you don't like but only ONE thing you like (intellectual conversation). Is that your entire personality? If so, I have definitely met your female equivalent in research. Wow, she is boring too. Maybe you could marry her and name your ch…
/r/askFDS24/03/20 03:28 AM
4

One element I would love to add is that complementary relationships cover each others weaknesses. Each partner can feel like they are "getting the better deal"! It's not about being a longsuffering martyr as sometimes people can imagine. If we were to break it down like a board game, when my husband does masculine work for me, it costs him 5 points of effort to give me 10 points of reward. If I was to do a masculine task, it costs me 10 points of effort for 10 points of reward. And vice versa fo…
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/20 07:24 PM
7

He made the right call. Social distancing is important at this time. In person dates really should be off the table for now, as much as it sucks. However, that doesn't mean a masculine man who is interested in you will go silent on you until covid has passed. Phone calls, skype dates where you watch a movie together or video chat over a meal, there are lots of ways to get creative and date. (But you shouldn't be the one pushing these ideas. Allow him to show you where he is at.)
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/20 07:16 PM
2

The man literally said, out loud, that he does not see a future with you. So long as you are a woman with so little self respect that you continue to desire a man who rejects you, you do not have what it takes to course correct this man.
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/20 07:11 PM
1

This is definitely odd! I can see how it would throw you off and feel a little insulting. Some clarifying questions... How old are you two? How long have you been together? From your comment replies, it sounds like you don't think he has confidence problems... but he may still be looking for validation specifically from you. Without knowing more, it's hard to tell if he's fishing for validation because he doesn't get much of it or he has a really higher than normal need for it. If you had to wag…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/20 08:20 PM
7

Being feminine doesn't mean becoming a Stepford Wife with no personality. It means that you're authentic to yourself. It means that you're not using your personality as a performance to impress men. A good gauge for if you're trying to be performative "cool girl" with your masculine traits: do you act this way in private with your female BFF? You can still have your witty sense of humor, you can still flirt! But in a dating context, do not pursue. Be wise to the tone that he is trying to set. If…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 05:15 PM
5

A man that says he loves you and wants sex from you but doesn't want commitment from you -- that man doesn't love you. He is just saying what he thinks he needs to say to keep the supply of sex coming. I am so sorry, darling, but he's told every one of those 60 women that they are special and unique and not like the others. And why are you chasing after a man who doesn't treat you respectfully and cherish you? You should never chase a man but especially not one like this! When you chase a man, y…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/20 04:46 PM
5

This person is convinced everyone is having porn sex, but not with him. If you expect a good faith discussion, go elsewhere. Posts from this male user include: "How do I get a fuckbuddy?" "How to ask for sex on apps?" "How to get sex from tinder?" "Girls who have been gangbanged, is normal sex unfulfilling now?" In AskWomen, he brings such gems as: "What’s your opinion on sleeping with your landlord to pay the rent?" What’s your opinion on sleeping with your boss for a raise/promotion?
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 10:16 PM
5

This is a healthy self-esteem reaction. Your body is not interested in being vulnerable until you feel fully safe with someone. This is normal and good. Many, many people do not have healthy boundaries or good self esteem. Going with the majority opinion on these things can be dangerous. The only opinion that matters is your own timeline for internal comfort. It is also not surprising that a healthy, masculine man may feel safer a lot sooner than a healthy, feminine woman. He is a bigger physica…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 09:30 PM
13

I feel like I pulled off the con of the century because my partner is SO HANDSOME. Come pillage my village, Mr.-Long-haired-Red-bearded-Viking. 😏 You need to make sure your partner is attractive to you, someone who brings joy to your life. People who really cherish each other don't tend to go down these kinds of mental comparisons because they see the complete person- their strengths and weaknesses both. Every single person is going to have some things they do better than you and worse. It sound…
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 09:17 PM
18

While it is important not to be wasteful, there are some places in life where it is good to let our husbands spoil us a little. It makes them feel wonderful to provide for us, especially when the reward is a beautiful and effusively grateful wife. If your skincare routine and hightlights are precious to you, maintain them! You can practice frugality in other ways- cooking from scratch, learning to mend clothes and household items, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/20 09:08 PM
1

Then don't have one. Absolutely no one is asking you to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/20 09:01 PM
1

Depends on your skin type. There is no catch-all solution. The skincareaddiction subreddit is a treasure grove of information. However, the most broadly effective treatments are EITHER a retinoid, salyciclic acid, vitamin C, or other acid which increases "turnover" of your skin so you have less buildup, coupled with an SPF to protect your skin. Don't layer too many of these exfoliation products unless you want to look like a naked mole rat that escaped from Chernobyl. You can use a different one…
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/20 04:16 AM
47

Instead of feeling bad or like what you're doing isn't enough, try to exude a peace and confidence in what you do. Be unapologetic and make sure you have a joyful energy and a good sense of humor about it all. This is THE most important gift you can give him. A pleasant and joyful companion. Combine that positive, feminine energy with a celebration that is appropriate for current conditions. You'll have a wonderful evening. Bake a small but delicious cake. Write him a thoughtful card. Try a new …
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 08:09 PM
12

Going off your medicine without going to a doctor is not going to make the shame and pain go away. Avoiding therapy is not going to make the shame and pain go away. Only treatment makes illnesses go away. You can decide to pursue a different treatment than what you are on, but please chart your course with a professional.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/20 12:23 AM
16

"No" is a complete sentence! By the time a man is trying to negotiate sex with you, you don't need a "good" response because he has outed himself as low value. "I'm not interested in that right now". u/annaaerials said it so well in her wonderful comment -- the best thing you can do for yourself is to be proactive to avoid these situations. On a first, second, third date, you shouldn't be anywhere that he feels comfortable putting his hand up your skirt or talking about sex at all! This method w…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/20 02:46 AM
3

You don't show weakness or vulnerability until you can trust that the other person is willing and able to be strong for you. You need to have your own boundaries but also be respectful of other people's boundaries, aka how much emotional labor is reasonable to ask for at this stage in your relationship? There is a right time and place. Being vulnerable about your insecurities on a first date is not the right time and place for that. A healthy, masculine man is not going to be impressed if you're…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/20 11:03 PM
5

It is one thing to be a little insecure about a trait - that's pretty normal. It's another to be SO fixated on it that you want to avoid men who are desirable to you in order to avoid rejection. You should feel good about yourself, to where you think a man who likes you has good taste! ;) So, make a point to really really address your self esteem no matter which direction you go on this date. If you go -- Just remember that if you're going in to a date with a mindset of "I hope they like me desp…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/20 07:47 PM
2

""I just don’t see feminism, gender role reversal and turning women away from family roles as providing good values or “proper”. At the core of that push is actually a lot of selfish ambition and LGBT."" Oh dear... can we talk for a moment about the homophobia in this post? What gay men or women ("LGBT") do or don't do doesn't alter how straight men and women respect or treat each other! Don't try to lay this problem at their feet. (Heterosexual) men and women need to accept responsibility for t…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/20 12:38 AM
2

Go the the couples counseling, so that it will have more weight when a professional tells you to RUN! Criticism is NOT part of a healthy relationship. Healthy partners may ask each other to change a behavior ("I need you to be more mindful of your to do list. It frustrates me when you don't order something when you said you would"). Healthy partners don't criticize or say hurtful things in response to a behavior they don't like ("you have no personality"). You clearly have very weak boundaries a…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/20 12:11 AM
1

Fascinating. I've lived rurally for about a decade and move 2-3x a year for my job. In my experience a lot of small town folks aren't very attractive but I definitely don't see many couples that seem mismatched.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/20 06:11 AM
1

Wow what rural area do you live in?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/20 04:46 AM
2

All you need to know is that your attraction is lessened. It's time to move on. Courtship is for cultivating attraction. If he has mental health issues he isn't addressing, you shouldn't be dating him! If you suspect that a man can't juggle life and dating, run! He can't drop living, so he can only compromise what he offers you. There are plenty of wonderful men in the world for you to meet, ones who have their lives in order and are ready to date in order to enrich & be enriched.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/20 01:23 AM
2

Why not separate the wheat from the chaff sooner?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 07:51 PM
1

I agree. The difference is that healthy self esteem gives you an extra layer of protection which allows you to use your frontal cortex to decide the dopamine from the thug is not worth it--the same faculties you use not to eat the second cupcake.
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/20 02:49 PM
1

Nope. I said they don't court ugly women hoping they'll glow up, so we are no longer dating men who are works in progress as an investment. We are going for the finished product. Why did I say that? BC The OP claimed women want a finished product and I yes, yup that's what men want so why shouldn't we? In case you need a refresher: "Men don't date fat, ugly women with 0 domestic and career skills and hope that she will become their domestic goddess sex kitten if they just take her on enough wine…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/20 07:20 AM
4

I am in southern California and we have been hit by a BRUTAL cold. 2-3 weeks. Starts out looking and feeling like a sinus infection, then sounds like bronchitis for a few days, then just fatigue and a dry cough for a week. Long fever times too. This is a great place for you to use admiration plus your feelings (which he can't argue) instead of logic and argument. "You always work so hard for us, and I see you persevering even through this illness as another example of you always putting our fami…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/20 04:58 AM
1

My point is that men go after the hottest women they can get. Ugly NPC men will get ugly NPC women, if you choose to look at people through a lens like that. However, they are still going for the hottest women they can grab, not playing "build a barbie".
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/20 04:16 AM
1

Who happen to be rich and famous? S h o c k e r
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/20 07:23 AM
46

You're lacking in self esteem and self respect. When you authentically feel both of these traits, you do not seek out things which hurt you. You move away from them, naturally. You are a people pleaser because you need other people's approval as a substitute for your own self approval. If other people don't approve of you, then NO ONE does... and naturally that feels bad. You need the approval of a jerk because you don't have your own approval! Now the hardest thing here is that behaving in a wa…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/20 03:13 AM
1

Sure, you could argue that as a solution. But if someone's not fully aware of why they are frustrated, just that they feel bad (aka the premise of my post), they aren't really in a position to effectively solve their problem. AKA why women might leave otherwise decent relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/20 12:31 AM
0

And Quasinodo wanted Esmeralda. What's your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/20 11:30 PM
1

You can set ANY boundary you want, but you must be willing to accept the consequences. Are you willing to lose this BF? If YES, simply be honest. "Darling, since we have met, I have realized I really don't like working out and fitness is not a priority at this time in my life. I need you to respect that and stop asking me to go to the gym or exercise any more." It sounds like you may just plain be incompatible and THAT IS OKAY!! However, it sounds more like you give this relationship SO MUCH tim…
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/20 08:31 PM
1

You aren't "addicted to make up", you just have run-of-the-mill low self esteem. Naming the problem makes it easier to solve... It sounds like your natural face is not "enough" for you. Makeup should be a celebration of a face you enjoy, not a way to atone for your aesthetic sins. You need to learn to accept and appreciate your bare face. It's a simple task... but not an easy one.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/20 08:14 PM
2

I've just had a frank discussion with my partner about it before. Instead of nagging about a specific issue, I would try "It feels bad when you don't keep your word to me." Framing it that way fixed it up pretty quickly for us.
/r/RedPillWives06/03/20 03:51 PM
3

People that don't want to get married shouldn't get married. Most developed nations (sorry America you don't count here) have enough social safety nets that the protections of alimony and child support are not required and marriage rates have plummeted.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 09:18 PM
1

Men that get married don't have a gun to their head either? The argument is not "men have no risk". The point is, it is boring when men act like they take the only risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 08:03 PM
4

Exactly what I mean. You are so so so hung up on your perspective, you can not pause to see what we invest. Not one part of your post even attempted to address that we don't get our youth and thus SMV back.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 02:13 PM
13

Men seem really hung up on alimony here. But you can work to earn more money. Hell, the market is in the shitter, this is prime time to use money to make money. The youth and fertility we give you can never be earned back. We can't sue you for our pre baby bodies that don't leak pee with every sneeze, forget the stretch marks and what else. We invest a very very finite resource in marriage. Money is finite, but not nearly to the same degree. I'm not saying men don't take risks in marriage. They …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 06:05 AM
7

Men don't date fat, ugly women with 0 domestic and career skills and hope that she will become their domestic goddess sex kitten if they just take her on enough wine n steak dates. Why should women do the equivalent?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/20 03:34 AM
0

Men want to lead, women want to be lead. That is a basic premise of RP. I am just not interested in arguing that men actually want equality -- if I want to do that I will go to the BP forums.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/20 05:22 PM
3

Look, men need to game women to keep us interested. We need to keep ourselves attractive to keep men interested. The labor never ends for either party. The good news is, the labor is delightful when you love your spouse. This is the difference between regular duty sex and decades of joyful, lustful lovemaking.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/20 05:18 PM
2

My "citation" is the fact that most manosphere men- and increasingly men outside it- want a submissive partner but they want no part of marriage, AKA the risk.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/20 05:17 PM
2

I mean, flirting doesn't have to be any Cassanova level stuff or pick up lines... Whatever he does that makes you feel loved and appreciated counts! When I say submission is roleplay, I mean that it's something we can back out of at any time. If your husband ceases to be a good and respectful man to you, cheats on you with fifteen women and blows your retirement on hookers, you aren't stuck. Not like women were in the past. But that is the powerand value of it. It is a voluntary role.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 10:50 PM
0

Gaming is not a negative thing. It is not a manipulative thing. Does your husband not flirt with you, or perform regular actions that show you he cherishes you? Those things are "game". ETA I am a fellow married woman so I promise you don't have to prove anything to me about a woman's ability to be loyal.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 10:33 PM
2

Oh, no, no. If you wish for a relationship with a woman, you have to start the flirting and fun well before and outside of the bedroom. This is true regardless of the presence of submission. Never stop gaming your wife. ETA If you're equal partners in the earning, the taking of responsibility, etc, you DO render it a game. However, I think the word game might trivialize something that is incredibly wonderful and important. All of sex and sexuality is a type of play.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 10:13 PM
20

Do NOT do this. For as long as you share a flat, you will not be appealing or available to a high value man. NO good man wants to court a woman who is actively having sex in a "situationship" or lives with an "ex" of sorts. This will automatically disqualify you from dating men of quality. In exchange, what will you get? Some minor money savings that you could get from living with literally anyone else, and a half relationship with a man who doesn't want to commit to you AND to whom you don't re…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 09:57 PM
4

In an era where most men do not solely provide for their families, their authority is commensurate with the responsibility they assume. The bigger their providership, the larger their risk. No doubt about that. The captain goes down with the ship... not the first mate, the deckhands or anyone in between. The authority comes with the acceptance of responsibility and risk. This is where being gun shy about divorce kicks in. Many modern men want authority without the full risk that responsibility e…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 09:50 PM
12

RP is a toolbox. Only take what you need. If you're not interested in a masculine man, why use tools for attracting a masculine man? Yes, you could probably get relationships this way with the kind of man you don't seem to want-- but why would you want that? Can you help me understand a little more? What are your goals? From what I read right now it sounds like you are asexual but not "aromantic". You want a life partner but not a sexual one. You have a libido but it's more of a "you" thing. Doe…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/20 04:48 AM
4

The best thing you can do for dry feet is to put on a thick hydrating lotion (get a $20 tub of cetaphil and it will last months!) before bed and then put on a pair of clean socks! The BEST skincare is a diet that is rich in vitamin A and C, low in dairy and sugar. Broccoli, leafy greens, citrus... aka eat your fruits and vegetables. Take a prenatal vitamin or omega 3 supplement for your skin and nails. The Ordinary makes great and affordable products. The Deciem website is a great tool for findi…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/20 04:28 AM
6

What in my post inspired this response from you? It sounds like you feel-- felt?-- like you were constantly on audition in your relationship. That's really not a healthy attachment, and men and women would do better to reject such unhealthy dynamics.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/20 02:08 AM
16

Men want to feel special. A lot of people here can be really disparaging to women and our fEeLz but men so desperately want to be your "exception to the rules" too. They want a girl that is a slut ONLY for them. A woman who is choosy and chooses them. Can most men articulate this? No, probably not. But they want to feel like they are special and irreplaceable in their relationship... because everywhere else in the world men are viewed as wholly replaceable and expendable in relation to other men…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/20 06:32 PM
5

We all moved to a cottage in the woods, where we grew herbal remedies and cook children into pies
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/20 05:55 AM
9

I think one of the things you need to remember is that even though you can't get pregnant and are trans, these are not things you are apologizing for or "making up" for. You need to really own your reality as a woman and be confident in your feminine energy. You aren't going for a man who says, "she's trans but wow she is an amazing homemaker so I am going to settle for her". No quantity of cooking, cleaning, admiration, loyalty, sex and support is going to change a man who isn't enthralled with…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/20 02:50 PM
3

I think therapy would be really useful here. I will second a suggestion for EDMR. It can really help you separate the idea of sex and "in trouble", which unfortunately was your first connection. I also suggest getting more comfortable with your own sexuality. If you can masturbate once a week to begin with and then say positive affirmations to yourself afterward, you can start breaking the mental cycle of sex = bad for yourself. I know it sounds so hokey and lame but affirmations are so powerful…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/20 03:50 AM
1

Hang on a hot minute. What do you mean when you say, "I feel like I'm working uphill in the way that I want a family and men who also want a family want someone that could give it to them which unfortunately I can not"? What does it mean to want a family but not be able to give a family? Are you trying to say you are infertile? You only want to adopt? Something else?
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/20 03:41 AM
22

A man that sees himself as your protector should not be making demands of your intimacy that are hard for you to meet. The answer to this question varies from couple to couple. It can be healthy both ways -- it depends on YOU, and also the thing you're arguing about! Some women, as one poster in this thread, can have sex in an argument. It can help the couple feel like it is "us against the problem" or a reminder that the union matters more. For these women, the physiological "arousal" of an arg…
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/20 02:24 AM
1

I take it about as seriously as one ought to take speculating on a reddit thread 😏
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/20 07:31 PM
1

No, I don't take any person as a reliable narrator of their own lives, and no, I am not apologetic about that
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/20 01:11 AM
1

Wow how dare someone suggest that all people are not always self aware about all things at all times, and that researched social trends may actually affect people in a society
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/20 08:04 PM
3

You can have whatever attitude you want about it. It doesn't stop the fact that happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/20 05:19 AM
1

Do you want to go on better dates, or do you want to continue the current arrangement but under the title of "girlfriend"?
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/20 05:12 AM
4

I am one too! 💃
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/20 04:16 AM
4

There's a big difference between love bombing (what narcs often do) and healthy love. People with healthy self esteem and boundaries don't tend to fall in love in response to love bombing. Instead they feel, "this is too much, too soon -- something isn't right here". If you don't feel attraction outside of lavish or inappropriately large displays, it means you may need therapy and some deep self reflection in order to heal your wounds. It may be that you feel unless a man pulls out every stop, h…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/20 02:16 AM
5

Everything I said is 100x MORE important for LTRs, not less.
/r/askTRP26/02/20 12:58 AM
6

If you never want to cohabitate, don't. I wrote that women do more work "whether they are aware of it or not" specifically because my post was addressing why women in "otherwise not bad" relationships leave. They are doing more work. They might not be fully aware or able to articulate that, but they can definitely feel that it's not worth hanging around for more of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 11:11 PM
1

Oh, yeah, I am not saying you should expect him to pay your share. You should definitely be paying for your half of the trip (400), but not for any portion of his responsibility (ex, don't pay 600 while he pays 200). It sounds like he wants to take good care of you and you don'tneed to run for the hills... but he does need to get a better handle on his finances!
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/20 09:12 PM
18

Women have to do a lot of work in a relationship, whether they are aware or it or not. So if the man isn't exciting and worth the labor, she feels it isn't worth sticking around if she isn't "in love". Research shows women do more of the social and household labor, even when they work the same hours as their spouse or even if they are the breadwinner. They're the caretakers of the sick spouses and kids, but often have to power through their own illnesses. If you're not IN LOVE, if the guy isn't …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/20 08:59 PM
1

It can be a tough conversation to have so kudos for tackling it head on. Just remember to be very firm about your boundaries. Boundaries are specifically things you can not or will not compromise on. Don't let him try to convince you that a reasonable compromise is you paying for 50% of his trip or you pay for all the dates going forward. He needs to own that if he can't afford the trip then he can't go. His finances can not limit what you spend your money on or if you go on the trip or not. You…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/20 08:41 PM
9

As a general note.... Men don't date fat, unattractive women in the hopes they will glow up after being taken on enough wine n dine dates. Women need to stop dating men like projects. It just doesn't work. Now, you're young, and you'll insist this is not you trying to play Bob the Builder but instead you're both young and figuring your way. In that case, the name of the game for both of you is healthy financial boundaries. Neither of you should be spending money you don't have, and neither of yo…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/20 08:04 PM
32

If you are not willing to hard next after a handful of soft nexts, you have no abundance and your plates will smell it from a mile away. The soft next has no impact if they can reliably count on your return. The only disciplinary measure is for YOU to hold yourself accountable. Build your value and your abundance.
/r/askTRP25/02/20 07:52 PM
3

It means, You're soft nexting too much and it's predictable. Your value to them is not high enough that a loss of your time/attention is of much consequence. What is probably happening is that you're soft nexting them so often that instead of projecting that you are too busy to give time to them if they act out, in their eyes you're butthurt and will come back to them once you're done licking your wounds. It's weak behavior that lowers their attraction to you, which probably increases the behavi…
/r/askTRP25/02/20 07:47 PM
21

You are not dating a man with potential. I am sorry. He sounds like he will be an adolescent for a long time yet. This is what dating a man with potential looks like: Fred is 20, majoring in busines. He wants to start his own widget company when he graduates but right now he's an intern, so he doesn't have much cash. His small dorm is full of prototype widgets. He is working toward his dreams. Frank is an autoshop apprentice at 20. He works harder than anyone you know, and is always conscientiou…
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 08:14 PM
14

You can have dreams for your daughter. But realize that at 13, she is exploring early ideas of autonomy, where she fits in with her peers, and where she fits in in the world. Her brain is still developing. Just like it would be ignorant to expect a one year old to have object permanence (ie, babies that young do not realize that objects out of view still exist!), you need to accept where she is in her development and be mindful of it. You can not treat your girl like a woman. In the future, you …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/20 07:55 PM
19

I am going to share a secret with you. Men are wonderful. They really are. "Handsome, smart, funny, kind, generous, shares the same world view as me, wants the same things" are NOT rare traits in men! You do not have to hang on to one man who has these traits like he is a life boat on the open ocean. Have faith in men. Let him go.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/20 07:10 PM
1

It suits you ... but that fuzz at the top is just awful. Get rid of it entirely. I can't tell from the photo but if you don't do this, also learn to fade your beard so it doesn't end at an abrupt edge by your ears.
/r/askTRP23/02/20 04:20 PM
4

Where do you live? Is there an option like community college for you - a place where all students are accepted? Here in California many students who are motivated but had challenges in high school attend 2 years of community college and then apply to transfer to better universities. Some get into top tier ones.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/20 04:16 PM
1

There is biological beauty (ex, symmetrical features) and then there is cultural beauty born of aesthetics, wealth/status signaling and tradition (painting your teeth black in Heian Japan, for example - black teeth never indicate good health). I honestly think a good chunk of our stiletto type footwear will fall under the second category and will look bizarre to outsiders in 500 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 08:07 AM
1

It feels like you're trying to convince me that RP has merit... I am a regular contributor at RPW. Even women who enjoy heels, dresses, and makeup "for themselves" are doing it in the patriarchal cultural context they were born in. In that cultural context, beauty is winning. Beauty is power. Beauty is worth. Because male power structures reward beauty. Even if you don't want to date a man ever and you like being pretty only in the confines of your cloistered convent... you can not remove the cu…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 05:54 AM
1

😍
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 05:34 AM
2

hamster away and stay fat all you please . . . a buff man will be by shortly to pick up those toppled goalposts 😘
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 05:20 AM
18

I noticed in a reply to another user, you wrote that you make every effort to be a doting partner and are not sure how to step it up. However, when women give and give and give, men tend to think we are content with what they're giving us right now. When we try to give even more in an attempt to inspire back the original vigor from them, they think we are REWARDING them instead of expressing that we have unmet needs. Is there any chance that, in your haste to be the best-gf-ever, you've taken aw…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/20 04:01 AM
1

The thing about finances is that different goals and different problems... need different strategies to address them. Different ways of handling money. Different ways of directing that money. Different ways of getting your first mate onboard. There's no one cut and paste in such a complex matter. Unless you ask better questions, you won't get better answers.
/r/askMRP23/02/20 03:43 AM
6

I wonder if the female resentment would drop if stay at home men spent 1/10th of the time & money that any woman spends on her appearance? I've never met a stay at home husband or no breadwinner husband who had glowing skin and a ripped body and great fashion lol. But I routinely see SAHMs picking their kids up from school with curled hair, have had Mommy Makeover plastic surgery or recovered from childbirth like goddamn warrior queens, heels, nice clothes, nails done, etc. It's like we have a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 03:23 AM
10

Do you have financial problems right now? Can you anticipate weaknesses that might be present in your financial plan?What are your financial goal(s)? Your vague descriptions make it sound like this is about getting control of the finances for the sake of Red Pill Alpha Brownie Points and not at all about guiding the finances toward some vision. You don't obtain control and then look for a financial vision afterward. You lead because you have a destination you're going toward.
/r/askMRP23/02/20 02:18 AM
6

Probably because you described meeting him on a site where people seek arrangements. If you're not trying to marry the man, why are you asking RPW for advice? We promote marriage/long term commitment here.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/20 07:24 PM
1

Do you have the SMV of her favorite rapper? If not, it doesn't make any sense huffing and puffing about how she would treat a higher value man.
/r/askTRP22/02/20 04:17 PM
16

Men don't pay sugar babies, escorts, and other sex workers just for the sex and your time. They pay you so that they don't owe you their emotional labor, and they pay you to go away. Unless he's looking for a SGF, nothing is going to happen here for you no matter how hard you try. Enjoy your sugar relationship for the NSA, casual element if that is what you want. If it isn't, move on.
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/20 03:35 PM
1

He may not see it this way, but in would definitely consider "being generally anxious" to be the real issue that is being triggered by these smaller things. It's great that you were able to open up to him about your concerns and be validated. Hopefully he seeks help and you two can put this in your past soon. Good luck to you both!
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/20 03:02 AM
5

Isn't our very first rule here that advice should be woman-centric? I'm not sure what OP is supposed to do with this comment... except maybe feel guilty for the fact that she needs her partner to be able to treat minor inconveniences like minor inconveniences? He's not showing run of the mill vulnerabilities or weaknesses. He is having big reactions to little things. Even the man in question agreed that he needs coping mechanisms and therapy (per OP's update). The reasonable take-away here is th…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/20 02:56 AM
1

Yikes! Sounds like a big problem with selfnl discipline. What do you do right now when you need to develop a healthy habit?
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/20 12:56 AM
1

Be patient with your body. It will catch up. Do your best to eat well, hydrate and exercise, and allow time to work its magic.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/20 12:55 AM
24

Three things. One, if he isn't already a close friend of yours, don't cross boundaries by trying to comfort him about his breakup. Don't try to use his current pain to engineer intimacy - that's on the behavioral spectrum somewhere between scavenger and predator. So no, nothing you can do. Two, do not wait around for him to heal. Who knows how long that can take. Actively see other people. Allow him to pursue you if/when he heals if you are still single. But don't wait around for it. Don't be hi…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/20 12:50 AM
28

It doesn't get better unless you seek help. You have been taught some very harmful and unproductive ideas about sex and marriage. It would be wise to unpack these with a therapist or trusted faith leader (who is not rooted in purity culture). You can absolutely un-learn these ideas, and it would really behoove you to. Your fiance wanted, and wants, YOU! You are precious to him and he loves you. Any ideas that take this blessing and make you feel bad about it are toxic for you both, so you need t…
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/20 12:41 AM
2

If you lose weight rapidly, your skin needs time to catch up. You're 20, so it can and will catch up. Be patient with yourself and try not to lose more than 1 or 2 lbs a week. The things your skin needs for health are fats, so make sure you haven't eliminated fat from your diet. A low fat diet is still like 25-30% calories from fat, no 0 calories from fat. Many young women make this mistake when dieting. Make sure you get healthy fat from nuts or seeds, veggies like avocado, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/20 07:08 PM
3

Just remember, beta orbiting is unattractive. Lax standards are unattractive. Being unattractive is never going to attract a man to you. Any time you want to orbit, just remind yourself that it would make you unattractive. Would you cut all your hair off and draw a moustache on in the hopes that it would somehow be magically sexy and cute when YOU do it, even though it wouldn't be on any other woman? No? Then don't do that here either.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/20 07:01 PM
5

5 months in, you are vetting a man -- not striving to accept his flaws. This thought process is not going to serve you well. It sounds like the things that trigger his upset feelings are NOT the only thing going on for him. Do you know what his real problem could be underneath it all? Because he sounds vulnerable or stressed in other ways, which are probably the root source of his bad feelings. Until he addresses whatever those issues are head on, this problem won't get better. If he never chang…
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/20 05:31 PM
1

This is a piece of advice that sounds good in theory but in practice could be a big fail. It is rarely a good idea to spontaneously jump on something that your husband is in charge of. It's much better for a wife to trust him to do it and offer admiration and gratitude when it is done. Save the help for when it is asked/delegated. There are better ways to demonstrate and utilize your competence/ ability to learn new things... use that skill on things in your domain of responsibility.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/20 04:39 PM
1

What on Earth is it lately with all these men coming to us for advice on male issues that belong on askTRP and askMRP?
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/20 04:32 PM
5

Exactly! There are so many options between "just take it" and "shut it down with your fists". But this isn't a young man, OP's partner is a 32 year old man! Maybe because my husband and I are younger than that ourselves but I think the window for cutting slack for inexperience passed by some time ago.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/20 05:12 AM
14

Seems like your partner made the mistake of confusing spineless and tactful... A man who wanted to protect you would have removed you from that situation -- although ideally it would not have happened at all. You said no the first time. He should have backed you up when he came back and said, "Sorry, we aren't free tonight. Let's plan for another time."
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 10:22 PM
3

To me, the core of it is give your husband the benefit of the doubt always. Trust he plans for and means the best for you. That he does things deliberately and lovingly. View everything through this lens. For women who are dating, NONE of this applies to you!!!! Give him only the trust he has earned via his demonstrated behaviors.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 10:04 PM
4

No, I don't think it's anything insightful for a man. The summary of the book is, "you match his investment and here is what that looks like". Most people instinctively can feel if someone is over eager or crossing boundaries... But few of us are as good at catching our own selves demonstrating this behavior. Why Men Marry Bitches helps women identify their eager beaver behavior. A man would be better off reading No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Glover. Yes, RPW would generally advise caution against…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 09:59 PM
1

This is something men can guide you better on than women. However, in would reccomend a book called "For Men Only" for you that has a chapter on wandering eyes.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 02:16 AM
28

The thing about men is that they are wired to pursue us. If a man isn't trying to do this for you, he is either low value or just not that into you. Our job is to give him an indicator of interest to make it safe to pursue- it could be smile, eye contact, or even asking him a question in real life, or a like or message on a dating app. But after that, you have to let him pursue. You can't make a man become interested in you, you can only fan the flames of his interest if they already exist. Yes,…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 02:02 AM
20

I think one of the things that is hard about "Instagram models" vs traditional porn is that it is interactive and personal, just like with a cam girl. The IG model may never message back but this is someone he can DM, comment, read their captions, follow every post, etc. It can feel like getting to know someone. And that's the pain point: porn is usually just lust or visual stimulation, but when you mix in any element of familiarity or a relationship, it can start to cross boundaries quickly. On…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/20 01:51 AM
4

If the only reason you are in a relationship is for a steady supply of sex, yes you should play the field. If you're seeking anything more, the world of casual dating will come to feel like a time waste.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/20 05:08 PM
62

Red pill is not a dogma or a political philosophy. We have everyone here from highly conservative and religious women to far lefty tree huggers. The reason for this is that red pill is about self improvement and a way of relating to men, it is an amoral sexual strategy. You can dovetail it into any philosophy you please.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/20 05:06 PM
3

Can I ask what a "gentleman" is to you, since you say you want one but do not want a door held open, do not want a jacket loaned, nor for him to volunteer to check the things that bump in the night? Do you simply mean "a man who has acceptable manners"?
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/20 03:25 AM
9

Never, ever turn down a work opportunity for a man who does not pay all your bills. I wouldn't bother mentioning it at all. He is your colleague. That means that when you're at work, you'll have to do work together. That is how jobs work. If your colleague hasn't behaved inappropriately toward you, there is nothing to address. However, it doesn't sound like your partner HAS asked you to turn down work, or to disclose every time you work with this person. This sounds like stuff you considered on …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/20 03:03 AM
5

If you love kissing/ having plenty of sex AND you love your own self, you will have a hard time seeing a man who does not share these traits as "high value". Sexuality and attraction are incredibly important to relationships, especially life-long monogamous ones. There is detrimental pickyness that can cause you to miss out on a good guy, like refusing to consider a man under 6' or a man who doesn't like the same music as you... but vetting for sexual compatibility is NOT one of those inane litt…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/20 02:31 AM
2

I am married to a man that is attractive and wonderful, and I encourage any woman who wants a good marriage to employ my same "cynicism". As for restricting the number of people that "can be ethically fair" -- this isn't even relevant. I am not saying the ugly are immoral. Lord. I am saying that the ugly are just as human as the attractive, as likely to be time wasters, losers, and fuck boys as they are to be dedicated, hard working or loyal, and THUS you should only date people who you find att…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/20 06:29 PM
1

You should talk to someone about that. But not me, or this thread. I am explaining women's concerns and yes, no shit, men are people and have concerns too. I am allowed to talk about One Thing without addressing Every Other Fucking Thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/20 04:04 PM
3

Spoiler alert: unattractive people are in no way kinder, smarter, wiser, or more generous than ugly ones. They will waste your time just the same. So why count them?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/20 04:02 PM
2

I think you should do what feels comfortable for you. Don't try to push yourself to give more or less in an effort to shape his ideas about you. You want him to be able to read your body language accurately and modulate his behavior accordingly --- and good men WILL do this! So, are you a physically affectionate person? For you, a hug is fine! Are you a little more reserved? Allow that to be communicated by your body language and don't feel pressured to offer an ounce more touch than you want. A…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/20 02:50 AM
5

Thank you! I happened to write a post at the beginning of last year with my personal recommended reading list, which you may find useful. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/a97qg7/10_books_to_read_in_2019/
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/20 02:32 AM
7

Men don't do their fair share of housework, but they still want you to split the bill. Your husband or boyfriend is the man most likely to murder you. Most women who are sexually assaulted, are assaulted by someone they know. YES we are picky. The juice is not worth the squeeze when it comes to most men, which is why most women rate men as below average in attractiveness. Our attractiveness is basically binary: 1 (will do) or 0 (won't). Any man who isn't attractive enough to compensate for maybe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/20 09:27 PM
5

People have been bemoaning the downfall of traditional family values since Cain killed Abel, so I try not to put too much stock into that kind of pearl clutching. But I see so many fewer men of quality in the dating world. I think there will be a few painful generations as people revert back to "make noncontributing partners die alone again". Social trends always sort themselves out.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/20 03:52 PM
2

He is just waiting for her to become emotionally available. I am so sorry. I know it feels terrible to realise you are not valued in the way you value someone. You need to run before you waste more years on a man who is using you as a placeholder. If you stay, this story ends when he dumps you at 33 for this woman, having wasted your 20s developing a man for another woman. P.S. If he had the chance to date her, I can promise that he would treat Valentine's Day as an occasion instead of a skippab…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/20 03:30 PM
2

If a man is not actively pursuing you, he does not want you. Yes, he enjoys when you pursue him. Yes, he enjoys your attention and affection. NO, he does not want it enough to seek it out. NO, your pursuit will not eventually show him you're a catch and reverse the roles. If he doesn't want to chase you, you were never a contender. Be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. Move on.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/20 03:20 PM
146

Do NOT use this phrase as a cue to become a dancing monkey who desperately tries to prove her worth. Do not try to be a good ambassador for the face of traditional womanhood to a man that presents this bitter version of himself to you. Nope, nope, nope. It sounds like he may still be in his anger phase. This is not inherently wrong of him. He is allowed to be mad about things he feels he was not taught. However, it would be unwise to the point of being foolish, to be his emotional dump on this j…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/20 03:14 PM
1

It's not typical or healthy to discount your partner's strengths.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 09:36 PM
12

I would not even bring up the word "modesty", as that can imply you think people who don't cover up are in some way immodest. It's a weighted word, especially with someone who has it in their mind to be oppositional. I would reccomend using your feelings, because no one can argue with your feelings. "Dresses like this make me feel pretty." "These sandals make me happy. They remind me of the beach!" It is a lot harder for a decent person to retort "it isn't pretty! you shouldn't be happy!". And i…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 09:34 PM
1

One way to tell if they are rooted in respect is if they are an ask for change or are simply a critique. A disrespectful critique: you are messy. you wreck the kitchen. A respectful request: can you please do the dishes more often? And clean the stove after you use it? Respectful requests are actionable - you know what to do about it, and following through will do something to improve your relationship or one of your lives. Someone telling you that you make a mess will make you feel bad, but it …
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 09:28 PM
16

Based on this fact, is it possible that she feels you look so classic and elegant (as everyone else says) that you couldn't possibly be ruffled if she pokes fun at your new fashion? You could try something simple like, "Mom, I respect your opinion a lot so it really makes me feel sad that you don't like how I dress. I feel confident and pretty in these clothes." And then every time she brings it up afterward, just say, "ouch."
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 07:19 PM
6

"I almost burst into tears because how is it that someone who I work with builds me up more than my partner does???" This is ... a big reaction. Did you feel this because of ONE comment about your intelligence? Or is there is a general pattern in which you feel he makes a habit of insulting or criticizing you? One good rule of thumb for young women to remember is that healthy relationships do not include criticism. They don't. They can and do include asking someone to change how they are behavin…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/20 09:54 AM
15

I'm sorry but am I understanding this correctly, you are the breadwinner and leader of the home (aka husband's role) as well as motherand homemaker (wife's role)? How does your husband convince himself that he is provider and head of the household in this context? Sit him down and tell him you're exhausted. You love taking care of him and the home, but you can't do it while working full time. Say just that, and then let him offer a solution. Bring him the problem, not the answer. Until he has a …
/r/RedPillWives03/02/20 01:39 AM
4

I read some of your post history to try to get a read on your perspective. You recently wrote, "Don't ever fall into the trap of looking for a man who won't cheat. There's no such a man." So you're advising women to sleep with no one except their (much older) husband, but ALSO to expect and accept his infidelity? As an RPW, I would literally rather live my life alone and tend to my community than accept that. The juice just ain't worth the squeeze in a scenario like that.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/20 01:06 PM
117

I desperately wish for a stickied post here, in all caps, that RPW isnt about being a doormat. It isn't about doing all the domestic work regardless of your career situation! Can you explain why you both decided housework is your domain, if you're both working? And can you explain why that didnt change when he became unemployed? It takes two to tango and you really need to put your foot down. You can not be his breadwinner, consort, therapist, chef, and maid. Something is going to be unmet becau…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/20 03:46 AM
1

Men are start ups. Women are venture capitalists. As the ones putting in the big investment, we vet our partners more rigorously and by different standards. Biologically women have inherent worth because we have to make investments to reproduce. We can carry children, we have to make enormous investment in them for their survival, we may die and will definitely suffer in childbirth/the consequences thereof. Sperm costs men almost nothing and is something freely offered by most men to most women.…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/20 12:12 AM
3

I actually find this dichotomy pointless. RPW employ many of the same vetting techniques as FDS users: see how much he invests, do not have sex early, be high value to get high value. In order to follow a man's leadership and do it joyfully, you need a high value man that is invested in bringing you joy. Anything less is a recipe to be abused and taken advantage of.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/20 08:11 PM
14

There is only one way to prevent burnout, and that is to make sure you never make a habit of giving more than you have to spare. Right now, you're pouring your full cup and then a little from your reserves every single day. Soon your reserves will be empty. Tell your husband you love to do all the housework and cooking to take care of him, but you can't do it with your current full time workload. Bring him the problem, not the solution. He may surprise you!
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/20 05:04 PM
2

U/progmusichans hit the nail on the head. The level of respect that his peers show YOU is directly related to the level of respect they feel for HIM. But here is my big question: why did he tell you this at all? Was he hoping for comfort from you, in the same breath as delivering things which you would not want to hear about yourself? It is inappropriate for him to relay insults to you for no reason except that they were said! You didnt shoot the messenger but why on earth did he think it was wi…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/20 07:39 PM
4

"I don't feel this is the right relationship for me. Take care." Hit send on that text. Do not waste time on the perfect words. Just copy and paste these, block and move on. You don't owe a disrespectful man your physical presence. You don't owe a disrespectful man a gentle explanation. That is giving him your time and emotional labor. Save that for a lost puppy or stressed mom at the grocery store.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/20 08:39 PM
2

The most fulfilling missions are things which leave a legacy, something behind you. It sounds like you are missing the feeling which you get from being a part of something greater than yourself. People who get deep joy out of sports are those that feel that connectedness from being part of a team or league. People who just feel sports are fun, do not get that. So, the same things will not work for everyone. Ask yourself, what would make me feel like I improved the world, or made a difference, or…
/r/askTRP16/01/20 01:27 AM
37

No need to introduce him to RP. Just as men's RP works on women without those women having to read RP/RPW, you should be able to see if he is worth considering by merely living the principles yourself. Treat him like a man and see how he responds. Don't second guess him or give unsolicited advice. Listen, offer admiration as earned, be gracious, allow him to make plans. Give him space to lead. If he steps forward, you know he has grown compatibly in your time apart. If not, well, that's why we g…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/20 06:40 AM
6

I am so glad you are on the path to peace and growth. Welcome! Just remember, at 6 months this man is not your husband. You're still vetting him to see if he's a good match to be your life partner. You shouldn't transition into a wifey mode, doing his cooking and cleaning. Do favors with a kind heart or don't do them at all, but remember you can say no to favors that make demands on your time or resources or energy which you don't want to invest. If you feel like complaining or that he's asking …
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 06:59 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/cu4mbx/i_feel_some_type_of_way/ You posted here a few months ago that you were doing all the housework while both of you were working full time jobs. What happened after your post? Because if nothing changed, this is not about birthdays. This is about you being generally unappreciated and taken for granted, and a conversation about birthdays will not fix it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 05:09 PM
1

I use a Garmin InReach SE, which was about $350 when I purchased it but it was the year old model at that point. These things are not cheap. I would do some reading on the newer models to see what fits your needs.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 04:03 AM
1

We use a Garmin Inreach with tracking, so yes you can see exactly where the person is. It also has an SOS button.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/20 12:45 AM
1

If someone wants less than you do in this life, it's never your responsibility to curb yourself. Also literally nothing here had to do with money, buying a new houses or other Joneses crap. Pay a therapist to get that out of your system. It's irrelevant to my story. It's also the role of responsible adults to protect their boundaries. If they can't sustain a career in a set of circumstances, they either (a) drop the career and be a full on house spouse (gave him the option but he never did the h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 12:39 AM
2

I am so bored of men who say this kind of stuff, as if I was the bad guy for not wanting to work, do all the housework and get this guy to fix his career. Maybe we women should start saying, "never lend your strength to a man because he will resent you for not carrying him piggy back through life".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 12:23 AM
1

I'm so sorry you're hurting and feel less than. This kind of feeling usually comes up when we have been mistreated by someone we love and trust. It is easier for us to assume we have done something bad or we are bad, than it is for us to think badly of the person we love who is hurting us. Please consider talking to a doctor, therapist, or religious leader about how bad you are feeling.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/20 04:41 AM
2

Unless you know a lot about tree blinds and your family has been using them for sustenance for three generations... just trust his judgement on this. Trust that he can assess danger reasonably. Each person's approach to risk management is usually tailored to their problem solving style. If he can problem solve well, and is an experienced hunter, he can manage his risk well even if he is doing it differently than you would. In this specific context, where it sounds like you might have nagged abou…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/20 04:36 AM
2

My partner and I routinely spend weeks to months in the wilderness. Sometimes together and sometimes apart. Lord I worry. I express myself like, "Take care out there, I need you, I love you." As long as you show you worry because you adore him, he won't feel bad. Don't nag (remember to do X, dont do Y), just frame it as wanting him to be safe. He may even be cautious about things he wasn't as cautious about before. We have little rituals and practical stuff that help us and maybe will be useful …
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/20 04:22 AM
6

I lost respect for him. But I still had hope he'd get it together. Our dry spell was probably 15 of the 24 months we were together. We were together from ages 20-22 (me, f) and 23-25 for him. We lived together and moved a lot for my work in the federal service, every 3 to 6 months. Lived together way way too soon because of this lifestyle. Idk if it was all the moving that did it. But he went from studying online and working... to not getting a job at my next duty station... then the next duty s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/20 03:54 AM
3

You can't change someone. You can't make someone lose weight. You can definitely give them a complex, make them feel unloved and unattractive, or make them feel stifled, controlled, or judged. Ironically, your options here are incredibly slim. Very few people get into the "obese" category with a healthy relationship to exercise and food. This isn't a case of "active guy gained weight after retirement or injury", this sounds like your partner being who he was and has been consistently (even if he…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/20 01:12 AM
8

If you want a relationship with companionship, great sex, warmth, love, support, respect.... you can't view men in terms of what you can get out of them, as this woman does. And you can't tolerate any men who view you the same way. Instead, you seek the person you are excited to build with. The person it makes you happy to do stuff for, on an appropriate timeline. The person who is also happy to do stuff for you. Men need respect, admiration, and your faith in their ability to succeed. If you ca…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 11:59 PM
21

As traditional women, we actually hold men to higher standards than "liberals". We expect our men to cherish us, protect us, provide for us. Our bar is higher, not lower, than theirs. Remember that. Yes, this is emotional abuse. If he can't treat you well when you aren't able to do 100% of what he wants, he doesn't love you, he loves compliance and what he gets out of you. He is acting like it is his bed and his bedroom, that you're only welcome in if "you make yourself useful". As a SAHM, you a…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/20 11:52 PM
1

Yeah, I agree. Mind, I don't think reccomending a man purchase standard bedroom furniture rises to the level of telling him to go all out.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/20 11:38 PM
14

Here's my take on it. High value men, as women perceive it, don't do anything by chance. They are in charge of their lives. They value themselves. They do things deliberately. Your home is your private sanctuary and it shows the level of care you put into things that few others will see, so it is a great way to see his true habits. A messy or bare home warns us you're a bare minimum effort guy. If no one is looking, it doesn't matter to you that your books lie on the floor in a heap. But see, 90…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/20 01:22 AM
5

Here's what hurts my head: you hired a cleaner to come twice a week, and you write it like cleaning your apartment is just as new an addition as the ficus and bedframe. Bet your apartment smelled a little musty and everything had dust on it. You probably never noticed, but I bet your guests did.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/20 01:09 AM
3

if you think someone not liking their clit slapped makes them sexually incompatible with you, sure. you can draw your lines wherever you want. most people would expect you to just like, not do that thing and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/20 06:28 PM
1

It isn't "rocking the boat" to discuss the direction of your marriage with your spouse. She is not a captive in a hostage situation.... right? We can't help someone who isn't in the room. Encourage her to talk to her spouse, and to get the hell out if it seems like he has planned her life for her like she's just a prop.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/20 12:40 AM
1

Right. Hence my original comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/20 12:35 AM
6

Yes, obvious level differentiation. But there are a lot of men who just can't get over a move that their ex loved, but doesn't feel good to you. I've asked guys to rub my clit instead of slap on it and gotten a dejected sort of reaction. Another who liked to twist his fingers inside of my vagina and insisted I would warm up to it when I asked him to stop. Neither of those is implying anything about his dick or prowess, just that this motion isn't feeling good to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 09:19 PM
2

Plenty of married women have kinky sex. The problem is if you vet for kink/sex first, you're going to screen for the girls who are really, really enjoying casual sex and see monogamy as a loss of fun/freedom.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 07:44 PM
5

From my younger experience experience, most men in their early 20s want to please you... for their own ego. Like you, they derive personal satisfaction and accomplishment from it. However they can be very touchy about feedback, and it probably stings extra cause they imagine they are good lovers. Most men don't like to hear that the thing they're doing doesn't feel good or even hurts, and they take it hard. It really ruins the mood. At which point it feels like they do not actually care about yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 07:31 PM
5

You're going to hit more lazy and low value men than high value ones at any age, unfortunately. So you need to vet. Don't take for granted that an older man is more commitment minded or established or wiser. Seek evidence of it. Part of vetting is waiting and not pulling out all the stops until a man has demonstrated equal effort. If you offer up too much, too soon, young men don't think they have a unicorn to cherish. They wonder what is wrong with you. They assume their SMV is so high compared…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 04:40 PM
1

Right. My point is not that the wall doesn't exist, just that ground truthing what age it hits at (OP's Q) can be a fool's errand when it is hard to tell what age people are
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 04:27 PM
5

I think 1 wife privilege for a boyfriend is too many wife privileges, hah! I think she is putting too much effort compared to him, so it has created a dynamic where they both feels like she needs to prove herself to him in order to just be treated decently, aka referred to as a gf, not being lashed out at, etc.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 03:30 AM
7

Even if she isn't being grateful, outbursts about it on other unrelated issues are not a reasonable way to hash it out... so it's kinda off. Coupled with the other stuff (like you mentioned in our other convo on this thread about him calling her "a friend"), it just reads worse.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 03:15 AM
3

Edit: saw your edit after my reply. I think we are of like minds that this guy/relationship is bad news! Old comment: Oh, I definitely wouldn't say it came out of thin air either. Just that his feelings of slighted may not be as justified as he feels. It sounds like this guy resents not getting the housewife treatment... by his girlfriend.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 02:05 AM
3

I think one missing element here is when you live RPW, your partner often starts performing better in all aspects, often earns more, and nearly always sees you as integral to that success. And so he wants to provide the best he can for you. Some men express that materially. I love shiny stuff. I am like a crow. My stuff is CZ/glass but it makes me happy. My fiance got my the loveliest diamond band for Christmas because he knows my love of all things sparkly. I would never have asked for diamonds…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 01:19 AM
1

10 Essentials: (1) How To Talk To Anyone - Leil Lowndes. This book is packed full of concise, actionable advice to become a strong conversationalist. Instead of vague advice like "be engaged", she gives you questions you can ask to show you're engaged. (2) When I Say No, I Feel Guilty - Manuel Smith ("WISNIFG") This book is commonly recommended in male RP spheres but it is a gender neutral book about assertiveness. In fact, it has some wonderful parenting advice! It teaches you how to communicat…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 01:08 AM
5

Fix a flat is cheap, but it sounds like she is routinely driving a 2 hour round trip for the guy. Her language of not being able to drive to him "like I usually do" sounds like there's some uneven investment of time/effort here.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 01:03 AM
24

Unless he is your husband and providing for you, he can't reasonably ask you to act like a 50s housewife for him or for you to be a helpmeet to him. Nor should he be holding his generosity over your head, because that turns a gift into a covert contract. These are all red flags. A traditional man is guide and protector and provider. It's his job to learn to control his temper and protect you from lash-outs. If he wants you to be his helpmeet, he needs to demonstrate that he is developing those l…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/20 12:58 AM
2

Haha! They can say what they want but they're walking into your bathroom in part because of your good skin. 😏
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 12:48 AM
2

Given how much money goes into the anti-aging industry, how can you say women don't anticipate it?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 12:39 AM
5

So your answer to OP's Q is: women don't hit the wall at thirty but in their thirties.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/20 12:10 AM
5

Yeah, definitely. I am not arguing that the wall doesn't exist, just that what we "see" as the wall age is hard to calibrate (at least IRL) because it is hard to tell who is what age in this era of skincare, PS, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/20 11:05 PM
3

Why on earth are you focusing on keeping things positive and warm with a guy that doesn't respect your time and sees you as a backup plan? The reason he makes plans with you and bails is because he will only hang out with you if literally nothing else is available to him. As soon as something more interesting comes up, like the birthday or hanging out with a friend, then suddenly he is sick or busy or whatever. He doesn't want to be alone, so he hits you up, but you're just his last resort. No n…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/20 10:00 PM
2

You feel bad because you're demonstrating your commitment to change (therapy and effort with family) but you can't see his committment to change. You need two things from him right now. The first is for him to show you via words and actions that he does choose and cherish you. Are you getting those? For example, he is bringing you to see his family. He is showing you he wants you to be part of his family. What else is he doing? What could he do that would make you feel like he is committed to yo…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/20 09:52 PM
73

Almost every image conscious young woman I know is using a retinoid and has a "skincare routine" to maintain her appearance. The chit-chats I have with women at makeup stores sound like voo-doo chemistry to my partner. "Granactive squalene what? Copper peptides why?" I bet the average dude thinks glycolic acid is something the cartel uses to dissolve bodies. I think there is a little bit of confirmation bias where you see an aging woman and think, "wall". It happened to me, even, recently. I wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/20 07:16 PM
1

Done
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/20 05:31 PM
1

You were both toys in his game, not people with feelings to consider. Does it matter if you were favorite toy #1or 2?
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/20 04:07 PM
3

Nah, he liked himself the best. You were always second fiddle to his wants.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 06:31 PM
2

I dont vey endorphins from running either... but I do like the dopamine rush of meeting a new goal. I kinda feel like runners high is a collective conspiracy/lie to get more people to run...
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 06:28 PM
1

I can assuredly determine you're a bad friend because you resent her success. Friends do not do that. Point blank. You used the word yourself! You can't be resentful AND perfectly happy. Yes, she has been an awful friend too. But I am talking to the person in the room, and that is you. You can draw boundaries when she is being disrespectful. You can step back from the level of closeness and vulnerability. You can tell her point blank she's being hurtful. But at the point where you don't like tha…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 03:30 AM
11

I suspect this relationship is beyond saving, but you may as well practice setting boundaries while you work up the determination to leave. You need to stop being available, and you need to stop being this "flexible". You're a doormat. Don't gush with thanks when he offers something, only gush when he does it. He offers to pay for your bed? Use a statement that makes it clear your pleasure is contingent on him following through, "oh, it would make me feel so cherished if you did that for me." An…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 03:12 AM
1

I think you're being a pretty awful friend, honestly, and you're reaping the bitter fruit you planted. I also think you can salvage your friendship, if you so choose. Friends are people who you root for. Your heart sings when they succeed, because that feels like your own success. If your students do well, do you feel jealous that they read better than you did at their age? No way, right? You love them and you want to bring out their best! You have not been this woman for her. You have been happ…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 02:57 AM
8

If you LOVE food, learn to love EXERCISE. I eat so much. I can not say no to a slice of cake. I put so much creamer and cocoa in my morning coffee that onlookers get diabetes just watching me stir. I also have a tiny waist and thigh gap and my high school figure as I approach 30. It doesn't matter what exercise it is. Find one you LOVE. Look for it like it is a lost check for $100,000. Because it is. It is your key to joy, health, and beauty. For me, it is running, climbing, hiking, and archery.…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/20 02:49 AM
0

Men want all kinds of things that are incongruous. Welcome to the dilemma of "lady in the streets, freak in the sheets". He wants sex from you and lots of sex from you and good sex from you. But he doesn't want you to have had a lot of sex or be easy to have sex with. Now, throwing all those male expectations out the window for a minute, the biggest reason we say not to sleep with a man right away is to weed out the men who only want sex. This way you don't waste time and effort and emotionally …
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/20 01:26 AM
2

The reason it changes my answer is a one way open relationship requires extra care and comfort from the man, to ensure you still feel secure in his love. He is getting what many men do not so he has to be prepared to provide more, too. If he is withdrawing from you in that context, it can hurt a lot more than in a monogamous one, and so it proportionately increases the work you need to do to move on. Hence why advice given for a different context might be unsatisfying and leave you feeling stuck…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/20 01:19 AM
2

It's hard to tell what is going on here. Is he criticizing your food choices? Asking you to make him a meal he likes? Trying to involve you in meal planning? Inviting you to work out with him? Making you an exercise plan to follow on your own time? Unless you tell us what is going on, we can't really answer if you're being sensible in resisting it or not.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/20 05:30 PM
2

I know.... but I love the stuff and take any opportunity to reccomend it!!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/20 01:49 AM
2

Yes, but thanks for letting me get that annoyance off my chest anyways
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/20 01:48 AM
2

99.8% of men who say they like hiking on OLD are lying, too. tbf it wasn't a lie because they hiked once in the fifth grade and they did like that. - salty hikerette
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/20 01:28 AM
2

You need to go to the men's forum. The women's forum is not a good place to try to learn to be a father. If you want to learn how to be a mother, come back and see us!
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/20 01:15 AM
15

If you don't have a lot of money to spend, The Ordinary's AHA peeling solution ($8) is a great at-home facial for glowing, clear skin.
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/20 01:13 AM
1

I am not saying boots are a good reason to neglect the family. I am saying that stepping into his role makes him feel bad and can make him draw away from her (ie, want less sex or quality time with her). I am not saying these are wonderful reactions from him, just that he is behaving in a manner that is very consistent among men and how they think. She can simultaneously expect better from him and work to avoid making the same mistakes. I didnt read anything about their relationship being open w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/20 11:35 PM
4

Things that are required for work are not typically given as gifts (at least where I am from). They are seen as responsibilities of the worker. There is a big difference between gifting something he will enjoy/ use, and trying to cover his responsibilities for him. If you do the latter, it is going to imply something to him on a certain emotional level. You can't make that reaction go away just because you don't like it or didn't mean it that way. When it comes to giving your partner material it…
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/20 10:29 PM
6

If your man got you weight loss pills, would your confidence "really shake" over some pills? Or the implication behind them?
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/20 07:33 PM
6

I know this is going to sting to read, because you obviously saved for his boots out of love and not disrespect, but it probably didn't feel good for him that you were saving for his work boots. Men want to feel like competent providers. When you take on a provider role (saving money to purchase him a necessity), it doesn't feel good for him. In fact, it can even be humiliating. When it comes to things he needs for work, the most respectful thing you can do is trust that he will figure it out on…
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/20 01:52 AM
2

When you have a 16 year age gap, it is because the man is stable and settled and can provide for you. If you want an unstable man making dumb mistakes, date a hot young buck in his 20s. This guy is offering you the worst of both worlds: aging body, old sperm, no stability, needs you to be his rock instead of being yours.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/19 04:10 PM
3

Men often feel more comfortable having intimate conversations while doing something else - like driving! So you were very right not to postpone the talk til later. We tend to prefer to talk face to face but men seem to like a "side by side"style for heartfelt talks.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/19 09:44 PM
8

Notice he did not say: -I feel connected to you -I want more than sex from you What he effectively said was: I can't convince you I dont want just sex (I do). I don't see sex as a waste of time. You did exactly the right thing.
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/19 09:40 PM
0

Most RP principles don't require you to be face to face. Men need admiration, respect, and acceptance for who they are. You can speak to him in ways which show all these things over text as you get to know him. But remember that's what you're doing. You are still vetting and seeing if you're interested. You also need healthy boundaries. Realize there are limits to how much time each of you can and should invest in nurturing this relationship. Don't give or expect things out of proportion to what…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/19 09:38 PM
28

When your partner said you didnt have to do anything big, he meant it. He wasn't testing you. In fact, he is probably frustrated you chose not to listen to him about what was appropriate for his own family -- when you took his words for a test, you were not demonstrating trust or respect. Both of these things are very important to men. Probably the most important thing you can do is apologize for that. Explain you just really wanted to make a good first impression but you see now that you should…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/19 08:56 PM
3

The "RPW way" is to honor your partner. That means, you do not disregard his wishes! Of course you are always your own person and should never do something that degrades your self esteem or self image. But if he says he likes pants and you wear skirts because we say so on RPW (rather than because skirts make you feel happy), you're making RPW your captain instead of your partner. That is not good. Go for natural makeup and hair. Do your nails if you like, but make sure they don't interfere with …
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/19 07:45 PM
7

First, the hairdresser was trying to sell you styling products and/or services for a night out (like a blowout). Disregard her and maybe don't go back. Shitty customer service and shitty sales techniques. One common technique I like is agree and amplify, but not quite as harshly as men can employ it. Often, I try to also bring it back around to them as if I am oblivious to the dig and merely making conversation. "You need to wear nice dresses to find a husband." "That's so true! A nice pair of e…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/19 07:31 PM
1

I would suggest reading The Surrendered Wife, For Women Only, and Fascinating Womanhood. All 3 focus on this topic.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/19 01:46 PM
4

I am honestly not worried. Research shows "kids these days" lose their virginity at a later age than before, they volunteer more than their parents did, they drink less and do fewer drugs. The kids are okay. The kids are great. I have full faith they will find their way to each other, lovingly.
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/19 08:11 AM
1

I'll agree with you, many men really should bow out of the dating market. If you find you can't get what you need or want from dating, you're better off saving yourself the stress. No one is saying emotional labor is selfless. Most relationships have a transactional component and this is one of those elements. You're upset that women aren't performing emotional labor for you but they've decided you're not bringing enough to the table to justify it... so they leave/ghost/fade. Do your male friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/19 11:17 PM
7

Most people aren't attractive. You can take photos from almost any interest and make the argument that ugly people flock to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/19 03:17 PM
4

I think the biggest compliment I recently received was on how nurturing I can be. I was showing my friend how to keep a compost toilet from smelling. (The secret is bacteria kept happy with lots of enzymes and just enough water.) He exclaimed, "there is nothing you won't nurture! even poop bacteria!" Gave us all a good laugh.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 05:28 AM
0

Words are just noises and symbols on a screen. Anyone can say the right things to win you over. Intelligent men can lie very, very well. Trust benevolent actions, things that cost money or effort or time. Those are the true measure of a man.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 05:15 AM
2

Words are just noises and symbols on a screen. Anyone can say the right things to win you over. Intelligent men can lie very, very well. Trust benevolent actions, things that cost money or effort or time. Those are the true measure of a man.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 05:15 AM
13

You are NEVER an asshole for deciding you don't want sex. A man can have his penis inside of you and you can still decide, fully within your rights, that you're not interested anymore in continuing and want to stop. You NEVER owe someone sex. You can withdraw consent at any time. If a man implies otherwise, RUN! He is not a captain that wants to protect you. Good men only want sex with enthusiastic partners.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 05:12 AM
5

If he doesn't see it as a problem and isn't interested in impressing you THIS early on,I would also keep an eye out for other things where he is very "this is how I always do it, take it or leave it". Sometimes reasonable and good men can be very defensive about their ED, rendering them inflexible... BUT it can also be a red flag that he is not willing to compromise or work with you on very important things.
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/19 05:07 AM
15

There's men chiming in with good advice for another man to follow about ED/no fap, but the fact of the matter is that you can not change him. You can tell him the problem you have and that is IT. You can not be respectful while also dictating what solution he takes about it. You can say, "I really love (being intimate/having penetrative sex/whatever is your style) with you. I wish we could do it more often and I do miss it sometimes." You're 26. Don't beat around the bush and waste time. If he i…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 07:19 PM
3

If you bring enough value, a woman will provide emotional labor. If women were not doing this for men (albeit resentfully), we would not be having this discussion at all. As of now, some of us are even doing it for men we don't feel being equal value. Women are splitting rent and bills, still doing more housework on average, but still being asked to pull the emotional weight of a housewife. Hence discussions about stopping providing these things. Yes, men need better support systems. No, it is n…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/19 04:43 PM
3

At 40, the baby years have come and gone, you're presumanly economically self sufficient, and used to taking care of yourself. There is no need to break this comfortable rhythm for an unattractive man just for the sake of having someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/19 05:57 AM
27

Here's the thing: very few men learn to be stoic. They repress their emotions, which comes out in a whole host of ways which are exhausting to deal with. They could be random outbursts about unrelated things and then you have to play therapist to figure out what is going on, is he really actually furious about the water heater needing a flush or does he feel unappreciated and overworked at the office? Now your emotional labor is to quietly build him up and give him the appreciation he isn't gett…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/12/19 05:44 AM
2

I think I am approaching but not at the wall, at 27. I take good care of my skin, SPF always, skincare routine, facials, etc. But I definitely get called "ma'am" more now and "miss" less. Young men open the door with respectful expressions instead of flirty ones. But people are kinder to me, now. They talk to me more. I think I am more approachable at this age than I was as a young woman, because I have a confident and friendly demeanor instead of an anxious one. I am starting to have the warm e…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/19 05:18 AM
0

Captain-save-a-ho is a term you see here for men who want to invest their energy trying to help a trainwreck of a person, but hats off to you OP, this is the first case I have read of trying to save a literal ho.
/r/askTRP15/12/19 10:06 PM
11

This was interesting. According to this, I am warm and dark aka autumn. It recommends blacks, forest green, navy, and cream instead of white, deep yellow like mustard. These are all colors which really suit me. However, I also have a bright pink and cream dress that makes me look like a fairy princess and according to this, it shouldn't work very well. It seems like this is a fun style guide, but if you like a color that doesn't fit, I wouldn't stop myself from wearing it!
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/19 09:17 PM
4

Who cares? Let her use whatever term she feels fits.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/19 09:04 PM
7

If it works for you two, it does not matter what RP has to say. RP is a toolbox and not all jobs need all tools. If your partner has a fetish for like, hotwife-ing or cuckoldry or also likes being nonmonogamous, all of these things are fair play. In terms of any RP advice, just make sure you're not taking so much time away to explore this that your husband ever feels less than your #1.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/19 08:59 PM
12

I think one of the things that is hard is men often want things which are incongruous, so it is frustrating for a woman who loves her partner and seeks to please him in every way. For example, a flat stomach but big breasts. This is very beautiful in our culture. But a big chunk of men will also deride you for plastic surgery and being fake. So they want a standard which most of us just cant achieve. It's the same annoyance of men who see women only want 6'+ men. For most of us, if your body is …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/19 07:33 PM
1

Hot to me, which is exactly my scenario with my ginger life partner. I am floored by how many people express they find redheads unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/19 05:53 AM
2

I feel like you think a submissive woman doesn't say what she wants or how she feels or ask for things, but that couldn't be further from the truth. We do all those things and more. But if I ask for something and he says it isn't feasible, he knows I will express I am disappointed but not argue. At least with my partner, being this way makes him really want to meet my needs and he hates saying no. I get a lot more of what I want this way!
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/19 04:45 AM
1

Oh, sorry! That was silly of me.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/19 11:33 PM
21

That's why vetting is the most important thing here. Treating a pawn like a king will not make you a queen.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/19 08:36 PM
1

I think you forgot to log out of your main account!
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/19 08:33 PM
2

I don't mean respect in the sense of "treat with basic human dignity", I mean it in the sense of "look up to, admire, and seek to be like". If you must insist on trying to pick between these two, see which one you can cultivate genuine admiration for, which one you can accept at face value if they never change.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/19 07:48 PM
6

You don't respect either of these men. One is socially awkward and a horrible financial prospect, the other you feel is intellectually beneath you. Men hunger for respect like women hunger to be cherished, so you will never be able to fulfill them. Even if they are happy enough now, it can't last without respect. You feel like there is a gun to your chest because, deep down, you don't want to give your life to either of these men. Keep searching. Stop investing time in these men and free it up f…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/19 06:35 PM
3

It sounds like you are saying that if a man is healthy and balanced, with no wounds that need soothing, you aren't as interested in him?
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/19 06:57 AM
2

When you've agreed in the past and he has gotten "riled up", what happens after? Does he feel relieved? I am also wondering if "riled up" is how he fully and truly feels, but doesn't often feel comfortable sharing because you can be anxious? Maybe those times you are validating and feel he is riled up, are windows into what's really happening. Did you agreement come with built-in admiration in the times he got riled up? Sometimes that admiration is like the needle that pops the balloon. It relea…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/19 04:41 AM
12

The best thing you can do for him is not to worry on his behalf. Show him your faith in him. Showing him your faith looks like: not voicing your fears of him failing, and not reassuring him it is okay if it fails. See success as the only option for him and act accordingly. Showing him your faith looks like: no unsolicited advice or reminders. Showing him your faith looks like: validating his feelings and offering admiration at the same time. He needs it more than ever. These things upset him bec…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/19 03:55 AM
133

I took his comment as being gracious about the breakup, to me it reads as a green flag instead of a red one! Rather than attributing flaws to her or being bitter, he blamed their problems/breakup on the natural ignorance of youth. He wasn't being wistful about her, he was showing that he has 100% forgiven her, carries no baggage, and is ready to move forward into a healthy future.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/19 11:58 PM
5

RP says you can get sex or a relationship easily. It does not say you can easily get these things from a high value man. If you had even the vaguest inclination, those sleezes and older men are at your beck and call. The more attractive you are, the more men fall into that bucket.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/19 12:29 AM
8

Read "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty"! This book is a step by step to developing boundaries and assertiveness. Also read "Why Men Love Bitches", which is all about appropriate boundaries in dating. In terms of when men on dates veer into inappropriate topics, I let them! In fact, sometimes I will even slide in a validating sentence or two that doesn't agree or disagree with his opinion of his ex ("it sounds like you really felt hurt by her"). This helps me see who they really are.. This is not the…
/r/RedPillWomen10/12/19 06:42 PM
5

I am lazy as hell. I barely get out of bed fifteen minutes before I arrive at work, some days. If you're a lazy girl like me, long term things work the best. I get gel polish on my nails. They keep for a month. At the 2 week mark, I use accent polish (extra thin brush) and fill the gap between gel and cuticle with gold, giving a cute little crescent moon accent. I wear a gold ring that matches. Match 2 accessories together. Ear rings and a necklace OR finger ring in the same color or metal tone.…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 08:27 PM
9

Thai curry. Buy cans of curry paste online or at an Asian grocery store, if there is one near you. A few spoonfuls of curry paste, a can of coconut milk, toss in any random meat or veggies and let it simmer. Start the rice. Both will be done in 15-20 min.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 08:11 PM
23

A shit test isn't a good reason, but it is the reason. We respect and are attracted to our mates, so we wouldn't jeopardize their attraction for our lives. The women who do this, though, are not in our happy shoes.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 07:40 PM
8

When cultural costs rise but cultural benefits don't, people opt out. Would you rather be single, working, spend your evenings and weekends with friends... or married, still working, spend your evenings and weekends taking care of your inlaws? When you gain a husband, you gain 3 extra people who have expectations of you. But only 1 that has an obligation to give you anything back. Most people, of most genders, would not be interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/19 07:37 PM
3

Assuming he is healthy and well for this scenario... If he keeps up his other ends of the bargain and lets me sleep with others without resentment - no problem. If he expects chastity, he can go.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/19 07:22 PM
8

Here is my personal list, copied from a post at the beginning of the (1) How To Talk To Anyone - Leil Lowndes. This book is packed full of concise, actionable advice to become a strong conversationalist. Instead of vague advice like "be engaged", she gives you questions you can ask to show you're engaged. (2) When I Say No, I Feel Guilty - Manuel Smith ("WISNIFG") This book is commonly recommended in male RP spheres but it is a gender neutral book about assertiveness. In fact, it has some wonder…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 06:50 PM
80

This is called a "shit test". Taken out of RP-speak, what this means is that often, wives can behave in adversarial ways to husbands they no longer respect. They are (subconsciously) pushing him and his boundaries, in a hope that he will lay down some boundaries and regain a position of respect. Many women are married to captains who are asleep at the wheel. Shit tests are not a good way to inspire leadership out of a man, but most young women aren't taught any better ways. So they go with their…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 06:35 PM
7

Here's the deal: you have no income and he does. You can't make him pay for you, but you do need to set boundaries that protect you financially... you proba ly wouldn't be spending this kind of money to go to restaurants or movies solo. So just sweetly ask if the next date you go on can be a free one, since splitting a bill is not in your budget. If he's worth the time, he will either plan a thoughtful free date or offer to pick up for you.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/19 12:22 AM
50

It sounds like you have some trouble with letting go and/or being vulnerable and/or shame about sexuality. Alcohol lowered your inhibitions and let you connect with a part of yourself that you don't often talk to. Alcohol doesn't make you a different person. It just lowers your internal barriers to act on desires. The good news here is, you do have desire for your husband and you are aroused by him... WHEN your internal barriers are down. So, if you can identify and address those barriers, you c…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/19 07:51 PM
1

It is important to share some interests with your SO but there is nothing wrong with them having their own things. Let his sports or video game time be his "me time" or a way to spend time with his friends. You can be supportive and interested when he talks about the things he loves, without loving them yourself. If it is a big passion of his and you don't care for it, that can be a compatibility issue if he wants you to like it too. If he is fine having his own thing, it isn't a problem. Be you…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/19 07:40 PM
1

Yes, they are negative opinions. Positive ones exist, too. I am a firm believer that if you feel a man is not good enough, you should not waste your time on him. You can ask for what you need without being unsupportive, without invalidating, without being disrespectful. You are presenting a dichotomy of being a doormat or a harpy. Neither can make a woman happy. I am a woman, FYI, so I am not advising men to seek validation from women. Just for women to give it. Point blank, men shouldn't fish f…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/19 06:57 PM
1

Yes, but the world is full of stupid and easily manipulated people... Look at any Apple store. And they get on okay.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/19 04:11 PM
2

I don't understand the connection you're drawing. How is being validating lacking in opinion? Or empathetic? Or supportive?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/19 04:09 PM
5

Femininity provides a nurturing, supportive space to live/grow. Done right, it brings out the best out of the people it touches. You do not need to be beautiful, or even particularly smart, to be empathetic, validating, supportive. To be a constant source of admiration and respect and faith. People fall in love with how you make them feel. Not every woman can get any man to fall for her, but ol' fashioned femininity can win a plain girl the heart of a very solid man.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/19 02:05 AM
5

Empathetic? Gentle? Nurturing? Kind hearted? Generous? Dedicated? Outgoing? I would argue that hot and smart are only two of like, a lot of traits. But maybe that's what all ugly and dumb people say.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/19 01:59 AM
10

You want to go into nursing, from your other comments. This is not really a field in which entry age makes a big difference, and most nurses are not climbing a very tall career ladder either. Unless you're hoping to one day be a nurse practitioner or nurse anesthetist, there is no career harm in waiting til later to enter the field. Another thing to look into is how long the schools you are interested in will accept units for. Some dont care how old your nursing school units are, others want the…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/19 01:28 AM
50

Here's the thing: men are people. People like different things. Some want quiet and soft spoken women. Some want boisterous and lively ones. Some like a changeful woman. Some like a steady one. You need to determine the kind of woman you want to be, and be that person. Part of that consideration will probably be "what do the men I like, like?" ... but it can't be the only one, if you want to be a fascinating person on your own merits. There is no one feminine archetype. For example, Dita von Tee…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/19 11:19 PM
1

STFU is when you partner is venting at you, about you. STFU = Don't defend/ explain/ excuse/ rationalize your actions. Instead, listen til they are done. Acknowledge how they feel, validate them. Apologize. Commit to doing better. If your partner is venting about a problem in their life, you should be offering three items, as appropriate: validation and admiration and comfort. "Sitting in even a little traffic is so exhausting, being stuck for four hours sounds like a nightmare. Especially after…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/19 03:46 AM
5

I live in a "Tiny House". We have a 1 in, 1 out policy on garments, which helps with clutter but also has whittled my wardrobe over time to items I really love because I will only buy something if it justifies booting another item out. I am in several buy/sell/trade groups on Facebook and will sell the garments there if they are still in good condition.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/19 03:40 AM
3

Most RP content is aimed at the dynamics between the sexes, so it is oriented toward heterosexual couples. A lot of our material plain does not address or understand the dynamics that exist in same sex relationships, so will be of limited relevance... however, that doesn't mean you aren't welcome here to explore ideas about femininity and becoming your best self. That being said, we do reccomend only giving commitment to men you really want to keep in your life and are getting for marriage. If y…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/19 11:48 PM
6

You build your self worth/ self esteem by performing esteemable acts - things that you are proud of. When you go on TRP and spend too much time focusing on your past mistakes, you are wallowing in the negative. It is good to self reflect and self correct, but seeing as you dont perform those negative behaviors anymore, checking TRP has probably run out of productive utility. There is a difference between regret and self flagellation, and you sound mentally like you're veering toward the latter. …
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/19 11:59 PM
1

Hi yes I am 5'0. I need your tall ass genes to compensate for mine, so that our children are not gnomes. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/19 07:27 PM
10

Sometimes I "accidentally" get too much lotion out of the bottle when getting ready so I offer him the extra... gives me an excuse to give him a quick shoulder or hand rub (where he is always sore from a physical job). Any excuse for a lingering touch, really! Slow down the quick peck on the cheek, or sneak ina longer, more passionate kiss when the little ones are occupied.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/19 05:43 PM
5

His appreciation of your handmade gift, I can assure you, will not be contingent on the artistic quality of the finished product. Men love gestures of affection like this. There was a man at my work whose wife accidentally put salt instead of sugar into the cupcakes she brought us all, and the genuine consensus among the men was appreciation of the hilarity and that she would even make us cupcakes at all. As a woman, I was mortified on her behalf- but the men thought nothing but warmly of it.
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/19 05:35 PM
9

Back home, you're the ticket to a better life in your new country. Being a citizen of a first world nation makes you an asset in the third world. In the first world, the same citizenship just makes you a literal Ordinary Joe. Those women already have citizenship. In the new country, you'll only find the same level of success if you can be a ticket to a better life for women who already have the advantages of their home. Not a better life in terms of providing but frame/game/SMV/charisma/have a l…
/r/askTRP19/11/19 01:22 PM
4

I know this is a CMV but this is such a toxic attitude that I really just want to let you keep this thought process, so you keep away from most normal people! OLD allows you to meet people you wouldn't bump into in day to day life. It isn't some magic tool that eliminates the need for social skills or ability to create romantic connections... you may meet online but the app doesn't provide pre-packaged romance, that still is cultivated IRL by the people. I have friendships formed IRL and online …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/19 09:04 PM
3

Yes, I think this is true to some extent. However, to the same degree, most men take pleasure in providing for and taking care of a woman who loves, respects, and admires them, who showers them in gratitude for what they give. In healthy relationships, this is a beautiful dynamic that is balanced in other ways. In unhealthy ones, the man keeps trying to fulfill his role in a quiet bid that she will eventually pick up her end of the deal (covert contract). My partner gives me far more materially …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/19 09:45 PM
12

You're young and he is taking advantage of your innocence and trust by providing less than the bare minimum, and telling you that you are wrong to resent it. Cut this man loose and find one near you. If your relationship doesn't make you feel love and supported the way you want, you should leave. You aren't getting affection, effort, support, compliments, or orgasms. What are you getting, really, in exchange for your youth and love? Relationships are vetting for marriage. Not only is he showing …
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/19 09:29 PM
11

If you're just talking, he's failing some big vetting parameters. Men with poor boundaries rarely make good husbands.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/19 12:47 AM
1

Keep the girl with a heart of gold. Get her some cosmetology classes and a personal trainer, most 9s and 10s are 5s with a good hairdresser and a vanity full of makeup.
/r/askTRP13/11/19 06:25 PM
8

Any work is feminine if done by a feminine woman. Feminine is what you are, not what you do. You're helping build safe and comfy homes for families to grow in. That's honorable and wonderful work. Present your work as something you are joyful and proud of. If you speak of it like a liability, people will sense that and wonder why.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/19 03:27 AM
3

Do you tend to go to bars where you know the staff? You could ask for a mix drink that is made with extra low alcohol content. I am a drunk-off-a-beer lightweight and my favorite bartender makes me big drinks with the smallest splashes of alcohol so I can drink on pace with everyone else without getting sloshed.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 05:32 PM
4

I put hot cocoa powder or vanilla syrup in my coffee to liven it up! We call our mornings our "coffee date". Even though sometimes all we are doing is sitting together, half dead with coffee in our hands... it feels cozy because we call it a date.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 05:28 PM
16

You are young and full of hormones. Obviously keep track that you are not losing hours and hours to it, all things in moderation. However, it is good to know your body. Know how to make yourself orgasm. If you know what pleases you, you don't need to sleep with a lot of people to learn what you like in bed! Women's libidos tend to be more "reactive" as we leave puberty and get older. One of the ways to keep libidos lively and active is to masturbate. Sex therapists advise women with low libidos …
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 05:25 PM
2

Beta isn't bad. Beta describes the provisioning/providing side of male behavior. Just as men want a woman who is agreeable but not a doormat, women want a man with some beta traits but not for his whole identity & value based on it. Masculinity is far more than seeking sex. As social mammals, our core programming is to ensure not just the survival of our direct descendants but those who would call us their ancestors. Masculinity and femininity are two approaches to ensuring this survival, throug…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 05:11 PM
6

You get to choose your wife, if you choose to marry. It isn't like you roll the dice and get a random representative of our culture... If you want a marriage where everyone has their role, you can still select for that. My husband and I find this dynamic to be healthier and happier for us both.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/19 11:16 PM
8

Sounds like you like to be dominated a bit, and also are a bit of an exhibitionist about it. Honestly even this post reads a little exhibitionisty to me.
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/19 09:57 PM
3

Yes, you can if you're both economically independent and/or have a government which provides social safety nets to ensure you do not become broke/homeless/unable to get health care in the event your spouse leaves you. This has been shown by the fact that marriage is plummeting across the bulk of prosperous Europe.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/19 09:39 PM
65

Dale Carnegie's wife, Dorothy Carnegie, wrote a book called "How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead". In general, the power of having a supportive and bolstering spouse improves ones career/finances, health, and happiness. However, by a greater measure, an unsupportive one can drain you and tear you down greatly. If it is worth it depends on your ability to filter and vet, as well as your own risk tolerance. If your gut says it will be a raw deal for you, it probably will. Buddha was averse to all s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/19 04:05 PM
2

Sometimes, you need to be firm about things you need quickly. For example, you needed your sunglasses fixed pronto. When he offered,the ideal response is, "I know you are so busy, but would you have time to do it tonight? Otherwise I can take them to the repair store tomorrow morning, because I will need them by Wednesday." If the time limit comes and goes, do as you say and take it to the repair shop without any comments. No passive aggressive digs, just get it fixed and that's the end of that.…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/19 12:09 AM
8

The most important thing you can do is model a healthy and happy dynamic with your wife. Girls want to be with good men when they see their mother is genuinely happy with a good man. When they see their father as a good man and they see their mother seem discontent, they fear that a good and decent man won't make them happy either. Then they will want to explore other options like the proverbial bad boys, casual relationships, etc. They will see your marriage as the end product of the values you…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/19 12:01 AM
6

It sounds like you are from a more traditional culture. If you plan to date outside your ethnic/cultural group at all, it is time to move out. If your parents have N traits, they will naturally throw a fit because they will lose the control they thrive off of. Stand your ground. Have firm boundaries. They will get over it with time.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/19 06:12 PM
3

Read the community info and wiki. It is all laid out for you already. https://www.reddit.com/r/redpillwomen/about
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/19 03:33 AM
17

Take what you want and leave the rest. RP is a toolbox. Much of the advice here is geared toward heterosexual relationships, so as a woman hoping to marry another woman, you will especially need to be able to discern what is relevant for you or not.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/19 02:51 PM
7

Work cultures vary office to office, field to field. If it is a more conservative culture, braless may be a risky choice. Legally, no one can tell you to put a bra on.. but behind closed doors, they can think of you as out-of-step (or many worse things) which can impact your ability to grow there. However, bras should not hurt you. If they do, your bra is very improperly fitted. If you feel your work culture won't be compatible with a no bra look, you can still be pain free. Get fitted!
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/19 11:37 PM
36

You seem to be in a bit of a catch 22, because you have automatically written off almost all the young men in your life! This is going to show in your face and demeanor, no matter how well you think you are masking it.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/19 03:20 AM
14

Aha, okay, this is very possibly it. Respectable young men almost never approach a woman unless they have an inkling she would appreciate it, an "indicator of interest" from her. Eye contact, a smile, etc. If you're not interested in them or attracted to them, it's going to show!
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/19 03:15 AM
71

One possible explanation is that your SMV compared to your age group is (relatively) low. Therefore, young men who pique the interest of plenty of other attractive young women are not going to pursue you. However, youth has a fresh beauty all of it's own. Older men appreciate that because they don't see it as often, so they shoot their shot and ask you out. Another possibility is that you project a lack of confidence, be it by your facial expression, dress, or posture. Unfortunstely, some more p…
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/19 11:13 PM
5

I might be an odd RPW out but I am not here for anti-trans rhetoric. Trans people are such a small minority that they can not threaten women or femininity... and I don't believe there is anything threatening about their existence, anyways. The strength of your own self/gender identity should be great enough to withstand the mere existence of those that fall well outside of it. That aside, plastoc pads are garbage. They're awful of the environment, they're awful for your vagina. Dump the product.…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/19 04:16 AM
1

What happens if you validate him rather than try to offer suggestions? Like, if he whines he hasn't slept well, instead of suggesting something that can help with sleep, saying "It must be hard to get things done while sleep deprived, but I am impressed by your efforts to power through it".
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/19 09:22 PM
12

I don't think it is wise to become his mistress, if it is a personal question, because then you deny yourself the opportunity to be a full wife. Don't settle for scraps when you offer more than the woman already at the table. Move on. Also, it's the biblical man's role to lead his wife. If she doesn't have the knowledge of how to be a good support, it is his job to guide her there. Simply outsourcing the task is shirking his duty. Just as Christ didn't dump his followers for saintly ones but ins…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/19 04:08 PM
1

Follow your gut instinct to stop dating for now and buckle down into nun mode. You need some time to recalibrate your values. A man who has no job is not "captain material" for anyone. A man who does not desire to commit to you in half a decade is absolutely not "captain material" for you. Until you build your self esteem up and guard your space/time more, you're going to keep running into people who will waste your time.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/19 01:58 AM
3

He sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it, too. You can't pull this off with everyone- most women would, say, be suspicious if nothing they tagged him in showed up on his wall. Predatory men specialize in finding that girl, and test the water with others later. You weren't that girl, and that is the best outcome for you!
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/19 09:44 AM
11

Hang on. Even if mom is a drug addled mess, why is this man not taking care of HIS children? Why are they with grandma? This is an enormous red flag of a man not worthy of respect or submission, to me. How can you pursue a biblical marriage with a man who does not honor his most sacred, biblical obligation to his children? He isn't there to raise them and he does not even feel any spiritual pressure to provide for them?! He won't offer any money to grandma unless legally forced, and he avoids an…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/19 11:55 PM
6

The Middle East is a region where you have secular modern cities where women have rights and respect, all the way down to fundamentalist villages where they are treated like chattel. IMO, it is only RP if you see women submitting to men who cherish, protect, and lead. If they are domineering, or if they do not value their partner, or if they are abusive, it isn't RP. I think many traditionally patriarchal cultures can get entitled over time, where men expect submission for having XY chromosomes …
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/19 11:48 PM
18

I am so sorry you missed out on learning these things in a loving home environment. It is time to take some responsibility, though - you've been away from your mom for about a decade if you went to college at the typical American 18. You've had ten years to seek knowledge. The first thing your boyfriend will need to hear, in order to take you seriously, is an acknowledgement that you had not taken ownership of your learning and you are sorry for placing an undue burden on him - but that you are …
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/19 11:32 PM
7

Physical components of RBF: -Very arched brows. You can subtly change their shape to make them less sharply angled. -Tired eyes: Eye drops help a lot. If wearing eyeliner, wear it thicker at the outer edge of your lid and use a small wing to raise the profile of your eyes if droopy. Put a bit of highlight at your tear duct. -Lips that point down: You can use lip liner to subtly add a small tilt up. Be careful, don't make yourself the Joker- but this can make a big difference. If it is of interes…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/19 06:36 PM
1

It sounds like you have an "avoidant attachment style" - as soon as you feel secure that someone is yours, it devalues them in your eyes. Consider reading up on this style and seeing if it rings true for you... this is a pattern you can break! However, you don't need to date or submit, or any of these things. RPW is a path to getting what you want, if what you want is a family life. No is is saying you must date or marry, if it does not bring you joy.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 04:56 PM
1

That is an interesting opinion. Why do you say that? I am a bisexual woman and always swiped left on people without body shots, because it tended to mean they were hiding being out of shape!
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 03:16 PM
7

I am absolutely NOT saying any of this is your fault, but do you have timid or slouched posture? Forward head position? Rounded shoulders? I have noticed predatory type men look for certain signs of perceived "weakness" they can exploit... nervous body language is a big one there. I noticed this when travelling in developing nations - walking with "BDE" meant I was left alone, but my casual posture (I try not to but boy, I am a sloucher) seemed to just bring all the creeps to the yard.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 03:20 AM
21

The best gestures are based in his wants and needs. Pay attention to his habits, what he enjoys. I know it's not an easy list but men are all so different. One might enjoy a dirty note with his packed lunch. Another might find it mortifying! My partner said one morning that he really wanted a place to hang his keys. He came home to a key hanger on the wall next to the counter, which is where he habitually leaves his keys when he comes home. He said that made him feel very cared for. Things like …
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 03:14 AM
5

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty is part of their sidebar but not a book written for men. In fact, it has great advice for women as well, and has great child psych in it too. I highly reccomend it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/19 12:21 AM
6

This is all so dependant on your chemistry. If the sparks are flying on a first date, something may be welcomed which would otherwise be seen as tone-deaf on a date that is just okay. Trust your gut. If you feel uncomfortable, you can end the date at any time. The world is full of wonderful men so there is no need to waste time on those who make you uncomfortable. If this is happening a lot, though, consider how you might be able to vet against this. Do you see a pattern in the men who do this?
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 10:53 PM
1

Yes, I think it is one of those strategies that quickly sifts for like-minded people! I hope this proves true for you too.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 10:45 PM
1

RP is a sexual strategy that can be applied by anyone. There is no specific RP hobby or locale. You are as likely to find her at a swing dance class as a rock climbing crag, a book club, a shooting range or, hell, a talk on Himalayan fire-juggling snow monkeys. Go live your life, meet people doing the same things you enjoy and vet them. There is no magic short cut.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 09:22 PM
1

I like nice things but do not have a Nice Things budget, so I am a big fan of poshmark!
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 06:31 PM
2

Would you mind summarizing your video points? I live out in the boonies and can't always load videos.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 06:29 PM
3

A while back, I listened to a podcast where they featured a woman who asked people to facetime with her before they go on a date. She didn't text them forever but got to the call fairly quickly. I wonder if this may be a worthwhile approach in lieu of texting? It saved her from going on first dates with men who fudged the truth by using photos that showed them younger, thinner, or with a fuller head of hair. Men talk about being catfished often, but I think we women hardly hold a monopoly on dis…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 06:27 PM
2

He thought he could enjoy single life and then come back to wifey. Now he realized he can't and is freaking out, trying any bargain to get you to stay. If you stay, rest assured that as soon as he thinks he has your commitment in the bag, these rumblings will come right back up. It may be in 6 months, or in 6 years after he's thoroughly used up your youth. Don't fall for it. RUN.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 03:10 AM
30

" We both know it would be the best relationship if he just had more exp with dating and understanding how well he has it (his words lol). " This is a child's fantasy. This is a sentence attempting to keep you on the hook, the back-burner. He regrets committing so soon, but he doesn't want the inherent instability and uncertainty of bachelorhood. Men who lack frame like this can never give you "the best relationship ever". They will always be in flux between what they want versus what is easy, a…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 06:23 PM
7

I think there is a simple premise. Women hate covert contracts. All humans do. We know it isn't really a gift but it has strings attached, and we wonder why we aren't loveable enough to do things for "just because". Men who make covert contracts resent when women don't follow what they see as "their end of the deal". They label us ungrateful. My partner does not do anything big for valentines day. But every year we print out sime photos to add to our album, we cuddle and love on each other, we b…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 12:30 AM
5

I think you should walk. A religious man who fills his void with work, rather than faith, is a big red flag that he is going to give you many of the common negatives of faith (ie sexual guilt, patriarchal attitudes that conveniently forget the part where he must serve you as Christ served the people)... but without the positives (a guiding and closer connection to God by living faithfully, a man comitted to being your rock and protector). In fact, his conversation with you has outlined all these…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 12:21 AM
23

I don't think we are going anywhere. TRP was given a heads up about their removal. We weren't, as far as I know, and many other male-oriented TRP-affiliated subs were not given notice.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 12:12 AM
3

Oh, no. We absolutely do not submit for the sake of submitting. When you vet properly for a man you love, respect, and trust, you will have selected a man who actively has the best interest of your family in mind with all decisions he makes. Knowing this, it is natural and easy to defer decisions to him because you are also acting in the best interest of your family. And guess what? What takes care of your family takes care of you AND vice versa. You can't pour from an empty cup. You always have…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/19 12:03 AM
5

Your self respect has nothing to do with feminism. Traditional wives who believe a woman flourishes in the home and thus choose to stay home, have healthy self respect. They respect and honor their beliefs about what is best for them by living their values. A feminist who believes having a career serves a woman best and thus has a career, also has self respect. She is doing what she feels is best for herself, just like the traditional wife. People with self respect do what they think will serve …
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/19 07:26 PM
1

Possible explanations: -You are a witch but your Hogwarts owl delivered the letter to the wrong address. -Your long coat and footwear provides enough warmth to compensate. -Uniqlo makes far superior tights to what I've been buying. -Ancient aliens. Personally leaning to the first. 😏
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/19 05:03 PM
7

You describe youreself as motherly and protective in several comments (assuming u/scaredadvice and u/canadian6267 are the same person, since they are writing like they are OP). Men don't want a protector, they want to be the protector. Men don't want a mother who nurtures their best, they want a woman who inspires their best. If you mother a man, you don't make him feel respected and admired - you make him feel like a child. He needs to feel your admiration and respect and trust in order for him…
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/19 04:58 PM
3

I think you should change your title's wording. We don't tend to sleep with our brothers and sisters, so writing "little sister zone" is going to get you advice that only makes sense in the context of the men being uninterested in you sexually.
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/19 04:50 PM
3

It sounds like there are two things here. Anxiety and over-interaction. First, you may rely on him too heavily for anxiety support. What are your anxiety triggers? What are you doing to treat your anxiety? Do you have many self soothing behaviors in your repertoire? How often do you look to him for comfort? Second, maybe he feels smothered when you "tell him my every move". Do you really update him on all your mundane, day to day actions? If so, why?
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 06:54 PM
1

You've posted this twice in a row, under different accounts.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/19 11:15 PM
1

If that works for you, more power to you - I am jealous as heck! Fleece tights just don't keep me as warm as I'd like.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/19 10:58 PM
14

Pants are not inherently un-feminine. I know some posters here are somehow warm in a dress and tights, but this barely keeps me going in the fall -- let alone winter. Try wear some warm skinny jeans over thermals, tucked into feminine boots. Pair with a long coat like a peacoat with a structured waist, or a moto jacket with a cowl neck sweater layered underneath (similar look to wearing a scarf), or whatever else is your style. I am a big fan of the Sorrel wedge boots. They are a really expensiv…
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/19 02:35 AM
1

Better, because he didn't sail back to Europe 😏
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/19 11:30 PM
3

If you and a man decide to be exclusive (as in, you spoke about it and aren't making assumptions), using a dating app is a form of cheating. It's way, way too soon to be forgiving a cheater. When men want to plate girls who are interested in relationships, they ask to see where things go or claim they want to move slow (except in the bedroom). You can stay with him if you want to be a plate, but know that is 100% what you'll be.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/19 08:58 PM
3

I'm not OP, but tinted suncreen, mascara, matte lip, and a high ponytail takes about 10 minutes for me.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/19 08:40 PM
5

Surrendered Wife puts a huge emphasis on self care, especially the part where she teaches women to use the self protecting phrase "I can't" instead of over committing and exhausting themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/19 01:18 AM
1

Hang on, let me get this straight. You came to a forum for women, to ask men a question about their approach to life and masculinity? Am I reading this correctly?
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 05:26 AM
0

"For Men Only" is a great start.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 02:09 AM
1

"The thought of dating makes me very uncomfortable now. The thought of kissing someone seems disgusting. The thought of having sex makes me want to vomit." This doesn't sound like healing or readiness to date, at all. I don't mean to discredit the work you've done in this year of nun mode but if the idea of a date is so bad that you can't eat for two days, it is not yet time to date. It is one thing if dating makes your stomach flutter with anticipation.... This is something else entirely. Your …
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 02:05 AM
5

"The thought of dating makes me very uncomfortable now. The thought of kissing someone seems disgusting. The thought of having sex makes me want to vomit." This doesn't sound like healing or readiness to date, at all. I don't mean to discredit the work you've done in this year of nun mode but if the idea of a date is so bad that you can't eat for two days, it is not yet time to date. It is one thing if dating makes your stomach flutter with anticipation.... This is something else entirely. Your …
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/19 02:03 AM
7

This post kinda struck a nerve with me because 21 year old me could have written a pretty close parallel. My partner dropped out of school and didn't work for a year and half, and at first I chalked it up to his dyslexia and academic struggles. I thought, oh but he's so sweet and caring and loyal. Well duh he was, I was paying the rent. When I asked for him to move home because I didn't think this environment was good for him since he was struggling to get himself to work or rejoin school, that …
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/19 11:24 PM
1

You're letting a fun little fantasy get absurdly out of hand. You get over it by refusing to entertain thoughts about him. Every time it comes up in your mind, tell yourself, "I don't know if I'll ever see him again. If I do, I'll say hi. Until then, there's no point thinking about it." No day dreams. No what-ifs. Nothing. No planning your conversation. Just repeat it like a mantra. The thoughts will slowly ebb away. It also sounds like you might be ovulating, so your body is urging you to go fi…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/19 08:03 PM
18

Of COURSE he is going to be loyal to his meal ticket. Loyalty from someone who depends on your contribution for housing and to get to/from work is just common sense pragmatic behavior, not any show of great love. You sound like you are hanging on to him because you fear you are weird and unlovable, so no other man will be interested in you. How about you work on yourself so you don't feel like you're an unpalatable person, instead? People who are saying he is a young man waiting to get his strid…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/19 07:53 PM
24

Men notice if you look attractive. But on the whole, they have very little understanding of what components of your presentation are attracting them. If I had a dollar for every man who told me he liked women like me that don't wear makeup, while I was rocking a 10+ product natural look... 🙄 They may not be able to articulate "those layered waves really flatter your cheekbones, making you look young and healthy". But they see flattering hair and they appreciate it. A casual, messy bun can flatte…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 06:56 PM
5

I am in a few women's groups I love. One is a geology/paleontology group. We go on a collecting field trip once a month. I am also part of an online women's foraging group. We often send each other materials, ie if I need orange lobster mushrooms for dye from Washington and someone wants cactus apples from me down south. It is a really lovely way to make friends and penpals.
/r/RedPillWives18/09/19 05:29 PM
3

One thing people aren't talking about here but that you really need to consider is your work culture. Is your new look keeping you in line with your work culture? In some offices and fields, sticking out in this way can be very beneficial. In others, it can make people really question you and hold you back. It is a frustrating and unfair reality.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 04:49 PM
1

Where in the Bristol Bay loving fuck are you finding cheap salmon??? Share your secrets!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/19 04:31 AM
2

I live in a "tiny house" and looove clothes. Here is what I do. I maximize my storage space. I have a bed that sits on pull-out drawers, and a couch that does the same. Under couch storage is devoted to shoes and under bed storage is for out of season clothes and niche use clothes that don't come out often (nice wedding guest dress, mountaineering items, etc). I store off season clothes in compression sacks. They need a steam after they come out, but you can get a shocking quantity of air out of…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 05:32 PM
19

He's not your boyfriend, so stop mentally framing him as if he is. He is a man you've known for 2 weeks, and been on a few dates with. You're not exclusive. If a man wants to see you, he will ask to see you. Since you went to him for the first dates, it's important that you give him the space to initiate a date and come to see you for it. Wish him a great visit with his sister and leave it be.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 05:23 PM
1

I read that part of your last comment to me as asking if I thought she was or wasn't being fair - sorry if you felt I was reading too far into it in answering literally. To keep being far too literal, though, your original wording sounded like you felt she was being unfair. Again, you can't make someone be fair to their spouse... You can only accept them as they are, or reconsider their role in your life. Not saying you need to reconsider, just that those really are the only options for sanity.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 02:37 AM
16

I love that you sit in pretty much a bowl of oatmeal.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 12:43 AM
72

You're not afraid of high value. You are afraid of your own low value. Until you fix your self esteem issues- your inherent belief that you are low value- your brain will be suspicious of high value men. If you believe a deal is too good to be true, the logical behavior is to look for the scam or the "catch" behind it. As long as you see yourself as low value, you'll treat high value men like "too good to be true" deals rather than a fair deal compared to what you're bringing. Self esteem comes …
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 12:26 AM
2

Frankly, dead bedrooms are too complex to diagnose or remark upon from a two sentence summary. It's rarely as simple as one mate being a perfect martyr who fulfills all their obligations and is the victim of a hateful, frigid spouse. I bet they have an abundance of unfairness that goes around to each of them. Who knows how it started? And who cares? If your friend isn't comitted to doing her share, there's nothing you can do about it except reconsider having someone like that in your life.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/19 12:18 AM
1

High value men have never given commitment easily, so there really is no "we now have to work for it". It's always been that way.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/19 06:53 PM
3

We met in the wilderness on a long trail. I was spooked by an animal and perched on a rock when he found me. 500 miles later, we decided to call that our first date. 4,500 miles later, we are engaged!
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/19 03:19 AM
2

I post here pretty regularly and I am struggling to think of a conversation had here where a whole group of women decided it was no big deal for husbands to step out on their vows. Can you clarify what you mean?
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/19 12:22 AM
5

We are seeking marriage or commitment monogamously, aka we are asking them to put their instinctive polygamy aside.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/19 11:39 PM
2

It's really hard to give advice here because we have no idea what you're fighting about, how you bring it up, and so on. Is he telling you to leave because you don't like how he leave dishes around, or you dont like his career, or you don't like how he speaks to you? In some cases his response could be very reasonable, but abusive in others! My vague, generic answer is to read the sidebar books like Surrendered Wife, For Women Only, and Fascinating Womanhood, in order to better identify what sor…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/19 09:59 PM
2

Everything has fashion trends, from body shape to eyebrow shape. It's rarely indicative of deep-sea value shifts... rather, usually a reflection of what's trending in media, which celebrities are in, etc. Whatever comes in style will see people modifying toward it. In the 90s it was thin brows, rectangle lean body, breast augmentation. Today it's a fuller brow, lip fillers and hip/butt fillers. No matter the tend, someone will come up with an evopsych argument that XYZ is fertile and is attracti…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/19 04:26 PM
10

Are you otherwise attracted to him? Not in an objective "I can see you are handsome" way but a carnal "you smell good to me and I want to touch you now" way. Because if that is there, the height will rapidly be a non-issue if you fall in love. If the raw attraction chemistry isn't there, you may find it bothers you down the line and you really have to work on yourself to make it a non-issue. You can still do it but it takes more effort. Keep vetting and see how it goes. Attraction has a base spa…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/19 04:20 PM
7

Yeah, if RPW were the mirror image of TRP, the ratio of traditional "gold digger" and widow-of-third-billionaire-who-died-mysteriously types would be far higher here. Still, I am so glad for the kind of community which actually formed here instead.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/19 11:38 PM
12

The theoretical equivalent here would be a woman who is able to extract resources out of many men without giving them her full and exclusive sexuality. Just as the alpha male breadcrumbs commitment, she breadcrumbs sexuality. However, just like plate spinning, this can be fun but is rarely fulfilling for long.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/19 04:42 PM
12

An important part of femininity is authenticity to your own self. There are many women who have a very feminine manner and appearance with a darker aeshetic - Amy Lee, Dita von Teese, and so on. You don't need to pull a 180 to cultivate your own femininity.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 07:14 PM
3

Why do you feel like your husband/father of your children is incapable of handling the household for a day or few? That sounds like a very difficult, stressful and exhausting dynamic for you - and your post absolutely sounds like you resent it (as the original post suggests).
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/19 06:44 PM
2

Many women do literally do starve themselves to lose weight - eating disorders don't care if your goal weight is unrealistic.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/19 04:27 AM
13

It depends on your starting weight. If you're 600 lbs, you can drop a lot of water weight quickly... If youre 160, this is a dangerous quantity to lose in that time span... it will affect your skin but also mess with hormones (production is regulated in part by your fat).
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/19 12:52 PM
2

I got some news for you about the hours firefighters put in....
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/19 11:28 PM
1

I have a pet theory from watching the wives of wealthy men at fundraiser dinner/donor courting type events... The women who married a broke young guy as a broke young gal and now the couple is successful, are generally pretty humble. However, men who marry after getting rich or who were born into wealth, tend to have brattier wives. And these women are the wives for exactly that reason. Often these women give the men more room to "chase" them. A lot of women from modest backgrounds are so floore…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/19 11:24 PM
2

At work, you are paid to solve problems. It's literally your job. However, couching your answer with validation is incredibly helpful, especially in a customer facing role. If you get called because some deep learning software is missing obvious things, starting off with "oh wow, I can imagine the burden this must be placing on your fast paced office. Let's get to the bottom of this" will make your client way happier than, "oh, it isn't working right? Okay, have you done x?"
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 11:15 PM
8

Great job! Your comment gave him several things that men crave: Validation. You acknowledged his problem/frustration. We all want to feel seen. Admiration. You acknowledged that he was intelligent. Respect. You didn't act like he needed your advice. It is disrespectful to give unsolicited advice. Instead, you respected his real need, which was to be heard. The formula for listening to a man vent (that you care about) is, provide validation + admiration, avoid disrespect.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 11:10 PM
5

I wish I had allowed myself to be honest rather than "idealistic". In my heart, I always wanted a man that lead, but I lacked the language to articulate it. If I could go back and give myself the books that let me put words to my wants, oh, I think I would have saved myself a lot of grief. I was in several relationships where I was the lead because I was controlling; but I was controlling because I would leave windows for my partners to lead and they would let me down. I wish I had had the wisdo…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 10:59 PM
14

I think this study should be called "men prefer 6s to 4s". To my eye (as a woman), she looks far more attractive as a blonde... but I don't think it is a function of the blonde alone so much as the blonde with her skin tone and features. Let's break it down. She is average looking with dark hair, but it does her a couple disservices. I say none of this below to try to make the author look bad or be mean toward her looks, but just so we can break down why the blonde look favors her. First, the da…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 01:10 AM
2

Why not give it a try? If you try and find it isn't for you, you'll still have developed good fitness habits and practiced self improvement skills.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/19 10:48 PM
9

If an ugly and broke guy would rather be single than date an average girl, that's his right. If OP would rather be single in her 40s than date a man she perceives as a low beta, that's her right. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with people choosing not to date, if they aren't interested in what's available for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/19 07:27 PM
2

Oh, I thought you were roasting me for answering too literally! :p
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/19 10:27 PM
2

I clearly don't know how to have a philosophical discussion!
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/19 06:10 PM
8

Do you like oatmeal? Overnight oats sound perfect for you. Prep in the evening in a mason jar, in the morning grab a spoon and your jar and head out the door. You could also make smoothies for several days at once and have them ready for yourself. I mostly eat cereal and yogurt for breakfast, but I have a very carb heavy runner's diet.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 06:05 PM
1

I thought everyone was fundamentally the same in thought process and desires, that the differences between people were chalked up to different experiences, individual preferences, etc. It led to some very frustrating misunderstandings in my early relationships. In summary, I treated others as I wanted to be treated (golden rule) rather than following the platinum rule: treat others as they want to be treated.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 06:01 PM
10

It needs to be explicit, in a way which you find acceptable. Be it verbal, a legal contract, a religious rite, what have you. Never hand yourself over on a silver platter by assuming you are a couple, or hoping that acting like a girlfriend will somehow slide you into that role. This strategy is the absolute bread and butter for men who spin plates.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/19 09:13 PM
22

I am not a mother but one thing I'd like to suggest, based in watching my friends struggle here, is to try to avoid perfectionist thinking and making comparisons to others. You're going to make some mistakes and it will not be the end of the world. No one can do everything textbook perfect so don't run yourself ragged trying. Everyone's pregnancy is different. For some, running a marathon is feasible. For some, going up the stairs isn't. Try your best to be at peace with whichever reality your p…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/19 10:43 PM
2

I quickly browsed your recent post history, which doesn't appear to reflect any activity in the male rp community - just a lot on r/dating. Are you active on the men's rp subs?
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/19 06:06 PM
10

Bring him the problem, not the solution. Wait until you're seriously at the stage of moving in, though. Explain that you respect his home as it is, especially as a hars working single dad... but that you need your personal home to be at a certain level of organization or else it causes you to feel stressed/anxious/etc. So, if you make it your home, you want to know how he'd like to handle it going forward. Make sure you communicate your willingness to be part of the solution, but don't be the so…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/19 05:52 PM
19

He's never had his own place, it sounds like. For him, this is a step toward becoming a fully independent man. If you interfere here, you rob him of this. He wants to see how his own home turns out. There will be decades for him to live in your shared home. Let him flesh it out fully, as he likes. If you feel the space doesn't accomodate you as much as you like, you're spending too much of your time in his home. Maybe you two need some evenings out, or evenings apart! Even if he's inviting you e…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/19 01:09 AM
3

I think your mentor is right, you shouldn't be seeking to date right now. Sort out how you feel about faith. This may be a time to explore other faiths or churches to see if anything rings true. You don't want to get in a relationship with a man who values faith highly and find out you don't believe. If you're waiting for marriage, dating religious men seems like your most realistic option, so it really behooves you to find a church you have full faith in and feel good about.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 08:18 PM
2

Look up Promise Tamang Phan... She's a makeup artist who is of Nepalese heritage but has convincingly put on looks that turned her into Megan Fox and Drake. Hair and makeup can absolutely transform your look. And remember, you can find a wonderful man who isn't a perfect ten physically, and have a 10/10 life.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 08:09 PM
6

I only made it through half of your video. Your voice is so soothing, it was counteracting my coffee! So my comment may address things you covered but I missed. I enjoyed that you challenged us not to say "I deserve better". Since I changed my mindset to "I can not believe my good fortune", life has changed so much. When you choose a spouse, you are choosing to celebrate this person and raise them up. When both parties do this, it creates amazing things. Vetting is so so so important here: you c…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 08:06 PM
5

That is a weird takeaway for both of you. In that situation, he prioritized safety over aesthetics. He probably felt a gut instinct that you shouldn't be behind a truck dumping stuff in a blizzard. Reasonable thought. In the moment, you chose not to make a stressful situation more stressful by trusting his judgement. Reasonable thought. You were both trying to protect each other. Plus now you're getting the paint to touch it up, so in the end your rig won't look any worse off. You both were unhu…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 07:57 PM
4

You're getting downvoted because it sounds like you're asking this question in bad faith. If you truly want to know what participants of this sub feel their men deserve, you only need to click our sidebar/community info or spend some time reading other posts.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 01:36 AM
3

Thank you for the stars!! :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:39 PM
6

Around that age, I remember really enjoying Frog & Toad books. The Ramona Quimby books are great too - really anything by Beverly Cleary.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 10:37 PM
8

A wedding ring doesn't transform a person. It may change where certain boundaries lie, but small things like putting an Ikea bed together aren't on the marriage side of the boundary line for most people. If he doesn't do "typical boyfriend things" now, it makes no sense to expect them to appear once he's a husband.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 02:00 PM
2

Well, what do you think drives you to be a workaholic? That's something to explore and unpack. Some people work hard out of passion and love, but most are avoiding something or compensating for something.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 11:26 AM
1

I am proud of you! I hope you feel proud of yourself too. The right thing to do isn't always the easiest thing to do. You took the hard step in order to honor yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 03:24 AM
3

Some folks are naturally wise... but most of us swim upstream to learn a better nature! It sounds like you've found a rhythm that works well for you both.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 03:19 AM
5

You need to decide what matters more to you: ego or family. It is ego that drives you to do whatever makes you seem like the best of the bunch, rather than what is best for you/your goals. Maybe also be honest with yourself about your priorities. You've poured years of labor toward becoming a top doctor. How much do you really want to be a SAHM wife/mother? One's actions are far more telling about their desires than their words.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 02:57 AM
6

Probation? Cut the scoundrel loose! This isn't a good dynamic. I can almost imagine this post showing up on askTRP from a young man going rambo: "demoted LTR to plate for disrespecting me". This fight sounds like a proxy war. Although men value beautiful hair very much, no man worth his salt is going to reconsider a relationship with a woman he loves over dye jobs. This is about a more general sense of disrespect in the relationship that is angering him. This is just the proverbial last straw. Y…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 02:49 AM
38

Remember that you are also vetting him. He's showing you the kind of husband he will be. If having a partner who is invested in playing a protector/provider role is important to you, it's a bad idea to marry a man who doesn't have this attitude. However, I will say that I don't think you should run away screaming just yet. If you're incredibly independent, as you describe yourself, he probably doesn't perceive you as having these desires. It doesn't sound like you're fully inhabiting a feminine …
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/19 02:39 AM
2

What do you do during your ride home at present, and how does he seem to react to it?
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 03:08 AM
4

Since you're the one coming home, we can flip the Qs - do you feel your "coming home needs" are met? What are they? Does your partner do anything to switch from work mode to home mode, since they both happen in the same location? I agree that many people fail to communicate all their needs. I'd also argue that the vast majority of people don't have a full picture of all their needs at all times, so it can be hard to articulate needs we don't fully understand. Having a partner who proactively tri…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 05:52 PM
1

Sounds like you're spending more than your 40 dollars a week raise just getting to/from work, in terms of gas/lyft fees and time. Ask if you can go back to your old job or location, and explain the commute doesn't make financial sense. It may not be possible for you now to do this, but it's worth a try before you start job hunting. Depending on the local job market, I may even leave before getting a new job as this one seems disastrous to your mental health. In the future, crunch numbers like th…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 05:42 PM
3

You don't need to be sweet or soft to be feminine. Femininity is a transformative quality - most anything can be done femininely. For me, personally, femininity isn't long hair, makeup, and so on but rather femininity is rooted in guiding principles of service, nurturing, and loving. I work in a semi- law enforcement role right now. It's not my main job but part of it. When I write a ticket at work, you would not believe how many people thank me at the end of the interaction. I do my job from a …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 05:37 PM
4

I really love reading your comments - you have such a high powered type job but still manage to be present at home and not bring it back with you. Would you ever consider a post on how you manage this so well?
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 05:22 PM
3

It sounds like you're really thoughtful about your relationship, so I bet it won't be hard for you to come up with great compliments that will build him up. You can start a wonderful positive-feedback loop in your relationship by expressing more admiration and appreciation. Maybe write us a field report after you've tried it out for a bit!
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 03:46 AM
7

I'm not familiar with that clipping, though I'd love to read it. This post is a mix of what I've gleaned from some of my favorite RPW books: "For Women Only" and "Fascinating Womanhood" ... as well as my own personal blunders. I was guilty of doing what your mom does, to the tee.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 03:36 AM
10

Our "coming home" needs are different than men's. We all need to decompress but I find the process of decompressing looks different for the sexes. It sounds like your husband knows well how to meet that need for you! I can't agree enough about the yoga and meditation. I think all people who have bodies should be doing yoga, and all people with minds ought meditate.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 03:29 AM
9

Daily love rituals are so important. Every morning, we have "a coffee date" - it is our daily love ritual. I think I'll have to incorporate this long kiss into our dates, since it's often just a peck before dashing to work for me.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 03:23 AM
6

This particular advice probably won't apply for a brand new relationship, but you should read our RPW reccomended books! I have a list of my personal recs compiled on my profile, and the official RPW reading list is on our sidebar/community info tab. They'll get you off to a great start.
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 03:18 AM
3

You know, I had a DB relationship with a boy I dated when I was 19-22. He was 4 years older than me, so 23-26. I am now the same age as he was when I left him, and I sometimes stop to marvel at how different my life is. When we first started dating, we were mountaineering partners. We hiked the 220 mile JMT together. Then, he chose to travel with me while I studied in a field that facilitated moving often. He wasn't able to really figure out school or work in the 3-6 month increments we were in …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 03:11 AM
2

I came here to say Ma Ingalls too!
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 12:19 AM
1

I recommend looking up developmental milestones for different ages... I didn't know anything about kids whenI began as an educator and that was tough. But learning about these made it so so much easier to meet kids where they are. For example, toddlers lack object permanence - if something goes out of sight, they aren't entirely sure it is still there behind whatever is hiding it. Therefor they love games like peekaboo and (gentle) got-your-nose, because it gives them a jolt of excitement to dis…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 12:00 AM
8

Can you clarify some things? Your post makes it seem like you've been dating for years and live together, but then this comment makes it sound like you've never agreed to be exclusive. You can't be "pretty exclusive" - the entire nature of the word means you either are or aren't.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 11:55 PM
7

Unless you intend to meditate on a mountaintop in search of enlightenment, being a "hermit" is not a good thing. This reads to me like you have a man who loves you, trusts you, and wants to see you blossom. In order to have a rich and fulfilling life, most people need friends, hobbies, passions, all those things that flesh out their lives. It sounds like you lack those things, and so you lean heavily on him for attention and company. This is not to say that you shouldn't expect those things from…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/19 11:43 PM
3

I am a a bisexual woman who seems to fit the pattern you wrote about, but I perceive it a little differently. When I was in college, I dated women because there was a queer community. But it was hard because I am very "femme"/lipstick/whatever the kids call it these days... but also only interested in very femme women. So outside of a queer space, it's kinda hard to know who I can approach (and I present the exact same problem for other women). However, I didn't disparage men and especially not …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/19 06:59 PM
11

Here are a few exercises. These things helped me a lot when I was 16 and recovering from an eating disorder in the hospital. -When you catch yourself in negative self talk, ask yourself if you would EVER speak to your best friend in that manner. then apologize to yourself. I know it sounds hokey, but it does help. -Imagine yourself as a kid. Ask yourself what that girl deserves when she grows up. Give her that... you are the only one who can. -Remind yourself that one true test of your character…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 04:04 AM
3

I think it helps a lot to give the person the benefit of the doubt. In these inconsequential little interactions, always assume the best of them... even if you suspect it may not be true. You will always come off looking classy and generous this way. For example, consider that she didn't greet you equally because she felt awkward. She knows your partner but not you. Give her some grace - introduce yourself kindly and warmly, if your partner hasn't already. Or if he has introduced you, take that …
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/19 03:20 AM
6

I think you and your wife have identified the wrong problem. It is not for either of you to fix your SIL. You don't need to allow her to be a drain on your marriage until you find a way to fix her. Your job, as a couple, is to set healthy boundaries with SIL about how much attention she can expect. And stick to them.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/19 05:47 PM
6

There isn't one cut and dry answer. As you get older, unless you exercise regularly and do it well, you lose muscle mass. If you eat the same 1500 calories daily while your base metabolic rate lowers, you put on weight. 1 in 5 American women take an antidepressant or other mental health medication, many of which cause weight gain. Many other medications can also cause weight gain as a side effect, such as hormonal birth control. Tying in with mental health, 1 in 4 American women exhibit some kin…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/19 01:48 AM
1

I really like the audiobook "Mating in Captivity" because it is narrated by the author, Esther Perell.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/19 11:04 PM
3

Love this endorsement!
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/19 04:34 PM
16

Here's my personal reading list, copied from an old post of mine - link doesn't seem to load when I paste it. Maybe a mobile browser error? Some of these books are on our sidebar list but not all are. 1) How To Talk To Anyone - Leil Lowndes. This book is packed full of concise, actionable advice to become a strong conversationalist. Instead of vague advice like "be engaged", she gives you questions you can ask to show you're engaged. (2) When I Say No, I Feel Guilty - Manuel Smith ("WISNIFG") Th…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/19 02:23 AM
11

This sounds kinda condescending and adversarial, as if he is too stupid to figure out on his own that some people think birthdays are special... just because he hasn't yet figured out his partner is one of those people. An "I statement" would be much more pleasant and effective, I think. "Birthdays are very special to me, so I would love to spend that evening celebrating with you."
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/19 02:19 AM
36

"I just gently reminded him that I am a very understanding person who doesn't expect a lot so we could even go to dinner after training, he didn't have to pay for it all, etc." Nope, nope, nope. While we stress not to be entitled, it actively harms your relationship when you aren't forthcoming with your desires and feelings. When you let your partner know what you want without qualifications or minimization, it allows him to feel good for taking care of you and bask in your joy & gratitude. You …
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/19 02:10 AM
3

My comment on your OP: "How old are you? A relationship of years that leads to a "break", rather than marriage, does not sound like a good investment of your time. Come back sober and let us know what you're really working through." I read you as uninterested in RPW because "breaks" in a relationship aren't very traditional, and so I saw your relationship as one that didn't quite follow such a route. That last sentence from my comment on your OP is what I want answered. What's going on with you?…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 01:23 AM
2

Why are you posting here? You didn't reply to posts on your OP, you don't seem interested in RPW goals or behavior. What do you need that you are hoping we can provide you?
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 12:37 AM
2

Never bring it up in an attempt to make him feel better. Imagine if he reassured you, apropos of nothing, that he found your cellulite not to be a big deal. How would you feel? If nothing else, it would feel weird. If it doesn't matter to you, behave that way by paying it no mind. Trust that he is wise enough with his finances that he is spending within his means and comfort (and if you don't trust, explore this further since failing to vet for bad financial habits can make for a painful life!) …
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 12:31 AM
1

No shame in staying for school. When she starts harping, think about your escape plan as a way to insulate yourself from her.
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/19 12:10 PM
2

Of course, that's very normal. You put a lot of love into this person and I am sure you had good times together. Walking away isn't easy. But sometimes the thing that's best for you is not the easy one.
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/19 06:40 PM
3

I am personally of the opinion that it is better to live alone forever than to share your life with a man who has you walking on eggshells. It's highly unlikely that those are your only two options but even if they were, you'll have a richer and more joyful life without a man who makes you jumpy. If he creates feelings of tension in you like you had as a child, please know our brains often confuse "this is a familiar feeling as I got from family" and "this is love" even when the feeling in quest…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/19 03:44 PM
13

I personally believe that being a mama's boy is a terminal condition unless the man chooses, on his own, to do something about it. No woman can make him decide, no matter if she tries with honey or vinegar. Both he and his mother view you as a guest in the home and not a card-carrying stakeholder who gets a vote. They are a united front. Therefore, I think if you wish to be in a relationship with such a man, you must be willing to bend to the family dynamic where the mother is Queen Bee. She is …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/19 10:10 PM
1

The good news is that you're an adult now, so you can create a move-out plan and work at it. Doing so will make it easier to shake off your mother's discouragement, knowing you won't deal with it much longer. I had a mother that was very similar to yours... it was so painful as am adolescent with no way to escape it. No quantity of meditation, self acceptance, etc can substitute the sheer relief of removing yourself from that environment and that person. Take care of yourself and get out of ther…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/19 04:51 PM
28

If you want to avoid being a forever girlfriend, the most important thing you can do is vet for a man that isn't wishy washy or complacent, and a man that is marriage minded. Most women who end up forevergirlfriends wouldn't get commitment if they withdrew their wife benefits... they would get dumped, because the man valued the convenience they gave. That's what happens when you invest more than he does: he may keep you around just for the ease of it. However, most men will not outright ask you …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/19 01:18 AM
8

Although being in a one sided relationship isn't inherently anti-RPW, it's not a path that is typically serving the best interest of a woman. However, for him to disparage his other women as "toys" shows a core attitude toward women that is troubling. A man who speaks of women as objects can never truly honor you in a way that inspires him to cherish and protect you. You're feeling the effects of that now. If you want to build forward, ask him for monogamy to demonstrate his willingness to rebui…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/19 08:24 PM
2

My fiance builds our furniture, I sew the cushions and curtains. Our home looks distinctly ours. It's decorated with art purchased on our travels. If you marry, it's wonderful to have a home that is both your space... but most men care little about putting their mark on their homes. I have heard many frustrated women at the store trying to get an opinion out of a man who couldn't care either way about the tile or whatever. If your partner is like that, I think it's mpre respectful to accept that…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/19 10:52 PM
2

Stability was a big deal for me but income wasn't. My fiance is an intelligent man with an incredible work ethic. Right now, we are enjoying our youth and doing fun, fulfilling but lower paying work -- our investments bust their backs for us instead. We have had times in our relationship where we needed more money and in a span of weeks, he went out and secured a high paying job. I feel secure knowing that if there comes a time we want or need to change our lifestyle, we are able to do so. Seaso…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 05:48 PM
10

Is your username an Elliot Rodger reference? You are a reflection of what you feed yourself with, including what you feed your mind. If you focus on content like "femcels", you're putting in negative and painful ideas that will reflect in the way you think, speak, carry yourself. Healthy people will avoid this energy instinctively, but other unhealthy and/or predatory people are drawn to it. You need to rebuild your strength, faith in yourself and faith in others. Therapy can help. Fostering you…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/19 05:28 PM
5

Are you Desi too? "Love marriage" kinda caught my eye. Part of making the transition is trying to change your mindset. Every "chore" is an opportunity to express your love to him - after all, love is a verb. It's simple, but not easy. Try to find ways to also enjoy your work more. Listen and sing along to songs you love while you do dishes, or listen to audiobooks or podcasts. Watch a movie. Make sure you take time to do things you enjoy and take care of yourself, too. PS if we DO share a backgr…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/19 01:03 AM
2

Is your mother asking for your opinion or feedback? If not, I encourage you not to offer advice. Focus on your own betterment; the best examples are shown rather than told. It can be tricky giving advice to elders even when it is requested, as it's easy for them to dismiss any truths they are not open to.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/19 12:47 AM
3

So long as you treat their kindness as a gift, rather than something you are owed/entitled to, you won't come off spoiled. Draw boundaries where you feel they belong. Accept nothing that feels like a covert contract, and reject that which is inappropriate for the level of familiarity you have with the man.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 11:43 PM
2

Body language is huge here. There are ways your body says "go away" and ways it says "I am comfortable with you". To read more detailed stuff, a quick search for "open and closed body language" yields a lot. But in summary, if you slouch, cross your arms, furrow your brow, or hold tension in your shoulders or jaw, you read as unapproachable. In contrast, a neutral or slightly smiling face in approachable. If you subtly turn your torso toward people when sitting, you seem more approachable and le…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 06:50 PM
4

Alright, I will make my advice a little more explicit for you. Stop dating and enter nun mode to work on your insecurities because you can not attract a healthy, good man while wondering if you're Less Than.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 06:14 PM
1

Do you have an example of such a man? This seems it may be possible for the 10/10 face but I can't think of any such celebrities.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 06:08 PM
4

I actually do care about the women in this community, so I try to make sure I am giving them good advice if I venture to offer any. This includes a glance at post history.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 03:39 PM
3

If a man does not work out, nothing on him is par to the attractiveness of boobs. Breasts do a lot for the survival of your offspring. An unfit male does very little for the survival of your offspring and may even be an impediment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/19 04:16 AM
2

This is not just TRP male advice. We give it here at RPW too - do not overinvest in a man. If you do far more for him than he does for you, it destroys the chase and the pushpull of dating that is fun. If you do too much amd do it too soon, it makes your time and energy seem cheaply and easily had, rather than as a rare resource you choose to spend on him. If you follow his lead and invest at the rate he is investing, it motivates him to increase his own investment (aka phone time and other thin…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 04:05 AM
7

If I may be frank, your post history is all over the place. First you ask us if you should date a man you aren't even really interested in. Then you post elsewhere that you feel you are a 2 and subhuman for it. Now you're asking us what to do about the fact that you're a plate to a beta who responds best to nagging and controlling behavior. So long as you're mentally this unhealthy, you will be unable to attract a strong and healthy partner, because they will see you as a bundle of red flags.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 03:59 AM
15

Ruby, be careful! What if Dylan is like The Mask....? One day you won't be able to take it off, and you'll be forever stuck womanizing in college towns!
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 10:21 PM
2

It sounds a little like you've got two parallel desires. One is to not always lead in sex. The other is to get more validation/admiration/respect for the work you put in. You have tied them together so that when you have to take the active role in sex, you feel your other efforts are unappreciated. If you come to your wife with both of these desires still tangled up, she will naturally recoil. Women hate validation sex, because suddenly we are just a prop to the real experience... Your focus is …
/r/askMRP23/07/19 09:44 PM
22

In pregnancy, the most important RPW principles are those centered around feminine receiving- being grateful amd and gracious as you allow him to provide for you and protect you. Right now, you need to take good care of yourself, aka the feminine art of asking for what you need. When you ask for things in a way which demonstrates trust and respect, it brings him pleasure and honor to provide for you. You need him right now... Let him bask in that. It's okay not to be as strong right now. It's ok…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 09:28 PM
22

It may be a cultural thing too. I am 26 and went to school for a very blue collar subject (forestry/range/agriculture). Like u/hammocknapping, I was a little perplexed. Dylan doesn't ring a bell for me. But I asked some of my girlfriends from liberal arts majors at the same school & they howled with laughter at the description. I think that's the magic of satire though: absolutely hilarious if you can relate, maybe a head scratcher otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 09:21 PM
3

It sounds like you two have a massive disconnect. It doesn't sound like he wants you working and like he's frustrated you don't want to be a SAHM. He isn't happy with the role you're taking in the family, just as much as (if not far more than) you aren't happy with the way he is a father. You need to sort this out. Men need to feel accepted and admired to thrive in a relationship. When you're telling him he isn't doing fatherly things, you are doing the opposite of this. You love your husband, r…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 08:04 PM
9

If you're a fun person, you're fun on a free hike or a cheap coffee date. If you're boring, a three michelin star dinner won't help. Beta bux do not cash into alpha fucks...
/r/askTRP23/07/19 05:24 PM
76

You don't have to be brilliant to live a good life. Construction is a lucrative field where learning how to do a handful of things well will serve you for life. Being a waiter is not an easy job, and there is a lot to keep track of at all times. There is no shame in finding out that you're not skilled at that level of multitasking. It doesn't mean you are unintelligent.
/r/askTRP23/07/19 05:22 PM
3

Hi, welcome. If you're using the mobile app, go back to the main sub and click the three dots on the top right hand corner. You'll find community information there.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 04:34 PM
2

If you're boring, how is it a wonderful relationship for her? If she's bored but you're content & don't care, why should she stick around with you? If you want unconditional loyalty, get a dog.
/r/askTRP22/07/19 01:03 AM
1

Or are you now responsible to fix and prevent because you understand what would motivate such an action? Knowing bacteria cause illness (rather than evil ghosts) allows you to take preventative measures rather than throw up your hands in defeat after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/19 04:23 PM
8

Oh, that's very sweet! Please feel free to.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/19 03:30 AM
42

I didn't expect this level of wisdom from a warmongering dried grape but here we are! Judgement can deprive you of wisdom, opportunity, and joy. I especially like your emphasis that being nonjudgemental does not mean being undiscerning. You can decide someone does not behave in a way you want in your life, while still choosing to believe they are doing the best they can with their background, the knowledge they have, and so on.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 08:49 PM
15

You posted about nun mode 4 months ago here BUT 2 months ago, you posted that you were still thinking about yout ex so much you wanted to write him a letter to say all the things you wish you had said before. You need to actually work on moving on. If you keep fixating and ruminating on this, you're not moving on. Of course no other men of any worth are going to express interest in a woman who is preoccupied with a man who isn't even her ex and who was last even vaguely romantically involved wit…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 02:12 AM
7

I would leave. If she's been a good LTR but a dip in satisfying sex (despite her every effort) makes you question the relationship, you don't seem to have a real commitment to it. Sounds like you just enjoyed the steady good sex and companionship. Yes, it sounds bad on paper, but it is your reality and you should be honest with yourself about it. Having gone through a serious illness, I personally believe it is better for fairweather friends/bfs to jump ship than awkwardly and sullenly stick aro…
/r/askTRP20/07/19 12:14 AM
1

Welcome! To start, read our sidebar books, found in the "Community Info" section. This is the best way to figure out what you need to work on, since right now you probably are in the stage where you don't know what you don't know... and since we don't know you personally, neither do we. The reason our comments are focusing so much on the nagging is it is an identified issue; we can't really read a few lines and guess the rest, so it's hard to give actionable advice!
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/19 11:56 PM
1

Ooh, I'm not sure about good brands for bigger breasts - I'm on the opposite side of the spectrum.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 01:20 PM
12

One word: Athleisure. Strappy sports bra + yoga pants + a high ponytail is like catnip for boyfriends. 😏
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/19 11:16 PM
4

Many TRP men also say women are only good for sex. You can certainly have elaborate discourse on "do women hold as much responsibility as men?" if such topics interest you. But the most important lesson for me, personally, is not to spend time or energy on the men's subs. Most of the male forums do not encourage a sexual strategy that is beneficial to women, so it doesn't matter much to me what those men think of women. They aren't the men I want, unless I'm in the mood for being a forever-girlf…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/19 11:14 PM
2

I don't think that's fair. People are multifaceted and are made up of several identities. It isn't necessary to be all of those identities with one person, and in fact it's really unhealthy to even expect that. Our culture often expects our partners to provide absolutely every emotional need plus fulfillment plus inspiration plus passion plus every physical need. EX. Maybe your partner of 15 years isn't outdoorsy and you're growing that side of yourself. You don't need to have an affair to do it…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 03:48 PM
1

A void, sure, but not necessarily one that is the partner's fault. That's the difference. It means that if someone can take this knowledge and apply some self awareness, they can renegotiate who they are in their relationship instead of cheating... or explore other avenues of life to express the things they don't in their relationship. You can't look to another person for fulfillment or to make you a whole and full version of yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 03:39 PM
1

Or you can use this psychoanalytic selfish bullshit to ask yourself, "am I really interested in this other person? Do I really want to cheat? Or am I looking to express another side of myself? Because I can do that without cheating."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 03:35 PM
1

So your problem isn't with psychoanalytics, just a certain wave of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 03:28 AM
3

Sure, you could interpret it that way if you wanted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 02:01 AM
3

I don't think the chase ever ends! The fun push-pull of flirting is how you keep the spark once you've been caught. It is play! (I would also add playing together is pretty different than one person playing "games".) Do you feel like you are spending almost all your free time with him?
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/19 02:00 AM
0

What's the problem with being psychoanalytic?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/19 12:37 AM
38

Esther Perel has a podcast called "Where Should We Begin". One of the episodes is about a couple where the woman in a caring marriage cheats. Esther basically says that in these cases, the cheating partner is not looking for something their partner doesn't provide but rather to express a part of themselves that they have been supressing. An independent person exploring being dependent (or vice versa), that kind of thing. It doesn't justify cheating at all, but it does chip away at the narrative …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 09:51 PM
2

How did you burn spaghetti??? Were you frying them before boiling them or something?
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 09:36 PM
1

The reliance on stereotypes and caricatures makes sense. Our culture has really lost track of what true femininity can do- most young women are not taught how to cultivate it. Meanwhile, how can one expect men to be articulate about what they've seldom experienced? I wrote my comment imagining you were a young woman, but since you're not, my intensed subtext of "and this can be true of you too" does not really make sense! Evem though the ban on male participation has been lifted for a while, I s…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 09:34 PM
7

Healthy boundaries are not ridiculous games, they are the foundation to good relationships. Therefor healthy boundaries never stop. There is nothing "game like" about making sure you are investing at the same level as someone else. If that's the message you got from the book, I humbly suggest revisiting it. I would argue that people with healthy self esteem and a decent level of intelligence- aka good people to date- go out of their way to avoid dating people with bad boundaries (invites trouble…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 09:25 PM
2

I am very slender and have a very flat stomach, 5'0/90lbs, and you can totally tell when my bladder is full. We call it the "pee baby"... but I think it is hilarious rather than a source of embarassment. If you giggle, he will laugh with you.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:29 PM
20

Read "Why Men Love Bitches" and "The Surrendered Single". All people want a partner with a rich and full life. You need to have your own friends, hobbies, passions. The way you stop being overly needy for validation and attention and fun from a guy is to find ways to provide it for yourself- build your own self esteem by achieveing things. Run that new distance, paint the idea in your head, go explore that new place. Men don't want things they can have easily. That's no fun. When you recriprocat…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:02 PM
4

No, you were specifically unfeminine because you were dissecting your past relationship with a man who is interested in you. There are a lot of ways to discuss society and gender dynamics without airing painful parts of your past. If he wants to talk about your past, you're allowed to set a boundary that you don't want to talk about it anymore... or set the tone that this part hurts and you need him to step inti a different role for the conversation. You're also allowed to set boundaries on how …
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 02:55 PM
9

It's not the salon, it is the skill level! Hair, makeup and nails are all an art and you improve over time. Going to the salon is great while you hone your skills-- or to get things done thar you never get the real hang of, even. But many of the girls who look immaculate are doing it on their own... they've just had hundreds of hours of practice. If you wish to get there yourself, I have full faith you can.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:52 AM
2

Go to recruitment and see if you find a sorority that you feel you mesh with. If you don't find it, there is nothing wrong in that... but if you do find women you relate to, having that community can be so amazing. My school barely had a Greek scene, but I joined a women's mountaineering club which I loved. As an adult woman, I am a member of a few women's groups (a book club, a bushcrafting group, a geology field-trip group, and a travel club) and I really love the sisterhood present there. We …
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:49 AM
8

RP women want a man that is a leader and protector. When he was able to objectively assess your ex with you, you didn't feel protected. You wanted him to express some level of displeasure at how you were treated and validate your suffering- which he didn't do. However, because you weren't behaving in a feminine way, he probably wasn't even looking at you in a way which would inspire his protective and masculine instincts. After all, there's very little that is romantic or pleasurable about heari…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:44 AM
1

I think extremes in height can lower SMV but there is no height that adds to a woman's SMV. If you took a man who was already a good height like 5'11" and made him 6'1", same face, same proportions, his SMV would rise. But if you apply the same to women, it doesn't work. Take a woman who is a good height like 5'3" and give her the same two inches to 5'5", and her SMV hasn't really budged.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:38 AM
2

Yeah, it can be a mixed bag (as I find most of the manosphere) but there is some quality content in there. P.S. happy cake day!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 03:06 AM
2

It's precisely because there is no contradiction present - there is nothing unfeminine about strengthening your body, or being assertive, or being strong minded! The language you have chosen has set them up as incongruous ideas when really they are perfect fits. She isn't strong BUT feminine, she is strong AND feminine.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:05 AM
2

Your instinct to offer help and advice comes from a place of love, but it isn't always what a person wants. Sometimes they just want to vent or be heard. You'll save yourself a lot of grief if you can differentiate the conversations. You don't even need to be subtle, you can just ask, "hey karen, are you sharing this with me because you want advice? or do you just need to vent a little?" If you don't want to offer venting to your friend anymore, you can offer a line like "we have talked about th…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/19 03:01 AM
6

Listen, do you want to hear a girl talk about her diet? Her hair routine? How much time she spends on her makeup?
/r/askTRP15/07/19 03:03 PM
3

Use humor as much as far as it entertains you. The minute it stops being for fun for you, you are now overdoing it. Everyone has different threshold and preference levels, and none of them are wrong per se. Your humor can be gold to someone and crap to someone else, no matter how great you are or how much/how little you utilize it.
/r/askTRP15/07/19 03:34 AM
5

Thank you, that's a very sweet compliment!
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/19 03:14 AM
2

What "most people" are doing does not matter. At all. If you don't want a social life, no one will force you to have one. However, if you do want one, there are still plenty of friends to be had in the world. Although I highly doubt your claims about gen z are true, let's say you're correct and 100% of that generation doesn't have a single friend or acquaintance. Even in that case, there are still plenty of non-gen-z folks in the world- literally billions.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/19 02:53 AM
55

You sound like you may have a really skewed definition of what femininity is, and it is hurting you. For one, I get the sense that you feel women and femininity are frivolous, more about talk than action (your point one). Rather than set boundaries with your friend(s) about a topic you're tired of (cheaters) and/or evaluate why you are surrounded by unhealthy people in unhealthy relationships, you turn to an idea that suggests all or most women do this. If you change your perspective to one whic…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/19 12:08 AM
8

Validation from strangers won't help for long. Validation that sticks comes from those you love. Put on a dress that always makes you feel cute and go flirt with your husband! If your relationship is in a place where you do not feel you can do that yet, this is what your girlfriends are for! Send them your selfie and let them tell you. Or call a friend and talk about how you're feeling.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/19 11:00 PM
4

I don't know about this one. I've read a lot on content on MRP chastising men for not providing enough kino (aka touch), flirting, amd fun in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/19 05:35 PM
2

Are you sleeping together?
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/19 02:53 AM
17

The reason he isn't interested in the things you want to share with him is because you've repeatedly shown him that you aren't just uninterested in his passions, you also actively dislike them. He used to listen and take an active interest in you because you did the same for him. You are the one that broke that chain of reciprocity and interest, not him. He likes video games and your response is to tell him via a thinly veiled story that video games ruin lives and relationships. Of course he is …
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 09:57 PM
17

There are definitely areas with higher quantities of men- for example, the Silicon Valley in CA is notorious for skewed gender ratios and an abundance of engineers. On a less regional scale, some activities like hunting, fishing, climbing, tend to have skewed gender ratios. When I lived in Alaska, we used to say, "the odds are good... but the goods are odd". However, I don't think looking for areas of low competition is a good strategy. Find the place where you thrive, where you can be your best…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 09:42 PM
12

I agree with everything here. Except the red hair thing. 24 year old you was just dead wrong about red hair.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 09:39 PM
7

I met the love of my life before finishing my clear aligners and pre-breast augmentation. Now he looks at me in a daze every day because he is stunned by the new me. If that's the fate in store for you, it ain't a bad one.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 03:43 PM
21

Pause. This isn't about your ego or your social position. Dominance? You are at work. This is about your career. Do not tank your reputation on this kind of petty crap. If she's flipping the bird, muttering and uncooperative, she is digging her own grave. Don't make a mess of your image trying to help her dig it faster. What was the work concern that this flared up over? Has that been resolved? If not, what you do os you go to your higher up, explain your group has problem XYZ and wants guidance…
/r/askTRP12/07/19 03:50 AM
5

That is such a good example. The intent with which you do something is so powerful in shaping your own inner narrative and your experience of the world.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 03:36 AM
1

I wish I had vetted for a man that wanted a tegu (a very large and cute reptile). Unfortunately I didn't and then I fell so hard in love that I decided, Fuck the tegu! I will follow this man to the end of the Earth. He is just so gentle and kind. Animals love him like a disney princess, a mountain goat once left her kids with him and walked off! He is brilliant, hard working, a great chef, handsome, shares my very niche passions, generous of heart and spirit. Fun in bed. Adventurous, curious, pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 12:50 AM
2

It is extremely important to me. I am a very active persom but I honestly don't even think it is about fitness for me. I have been hit on by chubby men at ultramarathons and at the climbing gym, aka men with clearly high performance bodies and fitness levels... and I still felt no attraction or interest. I like men with a classically fit body.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 12:42 AM
6

I am not a mom. I know you're more tired than I can even imagine. First, be kind to yourself and take some pride in the baby weight you've already dropped. It sounds like you had a technique going that helped you drop that weight but you stopped it when you felt that "fuck it" feeling. So, what were you doing to lose the baby weight? That worked before and is realistically the best template/foundation for your continued weight loss.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 12:18 AM
20

One. I am pretty far left on the political spectrum and an ardent feminist. I believe the full liberation of women makes submission more meaningful because it is given truly freely, rather than due to cultural pressure + institutional barriers. For example, choosing to shave because you love your partner and get joy out of pleasing him is very different from shaving because otherwise your partner will cheat on you or shame you or leave you. Even though both result in shaved legs, one comes from …
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/19 11:57 PM
11

Just to be clear, RPW does NOT advocate for a working woman to take on all the chores. That's an unhealthy imbalance. If a woman is doing all the chores for 2+ and paying her own bills, a husband is going to feel like an anchor around her neck and not the wind beneath her sails.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/19 11:47 PM
7

While some relationships grow out of this, women are most likely to end up plates when engaging on this basis. Ending up as a plate/fwb/booty call is a poor outcome for a woman seeking a relationship, which RPW are.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/19 04:33 PM
1

Yeah, I definitely think the word "child" in the title gives the concept bad PR sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 04:28 PM
2

You can read the book if you'd like... it is free on Amazon every now and again. I'm no expert at it but I find being a little coy and flirty when he's irritable goes a long way for me. Here is an example: My partner works in a physical labor type position and can come home drained from it. Every now and again, a hard day bleeds into crankiness at home. A simple "hey mister, just because you're hairy as a bear doesn't mean you can growl at me" is a way of firmly redirecting & setting a boundary …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 05:08 AM
2

What you're attracted to is a function of your reproductive imperative, even if you're not trying to have a child at that time or with that person. When I say "we want", I mean on a much more primal level. I did not look at my pale fiance and then at my dark skin and think "ah yes, hybrid vigor, our offspring shall be robust". I looked at him and thought, holy shit you are hot. My lizard brain did the math the second I saw him and that is why he is hot to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/19 04:58 AM
2

(The phrase is the name of a home makeover show on HGTV.)
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/19 01:18 AM
10

I have to admit, I am a little impressed by how much scarcity is built into your mindset. It's a big world out there. If your plans fall through or you find yourself bored, you can do something solo or go meet new people you don't hold in such low regard. There's no reason to keep someone around who "irks your soul".
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/19 11:16 PM
11

I don't understand something. If you're just "having fun" and not looking for a relationship right now, why are you even considering a relationship or more dates with someone who wants one? Someone wanting to be with you isn't enough of a reason to reconsider your priorities.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/19 08:00 PM
1

I'm a 5. My fiance is a solid 9. That old saying "a 5 in the steet is a 9 at the crag" definitely worked for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 07:11 PM
1

It isn't weird, we want tall genes for our babies to compensate for our short genes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 06:55 PM
1

You're missing the simplest and most likely solution: predators often go after the most vulnerable people. Do you think the women in comas who were raped at that AZ facility had some kind of hidden charm? No. They simply didn't have resistance.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 06:52 PM
1

Yes, you are missing some context. It's from a chapter of a book called Fascinating Womanhood, which holds childlike (not childish) responses to anger in high esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/19 01:54 AM
1

I don't think he was being particular about your appearance, it sounds like he was trying to be complimentary by saying you look better in person than your photos (which is rare). He was probably stunned to be on a date with a woman like you, because it likely doesn't happen often. No matter how unattractive someone is, they will never say no to the attention of an attractive person. It is a natural thing for people to be attracted to attractive people, no matter their own attractiveness level. …
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/19 04:33 PM
3

Unless you can identify problem areas and seek advice for them, you will just get generic suggestions. Your post tells us nothing about you! What do you want to work on? What do you already do? What are yout specific and measurable goals?
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/19 04:21 PM
1

I can't say I've read most of the sub, but nothing on the subject matter comes to mind from recent threads. It is impossible to make a universal formula based on time dating. Each relationship is so different. The key is to be reciprocating the effort he demonstrates- not by doing the exact same acts but by doing the same quantity of effort. Think of it as a dance: you need to take the same size steps as your partner for it to flow properly. When the leading partner changes the pace or length of…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/19 04:16 PM
3

If you have been reading Fascinating Womanhood and are interested in the true male counterpart, read Man of Steel and Velvet. FW was written by Mrs. Andelin and MSV was written by Mr. Andelin.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/19 06:13 AM
14

Does this man have a vision for your shared life that you're on board with? You've discussed timelines for kids, right? If so, breathe. He knows. If we are being honest, I don't think your stress about childbearing years is really what is going on. You use the very strongest language when discussing your jealousy and feelings of being "old". Realize in the scheme of things, it matters very little if you're 29 v.s. 30 when you marry the love of your life. What matters is you've both had appropria…
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/19 02:55 AM
12

Finding your best shades is really a function of your skin tone, hair color, and how you dress. I don't think there's a such thing as a polish color that wouldn't look feminine, although it could look unflattering! I used to almost always paint my nails a matte black - I have hip-length black hair, so it looked tied together. Since I got my sapphire engagement ring, I find I favor glossy white, nudes, and matte pale pink more.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 11:58 PM
10

Our culture often implies the low maintenance woman or chill girlfriend is ideal. Nothing could be further from the truth. Having needs is not "needy" - not only are you allowed to ask for what you want, it actually gives you value in his eyes. If you don't give a man opportunities to take care of you and then bask in your gratitude, the relationship will not be nearly as fulfilling for him. One of the most wonderful feelings for a man is that he is wanted, needed, and appreciated for his mascul…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 05:04 PM
9

Not the OP but isn't a big stretch to imagine a world where a woman values the child she is already carrying more than the attraction of a hypothetical future man.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/19 12:49 AM
–

I looooove the magic erasers! I use them too.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 09:20 PM
2

It doesn't serve you well to write off all temp agencies just because you had an unusual experience with one agency. It is very normal in the work world to send out far more applications than you get interviews, and more interviews than job offers. It doesn't usually mean anything bad about you or the industry you're exploring.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 08:01 PM
2

Why don't you have money saved up? Do you have student loans? Does your family charge you high rent? If you don't know what you want to do, have you considered trying to work with a temp agency? This way you can try your hand at a few different jobs in a shorter span of time, but you don't look flighty for it! You may find the personal finance subs most helpful. It is hard to feel feminine when you're bogged down with stress about providing for yourself. The most important thing right now is to …
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 07:21 PM
3

When someone invests in you, it feels good. When someone takes care of you, it feels good. This is still true when the person investing in you and caring for you... is your own self.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/19 03:37 AM
5

Are you allowed to have long or painted nails at your restaurant? Food service workers aren't permitted to paint their nails in many places. A strengthening clear topcoat may be an option for you if your work prohibits painted nails. However, putting hard layers on your nails should only be a stopgap. How is your diet? If your nails are brittle, it often means your diet is low on minerals like calcium, low on healthy fats, and/or vitamin E. One of the best vitamins for hair and nail health is a …
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/19 03:27 AM
10

I am not sure where I gave you the impression I was advising women not to show any interest at all. Is it the phrase "move mountains"? Generally that is used, where I come from, to overcome one's own obstacles. Not jumping random hurdles the other person sets up, and not bearing the entire weight of the relationship. In the context of my original comment, where the man being busy is his obstacle, his mountain to move: if a man is busy, he will find time to return your text or he let you know whe…
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/19 02:19 AM
35

If a man wants to be with you, he will move mountains to be with you. You won't be wondering about it if he wants to be with you. I've seen so many girlfriends say "oh, he is busy, he's had a long day, that's why he isn't texting me back." I personally know of a husband who walked across Antarctica on foot. He carried extra batteries for his sat phone to be able to call his wife - in an environment where you're counting every single gram on your sled. My partner texted me good night every night …
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 07:07 PM
1

I don't think I see that pairbonding discussion posted on this board too often. I feel it is more of a belief that if you are seeking commitment and marriage, casual sex is a behavior that tends to be painful - if you're seeking marriage but having casual sex without the prospect of marriage, that can feel bad. Or it can cause you to overinvest in someone who isn't invested in you, and so on. Most people I have seen who truly enjoyed casual sex and ONS were not seeking any commitment from anyone…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 06:13 PM
2

For single and dating women, I reccomend: -The Fascinating Girl by Helen Andelin -For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhan -The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle -Why Men Love Bitches/Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov The Fascinating Girl & For Women Only will help you understand men better and create a femininity that is polarized to masculinity. The Surrendered Single is a mix of a book that is good for single women and women who are dating, as it's core is about how to let a man lead during this…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 06:04 PM
6

For single and dating women, I reccomend: -The Fascinating Girl by Helen Andelin -For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhan -The Surrendered Single by Laura Doyle -Why Men Love Bitches/Why Men Marry Bitches by Sherry Argov The Fascinating Girl & For Women Only will help you understand men better and create a femininity that is polarized to masculinity. The Surrendered Single is a mix of a book that is good for single women and women who are dating, as it's core is about how to let a man lead during this…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 06:02 PM
4

Congratulations on your engagement! For married women, I reccomend: -Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin (there is a novel version by David Coory some people also like, but I find it isn't as in depth as Helen's original) -The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle -For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhan The Surrendered Wife is very step-by-step, in a straightforward way, so it is a great place to start. But all 3 books are amazing and will really help you further develop your femininity. Also I apologiz…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 05:54 PM
29

I think that it won't be a big struggle to get out of it, when the time comes. You'll feel ready and excited at the prospect of meeting people. You'll actively want to build something with someone. Until then, honor your feelings and keep working on yourself. When you have the stomach flu, food sounds absolutely repulsive. This is healthy and protects you. Likewise a healthy reaction to a period of large self investment is disinterest in making big external commitments, like dating.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/19 07:44 PM
24

A childlike response could be perfect here. Next time he honks your boob, stamp your foot, cross your arms and toss your hair. "EXCUSE ME! You can't JUST be honking my boob like this all the time without even telling me I am pretty!" Or "This butt squeeze was free, but the next one will cost you one makeout session, mister." Communicate that you want more, but in a fun and playful way.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/19 07:30 PM
3

I'm not sure I am qualified to write an entire post, but I think if a woman can look at the relationship history honestly and see that she played a huge role in the rift that lead to infidelity; if the man shows genuine remorse; and they have a life together that would be of lower quality than when apart, it is a good formula for seeking reconciliation.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 09:17 PM
1

Yikes. There is a lot to unpack here, but this is not the space for struggling men to fix themselves. That space already exists and is called married red pill.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 09:12 PM
2

Hm, that's harder! So much of flirting is body language. Texting back in a prompt manner and have good conversations. How did he get your number originally? Because if he already has your number and does not ask you to hang out after texting for a little bit... he is probably not that into you.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 08:40 PM
23

Provide two things - a piece of validation for his problem and a piece of admiration for him. For example, when something is blocked at work, you could say "That must be so frustrating for you. I know how much you like to get your work done efficiently, and (person/hurdle) sounds like they are doing everything they can do make that difficult." If it is a repeat offender, I sometimes like to use creative or funny insults for them, too - if that's something that will make your partner smile, check…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 08:07 PM
10

Are you single, dating, or married? I have some book suggestions that would change based on this.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 07:35 PM
5

I'm not single, but everyone here will strongly discourage you from going down the casual sex route. Beyond that, whatever you do in the bedroom is your business and you just need to vet for a partner that shares the same attitudes and preferences about sex. Some men will be intrigued by toys. Some won't. If you like them, part of your vetting is finding a man that does too.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 07:32 PM
0

What is sexually attractive really varies. You sound like you think certain physical traits mean someone could never, ever be physically attractive to anyone. I mean, look at gingers. People tease them and call them ugly and some people think they are the sexiest folks on Earth - probably one of the most polarizing phenotypes. If a guy is 5'7 and dates a gal who is 5'2, they still have a five inch height difference. That's enough for her to feel he is attractively taller. A personal one but I ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 07:27 PM
17

I don't mean to put down any men that post on this thread, but watching what men do versus what men say is really vital on this one. Men are people, and people love to be flattered. Direct pursuit is flattering. Humans love validation. However, men are also masculine people. Feeling like they have won the chase feels even greater, because it makes them feel successful in a masculine role. If you want a man to cherish you, a man who wants to take a role as leader/provider/protector, you're best s…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 07:16 PM
2

Does your library hold special events or fundraisers? The etiquette of the library may make it hard for a guy to approach, but library or bookstore events might be a good approach.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 03:07 AM
6

Nope! While skin is part of the support, there are muscles under the fat and everything is connected. Bras have been shown to increase saginess. Here is an article that can explain it better than I could hope to: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/259073.php
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 01:01 AM
1

This post shouldn't have been helpful at all. It is nothing short of foolish to go into marriage or any financial commitment without knowing the financial health of the other party. You should always do this.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/19 12:57 AM
3

I 100% agree the most important thing is to talk! The way I use the term red flag is a "run! do not try to see what is behind it because it doesn't matter!" -addiction, violence, bigotry, infidelity, and so on. The unforgivable sins. But if someone uses red flag to mean "look real hard at it and decide" (how I am reading your take), then it is totally a red flag. I see the term used both ways and it is a little confusing. For me personally this one is a weird yellow flag, because it could easily…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 09:27 PM
3

One thing I really like to do is use a ring to hold up a high pony or the bottom of a braid. I tie it with a hairtie, then put a size 7 ring over the hairtie. It holds snugly for the thickness of my hair and hairtie. The kind of ring that is a statement ring on a finger becomes much more subtle as a hair accessory. I have one that looks like a deer, a snake, a running fox, a wraparound feather, a rose gold band with delicate garnets... I try to coordinate the color of the ring to my earrings or …
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 07:04 PM
7

Throw away your idea that liberal areas don't have as many good men. There are captain material men across all ends of the political spectrum, in my experience - as long as you avoid extremists and fringe philosophies. This small but significant prejudice can stop you from meeting some really amazing people. To actually meet people, go do things you enjoy. Your tribe will naturally be there! Stay active. Don't go somewhere you think your ideal man will be, if it isn't something you want to do an…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 06:54 PM
10

It is very important for a couple to see eye to eye on philosophies about money. Relationships across socioeconomic classes can he very challenging for this reason. It doesn't sound too red flag-y to me because he isn't telling you what to spend money on or not, he is telling you not to rack up debt. It sounds like he is concerned because he wants a future with you, which is a beautiful thing. Most people in their early 20s know little about financial planning and health. He's probably giving yo…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 06:28 PM
23

This is one of the tools I found really transformed my relationship. It de-escalates a situation so quickly. One of my favorite lines, picked up from the FW facebook group - "Just because you're so handsome doesn't mean you can say that to me/treat me like this!"
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 05:51 PM
8

Kind of true for me too. My partner and I want "children", but we don't want to have children. We plan to adopt teens (who often have a much harder time finding families). Many of my generation just aren't in a financial place where they feel they can give a child a decent life. Couple that with the fact that many milennials face deep anxiety about climate change and the general world their children would inherit ...I agree that I definitely see a decent number of the upper middle class women I …
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/19 09:41 PM
6

The title of this post is pretty much why it is bad. Because you're not in a relationship, it isn't intimacy that he values the way you want him to value it... and that makes you feel bad.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/19 12:57 AM
5

This is part of his sexual immaturity that you need to accept, if you want to move forward with him. He did not see your photo as a precious gift. He's sexually immature and seems shy, so very likely he saw it as an imposition or a way of you trying to get him to do things your way. Your entire history, as you have told it, makes it pretty apparent that he's awkward about these things. Which means he probably isn't comfortable enough in his traditional role as agressor to be fluid enough to hand…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/19 05:02 AM
9

Being a good "first mate" does not mean your needs go unmet or that you tolerate bad behavior. In fact, it can often mean more of your needs get met than before. The beginning is hard because you're changing deeply entrenched dynamics, and it does feel like a period of give give give. But the first stages of growing a fruit tree feel like all give & no get, too -- but the grown tree yields fruit year after year. You are investing in yourself and your family. It is better for your children to hav…
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/19 04:53 AM
46

If you step way back, I think a lot of your issues will tie right off. Don't ask advice unless you are willing to take it. Replace unsolicited advice with praise and support of his ideas. If you do not actually support his ideas, agree based off the strength of the man proposing his ideas. For example, if you think his way is inefficient but would still get the job done, don't tell him how to improve it unless he specifically asks. Instead, support his idea because he's always had a good work et…
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/19 06:29 PM
1

Esther Perel has a podcast called "Where Should We Begin". It is couples counseling recordings. I feel so much of what the couples discuss can relate to even people in healthy marriages because you can recognise patterns to work on - the people in the podcast are exteme examples of traits I see in the majority of people. For me, it has definitely helped me learn a few things about myself!
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 11:54 PM
1

When women work, the man's high value as a provider is greatly diminished. An average joe making average money was still a prize back when his income was her primary means of support. He needs to bring more to the table than he did historically.
/r/askTRP24/06/19 06:24 PM
45

I am not a millionaire, but I have enough money to complicate things for a young woman. I am engaged now and my fiance is the only person with whom I have discussed my long range finances. While dating, I just don't share that I am sitting on this money. It helps that I don't wear designer or very expensive clothes, live modestly, and don't work in a profession which earns a lot of money. People don't automatically assume I have money the way they might if you were a surgeon or investment banker…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/19 12:07 AM
3

Do you have a good relationship with your mom? Do you feel she saying these things from a place of love, to guide you? Or is she just being sharp and critical? If you feel she is coming from a place of love, and you trust her with your vulnerability, I would ask her specifically what you can improve. Tell her you want to be more feminine and you would love her guidance.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 11:34 PM
3

When men know their partners are insanely insecure, they often attempt to protect themselves by withholding information. They may lie by omission, trickle truth, or outright lie. It isn't a wise or mature thing to do, but from the sound of your post you are both still young. Is it possible that the reason your partner lied is because he knew you well enough to predict you would implode if you knew his true history with his friend? If so, this may help you forgive him. He wasn't trying to hide an…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 11:26 PM
21

I know the conventional wisdom is that women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment, and I don't doubt this as an average truth. However, every LTR I have had has been initiated by the man wanting exclusivity. And I will be honest and say that I am not a stunningly beautiful woman but one that is very average. But I think I know how to do the dance now, in my late 20s. I think a lot of women feel that if they initiate a lot of sex, text him first, and generally remo…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 07:16 PM
3

I see where you're going with that. It is a decent point in light of how OP does already sound down about not receiving the same perks her friends do. Words have power, they shape our inner worlds. Picking them more mindfully can be really beneficial. Definitely something to think about. On the flip side though, I think many people use privilege as shorthand for "advtange bestowed upon", without tying it to every nuance of the original uses. Sometimes language evolves in illogical ways, like how…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 06:50 PM
3

This is an interesting question to see here from a male poster. Since you're not an RPW, I'm wondering where this question is rooted for you. Are you fearful that any woman you date or marry would only be settling for you? Be mindful not to assume that conventionally attractive people are the only kind of attractive. Sexual compatibility and spark can be triggered by someone even if they aren't attractive universally. My partner is a ginger, and most people in our area tend not to find that comp…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 04:44 AM
1

I think only mods/admins and Endorsed Contributors are allowed to award stars, but knowing you thought of me feels as good as a star to me! Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/19 12:46 AM
22

At work, I wear a government uniform. We wear green from head to toe, and none of the greens have the same quantity of blue in them so everything clashes hideously. Add to that, I am petite and a size 00, so none of the standard issue items fit me. The first thing I do when I get home is fling my uniform off and put a dress on. It feels so good! It really does change my entire energy.
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/19 12:24 AM
1

Beautifully put! I was hoping someone with or planning to have kids could speak more to this, thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/19 03:53 AM
15

I'm terribly sorry but how can you consider a man who won't hug you "your" guy? Why would you be willing to "do anything" for a man who won't show you affection?
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/19 03:51 AM
109

Men do not go to their male friends for a soft place to land, and while female friends may provide some level of comfort, advice, etc, it is about as comparable as an orange to an orangutan IMO... shares some traits on paper but looks wildly different in real life. I think one of the things we don't talk about on RP often, because I think it maybe carries some blue pill stigma, is the word LOVE. The sheer power of a man who is loved deeply... A man who feels respected, supported, admired, and tr…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/19 09:01 PM
2

High value comes from a combination of things: mission, frame, and appearance are core. Beyond that, it becomes very subjective.
/r/askTRP18/06/19 05:46 PM
1

There are a few companies that offer clear aligners online and they work very well. I did mine through a company called Candid for $1500 and a friend used another called Smile Direct Co for $1600 (theirs looked nicer to me than mine in terms of plastic thickness tbh), for full treatments. It is usually a fair bit cheaper than Invisalign.
/r/askTRP18/06/19 04:47 PM
5

The rage comes from finding out that the value you thought you were providing isn't that valuable at all. It is the anger of the unattractive "beta bux" in a dead bedroom. He thought he was providing value by breaking his back to pay the bills and financing everything for her. He followed the rules he was taught. But he was reading from the wrong playbook and he feels cheated. It is a natural reaction. Most people aren't totally useless to where they provide 0 value at all, and most people do wa…
/r/askTRP18/06/19 04:40 PM
13

It probably isn't good for you to do anything that causes you to feel guilty. Stop with the contouring for now -if you feel bad about it, your mind is telling you something. You should explore the roots of what you're feeling and reconcile them. This is pure personal opinion, but I think makeup is a wonderful tool to accentuate and celebrate what you have... BUT when it becomes a tool to totally change a feature of your face, it can become a toxic weapon against yourself. Every time you wear mak…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/19 03:58 PM
78

How old are you? A relationship of years that leads to a "break", rather than marriage, does not sound like a good investment of your time. Come back sober and let us know what you're really working through.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/19 02:09 PM
37

Are you feeling like your own lifestyle isn't as active as you would like for it to be? If there are things that are lacking, I suggest you pursue them with your husband. Absolutely stop visiting this guy's page. Delete the app or block him if you can't resist the temptation! It grows if you feed it. Flirting with a man you find attractive is already crossing a boundary in most marriages. Remember that you hardly know this man. He is a fantasy. Fantasies don't have human failings, they don't sno…
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/19 07:34 PM
12

I don't understand. What's wrong with the word "privilege"?
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/19 03:45 PM
83

There is absolutely pretty girl privilege. Research has shown atractive people get promotions quicker, they make friends more easily, and just generally are better able to get their way. If it isn't a privilege you enjoy, though, there is absolutely no point worrying about it. Keep your focus on what you can control. Self consciousness isn't attractive, lack of confidence isn't attractive, and especially unattractive is resentment that you aren't receiving a privilege that 95% of people also do …
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/19 11:08 PM
10

If anal hurts, you aren't doing it properly. If you give her enough prep and make it a good experience, she'll be asking you for it.
/r/askTRP16/06/19 07:27 PM
1

I used a bit of DB jargon but I was trying to get at "who was the party refusing sex?". Because if the man is the one who is unilaterally refusing, invitation and getting done up to the nines often fails
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/19 03:02 AM
3

Part of femininity is actually being assertive and direct about your needs! You seem reluctant to spell out what you want, but in the best relationships, people do articulate what they want. A good partner is not someone who naturally knows what you want - a good partner is one who does their best to take care of you. So let him know what you want. Part of me wonders if you're scared to ask for what you want, because you fear he won't give it to you or even want to give it to you. For example, y…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/19 02:11 AM
5

If you want to go build a relationship of any kind with her, try to address the heart of her comment rather than letting her know how you personally feel about it. You can validate her statements and feelings without agreeing with them. Your best weapons are phrases like, "I can see that XYZ is really important to you", "You feel pretty strongly about this", "You've been following this issue closely". If you just employ this technique, using a different variant phrase or question every time, you…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/19 01:47 AM
2

I love that quote. It is so spot on! The short answer is that my partner had low T and he didn't really have the energy or desire to address it. Partially because low T causes fatigue, and partially because I was a force in his life that was draining rather than rejuvenating. I started reading and earnestly practicing Fascinating Womanhood. It built our relationship up and it built him up. Because I was not exhausting him, he was able to really focus his energy to address the problem head on. He…
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/19 01:20 AM
1

Were you the low libido partner, or was he?
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/19 01:06 AM
3

You can't fix a problem if the other person isn't interested in fixing it, and your husband doesn't seem like he even thinks the bedroom is a problem. You can express how much you want it, but at the end of the day it sounds like he isn't interested or receptive to hearing your side out... so it is best not to keep talking about it because that is harping and nagging. If you choose to accept him as-is and live RPW fullyand consistently, he may be more interested in meeting your needs in the futu…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 09:39 PM
4

When I was in a dead bedroom with my wonderful partner, initiation felt like a slap in the face to him. It made him feel that he wasn't providing. It felt like pressure. It didn't feel flattering, no matter how much tact and girl game I employed. A lot of low libido men (and also some women) on the deadbedrooms sub have expressed this same sentiment, so I don't think my partner was an aberration in this. The mechanics of dead bedrooms are very strange because it feels like you've entered Upside-…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/19 09:28 PM
5

The e-book "the fascinating girl" is free on Amazon today, you may want to check it out!
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/19 05:20 PM
3

No problem - I think you'll still find good advice here because this is a very supportive community. I hope you are able to find some good solutions.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/19 12:29 AM
20

RPW is about sexual strategy at its core. There is no real RPW workplace formula. Many of the feminine communication styles we reccomend here may not yield results in the work world, especially if the first time you're trying them out is a high stress situation like this (rather than as a byproduct of you being a feminine woman and having an established track record as such). Generally, being direct, plain and assertive is best at work. I highly reccomend you read through a workplace Q&A blog ca…
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/19 07:10 PM
5

I met my partner at 23, when he was 26. I was very BP at the time and expressed early on that I didn't want marriage. (I had reasonably large trust assets and investments I didn't want muddied up by marriage.) Around the 3 year mark, after about a solid year of actually implementing RPW, he brought the subject up again. He said he had been thinking about it and he really did want for us to be married - by that point I was very receptive to the idea. We still aren't engaged (technically) because …
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/19 06:32 PM
2

If you're not a person that naturally enjoys art museums or symphonies, it is a bad bet going to those events just to meet a woman. (If you enjoy them but drag your feet going out, address the problem from that perspective.) All people, including women, are drawn to authenticity. If you're going to "high society" to find women, rather than because that is your niche in the world, you're not likely to succeed.
/r/RedPillWomen11/06/19 06:20 PM
6

People, as a rule, are terribly bad at articulating what they really want. This is why all RP advises to watch actions over words. Why are you seeking advice on femininity from men? Femininity is far greater than a obtaining checklist of things men want and checking it off. A truly feminine woman can meet deep needs in her man that he may never be able to articulate, unless he is exceptionally self aware -- and this is why he cherishes her! Men on red pill forums and MGTOW have often experienced…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/19 06:31 PM
105

Her branch swing failed. The guy didn't want her as anything more than a plate after she threw her relationship away for him. You don't want in on that.
/r/askTRP09/06/19 01:51 AM
3

Getting over someone is a totally separate process from developing feelings for someone new. This is absolutely a terrible way to approach dating that can allow some very predatory people into your life, because you're only comparing them against such a bad standard. You sound like you need nun mode ASAP. I hope you heal from your traumatic experience and can move on soon with a happier and healthier outlook. Dating while in such a vulnerable state does not typically attract good, strong men (wh…
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/19 01:46 AM
2

Ooh, your take on his "fuck up" comment did not occur to me but definitely rings true. I agree the plate route seems completely unlikely to get OP what she wants here.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 08:40 PM
1

I personally would never reccomend the plate route. The post I linked you to also takes a cautious tone and doesn't reccomend it. The best thing you can do, realistically, is to walk away and vet for a man who wants a relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 08:32 PM
12

Women gatekeep sex, men gatekeep commitment. When you use that line, you communicate you aren't attracted (what our gender gatekeeps). When he uses that line, it is more likely he isn't interested in offering commitment. He is still attracted to you, and he likely wants to sleep with you/ make you a plate. But he doesn't want to date you or give you an idea he wants to make you his girlfriend eventually. (Notice he didn't use any open language about seeing where things go or being open to dating…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 07:07 PM
2

I'm not really making the connection between traditional gender roles and/or female sexual strategy (RPW) and any one opinion on the debate between implied v.s. explicit consent. Could you help me understand the link you're seeing? I get the sense you feel it has something to do with some slight on masculinity, but I feel like I've missed some context.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 06:18 PM
6

Just because you live in a liberal area does not mean you accept red flags. There are wonderful men with amazing leadership potential in those areas, as well. Don't lower your standards because of where you live - adjust your circumstances to make what you want and need available to you. This may mean something small like exploring new social circles or something big like moving. If you are attracting a lot of bad relationships, I suggest you read up on establishing healthy boundaries (When I Sa…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 02:28 PM
3

If your gf was the only thing you had going for you, you were literally bringing nothing to the table for her. No face to face call or text is going to change that, and she probably stayed around and waited for you for long enough to totally lose faith in you and get over you while still dating. Now she has someone new.
/r/askTRP08/06/19 01:58 PM
5

Almost every man I've had with crude sensibilities like your husband has made statements about how "all men are like this". The only thing that really sets those men straight is for a man they respect push back - "no, we aren't. are you doing alright?" Unfortunately for you, the inner contents of your husband will not change. But his behavior toward you certainly can. He didn't behave like this to you when you were engaged or dating, right? When he says something you don't like, simply say, "you…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 09:47 PM
1

The entire FW book is meant for married women. From what I understand, Helen Andelin wrote another book called Fascinating Girl that deals more on courtship... but I can't find a copy of it!
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/19 10:58 PM
4

I tried so hard to come up with a person in my life for this discussion, since it has been empty. And you know what, I can't. This is such a rare treasure today, and it would make anyone who could achieve it stand out so so so much.
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/19 06:36 PM
1

Are you thanking him daily for the extra long and exhausting hours he is putting in?
/r/RedPillWives02/06/19 06:34 PM
1

Read a book called "secrets of fascinating womanhood". The pdf is free online. It is a bit corny sometimes but it will explain your part very simply, in ways the bible isn't always clean and easy. A man in a good marriage who finds TRP often just goes "huh, well then" and moves on. Only a man who feels unloved, disrespected, and deprived seizes on these concepts and goes rambo. You have to own your part and be humble to him.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/19 06:32 PM
1

Develop some social hobbies - swing dance, rock climbing (indoor gym), volunteering in group settings, etc. This allows you to meet people with a shared set of interests right off the bat.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/19 06:27 PM
2

I agree that I don't think he will have an easy time by any means, for all those reasons you state. But of all the places in the world, the faith circle is the one where his small chances of finding a good woman are most likely to come to fruition, if they are to come to fruition at all. There is definitely a very vulnerable and exploitable element present in those communities.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/19 02:15 PM
13

I don't know the man in question, and I am far too young to presume I know anything about dating at your age, so take me with a bucket of salt. But I would be careful that you're not setting up a giant covert contract -- that if you act wifey and play house for long enough, you two will end up together. I would really consider if you really are outcome independent here and do not expect anything from him in the long run. I think any man would be pleasant to and grateful for a woman who cooked fo…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/19 12:36 AM
9

I personally think he is a stellar salesman and realized that the faith market, though one could hardly call it "untapped", is still a goldmine. Christians, probably more than anyone, love a good redemption story. This niche is a place he can make a lot more money and find a good life partner, as he comes into an age where the presence of a woman has been shown by science to seriously improve a man's lifespan, health, and happiness. And it sounds like he really needs that after his loss. However…
/r/RedPillWives01/06/19 05:36 PM
2

Someone once said that blue pill life is dating on easy mode but marriage on hard mode because the dynamic can be so frustrating and unfulfilling for many. RP is the opposite -dating on hard mode and marriage on easy mode, because although you may find fewer men who want what you do, you only need one and once you establish your dynamic life flows far more easily and joyfully. So just remember: you're on hard mode now, but it is an investment.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/19 03:27 AM
7

Sometimes when a man is depressed, you need to feed him well, do your part, be a source of cheer if he seeks you out... but also give him space. Unless he has a history of mental illness, he may be acting depressed because of stress at work, or concerns he hasn't shared, or many other reasons. His inactivity at home may be a symptom rather than a cause. You can invite him to join you for activities, but don't be pushy if he shows resistance. Sometimes getting a tired person moving can be rejuven…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/19 02:13 AM
33

The blue pill people and the red pill people are going to tell you the same thing here: You can't change another person's values. You need to find someone you can love and accept as-is, not based on an expectation that they will change into whatever mold you want to squish them into. Of the RP options, I feel there are two big, obvious ones. One is cut him loose and find a man you share goals with. The other is to truly submit and follow him in his values, accepting him 100% and not expecting hi…
/r/RedPillWomen30/05/19 01:54 AM
1

You want to live a single and free life in your original post, and a few comments later you're terrified she is going to leave you. What gives? If you want to be single, tell her you accept her offer the next time she threatens to leave, get a divorce and move on with your life.
/r/askMRP28/05/19 11:35 PM
4

We often burnout because of a lack of self care during strenuous times. Is it possible you aren't doing self care and aren't making sure your needs are being met? If you are sacrificing things you normally do solo and which make you happy (maybe to keep him company or do extra nice things for him?), dial it back and start doing your "you" stuff again. You also probably have a need for company that isn't mopey. Energetic friends, people that uplift you rather than needing uplifting. So call your …
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/19 11:25 PM
2

I'm not sure my intent was clear. In the OP, they stated "you won't bring others to your side of the red pill" and as a red pill woman I am agreeing. It is best to seek people who already agree, and not to talk about these subjects with people who don't. Doing otherwise can be really damaging to your reputation or social life, depending on where you are. I have BP friends who think my values are ass backwards while longing for a relationship as loving as mine. As they say, the first rule of figh…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/19 06:19 PM
3

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. For a new friend, it isn't appropriate for them to be venting to you all the time or for that to be the bulk of your interaction. Since it seems like a problem for you, maybe consider a 5:1 rule. For someone new in your life, there should be five positive and mutually beneficial interactions before you do anything like a favor or emotional labor for them. If someone requests a favor before it is appropriate, you can simply say NO. Be busy and unavailable. You …
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/19 01:01 PM
1

By our modern cultural standards, yes. It is a very unpopular opinion, so it is generally not wise to bring up in conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/19 12:53 PM
3

For winter depressive episodes, consider the use of a sun lamp and vitamin D supplements. It helps me immensely. I am a chronic pain patient, although in the last few years the pain level has become much lower for me from my injury. One thing I find helpful is taking an antidepressant with some "upper" qualities. Pain isn't one size fits all and neither are approaches to handling it.. but this can be one of many things things you use to combat your seasonal depression, anxiety, and fatigue. A lo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/05/19 12:22 PM
3

I use the cetaphil cream, it is thicker and a little more hydrating if you have super dry skin. But it also doesn't leave a greasy feeling. Either way cetaphil products are a great option.
/r/RedPillWomen27/05/19 07:32 PM
12

How long have you two been together? Why do you think you have a gender identity disorder? Because you aren't loving the pressure to wear makeup if you want your boyfriend to make love to you? Or is there something else you aren't talking about here that makes you feel you're experiencing gender dysphoria? This was a troubling post for me to read and I felt so sad for you. It is clear that this level of expectation is causing you quite a bit of distress - crying while doing your makeup?! Someone…
/r/RedPillWomen26/05/19 02:08 AM
2

That isn't how PTSD works, even a little bit.
/r/askMRP25/05/19 11:40 PM
1

We recently left the desert for a mountain range that sees -40 in the winter, the spring here is so much colder than the coldest day of our desert winters. I am just a big weenie right now. But my new heater is letting me be a weenie while in my dresses, so I am happy!
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/19 05:20 PM
6

A cardigan will never suffice in lieu of a down jacket for me-- but I do so love a cute cropped cardigan with a dress. I am one of those people whose bodies are convinced that 75* is freezing.
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/19 05:33 AM
1

Depression isn't always active feelings of sorrow, grief, fear, or anxiety. It can have passive symptoms instead for some people, like a disinterest in things you used to enjoy, or a feeling of just going through the motions. This may not be it, but it is worth considering talking to your doctor about too.
/r/askTRP25/05/19 04:22 AM
45

I one day pouted to my partner that my beloved dresses are stuck in the closet because it is just too damn cold in the house to take my jacket off. Would you imagine that... we suddenly have a new and more efficient heater that can be run all day for half the energy of the old dinosaur we had. We may want to think they don't care, but most of our partners will do whatever they can to facilitate cute clothes at home. So keep up the good work!
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/19 04:04 AM
11

Is it possible you are still, on some level, depressed or anxious since your breakup? The fact that you can feel horny on xanax (not a drug known for raising libidos) makes me think you might need some time to self reflect, meditate, go on some long hikes, etc and drop some mental strain that is interfering with your libido.
/r/askTRP24/05/19 06:40 PM
7

I think you perceive women making that statement to be saying "I refuse to do emotional labor for a man, ever", but let me explain what it means more often. When women complain feel like a mother, they are almost always communicating that they are the captain of their relationship and they hate it. Likely they are exclusively the person leading, guiding, making decisions, and taking responsibility for the household. Many captain-quality men can thrive under these conditions, but most women don't…
/r/RedPillWives24/05/19 06:17 PM
5

Courtship still exists, too... and vetting is for figuring out which is which.
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/19 04:53 PM
2

This is Laura's strategy for deflecting tasks you are letting go of. The way I read it, it is specific to duties - not shared hobbies! So, if he is supposed to take care of the finances but keeps asking you about it, "whatever you think" is a way to put the ball back in his court, where it belongs. If both of you genuinely enjoy re-doing the furniture together, there is no reason to stop.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/19 06:51 PM
3

You sound like you love nature - being in it and learning about it. Practice developing feminine traits where it is easiest: in your element. Express and share your joy and excitement about the wonderful things you see on trails or on your documentaries. Be tender, loving, joyful where it comes naturally and then you can expand it to the places where it is harder.
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/19 06:44 PM
3

Some amazing advice here about looking to your own role, so I won't repeat what is surely so painful to read. But beyond that, it is hard for me to imagine that a faith that doesn't allow anal could actually for an open marriage... unless you guys practice, like, very fundamentalist Islam. But even then he couldn't have fwb's willy nilly but wives that he supports. Where I am getting at is... I suggest also faith based counseling or to really try to get a sense of if faith is still even importan…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/19 05:23 AM
13

Contributing 50% of finances should never, ever, ever come with doing 100% of housework. If you decide to cohabit with him, you need to make this clear before and get his explicit agreement to either cover all financial burden or to split housework as evenly as you split finances. Also realize you're investing your youth -the years it is easiest to find the best mate-on a man who doesn't want legal marriage but wants the benefits of traditional marriage, rather than using these years to find a p…
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/19 03:05 AM
9

Listen to your momma! Remember if you catch yourself slipping up you can always say, "I am so sorry, I got so excited I interrupted you/cut you off. Please continue what you were going to say about xyz" or something like that.
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/19 05:28 AM
18

It sounds like you may have a masculine energy- to use your own description of yourself, you can be loud, center of attention, and have show off tendencies. This can make many men IRL disinterested in you, even if you are stunningly beautiful. (Whereas it wouldn't be as big of an impediment online.) I would try to read up and practice active listening skills. There is no need to change your own energy - not to be a different person but just a better version of yourself. One that is more interest…
/r/RedPillWomen21/05/19 04:22 AM
1

When you feel claustrophobic, can you go for a quick walk outside? Open a window and turn on a fan to get some air? I find also that "it grows if you feed it". If you focus on your discontent, you will feel it so acutely. If you busy yourself with work or projects or find other things to focus your attention on, it may help you get to a better headspace. I usually would suggest tackling your problem with solutions but it sounds like you can't really get new furniture or move, so you're in a situ…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/19 12:00 AM
6

This is simple but not easy. You let him handle it. Not one more word. This is his responsibility to bear, entirely --- as head of household, as the person in charge of money, and as the only person who can get on base and do it. You don't live together yet, right? Do you lose your other housing soon and become dependant on his ability to house you? If so, what you need to do is make a back up plan for if he does not get housing, so that you aren't homeless. Be that getting a job and saving for …
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/19 11:55 PM
2

Both of the women you've spoken about are girlfriends and not wives -- I wonder if that's indicative of anything?
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/19 02:48 AM
5

Here is the thing with RP principles: you can't use them at any random man (or at your age, boy) and get results. That's why the foundation of this is vetting for a good man. It doesn't matter how beautiful, supportive, perfect you are. It doesn't matter if you do the no-contact perfectly, or any other strategy. He has failed the first stage of vetting and so you aren't going to get good things out of it. What part did he fail? The part where he shows he is interested in you and committed to you…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/19 05:25 PM
2

Validation. Power. As long as he is stringing you along, he has the power. When you are the one cutting him out, you hold the power. He doesn't like that. Other women can't give him power over YOU. He doesn't love, value, respect, or necessarily even like you - he wants dominance, power, to maintain social hierarchy. Don't let him. Keep him on block and leave him on read when he sneaks through with new accounts. Feel free to send him a cease and desist letter if it escalates.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/19 06:16 PM
1

Male attraction doesn't hinge much on the admiration-type of respect, like ours does. C is feminine around him: carefree, relaxed to where she can be silly. She makes him feel masculine: has him carry heavy stuff, flirts, and admires him. He may not even fully understand the root of why she charms him as well as she does and is embarrassed by it. She may seem like a dumb bimbo to you but her girl game is on point. Her vetting sucks because she's looking for a man at work and thus trashing her re…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/19 06:53 PM
1

Read the book "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty". It explains the psychology behind we aren't assertive. It gives exercises and practical techniques for being more assertive. It is an amazing book and I can't reccomend it enough! Free PDFs are online too.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/19 06:46 PM
5

If you are unwilling to leave, please realistically realize you submit to a man who submits to his mom. His mom is your captain now. Live accordingly.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/19 04:14 PM
1

The short answer: a statistically significant amount. Exercise, good diet, and adequate sleep can all increase your T levels. Conversely, stress (especially chronic stress), lack of sleep, inactivity, or bad eating habits can lower it. You will have a genetic predisposition to a certain portion of the normal human range, which you can think of as where your starting line is-- but your actions will determine how far from there you can and will go.
/r/askTRP17/04/19 07:42 AM
1

Human sexual strategy is almost always tied to resource provisioning, since raising our offspring requires such a high investment of resources and time. This article discusses a few examples of polyandry that are resource based, such as keeping arid farmland undivided and within the family. theatlantic.com/amp/article/272726/
/r/askTRP16/04/19 04:42 AM
1

A simple phrase helps me. "Perfect is the enemy of good."
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 10:35 PM
4

Your needs must be met in a relationship, too. If the management of his autism doesn't leave room for you, that's tricky because he obviously can't compromise his care. If you really want to make this work, I might suggest looking into a couple counselor or general counselor that specializes in working with people on the spectrum because there are probably techniques of communication and strategies that work better than the standard neurotypical advice. However, there are some hard questions you…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 10:23 PM
5

He isn't your captain. He isn't even his own captain. He also is not your husband. He is your boyfriend. Boyfriend, aka man you are seriously vetting for the role of husband. Do you really want to marry this man?
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 07:57 PM
12

Don't bring sexual strategy into the workplace. Consider reading a blog called "ask a manager". She covers a lot of sticky work situations, and you may pick up some strategies you can use well here.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 06:53 PM
1

You also have to look at who the advice is targeted to. If you are married, your vetting period is over and now your job is to admire, respect, and follow--- just as his is to protect, cherish, provide, and lead. Entire sidebar books of ours, like Fascinating Womahood, are oriented to married women and don't even address single ones. That being said, we often tell posters in this sub to keep vetting their partners, to think critically about what problems mean for their dynamic, and that you can'…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 06:21 AM
3

Make sure you are legally married before you buy that house! Part of that will help ease your anxiety about putting all your savings into it. Because it's not your savings alone anymore. The book "Surrendered Wife" has a great suggestion for this. Laura Doyle basically advises to create a monthly budget for yourself that is realistic - groceries, gas, treats, classes, whatever you usually DO spend money on - and have your partner just give that to you in lump sum at once. If you save out of that…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/19 01:50 AM
3

Attraction is a vital cornerstone. Here, you have two issues that can't be treated at all the same, though. I think you can approach the fashion one easily: on the next gift giving occasion, in addition to the gift for him, throw in a nice button up or the kind of shirt you like him in. Or, next time you shop for yourself, bring him the shirt and his favorite snack as a "just because" gift and say you were thinking if him while out last weekend. Mention that you so liked it when he wore shirt XY…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/19 06:17 PM
30

Many men eventually want to settle down with a good woman and have kids... but few young ones do. You sound like you are in your early 20s (kinda basing off your profile, ft. juul pods and modelos). At that age, you are right that many men aren't committed to relationships and traditional families, and this is 10000x trueif you are running with a party crowd (again, based on first impressions from your profile). You may need to explore a change of pace in your social circles. You may also consid…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/19 12:17 AM
7

He was honest with you. He doesn't want to be monogamous with you, right now--and right now is when you sound like you want to play for keeps. You don't need to ghost him and his family, but I would take several steps back from him. Treat him like just a male friend, and keep the kind of relationship with him that you wouldn't hesitate to mention to a man you were interested in marrying. I would date others and get on with it. Don't waste your best years hoping for him to get his party years out…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 11:39 PM
1

Gosh, that's quite a conundrum. I see why you felt so bewildered and surprised by his reaction!
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 03:19 AM
1

I only just found time to watch your video in full. You have such a calm, relaxed presence and I can see you being the magic type of mom who can make everything okay with just a hug! I really relate to your burnout experience. I experienced the same while in college, working on a research lab and working a part time job, while I had a partner at home who was not contributing very much. I was fulfilling so many masculine roles, but I wasn't feeling energized or heartened or excited by them like m…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 02:46 AM
1

Is it possible your partner feels like public displays of affection and gratitude like this are too mushy and/or distasteful? Does he have a track record of wanting to keep his professional and private life very separate? Is there any possibility he's going to become a superhero, professional spy or assassin, or some other field in which he wants to keep your identity secret so his enemies don't target you? ...Okay, maybe the last one was a stretch! But I am trying to list some more generous-hea…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 01:07 AM
2

No, but I found a copy of the former on Google Books. There are a few pages [edit: several chapters!] missing but for folks who want to get a feel for the book, a LOT of it is here! I'll be perusing it tonight, so thank you for the reccomendation. https://books.google.com/books?id=vCM8oMS0OXMC&pg=PA145&lpg=PA145&dq=connie+grogsby+how.to.talk+ti+your+husband&source=bl&ots=_OXOtoj8Su&sig=ACfU3U0fKtEwlj3jV2q3FfMSXiSRDQ766Q&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwik04O217fhAhVUnJ4KHQhHAI8Q6AEwCXoECAQQAQ#v=onepage&q=c…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 12:23 AM
9

I've definitely learned to keep my mouth shut in public about a lot of my values -- even the people who ask me my secrets to a happy relationship often react with a bit of a sneer when I suggest what I feel are really neutral and easy toes-in-the-water to RP, like don't suggest improvements to him uninvited, show trust in his decisions, and consciously choose to look at his good qualities. I don't even want to imagine what they'd say if I shared the more challenging ideas, like letting him lead …
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 12:00 AM
3

I think this article is interesting but it doesn't paint the fullest picture. Like there is the quote where the man says he didn't have to do anything, she just had to change her attitude-- it makes it seem like he didn't have to put in much work. But realistically the man has to do a LOT when his wife surrenders, because he is picking up responsibility and mental load that she is putting down.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/19 11:57 PM
2

I think you are correct, to some degree, but not for the reasons you think. In our current society, women are exhausted from trying to have it all... work, family, hobbies, social life. Few people get 8 hours of sleep a night, and recent research has shown women need more sleep than men, with some women's bodies seeming to need 9-10 hours of sleep for maintaining health rather than 8. With what few hours are left, it isn't surprising you would observe the women around you aren't running.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 07:42 PM
3

As a fellow Asian, I'd like to gently remind you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the stereotypical Indian girl or woman, and absolutely no need to distance yourself from one of the cultures that raised you. You sound like a young woman who may have a bit of internalized racism and sexism pointed toward yourself, if you feel a need to distance yourself other women and/or (one of) your culture(s). That being said, you want to be the best version of the person that is authentically you.…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/19 12:16 AM
2

People are very good at lying to get what they want, which is why part of vetting is just taking your time. See if they are consistent to their word. You did the right thing and you DID get properly because the man showed himself to be a sleaze before you slept with him or invested yourself in him significantly! So, give yourself credit. About your profile... I think the kink in question will really change my answer. If it's something like mild bdsm, I wouldn't mention it on your profile because…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 07:20 PM
10

You should never, ever come to a mindset, philosophy, or opinion because you are disgusted by the comportment of its opposition. You should come to it because it rings true for you and you wholly believe it. The idea of "XYX turned me away and into an ABC" makes you sound like a reactive automaton - as if you'd be a feminist if only they were warmer to you. You should embrace or reject an idea based on its merit.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 05:29 PM
2

You're allowed to set any boundary you want, absolutely any - as long as you're willing to enforce it and accept the consequences of doing so. You can set a boundary about this. A certain contingent of men like to throw the word "insecure" like it is a character fault and good, solid women never feel like this. Flip this on its head. If your man is your leader, protector, and provider, he will want to make sure you feel safe and stable with him. If he isn't offering any reassurance or comfort bu…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 01:53 AM
1

Biologically, humans are designed to have kids that survive into reproductive age and also to support our communities so the other young make it to reproductive age... and then we are designed to feel stressed and die when we no longer feel useful and fulfilled. There are myriad ways to contribute to your community, via work, charity/service, or any other route to fulfillment (ie honing an art or craft). The good news is we have moved into a day and age where you can pick your destiny to a degre…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/19 09:12 PM
6

You did a dangerous thing by agreeing to financially support a man you're not married to. You're investing but have no real security that his success will yield any return for you. At this point, you really only have two choices. One is to start lowering your investment in the relationship by asking him to carry equal share of the bills because you don't want combined finances indefinitely and don't want to have them combined til marriage. Realize this could be very damaging to your relationship…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 05:08 PM
5

To me, part of the man's job as protector and leader of our household, is to comport himself in a way which makes me feel secure on his ship. Checking out other women in my presence -- oof. Not building that sense of security. Remember, RP submission is for a man who conducts himself like a captain. In addition to being hurtful to the wife/gf, I find it a generally tasteless behavior for men to obviously check women out! It makes me uncomfortable to be on the receiving end of this behavior. I've…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/19 04:21 PM
31

In our home, we have cultivated a culture of gratitude. My partner makes wonderful pourover coffee. Mine is perfectly alright, but his is amazing. So he gets up early and makes us coffee. Every single day before I leave for work, he gets a big kiss and a uniquely worded "Thank you for my coffee". When he comes home from work, I try to have a chore or two done because I get back an hour early. He always notices and thanks me, dishes or vacuuming or organizing, he always sees it. When he comes hom…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 05:15 PM
1

I think the best solution, if you can afford one, is to hire an interior decorator to look at your space and help come up with a nice marriage of the two aesthetics. Or, you can Google search "country meets modern decor" or some such term - this is a VERY common tension point in the interior decor world. You are in good company!
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 02:08 AM
4

Most women are not toxic to each other. Part of swallowing the red pill is vomiting up your internalized misogyny: femininity is not bad and other women shouldn't be seen as if they are fundamentally adversarial. We aren't. You're may be surrounded by toxic people and need to get a new social circle. There are some arenas where folks can be very cliquey and wary of outsiders - try to see if you're a newcomer to an insular subculture. That may explain part of it, and only you can decide if it's w…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/19 01:59 AM
10

If you're new to the red pill journey, it can be a jarring change for a man to be treated as head of household. The weight of the responsibility for a family is a BIG one, and its all suddenly placed on him! If a man is given heavy responsibility without your adoration and expressed admiration, he can feel like he has all the stress of the captain and none of the prestige. It's easy early in the journey to make him feel this, and its part of the growth process for you both. You must be aware of …
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 09:44 PM
2

That sounds so wonderful, I'm going to have to read up on these routes. Thank you so much !
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/19 09:33 PM
10

I see a lot of the common ones have been addressed: offering sex and "wifey" domestic benefits without commitment or marriage (respectively). Another I'd like to chime in with is accepting bad behavior. Women with low self esteem sometimes let bad behavior slide, hoping to win points as the "chill" or "low maintenance" gf.
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 06:12 AM
1

this too shall pass. it hurts let go of the fairytales. there are many other routes to attracting women than looks alone, but so long as you fill your head with petulance and bitterness, most of those avenues will remain closed to you.
/r/askTRP23/02/19 05:54 AM
4

Dresses are wonderfully easy because there is no outfit to put together. A blouse/skirt combo under a peacoat, scarf, tights and knee high boots is a great winter look, too, and may be cheaper in terms of most outfits for your buck. If your partner craves variety in your looks, 3 neutral tone skirts and 3 brighter or patterned shirts (or vice versa) with 2 different scarves = tons of cold weather looks. Transition to summer by trading the scarf for a delicate necklace and boots for flats/heels/e…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/19 05:31 AM
1

yet here you are, pondering their dealbreakers. why keep wasting your time?
/r/askTRP23/02/19 05:18 AM
2

You can use TRP to get bitter or get better. 100% your call.
/r/askTRP23/02/19 05:11 AM
3

why not the 2??? seems shallow to me. young women have natural abundance and hypergamy drives the choice of the best available partner. having a fit body helps in so many facets of life, including here. be honest with yourself: if you had the chance to sleep with a woman you consider a 5 or a woman you consider a 9, would it be a real question?
/r/askTRP23/02/19 02:26 AM
2

do you go after obese women? 2s and 3s with nice hearts?
/r/askTRP23/02/19 02:22 AM
2

It is a very fun "how we met" story and I love sharing it when I get the chance. Like you, I've found the people I meet on trail to be so interesting, many different walks of life but all full of marvelous stories and adventure. I haven't gotten to any of the European trails yet but I would love to do one soon. Is St James the one you'd reccomend most highly?
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/19 11:51 PM
11

I met the love of my life on a long distance trail. We started walking together for the day... and the next... and the next...
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/19 07:16 PM
2

You're using red pill ideas to justify your low self esteem, absolute lack of boundaries, and inability to assert yourself. Submission from a woman who doesn't know what she wants and doesn't have boundaries, is like commitment from an unattractive man with no career or social skills. It's not valuable, and he doesn't value you.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/19 07:45 PM
8

I treat my partner like a king and I am the most spoiled princess I've ever met, too. In a good relationship, you both receive the level of attention and the gestures of love you seek. If a mellow night in is your ideal date, no need to justify your desires. If you want more but are tempering yourself because you don't think you can get it... that is a problem and perhaps your friend put a finger on the pulse of your dissatisfaction.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 08:13 PM
7

Vulnerability is just about being open and honest about who you are, what you want, what you feel. It's not mandatory to have trauma to reveal to be vulnerable. Charmed lives have as much opportunity for vulnerability as ones full of strife, because honesty and trust are at the core of it. The difference between vulnerable and needy is that one is expressing what they feel but not hinting or wanting the other person to solve their problems - only to bear witness and be present, whereas neediness…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 08:06 PM
13

The secret to aging gracefully is not wrinkle prevention. By all means, do the best you can for your body! But aging gracefully generally refers to embracing yourself as you are - dressing tastefully and beautifully for your age, and wearing makeup to enhance your best features rather than make futile efforts to try to cover up things like loose skin and wrinkles. There used to be a phrase "mutton dressed like lamb" to refer to folks that did the opposite. Do not underestimate the feminine power…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/19 07:53 PM
3

"People will treat you and respect you based on how you treat yourself, not based on how you treat them." I want to echo this. It is so important to remember.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/19 07:29 PM
10

I actually disagree here. She was in a headspace where she accepted many terribly unacceptable and unhealthy things - unless she fixes these patterns quickly she is liable to lose years to another terrible relationship. 1) Expenses so high you must be working 7 days a week - unsustainable, insanely unhealthy. A sound person would trim the fat rather than run themselves ragged for what sound like someone else's luxuries. Bad boundaries, low self respect. 2) Taking on role as provider AND home mak…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/19 07:25 PM
4

I wrote a post for the new years you may find helpful to peruse. Plus, the book suggestion in the comments are great. https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/a97qg7/10_books_to_read_in_2019/?utm_source=reddit-android
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/19 07:06 PM
8

Your dad cheated, and now any behavior that reminds you of him becomes suspect as cheating. This is major baggage, and it is 100% on YOU. Until you work to heal this unhealthy thinking, you will never be able to decipher between a gut feeling based on reasonable observation versus baggage that's making you come off as a controlling, clingy, cynical and/or hysterical. Unhealthy behaviors like this are also a good way to screen out good men. Those who are healthy, put together, and have options...…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/19 06:56 PM
4

Mine has, for the last few years, gotten prints of his favorite photos of us as a family that were taken in the last year. I swap them out in the frames and put the old ones into an album, and make us some warm cozy drink like cocoa or chai or cider. Then we invariably end up looking at the old albums and reminiscing fondly together. It's a very cozy, snug way to spend time. However, I don't think Valentine's Day should be viewed as a day to reward women for being super. If you see it that way, …
/r/RedPillWomen05/02/19 10:46 PM
2

I struggle with this one a lot, and I welcome any thoughts. I try to show him he is my everything, but the fact is that my career moves us a lot. 2 or 3 times in a year is pretty routine. This makes a career very difficult for him, since he's not a stay at home spouse. Usually the shortterm jobs available to him are thus just jobs, rather than career builders. He has expressed he feels torn, because my career allows us to live in the beautiful rural places he has dreamed of, and to travel a lot,…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/19 10:04 PM
2

This is at the core of it. The goal is to be the person who wants to bring your coughing husband a cup of tea or soup or medicine, not just one who can pretend to sound caring.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 08:20 PM
1

I'm seeing a lot of a sentiment that these women don't vet well or are easy. And that's likely true to some degree - but only because most people vet terribly. Still, I would like to add another element: if you are beautiful and feminine, you're such a rare asset that you often really do have the pick of the litter. There are so many wonderful, generous, strong, kind men out there when you are young. So if you've got a good RMV and SMV, good men can be easy to find. The problem occurs when you e…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 08:16 PM
3

You have to learn to ask for your reasonable needs and you need to learn to catch yourself when you're being unfair. 1.Timing. Don't bring heavy stuff into light hearted time like sexting. If you have kinks you're uncertain about, you need to bring them up in a time you two set aside to be emotionally safe and set for talking about it. Asking for what you need. You didn't let him know what you needed. Your anxiety and shame are obvious to you because you're overwhelmed by feeling them. He can't …
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 08:09 PM
10

Why are most of your dates at his house? The answer kinda hinges on that. If you're a homebody and would rather go to his home than out on the town, it's kinda different than if he doesn't want to take you anywhere. I personally think a young woman should not deliver herself on a silver platter like this, especially at an early stage in a relationship. If he isn't investing effort or resources in the way you are, you're setting yourself up for heartbreak after a year as his plate.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/19 08:01 PM
4

You really buried the lede here... Your family has money problems, cash is tight, but your husband is gambling. This is your issue, not having to delay your family visit by a few weeks.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/19 07:10 PM
1

I am not sure how divorce debt is divided without a prenup, honestly. But in my original post. I'm not talking about the event of a divorce. I'm talking about if assets are being seized due to debt, liens, or other such measures while the couple is still together. For example, a husband's home that is protected as pre-marital due to a prenup can not have a lien placed upon it based on the wife's failure to follow through a legal debt or obligation. However if the home were not protected, it may …
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/19 12:14 AM
5

One thing I think people often forget to factor in this discussion is that a prenup can protect your assets from other financial problems than divorce- things like debt. With the percentage of young people with huge student loans, this is a conversation we must be having. Prenups can still protect men and women who never intend to split up!
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/19 08:54 PM
2

I am in the pinup community & see many plus sized women really rocking those dresses. There are plenty of looks that aren't costumey or over the top 50s, more like classic and stylish. Lots of dark colors available if you're a closet goth like me, too. Some brands to consider are Vixen & Pinup Girl Clothing ($$$ but last forever). Shapewear can be a big help too to get a firmer silhouette. Spend the money on nice clothes and accessories now. Looking good will help you feel good, and this has a g…
/r/RedPillWomen29/01/19 09:12 PM
1

You're mixing up two issues. The solution to being codependent is not making a man feel manly. Why the two topics are even in the same post is hard for me to wrap my head around. You can make a man feel masculine by being a feminine woman. The contrast will make him feel wonderful. However, you shouldn't be worrying about making any man feel any way quite yet. It's really important for you to figure out why you are behaving in self described codependent ways & stop the thought patterns that lead…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 01:48 AM
5

You're mixing up two issues. The solution to being codependent is not making a man feel manly. Why the two topics are even in the same post is hard for me to wrap my head around. You can make a man feel masculine by being a feminine woman. The contrast will make him feel wonderful. However, you shouldn't be worrying about making any man feel any way quite yet. It's really important for you to figure out why you are behaving in self described codependent ways & stop the thought patterns that lead…
/r/RedPillWomen28/01/19 01:48 AM
6

We hold the key. Men feel this urge so strongly that TRP advises them to see multiple women at once so as not to develop beta provider tendencies. Being truly feminine can bring this out of most men. Not every feminine women can inspire it in every man, of course: attraction is a complex calculus. But the same man will treat a feminine and vulnerable woman very differently than a more masculine or independent one.
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/19 11:05 PM
28

It shouldn't affect your own ability to learn and grow, unless you're very impressionable and tend to mimic your peers rather than be your own person. But if you ARE this way, it's a reasonable consideration. Red pill does not mean conservative politics by default. However, if you're conservative, single, and want a conservative partner, you may be greatly limiting your pool of people to meet. Ask yourself how the move will help you meet your life goals. Don't move just because you have the chan…
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/19 08:24 PM
5

None of this is based in science, just some woman's intuition... but it sounds like you've known this man for a decently long time and he's a safe, reliable person. Ans being engaged adds another feeling of security and comfort. Is it possible that, now that you feel you have such a secure foundation, you are starting to feel free to really explore and look frankly at the trauma of your last relationship? Often it is hard to be honest with ourselves about pain while we are still experiencing it.…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/19 01:19 AM
3

Well, the advice is worth what you paid for it. Come back in a few weeks with a field report for us to let us know what he did want.
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/19 12:54 AM
2

Everyone here is giving you a very consistent amswer, but you seem determined not to believe them based on your pushback. Why is that? Are you hoping one of us will say "he misses you, he realizes you're a unicorn and the love of his life, and he's trying to get you back"? We won't, because nothing you've written here suggests it. If he hasn't said anything or declared an intention to win you back, he wants your comfort, attention, validation and sex, and he knows it's easier to get from you tha…
/r/RedPillWomen24/01/19 07:28 PM
4

This is a health concern, then. It may be indicative of a cardiovascular condition, or a hormonal imbalance, or even am expression of anxiety. The honest truth is that if it doesn't matter enough to him for him to lead, to take his own initiative and make a doctor's appointment... he is probably also not going to do the work the doctor prescribed in terms of exercise or diet changes or meds. So needling him to go or making an appointment for him is probably a hopeless endeavor, and I encourage y…
/r/RedPillWives23/01/19 11:33 AM
6

One thing I've noticed is that we tend to expect trans women to be more feminine than the average "cis" women to be taken seriously - hyperfeminine dress, perfect hair, full face of makeup, heels that make my Achilles tendons ache just looking at them. I hope you find in RPW a space to explore your authentic femininity, without pressure. Welcome.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/19 03:59 AM
2

Just FYI, you've posted this twice today under two usernames.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/19 11:06 PM
5

Oh boy. He doesn't sound very financially steady if he has been living at home rent free for over a decade and still can't afford his own place. This is such a big red flag. He should be sitting on considerable savings if he's been at home for so long without paying rent, utilities, groceries.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/19 06:51 PM
13

It sounds like you have a substantial gut feeling that he doesn't want to move in with you for just you, but the additional freedoms it represents. On one hand, this is a big red flag. 33 and living at home is one thing if he is taking care of his parents, but if not.... it sounds like you may not have vet well. If you really find him high value and have faith/evidence that he does have independent living skills, it's valid to say you'd like him to get his own place, and ask him to set a timelin…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/19 04:54 PM
1

This is the girl who threatened suicide? ANY time someone threatens suicide, the compassionate and good action is to discreetly call 911. Tell them where you are and that you're with someone who threatened to kill themself. Either the mandatory 3 day psychiatric hospitalization will help them on the path to getting the help they need, or they'll learn very quickly that this is not something to lie about.
/r/askTRP13/01/19 07:15 PM
2

Making male friends will be a lot easier than getting a South American camelid into one of the most remote regions of the Eurasian continent.
/r/askTRP13/01/19 07:12 PM
29

If you disagree with him about what to DO, you can say, "I don't fully agree with X, but I will fully support you no matter what you decide". But when it comes to what you THINK, you really can't use a cop out line like "okay you're right". It's frustrating because everyone involved knows you don't really think that. Why not try being honest, instead? Say how you feel. "I was enjoying the debate before but I am feeling a little tired of it now. Can we agree to disagree?" Or, "I feel myself getti…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/19 06:55 PM
9

I'm going to be kind of direct, but is your SMV (or self confidence) really low? You don't respect this man. You see the way he spends money as "blowing it", you see his grades as unimpressive, you think he isn't as intelligent as you. Why are you staying with a man you don't respect? You can't just throw RPW/submission at a random man and turn him into a leader. You especially can't submit to a mentally unwell person and have a good outcome (someone with a well managed illness is different than…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/19 09:44 PM
1

If you prefer roundabout hints, you could bring it up in passing... like show him an article on your phone about some bridezilla ring shaming. Use it as an opportunity to express that you feel the ring design should matter less to women than the specialness of having something picked out by the love of your life. Or you could leave your Pinterest board open on your phone or laptop when in the room together, then leave to take a shower.
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/19 04:15 PM
7

Reconstructive surgery doesn't carry any social stigma, so I don't see why not... If it's safe and your body can handle surgery, you'll likely feel like you have your "own" face back without the injury/scar and that's a beautiful thing. I had a 100% elective surgery done. I got a breast augmentation to take me from not-even-an-A to just under a C. I felt pretty before but just not quite "whole", my chest was more ribs than breast. I am very, very happy with the results. The honest truth is that …
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 11:06 PM
9

A man sees the amount of effort you put into your appearance as a reflection of your affection and esteem for him. By neglecting your appearance, you're demonstrating that you don't actually give a crap if he thinks you look good. Your neglect of your appearance tells him that you take his attraction for you for granted; if there is $50 to spend on your looks or a new luxury for the kids (not necessity), if you spend it on the kids then you're letting him know he isn't your #1, and that his need…
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/19 04:38 AM
12

RP is a toolbox to get what you want. Is a nonmonogamous husband what you want? If it is not, you absolutely don't need to accept it. It also sounds like you two have either a dead or dying bedroom. Bringing new partners in for the lower libido spouse (your husband) usually is a recipe for intense resentment and the collapse of a union.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/19 02:04 AM
3

Your post has hardly any information on your history or challenges as a couple, nor what you personally have been bringing to the table. How can we possibly help you? If you want us to tell you that yes, he resigned and you should file for divorce... well, I won't tell you that. There are many reasons even a good man would say your needs don't matter right now - chiefly, if your behavior has shown him in a long term and/or significant way that his needs don't matter to you. This can cause him to…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/19 05:00 AM
12

This post is vague and lacks specifics, so we can't comment on it as helpfully. I'm wondering if your two strategies are really 'six of one, half dozen of the other's and you can't see it, or if one of you is being absolutely asinine/ inconsiderate, but don't have details to go off of. So here is the vague, generalist answer: You've been dating a month. You're still vetting. If he approaches the basics of day to day life in a way which feels feels abrasive to you, consider if you could be happy …
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/19 04:38 AM
2

I didn't know there was a sequel. What's the difference in material covered between "why men love bitches" and "why men marry bitches"? These are going on my list! Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 09:13 PM
6

We are reading Helen Andelin's Fascinating Womanhood. U/JanuaryArya is leading it. :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 07:29 PM
4

You are stating an utter falsehood as though it is truth: that people eventually bore of talking about themselves and their hobbies. This may be your personal experience, but it's your experience because you are not participating in the conversation properly. The only way that people bore of talking about themselves, I am sorry to say, is if the person they are engaging makes it an off-putting experience. Perhaps not so off-putting that you are immediately dropped, but a problem no less. I recco…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 05:47 PM
5

Two wrongs don't make a right. Your job is not to put up with bad behavior because you once behaved badly. In fact, it's emotional abuse for someone to tell you otherwise. What you do is: (1) Apologize truly and sincerly (acknowledge your bad behavior, acknowledge how it hurtful/inconsiderate/etc it was, do not justify yourself, do not assign them any blame); if you're working on the problem you can also add what you're doing to ensure you don't repeat the behavior (2) Either the person accepts …
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 05:01 PM
1

RP is a toolbox for self improvement and for establishing healthy, fulfilling relationships/marriages. What men find attractive about you is going to be the same if you're an autistic woman or neurotypical one. Femininity, youth, beauty, grace of heart, etc. However, what you need to ask yourself is: will the RP life path make me happy? Tools are only useful if they help further your goals. The best saw in the world is useless if you're trying to hammer in a nail. SO... Will being a housewife br…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 12:03 AM
3

How much does he see his own porn use as a problem? If his porn use is something he doesn't like yet can't put down, it's comparable to an unmanaged addiction and he's not in a fit place to be leading your sex life in new directions u til he gets his affairs in order. If he is fine with his porn use but you are not, and his periods of low use are actually him appeasing you.... then I must ask you why you stay in a relationship that is not meeting YOUR needs. It sounds like the porn isn't entirel…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/18 08:31 PM
5

I'm in! Thanks for putting this together.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/18 08:17 PM
3

I think others have covered the red flag aspect thoroughly so I won't comment on it, except to say I echo the voices of the women here. One practical way to address this is, next time you two are going out TOGETHER and he says something hurtful, put down your brush or your liner. Look him in the eyes, and say, "Ouch. Is that what you really think of me?" Then stay silent and wait for an answer. If he says something negative about other women/ you not being like that, "That hurts to hear too. Is …
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/18 05:56 PM
10

Older parents being late 30s to late 40s. Not 28. Look, a lot of men on red pill forums are there because they made an abject mess of their masculinity and are learning or re-learning healthy ways. You will hear a lot of unhealthy things in that part of the internet, I compare their pained attitudes to the way you ache after a workout - the unpleasant part of growth that can sometimes give you a bad attitude. Internalizing the words of men reforming themselves rather the words of men who are pil…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/18 10:11 PM
2

I don't know about poor work ethic being a SAHM thing. Most SAHMs I know work very, very hard. I've met women raised by SAHMs who are very passionate about domestic skills and often work within one - design/decorating, cooking, teaching, nannying, baking, etc. They may not be career driven in that they don't aim to be baking czars by 30, but they still bring their best and are successful because they love it. It's okay not to want to put your heart and soul into a pizza joint. But it is vitally …
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/18 05:18 PM
5

I struggle to imagine a woman finding a man who wants to build a life and family with her/her children who would want to stamp out their advent activity tradition. Men are humans who enjoy fun activities too, and its usually women who are the keepers and tenders of such cultural practices as holidays anyways - think who is decorating the home, cooking festive things, etc. Men enjoy the holidays we create. It is part of what we manage in the domestic sphere. A secondary thought... Playing devil's…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 10:34 PM
2

Your nun mode goal is to heal from the anxiety and stress and self-esteem damage from the cheating relationship. That's not healthy or good. I get this sense that you feel if you were just the perfect RPW in some way, he wouldn't have cheated. This isn't true. If a man has a personal ethic that permits cheating, or personal issues that drive him toward it, then nothing you do can prevent it. You can only vet so you don't date those men.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 09:03 PM
2

It sounds like you live together and are dependent on him for housing? Make an exit plan. Start today. Figure out how much money you need for a rental of your own and start saving toward it. Or, see if any family has a place for you to stay for a month or two while you save and find a place. Move out while he's at work, and honestly break up with him by a phone call. Don't tell him where you have moved. He sounds unstable and dangerous, like he may assault you. After that, you need to see if you…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 08:57 PM
8

I actually don't think you owe it to your children to keep traditions and such 100% the same. It's very important to model to children that they are NOT the center of your universe! They may whine or mope but learning to be flexible, adaptable and joyful in the face of change, is perhaps one of the best life skills a parent may bestow. To shelter them from having to change is extreme pampering and frankly unnecessary. If you find a man who wishes to blend into the family with you, who shares you…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 08:33 PM
5

I think the "never say no" policy works in healthy relationships where the man is functioning as her protector by watching her for cues of fitness/lack of fitness. If she looks sick, or if she seems touched-out, or if she simply doesn't appear receptive, such a man doesn't initiate and trespass upon her devotion to him. I never say no to my partner - because he doesn't initiate if he senses I would want to say no. He doesn't put me in that scenario. He leads, and gratefully his leadership doesn'…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 02:47 AM
2

I think this may be a red flag that you're 27, unfulfilled in your relationship, and instinctively aware that if you're going to hit the dating market again, you need to do it sooner rather than later. Is your relationship on the path to marriage or lifelong commitment? If so, you can buckle down and work to change your dynamic - but you can't do this unless you're really and truly, firmly en route to marriage. If you're shaky on the long term potential of this relationship, you don't want to be…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 02:32 AM
11

Your husband has a massive problem. It sounds like you don't know what it is, either - depression, illness, addiction, but it surely is something. Traditional books like Fascinating Womanhood reccomend leaving your husband if he deliberately stops providing for the family. It does not necessarily mean divorce but it does mean moving out until the situation resolves itself. If you want to preserve your union I think it's really important to remove yourself from a situation that is decimating your…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/18 07:47 PM
8

Normal advice - lingerie, nice meals, spontaneous blowjobs etc- doesn't really apply for lower libido men. That's advice for making a high libido man happy. So, put that out of your mind. The same pick up line that seduces, flatters, and enthralled a HL man will humiliate, pressure, exhaust an LL man. Put your lingerie in the bottom drawer out of sight for a little while and completely ease up on the sexual pressure. Right now, he's tired and he already knows you want sex... every single time yo…
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/18 05:24 PM
3

There is a wonderful book I can not reccomend enough called "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty". You can find free copies online, but it's not an expensive purchase either. It not only teaches you practical techniques for communicating assertively (but in ways that are kind, compassionate, loving) but also talks about the developmental psychology behind why people aren't assertive. I found those chapters very healing, as I was able to look back at my own childhood and identify where I had learned/int…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/18 07:04 PM
4

As long as you keep engaging in the world, you'll keep having things to talk about. There is so much to learn and explore, always! Keep studying and reading, listen to new music and podcasts, watch movies or shows or plays or documentaries. Try new sports, new restaurants, new recipes, visit new places or just read about them. There is never any shortage of stuff to see and do in the world. Also, learn to talk to him about his hobbies in a genuine way that doesn't feel forced. It will take pract…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/18 02:11 AM
3

Why not dip your toe in the water with a brown to blue balayage/ombre? If you hate it, your whole head isn't committed, and it can be a more "grown up" way to have colorful hair.
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/18 01:21 AM
1

When he asks what you think, say it once and don't defend it again. If he replies with a counterargument, you can say, "I don't agree with you but I will support your decision no matter what", or you can start your disagreeing statement with, "I respect that you will make the final decision on this and I will back you on it. But I personally feel XYZ." But once you've presented your point, don't go out of your way to defend it. In fact, it can sometimes be actively helpful to shut down his attem…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/18 08:33 PM
2

This sounds manipulative. He's trying to show you that if you present any unavailability to him at all, be it via a brb on text or having plans for the day, that it will cut into your time with him. He is slowly conditioning you to not make any plans so that your availability to him is central to your schedule... and doing it via negative conditioning. You know that coffee invite would not have been issued if you were available. You also know, deep down, that a man who wants to have coffee with …
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/18 08:12 PM
11

The relationship the mother models for her is going to be the one she patterns after. Even women who say they never want to be like their mothers often have moments of "Oh my god, I've become my mom". Being the type of man you want her with is only half the equation. If mom doesn't respect dad, then whatever type of man he is will become what she learns to see as weak and undesirable. So many women are fed up and bored of and disrespect their beta suburban husbands in view of their daughters... …
/r/askTRP02/12/18 07:53 PM
11

Fascinating Womanhood relates an experience of a man who visited an overweight woman in a happy marriage, and said the key to her husband's affection was her deep and frequently expressed gratitude and admiration for him. Men need to feel respected and needed in order to feel loved, and this is becoming more and more scarce in today's society. Frankly, any woman who can master this skill opens up a wide dating pool of men "above her league".
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/18 08:58 AM
2

Look, you're the creepy guy who graduated and still hangs around high schoolers. They're only talking to you because they want something and the only viable option to get it is to suck it up & go to the creepy dude.
/r/askTRP20/11/18 07:02 PM
5

Are there any special diets tailored to help folks with your condition? For example, my partner managed his low T with lifting and a diet rich in iron and a handful of other vitamins, and I know a girlfriend with PCOS has a diet that also helps her manage her hormones a bit. If you haven't already, consider chatting about this with your endocrinologist. Ramp up your exercise. Even if you're not losing weight, exercise keeps your skin clear and radiant, keeps you toned, and gives you energy to be…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/18 08:40 PM
1

Because you fight so hard for your right to have a say, he does too. Once you let him have the final say and respect his decision, and do it consistently, he will begin to take your perspective into consideration far more deeply than he did prior - because he will know he's deciding for both of you now. That is, if you've vetted for a good man with a generous heart and leadership qualities. This statement is not true of any man you pick off the street: you can't submit to anyone and have it cult…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 08:07 PM
4

There is a wonderful magic to the phrase "I can't". It leaves no room for argument, and it's honest, and it makes your man feel like your knight in shining armor when he picks up what you put down. Place no blame. Do not suggest you're exhausted because he didn't step up. Simply say, "Between working and studying, I just can't handle the household alone. I need some help, darling." Then, let him choose how to solve it. Maybe some tasks just go un-done. Maybe he hires a housekeeper. Maybe he pick…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 03:59 AM
4

If you think you get to dictate the terms of his behavior, you're a blue pill woman and a perfect match for him. Why not try a red pill experiment and solve conflicts as he would lead you to? And do it with a spirit of sweet submission, a happy heart. No eye rolls or dragging your feet or arguing. That said... If he knows of RP but won't put in the work, that's a HUGE red flag about the man he is.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 02:40 AM
1

This sounds like serious projection. Women don't see men as cheapened by the number of their sexual partners or how quickly they consent to sex - that is a very male perspective.
/r/askMRP16/11/18 02:24 AM
1

I would love to read it, if you're comfortable sharing !
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 10:26 PM
24

The best way to avoid looking like you're "trying to look young" is to avoid trendy items and lean towards more classic, timeless garments- in terms of silhouettes, shapes, patterns, colors, and fabrics. Women face a weird conundrum as they age, balancing more modest aesthetic without coming off as matronly. However, I think the most important thing is to dress in a way that makes you feel good and that your SO likes. I'd rather be in step with my partner and out of step with the world, than the…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/18 07:07 PM
7

In addition to some of the tried and true dealbreakers already listed, things for me that separate out good men from good men for ME: has a plan to contribute to the betterment of the world, be it through work, a passion project, volunteerism, activism, etc. enjoys my niche passions (endurance sports, bow hunting, travel to very remote and rural places) able to enjoy and thrive in a lifestyle where we move often, due to the nature of my work not intimidated or covetous of family wealth It's impo…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/18 08:43 PM
7

Honestly, I think the getting drunk/hiding it is setting a loud & clear message that he is willing to disregard your boundaries and conceal the information from you, and you're still uncomfortable because of that. The incognito mode photo stalking probably wasn't a big deal alone, but in context of this issue I see why it rankles. You don't feel like you have his full commitment and fidelity. Based on your other comments, you don't really respect him much. What's the glue here keeping you togeth…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/18 08:38 PM
1

Obesity kills. It shortens lifespans. It hinders quality of life. What is he so unbearably busy with? Few things are SO important that they can't be disrupted for the sake of health. Putting work before your own body is a seriously bad placement of priorities... but it's easy for a man who feels the need to provide a certain lifestyle for his wife. Be honest with yourself: do you feel your material desires and lifestyle put a certain performance pressure on him?
/r/RedPillWives18/09/18 01:30 PM
12

I get where you're going with this and it's a sweet message at the core, but hunter/ gatherer societies are not comprised of hunter men and cavewives who made a nest of the cave. She spent her days doing the backbreaking labor of gathering fruits, roots, and nuts. Anthropologists and archaeologists believe the bulk of a family's calories came from gathered sources. Women were sought after, via war or marriage, for their manual labor as much as anything else. If we are following the analogy, dual…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/18 03:28 PM
16

My entire point is to cultivate a celebratory mindset toward sex. It is this, above a dutiful devotion, that will keep a female libido high. I'm in the mood more often than he is! You're saying that a woman should get herself in the mood because she committed her sexuality to her man. I'm saying she should work to shift her entire paradigm, in a way which will keep her in the mood.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/18 02:24 AM
29

I don't see sex as something I provide or give to my partner to meet his needs. I see sex as a celebration of our love, a chance to connect, a place where nothing else in the world can intrude. It's absolutely sacred. The idea that I'm supposedly giving him sex in exchange for anything except sex in turn... I don't know. It feels a little insulting. I see our "exchange" as thus: (1) He leads, I follow; together we further the mission further than either of us could imagine performing alone. (2) …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/18 12:53 AM
30

You must always show your mother respect. If you two can not have a civil discussion, or if the discussions upset you, you are allowed to set a boundary about it. You can say, "Mom, I love you a lot and I don't want all our conversations to end up about politics. I'd really like to hear about what you're up to/ tell you about xyz/ etc". Then, be boring to have political conversations with. Don't be curt or rude in your replies, but agreement statements like "I know how much you care about Y", or…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 12:24 AM
5

Laura Doyle (author of Surrendered Wife) sometimes does workshops and such, that's one avenue you could explore.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 09:43 PM
33

This is where self care is so important. If you were tired to the point of crankiness, you did not need to make fajitas that night, even if having leftovers is more practical. Having to make a sandwich or buy lunch is not a big deal. But making your partner feel nagged, condescended to, and generally micromanaged... is a big deal, and it's bad. Men remember disrespect like women remember when he checks out another woman in front of them. If you took care of yourself, you wouldn't even have gotte…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/18 08:37 PM
1

The Surrendered Wife was written for a woman almost entirely in your shoes... read it ASAP!
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/18 11:01 PM
24

Look, every body has a set point where it's healthy. Pushing your body out of that zone for a man is like starting to smoke for a man - dangerous and unhealthy. He already seems attracted to you and interested, so don't stress that you're not his usual type - be a high quality woman who takes care of herself. It is not bad to be different from his exes... You must honor and respect your body rather than try to push it into a shape it does not want.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/18 12:35 PM
14

Rose gold is very trendy right now so its everywhere, and probably was recommended to him by the shop staff. I wouldn't stress about him forever buying you rose gold unless it happens again, honestly. There's nothing to address.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/18 05:06 AM
3

Then you know what to do - truly take a few steps back! If you have not yet, consider reading The Surrendered Single & Surrendered Wife if you need practical guidance on what letting him lead looks like. Best of luck to you!
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/18 08:04 PM
1

I actually think you're 100% in your analysis - but being RP aware and having a healthy level of self esteem will help OP recognize what is happening and move away from this situation, since it ultimately will not serve her best interests.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/18 08:00 PM
1

If you're already only hitting her up for Netflix and chill & bailing for anything more interesting, isn't she already just a plate? Or are you omitting what your relationship with her actually is?
/r/askTRP03/09/18 06:58 PM
7

Here is the real issue: if your partner is constantly capitulating to you on these big picture things, you run the risk of losing respect and attraction to him. That's what is freaking you out on an animal level - you want a man who wishes to marry you as part of HIS life and HIS frame and HIS mission (alpha behavior). A leader. Instead, right now you have a man that's only marrying you because he is in your frame, your mission, and naturally this makes you feel insecure in the relationship beca…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/18 06:33 PM
5

I mean, that's the thing about vetting. You don't have to coax blood from a stone, or leadership from a "phlegmatic" man. No young woman is so strapped for options that she needs to settle for the polar opposite of what she wants. So here is what you do: you find a man who steps up when you give him space to lead. You don't attempt to move forward romantically with any man that does not do this.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/18 04:36 AM
3

I'm amazed he's paying your rent at 5 months or let you move in for free this early, honestly! Five months without flowers isn't really enough time to bemoan a lack of them - let him give them to you on your one year anniversary!
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/18 01:33 AM
23

It's not a milk for free situation because he is providing for you. You have an allowance! It's not like you're splitting costs and also you're doing the housework. No man provides for a woman he doesn't want to build a life with in this manner. Is the man or the marriage more important to you ? He's already demonstrated his deep commitment to you.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/18 04:54 PM
2

Your previous partners neglected you. Yes, they neglected you in favor of video games but what you need to realize is that those men would not have been amazing partners to you if you magically erased video games from existence. They'd just neglect you in favor of binging T.V. shows or going out fishing or whatever escapism they could find. THEY were the problem and should be the target of your disgust, NOT the video game. I suggest you go humbly to your partner and apologize. Explain that you w…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/18 04:50 PM
12

Why would you give yourself, your time, or your commitment to a man who says things like "you don't give me a reason to want just you"? Why do you make someone your #1, who doesn't see you the same way? Because you lack self respect. Become someone YOU respect before you date anyone, because nothing you find in your current mental state will be good or healthy for you.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/18 04:43 PM
16

Let him know how glad you are to see him when you get home. It's okay to be exhausted. Let him spoil you a little! Come home, fall into his arms, put your hand on his chest and say how glad you are come home to him after a long day. Look into his eyes adoringly, kiss him, and then hide your face in his chest and say youre so tired. He'll probably send you off to bed himself, rather than begrudge you resting as soon as you get home! Or if you had a really bad and hard day, it's okay to say, "I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/18 03:38 PM
2

One of the easiest shifts is to always give people the benefit of the doubt. When someone does something hurtful or bad or just confusing, assume they came from a place of trying to be helpful and kind rather than deliberarely hurtful. Your friend wasn't late because they don't value your time, they were late because traffic sometimes just happens. Gratitude is a mindset, so you must practice is. Meditation is so helpful here. I'll be honest, I don't sit all Zen on a cushion to meditate; I sneak…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/18 03:39 PM
10

If it's not presenting financial hardship, have the wedding you and your fiance want. The reason extravagant affairs are linked to divorce is either (a) goimg into debt and the subsequent pressures; (b) caring about appearances more than the core of your relationship; (c) using a big wedding to mask a troubled relationship (same couple that later has a baby to try to fix something); or some combination there-of. If it's within your means and you both want it, it poses no risk to your relationshi…
/r/RedPillWives30/08/18 02:28 AM
2

Autism runs in families. However, the severity with which it manifests can really vary from, say, sibling to sibling. In terms of having kids, this means you run a much greater risk (than with other partners) of having autistic children in general, and more likely than other families to have a severely autistic child who would need life-long care. Are you ready to face this potential future?
/r/askTRP29/08/18 05:44 PM
16

Honestly, unless you're planning to find a mate at work (bad idea), it's probably better to have a more neutral persona at work. Feminine communication styles and body language are often seen as "lesser" in the work world, whereas masculine body language and communication is seen as strong, direct, and leadership material. If you're looking to advance your career at all, I wouldn't go out of your way to be especially feminine at work.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/18 05:07 PM
4

You are the one who successfully used online dating to find your husband, so I'm betting your input here is going to yield better results than mine. I concede my point.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/18 08:12 PM
2

Would love to know what books on interpersonal communications you'd reccomend!
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/18 07:22 PM
3

Indicator of interest
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/18 06:21 PM
5

Honestly, I think you may be shooting yourself in the foot by initiating the conversations and dates. It's not that every man you ask out automatically turns beta (or vice versa), but you lose out on a vetting step by doing this. If you want an assertive and bold man who believes in traditional masculinity, he will have internalized ideas about who is supposed to doing the chasing (he is). Is it possible to find a captain by messaging him first? Totally, but it's a lot harder than the other way …
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/18 05:06 PM
4

I think it's wonderful you're putting a reading list together. It feels good to always have a book to reach for! In addition to the wonderful reccomendations above: Fascinating Womanhood - Helen Andelin. How to Win Friends & Influence People - Dale Carnegie. For Women Only - Shaunti Feldhan. Early in the journey, it can feel like all you wamt to do is consume these materials amd see the world in a new light. Don't forget to also read regularly for the sheer pleasure of it in this time of discove…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/18 04:50 PM
21

Most women are passive aggressive because ww don't fully believe we can ask for what we want and then insist on it. If you're cold, simply say that walking to the station is not an option without your sweater. If seeing nature is important, simply say, "I really would like to go see nature instead." That being said, you should probably bring your own jackets and be responsible for your warmth.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/18 10:51 PM
5

There are two problems here. Self care. You aren't able to meet your own needs where you live, so you are frustrated. These feelings are valid, but you're projecting this additional frustration onto him too. Learn to distinguish, because this is not his fault or problem. His libido is lower than yours. You need to stop giving him pleasure without reciprocation, because this costs you. Often women do this because they don't want reciprocation and are doing it for their partners; doing this as oft…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/18 01:12 PM
14

RPW is predicated on submitting to a man because of his goodness and strength and commitment to you, NOT as a way to appease a moody, mentally ill man you have been seeing a few months. A captain doesn't do passive aggressive shit like let you feel something is "off" for weeks, they will draw clear boundaries- which will, in turn, make you feel secure because you won't be perpetually questioning if this action or that action is leading to his silent dissatisfaction. You can't submit to any man a…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/18 01:07 PM
1

Your only reasonable move is to move on. Work on yourself and see other people. Don't become his plate.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/18 04:00 PM
2

Just because he didn't try to have sex on the day he broke up with you doesn't at all mean that he doesn't want you as a plate now. Literally pumping and dumping you would be a move most decent guys wouldn't be proud of, but even decent guys sometimes spin plates. So it's totally plausible that he wouldn't want an exclusive relationship with you but still try to get the perks of companionship and sex from you.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/18 11:28 PM
1

I didn't get anything from your original post that you offered him no string sex and he denied it. Is that what happened ?
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/18 11:16 PM
2

Do you masturbate often? I know if I masturbate daily, it's like putting kindling on the flames - my libido is active. If I don't masturbate on days we don't have sex, a sort of inertia sets in and I'm more likely to be content going without sex. An added benefit to masturbating solo is you really learn to pleasure yourself. The more your body is in the habit of orgasming solo, the easier it is to relax and get there with a partner. Don't be afraid to please yourself (rub your clit) during penet…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/18 10:12 PM
3

No, it sounds like he wants to sleep with you without commitment - not because he fears the past but because he wants you as a plate.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/18 10:08 PM
2

I don't mean to make light of your turmoil, but the man says you're too quick to contradict and your response is to contradict him about it! I don't really think you can win this one. He's put you in a lose-lose position - pleading for him erodes your dignity even if you get him back. Cut your losses. You are young and your options are abundant.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/18 10:06 PM
7

He has been honest with you about the pace he can set: kids aren't even on the table for 5 years. And you want kids within 5 years. Realistically, this is dead in the water even without considering red flags like not kissing you.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/18 05:09 PM
1

god forbid one act from a place of self respect & abundance !
/r/askTRP24/08/18 04:36 PM
3

She already hard nexted you, what on earth do you mean "should I next?"... you weren't seriously thinking of asking her out again after that?
/r/askTRP24/08/18 05:01 AM
4

You need to give us more background. This post is structured unhelpfully. What's the specific problem (joblessness? lack of effort in finding one?), how long has it been a problem, how old are you (if you're 50 years from retirement, you're... 12-22?), how have you tried to approach this already?
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/18 08:33 PM
1

A throw blanket over dark furniture can brighten it up immensely! Get yourself a beige or black side table from Ikea ($25-30) if you don't have one. Set it next to your couch or lazy chair. Next, throw a green scarf across it. On top, place a cute but outdoorsy accent-- like a candleholder made from driftwood or antler. Next, toss some accent pillows in a matching green on your dark couch. Find photographs you like of outdoor scenes that go together - for example, a photo of a foggy redwood fore…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/18 03:56 AM
4

It doesn't sound like she freaked out, dude. From your own telling of it, she quietly just rode the bus and did not engage you.
/r/askTRP23/08/18 03:38 AM
76

RUN, don't walk! This is a man who cheated despite telling you everything in the relationship was "perfect" -- this is a Grade A, free-range manchild with no self control. If he thinks you're a good partner, the real deal, the woman he wants to marry and he STILL cheated... what do you think will happen when your relationship hits a true hurdle? How would he handle not having sex if you had a difficult pregnancy? If he had a hard time in his career? You'll never have fidelity with this man. But …
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/18 07:35 PM
6

Species are broadly lumped by the investment strategy with offspring. One strategy is to take your available reproductive resources and spread them widely: low investment in any one offspring but high output of offspring - say, spiders that lay 1,000 eggs. The other extreme is to have few offspring and invest almost all your reproductive resources in them. The more a species falls toward high investment in any one offspring, the higher the vetting for a mate. In species where the female has high…
/r/askTRP22/08/18 04:34 AM
4

Does she provide value as a sugar baby that some other woman can't or won't provide to You?
/r/askTRP22/08/18 03:19 AM
6

You're an alpha widow to the most alpha of tits. Probably time to just accept that you're ruined and gonna die alone.
/r/askTRP20/08/18 02:33 PM
1

If you have to wonder about a woman's figure on Tinder, it's either A) no prize or B) she has low self esteem about it and therefor isn't much of a prize herself. A woman with a good figure knows that she is in possession of a high value asset and will be sure to highlight it.
/r/askTRP20/08/18 02:21 PM
5

Don't tell him to get a new job. Don't encourage him to do so unless he brings it up, and for God's sake do NOT "remind" him to do it. Those are all synonyms for nagging, here. He hates his job and spends 8+ hours a day at it. Do you really think that he doesn't want to or constantly think about leaving? Do you think he forgets how much it sucks and need a reminder? Encourage him when he complains, show support when he mentions leaving or anything like that... but don't tell him to get another j…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/18 02:04 PM
5

You either read as a cholo or a late-stage hipster/try hard. If you're Asian you're unlikely to come off as the former. That being said, some people really rock them. I've seen indigenous women with one elevens (the traditional 3 stripes under the chin) who look very beautiful and classical, and some Pacific Islander men as well who looked venerable with their tattoos. If it's part of your culture I think it can be easier.
/r/askTRP19/08/18 10:10 AM
1

There is literally a sidebar list of media to consume. Click on it.
/r/askTRP19/08/18 08:43 AM
5

Don't give unsolicited advice, especially about personal topics like health and weight. That's generally off putting. Based on this, it seems you may have a tendency to be overbearing and that can be a big, big turn off.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/18 03:03 PM
3

The following tips are for whem you need to look well rested but totally aren't: Hydrating eyedrops will make your eyes look brighter and more alert. Use a color corrector under your concealer for your eye bags. Use a highlighting or illuminating powder to brighten your eyes - dab some on your pinky and apply it to the inner eye near tear duct. If your eyes look "bored" (your natural lid position is half closed), try a subtle wing at the top of your upper lid. This will make it look more alert.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/18 12:03 PM
7

I think the exact same bullets apply to femininity, but the details are different. For example, a man can have goals to provide for a family; a woman can have a goal to start and raise up a family. A man controls an environment to make it a safer, better place - a woman makes that world an inviting home. And so on.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/18 07:36 PM
12

Let's look at what disrespect looks like, first. Not blatant disrespect but the kind shown by otherwise loving partners. Just cutting these behaviors out can make a a huge difference. A) Unsolicited feedback or advice. What we often do: If a man is doing a task differently than we would, many times a woman will tell him how to do it. This reads like disrespect to a man because you are assuming a handful of negative things: that your way is better, that he didn't already consider and rule out doi…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 07:52 PM
5

Groucho meant it in good humor, but basically it means that when your self esteem is low, you assume anyone who gives you the time of day is a loser because worthwhile people would have better prospects than your lame ass.
/r/askTRP30/07/18 05:43 AM
13

Honestly, if someone told me personal grooming (hair/nails/makeup) was a hobby I would give them such a side-eye. I love doing all of the above but it just doesn't register to me as "hobby". Especially not one any man wants to hear about. Likewise for fashion. If someone designs or makes their own clothes/jewellery, I'd say fashion is a hobby worth talking about. If someone spends a lot of time shopping for clothes or putting together their outfits... well maybe a hobby but I wouldn't be impress…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/18 10:40 PM
10

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. - Groucho Marx, and you on relationships
/r/askTRP29/07/18 09:29 PM
3

You look like the Pokemon "geodude", all arms and a head! If you share what you're doing, you'll get more helpful feedback on what you need to add.
/r/askTRP28/07/18 08:36 PM
2

Mindfulness meditation doesn't make you more absent minded. If you find that it really does, you need to see a neurologist.
/r/askTRP28/07/18 08:32 PM
1

If you are genuinely looking for advice and input, you would do better to seek guidance from people you respect and admire rather than unattractive, depressed people. The latter are accessible but ultimately just sounding boards. Do you have any older male relatives?
/r/askTRP28/07/18 06:06 PM
17

This one is on you. You can't really take sex off the table without seriously damaging your relationship, and it's far more likely to end the possibility of marriage than hasten marriage. In this case, I would encourage you to stop the mental gymnastics and figure out what is really hurting you. It does not sound like you were always this wracked by guilt over sex with this man, so what changed?
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/18 08:52 PM
8

Get a room, you two!!!! :p
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/18 08:41 PM
–

Dill is so amazing as a sauerkraut seasoning!
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/18 08:30 PM
2

Unicorns don't exist. No one has ridden one across the country. However, there are monuments, memorials and epic poems dedicated to loyal and extraordinary horses. Be your best self and do not drive yourself mad chasing impossible standards. You won't find the answers to your failed relationships in a unicorn checklist. You will find them with painful but compassionate introspection.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/18 09:06 PM
4

Not your problem then. Don't give her any money, and don't do favors like this in the future. ...And maybe don't date anyone who can't figure out how to use EBay.
/r/askTRP24/07/18 08:51 PM
6

Did you take a cut of the money? If you were functioning as a business and skimming off a % of profits, you'd be acting in bad faith to not hold yourself accountable for your own shoddy business practice. OYS. Relative incomes don't matter. If you were just doing a favor for a person you know, they have no right to hound you over an honest mistake. If the money was so important, they should have sold the items themselves or paid a professional to handle it for them.
/r/askTRP24/07/18 08:24 PM
1

You may want to be mindful of having snappy comebacks with sexual undertones at work. There was a post here not too long ago about a man who got absolutely slammed for some smalltalk that included asking a colleague if she was seeing anyone. Wether you think it's reasonable or not, the fact of the matter is that it can be used to really harm your professional standing and reputation.
/r/askTRP23/07/18 07:44 PM
3

You don't have to lose the weight for both of you. Lose the weight for yourself. Really, all increases in SMV should be pursued for your own self and satisfaction, but taking your husband's taste and preference into account. Reasons to lose weight at 48 that have nothing to do with men or SMV: Being as overweight as you are puts huge stress on your joints. You don't want to deal with daily joint pain in a handful of years. If you're carrying well distributed weight rather than a heavy pear shape…
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/18 05:33 PM
13

I don't know your relationship history or relative SMVs while dating, but I can almost guarantee I know what she's thinking regardless of its basis in truth. In her mind, she gave her best and most beautiful years to a man that rewarded her by dressing badly and getting fat. She loves her kids but they changed her body in permanent ways. Now, after all her years of bearing with the loser he became, he gets his shit together AFTER the split. She is hurt and upset and feels robbed that she never g…
/r/askTRP21/07/18 02:50 AM
1

Women want a man they can respect and admire. The basis of this doesn't have to be your career but it must be something. What's your "something "?
/r/askTRP19/07/18 11:45 PM
3

I feel like you're coming at this from the perspective of a sugar daddy and not a family-oriented practicing Catholic.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/18 08:20 PM
5

Women know that optimizing their SMV opens the door to high value partners. They learn and act on this much sooner than men do. However, your partner doesn't seem to be actually driven toward self improvement, since she isn't actually working on diet, exercise, etc. It sounds like she's using negative talk to fish for comfort and validation. If you want to stop hearing such remarks, stop giving her those things. She wants to hear you tell her she is beautiful while she maintains unhealthy habits…
/r/askTRP19/07/18 06:15 PM
5

Travelling as a sugar baby can be a lot of fun. Just make sure you follow some basic safety rules: Make sure all tickets for your name are sent to you in advance. This way your tickets can't be leveraged against you. Have funds to buy your flight back if something sours, or else don't go. Use protection, no matter how much they hissy fit that they spent on you/the trip. Have fun!
/r/askTRP17/07/18 10:43 PM
1

It depends on how much muscle you have. A woman who is 5'5, 9% body fat and 160lbs will have the same overweight BMI as a 5'5, 30% bf 160lb woman, but obviously 2 very different bodies and lifestyles. I reccomend you begin this conversation with your doctor, along with full blood work. It may be that weight is not the only health goal you need to work on, or it may be you're doing great and just need to shed some weight-- but it's playing with matches to assume you know which camp you are in.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/18 09:40 PM
5

I don't drink, but I think I may have that Asian alcohol intolerance one sometimes reads about. I will get absolutely silly off a single beer, and feel terrible the next day. I'm 25, an endurance athlete so fit & healthy. When I tell people I don't drink, I can just see their eyes glaze for a second while they try to decide if I am (1) a reformed alcoholic or (2) a stick in the mud. Instead of saying this, now I just politely turn down a drink or grab myself something non-alcoholic and bubbly to…
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/18 08:13 PM
1

Two years is a really long time to distance yourself from people. Most would have mentally moved you from "friend" to "acquaintance" in that time period, so now you aren't being treated as a friend. You're lower on the priority list so you see more flaking, etc. They're your male friends/acquaintances, not your plates - those 30lbs of muscle don't endear you to them after 2 years of distance.
/r/askTRP15/07/18 09:44 PM
2

It sounds like you're set on Europe, so Europe it is. A chemist could go just about anywhere, so I'd research the immigration laws in different countries and see what places do/don't make sense to try to move to. Once you've got thst smaller list, you can narrow further by your hobbies/passions. What cities have good scenes for what you're into? You are most likely to meet a good match at one of those events.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/18 06:15 PM
2

It sounds like you're doing your best and so is he. Take care not to overwork yourself, or else you'll get sick and he will have even more to manage. Instead, consider ways you can be sweet and maintain your bedrest too. Maybe write him a letter of gratitude and admiration. Tell him he's your rock, and the babies' too. Keep a journal where you write letters to the little one on the way and tell them what a great dad they have. Have coloring book time together in bed w the little one or read to t…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/18 04:19 AM
19

Your disgust is natural and healthy, to an extent. It's your body protecting you. Right now, your self esteem is very low - you think any man who would commit to you would have to be low SMV or have issues. And guess what? For the most part, only predatory men chase women with such deep self esteem problems. So, this disgust is a self defense mechanism to protect you from people who would otherwise take advantage of how vulnerable you are due to your low self esteem. As you build yourself up- th…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/18 08:24 PM
1

Not sure if you meant to nest your post under my comment, but I totally agree. A man uncouth enough to pick his nose in public/ in front of a woman he's courting, probably has a lot of other social blind spots that'll make life rough.
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/18 02:32 AM
2

This is a grown man of 26. His mother is not taking away his ability to be independent - he is willingly opting not to take responsibility. If you're 26 and living with parents, you should be contributing to the household beyond rent. Cooking at least some meals for yourself (and them), doing repairs and yardwork, all your own laundry, etc. It sounds like he doesn't have a full provider instinct - he's been letting you foot the bill for all the Friday dinner food and didn't even offer to chip in…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/18 12:01 AM
9

The answer above is really concise and accurate. You can simply be silent on such inconsequential topics. No need to contradict Another way you can chime in, if you must, is to add on to his remark without contradicting him. If he says restaurant A is the best Mexican food, you may say he once took you to Restaurant B and they had awesome table side guac. This way you're still building him up and you get to share your opinion. Mind, this can still feel like you're softly disagreeing, so I'd save…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/18 04:27 AM
2

Don't move jobs. Just be aware of the culture so you're gauging behavior with context. If you can keep from being caught up into the mindset, the restaurant industry can pay a lot better than most secretary work.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/18 04:13 AM
1

Maybe you're a fun change of pace from the regular guy who has confidence to approach a 9 or 10 (what you have going: refreshing novelty), whereas you aren't that unique amongst the men who approach your 6s and 7s.
/r/askTRP10/07/18 08:43 PM
2

A red pill man is your oak. He's not the source of your anxious scurrying. This is not okay, and this pattern of controlling abuse will escalate if you do marry. If he wasn't like this before and is now, realize that he views marriage like ownership and the closer you get to it, the shorter and shorter your leash is getting. Do not marry this man unless you want a miserable, frightened life.
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/18 08:32 PM
3

I actually don't think this one is rooted in sexual jealousy alone - it's possible that she perceives you as cutting into her tips somehow or is jealous of what you're bringing in. For example, if everyone else leaves customer Freddy to her and you don't, wether this is fair or not, she will feel like you're taking money from her pocket. The restaurant world culture is very "pecking order" and "pay your dues" in ways that can seem incomprehensible from the outside looking in. Some things fly tha…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/18 08:17 PM
14

Only time will tell. Worry about making your millions before you stress what you'll do with the women your success draws.
/r/askTRP10/07/18 01:52 PM
1

Remember though that how much time you have on this Earth is partially determined by your health and fitness. It's not a cost, it's an investment in both quality and quantity of time.
/r/askTRP08/07/18 06:45 PM
3

My rule of thumb is generally if spices smell good together, they will pair well in a dish too. I'm sure there's some weird exceptions but it hasn't let me down yet.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/18 12:04 AM
1

Again, this is not what RPW literature suggests. For Women Only, FW, Surrendered Wife, most faith based texts--- all say that your role is to honor, respect, and admire him. And submission is doing that when you least feel he deserves it. I know it's a very controversial stance, and I am going to refer you to those books if you want more on this idea- otherwise you're free to dismiss me as a quack. It has taken wiser men and women than me chapters upon chapters to articulate the mechanisms behin…
/r/askMRP24/06/18 05:17 PM
1

Well, the standard advice from RPW sources is that once you have married the man, the time for power struggles is over. You chose this man to be your leader, protector, and provider, and you vowed to honor and respect him; thus you must honor and respect him and let him fill those roles. It's also why we emphasize vetting SO heavily. You can't work magic by just submitting to the first dude you see, but in the context of passion, love, and commitment, that magic does materialize.
/r/askMRP23/06/18 11:53 PM
2

There is a whole chapter in Fascinating Womanhood on this, but it comes from a faith based perspective. Happy to share if you feel it would be relevant to you.
/r/askMRP23/06/18 11:51 PM
9

RPW here... you're no good at your end of the bargain until you can let your man lead. Just as you don't find bim masculine for being beta, you aren't really in a feminine RP role until you hand over the reins. Believe me, it's freeing. Let your man do his work and do not tell him what, or how, to do it. He knows how to find the sidebar and read. Your role is not task master but cheerleader: support, admiration, love. For yourself, I suggest you read Fascinating Womanhood and cultivate true femi…
/r/askMRP23/06/18 07:22 PM
28

He gave you 6 years of a dead bedroom and now expects you to recover overnight...if you hop into r/deadbedrooms, you'll probably feel validated in seeing how real the pain is and how deep it cuts. Honestly, a couple's therapist might be what you need. Just having sex to please him, when you are hurt and bitter, is a recipe to create a sex aversion and deep resentment. If you're pious, pray for guidance and grace. If you're secular, meditate on the idea of healing your damaged self esteem and bec…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/18 02:06 AM
2

Drunk Captain red flag #1- wants you to tell him what to do rather than owning his shit. Drunk Captain red flag #2- flaky on his word. Doesn't look good.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/18 10:28 PM
1

So, there are two things at play. One is a you thing and one is a him thing. To most men, feeling disrespected is pretty much akin to a woman feeling unloved. It's about as bad as it gets, so you have to tread very carefully here. This is the you part. Now, I don't understand why you gave him the tracking number. Honestly, it's enough to say you are headed to the post office, ask if he wants any stamps, and just go... If you're a competent first mate, he doesn't need to be micromanaging or check…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/18 09:16 PM
1

My partner and I often spend months apart for long distance hikes. We carry an InReach satellite messenger that allows us to text w/o cell service and track the other. A good night text and knowing where he is gives me peace of mind for the 1-3 weeks we can't get cell coverage, and vice versa.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/18 06:01 AM
4

Don't forget to show him your admiration. Men want and need to feel that you think they're successful, strong, brave, manly.
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/18 07:18 PM
2

This is what the contract side of marriage is about. It protects you if you become a SAHM. Yes, you should have assets and you should have some of them in investments which grow over time. It sounds like you are working now and have an income solid enough to be considering real estate investment, so there is no excuse for you to have all your money sitting in the bank. But that's not about protecting you in case of domestic abuse or something, that's just being an adult with your head on straigh…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/18 01:30 AM
3

There are some political issues worth breaking up over, issues which show a massive chasm of values. This one doesn't show a difference because the man is thinking of protecting your future family! His values are the same as yours but his vision for the execution is different. Both sides of the gun argument want a safer society so I feel OK keeping friendships with people on both sides because I see their hearts want the same thing as me. For this reason, I feel you are OK here.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/18 02:45 PM
1

When he bails on plans, remind him gently that he did make a commitment to do XYZ with you and that you feel sad when he does not honor his commitments. Tbh I see 2 huge red flags: 1. He is very happy to put your needs consistently behind his in the relationship 2. He doesn't keep his word to you I think you need to accept that your man doesn't like doing activities with you. Can you live with that? Your relationship will likely never include shared, fun ativities of your pick. You'll need to fi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/18 08:39 PM
2

You're going to fail your paper if your thesis hinges on anecdata. I am imagining it now... "Opinion opinion opinion(Reddit Rando, 2018)". Very cringeworthy. Why don't you use examples from classical v popular modern literature to illustrate cultural shifts and statistics to show the reality such cultural shifts (marriage or divorce rates, kids out of wedlock, % population w mental illness, etc)?
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/18 08:28 PM
86

There is certainlyna possibility that your friend is low value and/or beta and/or wife goggled, but I would also like to propose another possibility: the 30 year old woman is actually a great partner. Maybe she isn't great at household matters, and maybe she likes to club more than some would consider appropriate, but maybe she is also conscientous, a good listener, validating, empathetic, light hearted, full of joy. Is it not possible that her RMV is through the roof in areas that are not cooki…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/18 08:35 PM
2

You think you hit the wall at 24?
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/18 11:58 PM
8

Femininity, almost as a rule, is a complementary opposite to masculinity. Women want a stoic, stable oak of a man. Men prefer a light hearted, tender, warm woman; femininity is effusive where masculinity is stoic. Studying stoicism and masculine philosophies can enrich us, but femininity relies on a brave, loving vulnerability, on an openness. Don't hamster yourself out of doing the hard, necessary work to be able to be this way with your loved ones. The mighty oak is loved all the more if it gr…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/18 07:57 AM
12

You have to give a man space in which to chase you. Its very important to a man that he feels he chased and won you. Modern society stresses how much men love to be chased, too, in the name of equality... but men can't fully love you if they don't perceive your attention and submission as a hard-won treasure. No quantity of attention you give him can be a substitute for this. In fact, being too available and forward negates that sense of chase. Once you've initiated a plan and followed through, …
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/18 07:36 AM
2

It's his space, not yours, so the messiness is not your problem. What ARE your problems? (1) The optics of the mess: it looks bad. Remember, the king of the castle matters more than the castle. He also matters more than guests to the castle. Don't make him feel bad about the one space in which he can be his messy self. I highly encourage you to forget how it looks to others and leave the door open. If he doesn't care if others see it, you should try to get onto that page. A simple alt solution h…
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/18 06:22 PM
4

I wish I could upvote this 100 times. This is the best possible advice for you, OP.
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/18 05:44 PM
2

Right, but this thinking will only hurt you in the long run. Try to catch yourself until this flawed thinking isn't your response. Ask yourself, "Am I assuming men would want this because I want it?".
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/18 08:37 PM
3

I would never, ever use words to try to do this correction with any person. For adults, I honestly wouldn't even try at all. They must come to it on their own. However, if there is a young person (child, neice/nephew, etc) in your care who needs a lesson in humility, I always suggest exposing them to nature. It need not bea dramatic experience like hiking the Grand Canyon (though that is great), but even a weekend backpacking in the local woods. Look for meteors in a starry sky. Don't say words …
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/18 06:23 PM
6

Quality men aren't looking for their wife to bring in a lot of money, so that's no concern. If you're self sufficient on your income, you're golden. You're assuming men are operating with feminine logic - we instinctively seek provider oriented men for commitment, but men are looking for something very different here.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/18 03:23 AM
1

Have you tried a waspie style? Much more flexible for housework and so on.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/18 02:51 AM
19

This post feels mean spirited, even if you didn't intend for it to read that way. I haven't watched the video. However, given that this woman just lost a relationship, best friend, and job, she is suffering greatly. Not all of us have access to the same support network and not all of us have had the same opportunities to develop resilience and grit. She is struggling and talking about that. We are all works in progress. What's the point in this comparison? If you're concerned about her attitude …
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/18 09:07 PM
1

You are starting with a faulty premise: that casual sex with many partners is as pleasurable as regular sex with 1 partner. You haven't had many partners, so you haven't had much casual sex... so here is the plain amd vulgar truth: it takes most men several rounds of sleeping with a woman to learn how to really please her- and that if he wants to. Casual hookups usually are not even in the same league of sexual satisfaction an LTR can bring for women.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/18 08:48 PM
1

You are starting with a faulty premise: that casual sex with many partners is as pleasurable as regular sex with 1 partner. You haven't had many partners, so you haven't had much casual sex... so here is the plain amd vulgar truth: it takes most men several rounds of sleeping with a woman to learn how to really please her- and that if he wants to. Casual hookups usually are not even in the same league of sexual satisfaction an LTR can bring for women.
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/18 08:48 PM
4

The main point of #1 is that those are not avenues for online dating, nor where commitment minded men congregate en masse. Obviously there are men who are compatible with women's goals, otherwise RPW wouldn't exist. You laugh about where dicks go, but if you find a virgin too, you'll remember this random redditor when things get weird or you have your first instance of ohgodwronghole! 😂 Men will be worrying about hangups, libido, etc. This is not a critique of you. And it doesn't mean they are s…
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/18 08:59 PM
38

First: No, just no. TRP and other subs aren't avenues for online dating, and you're not likely to get a good reception there at all. Most of those men are not currently interested in commitment of any sort, let alone marriage. Second: Please be aware that at 30, your virginity is not the asset it would have been at 22. Sexual inexperience and fumbles aren't charming after a certain point. Realize you have passed this line - probably years ago. Discuss your virginity frankly, in terms of what you…
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/18 06:11 AM
3

This is a common way for human social mammals to engage each other in a verbal communication that is meant to establish rapport and bonding. It is not to be confused with verbal communication meant to convey practical information. My sources from the planet tell me this is called "having a conversation". Presumably, you don't fuck your male friends. Don't judge your girlfriend by the metric of "why the hell did she do/say that, my bros would never fucking do that" or think about how they would r…
/r/askMRP01/01/18 05:53 AM
4

You're not actually a sweet girl. You have a marked lack of humility - you think men are vapid for not picking you and you think the women they pick instead are airheads. It's likely that men find it tiresome to be with someone who can't make conversation about anything short of stardust and musical theory, and they find it too much work to engage you. People with emorional intelligence and the ability to make casual chat are not frivolous. They possess an intelligence and a skill that is very v…
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/17 08:44 PM
1

Can I ask what happened? Sounds like addiction or infidelity?
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/17 04:20 AM
6

First, congratulations on your little one. You sound excited, even through trying circumstances. I think that says a lot about the love in your heart. Years ago, there was a cartoon on TV where the dad used to say to his daughter, "No dating til after you're married!" It may sound kind of funny, but if you proceed, you're going to have to do most of your courtship while committed. You both sound like you dearly want this child, so atleast that is one major hurdle cleared. But make sure you're st…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/17 01:51 AM
5

If at 3 months you're seeing a trend where you now initiate sex, what timeframe do you start having sex? Are you waiting for exclusivity or commitment? If you are having a regular sex life that declines at 3 months, you aren't really vetting long or well or effectively. That's your first problem and what is setting you up for failure. Much of RP relationship advice is hinged on your man being a high value one- I am not sure you're actually in this arena yet. But only you can answer this. From th…
/r/RedPillWomen26/12/17 06:01 AM
3

What would motivate you to save your marriage? The only benefit of staying with her that you've mentioned is an ability to drink in schadenfreude as you snub her cooking and sex. You are not telling us everything.
/r/askMRP26/12/17 05:18 AM
1

Nun mode, therapy, meditation, regular exercise, focus on building self esteem and respect.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/17 12:47 PM
8

I doubt she has redeeming qualities worth it to let her back in your life and establish the boundary, or you wouldn't have been so quick to abandon her. You know what to do.
/r/askTRP16/12/17 06:12 AM
1

You need to read Doyle's "The Surrendered Single" ASAP.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/17 09:07 PM
9

My partner reminds me a bit of that Monty Python sketch, "tis but a flesh wound!!!" -- so if he acts sick, I take it seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/17 09:05 PM
3

Sometimes you just need to hear your gut feeling echoed back from someome else... we are all here for you and rooting for you! I hope you left him like, yesterday.
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/17 11:27 PM
2

The first time you have sex with a girl in your car, it is hot and exciting because it feels like you couldn't wait to go back to your place, you had to have her NOW! But when they realize it's out of necessity because you don't HAVE a place (because of something you say, or what they learn on your Snapchat stories, or whatevet else)--- well, they have options who do have places. Sorry buddy.
/r/askTRP12/12/17 10:13 PM
6

He has status among your peers (well liked), and is accomplished. Wealth, status, security - those are all attractive to women per TRP, which states women seek both beta bucks amd alpha fucks. He clearly seems like an easy to obtain beta provider to you.
/r/askTRP08/12/17 08:58 PM
7

You're his second best. The equivalent of a beta orbiter, really... you may be exclusive but in your heart, you know he will drop you like a plate if he thinks The One will come his way. Trust your gut. 7 months is a reasonable tuition price to learn the lesson of "don't accept second best". Leave.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/17 05:01 AM
16

Loyalty is partially what you do: do you keep your word, reliably? Do you do what you say you will? But more than that, it is lots of things you don't do. Examples of appropriate loyalty: Build him up in public, never reprimand him or be rude to him in front of friends or family. Don't entertain orbiters. Don't flirt witj or check out others around him, or comment on attractiveness of other men. Don't badmouth him to anyone, and be very selective in who you confide in for advice on issues that i…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/17 09:12 PM
2

My boyfriend loves to grill meat in the firepit rather than a BBQ or hibachi grill. It's quite good but definitely his caveman thing. Makes me feel like I should be wearing a woolly mammoth coat or something to match.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/17 08:40 PM
9

You shouldn't always be travelling to him. You're putting in a lot of work that he isn't; during the courtship stage, this signals you do not value your time nearly as much as you value his. It makes a man take you for granted, and then he stops being able to appreciate what you DO do. Also, you say he invited mutual friends to his place, so why are you cleaning his house? You want a man who doesn't even keep his own place clean? You should never have to clean a toilet for a man you don't live w…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/17 08:27 PM
12

I went on this long rant because it takes one to know one. I spend ages ~15-19 desperately trying not to be like other girls and wallowing in a deep pit of internalized mysogyny. Only hung out with guys because girls were dRaMa, etc. It was a load of crock, I was insecure and didn't do well in social situations where guys weren't heaping validation on me. But life gets much, much more fun when you break free of that and learn to like what you like, be who you are and do it joyfully, and not allo…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/17 07:36 PM
17

"I thought guys like a woman who is not all princess and shit" is your first problem, because you're looking for "what differentiates me from other women" from a perspective of degrading feminine women. Note how, in your wording, there is a dichotomy of intellectual, dark banter ("masculine" in your eyes) v.s. nonmasculine patterns ("princess shit"). It is either masculine or it is shit; now you're concerned because you would have to lump yourself in with shit to be successful in love. See how t…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/17 07:21 PM
1

I would never seek to insult your mother's decor... but if that is a background for your tinder photos, reconsider it.
/r/askTRP30/11/17 01:57 AM
1

Those sheets, little one...
/r/askTRP27/11/17 05:05 AM
1

If you aren't turning her on enough, she will chafe and be very uncomfortable. If she is wet, 30 minutes isn't an unreasonable time frame. Sounds like your foreplay is bad.
/r/askTRP27/11/17 04:58 AM
1

You don't need to go to college for that experience. Most of those kids aren't meeting in lecture but on tinder or parties/events, both of which you can access. You don't need to pay tuition to have a social life with your peers.
/r/askTRP22/11/17 06:31 PM
6

Yeah, they probably see a nice young man who may still seem a little shaky on his feet. You're being nurtured if there is no physical or additional flirtatious nature to their compliments.
/r/askTRP22/11/17 06:22 PM
3

Using hunger to cope with anxiety is an eating disorder. Do you want to feed your body, or a disorder? You need to eat all your meals and sleep regularly. You can't heal your depressed brain if you literally rob it of the things it needs to function. Make this a top goal.
/r/askTRP22/11/17 06:14 PM
2

Seconding World Market. Great place for interesting, reasonable gifts. -cute mug with some tea -customized mason cocoa jars, really cute ideas for this on Pinterest -candles with softer, subtle scents -handmade soaps in lovely wrappers
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/17 08:23 PM
0

Sounds like she is a little dead inside. She has made peace with what you will and won't provide, and doesn't attempt to get water from a stone. At the same time, her apathy bleeds into her ability to be a grown ass woman. Who drives for literally months with a tail light out?
/r/askMRP14/11/17 08:15 PM
1

I live in a rather rural place. We don't have a huge community of people, let alone a huge community of women. I love to hear the wisdom and experience of the women here.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/17 08:51 PM
1

I think it is all about how you use it. It sounds like you weren't benefitting from the tool and maintaining it wasted your time. There comes a time when it is wise to give it up. I am happy at how much you've benefited! I love facebook for the groups. There are so many women's groups that create spaces for me that I don't have access to in my rural hometown. I am in: a sew-along group, nature photography for beginners, women's foraging + wildcrafting, investing groups, a handful of women's back…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/17 08:47 PM
1

If you do it for your own self, your joy can be based on outcomes like meeting a lifting goal, accomplishing a business milestone, writing a song. If you only do it to get women, the actions won't be satisfying unless you're getting laid. The former leads to abundance mentality, the latter is a scarcity model where you use sex to validate every other endeavor in your life. For example... if you are making music for yourself, because you love music, then the goal is to learn a song you love. Your…
/r/askTRP13/11/17 08:14 PM
1

We are planning to adopt, so our kids will be in a weird boat for names no matter what! I want to adopt older kids and if they don't want to give their name up, not going to ask it. We both want to share a name because it feels more family that way, but sadly also agree that both our last names don't mesh well with the others first name... hence why we are toying with the idea of making up a name.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/17 04:49 PM
2

There's tit fot tat, then there is usong your gratitude to motivate yourself to be better. Tit fot tat would be not doing x hecause they don't do y, but I don't think it's tit for tat to use gratitude for y to motivate you to do x- x being a chore you're tempted to skip. In an ideal world we are all motivated to be perfect at all times for no reason than the sheer passion of it. In real life, sometimes it helps to think of how much you adore your husband while you're pulling change out of every …
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/17 01:34 PM
2

My partner and I are a mixed race couple. An asian with a gaelic last name would look really, really weird... We sometimes play with the idea of making a new last name up for ourselves.
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/17 09:00 PM
14

I would be pretty unimpressed if my partner held me accountable for not checking his pockets, but every couple has different division of labor and expectations. For me, if the receipt was important enough to be annoyed by, it was important enough to merit filing away in a timely manner. His responsibility. But, we all pick up extra slack in areas. Laundry isn't it for me. But if this is an area you pick up extra slack in, it may be helpful to remember where he picks up extra slack to inspire you…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/17 08:55 PM
1

If you feel you have to put up with someone a year in, time to next them....
/r/askTRP11/11/17 04:28 PM
4

You're a little younger than men I look at (at 25) so my assessment may not be reflective of your peer group... but I would put your face as a 5, in the "below average" category actually. I don't say this to discourage your confidence. It is good to value yourself. But I think you feel undue frustration. You aren't at the point in the journey where you get to feel like you are doing all the right things, to no avail-- because you aren't doing it all properly. So cheer up! Your best is yet to sho…
/r/askTRP11/11/17 03:20 PM
6

At a year in, why do you strictly see each other only once a week...?
/r/askTRP11/11/17 02:48 PM
1

Figure out what turnaround time is acceptable to you, and enforce it. If she doesnt reply within 12 hours of your text (or whatever), just make plans with someone else and leave that ball in her court. There are lots of women out there, and letting her dick your schedule around just so you can get laid isn't impressing her.
/r/askTRP10/11/17 10:06 PM
1

You're a source of good sex. She's cute with you because the sex fills her with hormones like oxytocin. That's it. It's also possible she has a bf and you're some side fun. That would especially explain why she's happy not to have public dates, meets exactly when planned, but hardly texts you back between -- its opsec. She does the bare minimum to get fun out of you. Why do you care so much? Why are you so needy, to where you get mad that she doesn't text back and feel hauntes by images of her s…
/r/askTRP10/11/17 09:48 PM
0

It doesn't matter, honestly. Just because she knows RP terms and truths does not render her magically immune to them. The basic principles of abundance mentality, high SMV, responsibility/OYS-- those are attractive to women no matter what. So, don't let this sway you one way or the other. Only you can turn yourself into BB. Buuuuut.... does a family fit in with your life mission? If she is as traditional as you say, she will want children and probably more than a western woman would want. That's…
/r/askTRP10/11/17 09:39 PM
2

Well, you can't help that there isnt much haooening in your suburb. If you're looking to move for university, I hope you're selecting for communities with groups and activities you can enjoy! I'll send the pm tonight after work! :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/17 08:57 PM
2

My suggestions: -For fashion, there are several blogs about fashion for wheelchair users and FB groups. I am happy to PM you some if you'd like. The important thing, though, is to have a style you enjoy and that makes you radiant! -Are you in a city? If you are, I bet you can find social groups for other wheelchair users. I am not saying this should ne your target dating market- heck, even an all women's group would be good. I am projecting, honestly, but I was an awkward turtle at 18. When I fo…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/17 08:27 PM
5

You're a good woman for showing kindness and strength to a mentally disabled child-- 13 is just a kid. It's possible the young man reached out to you because he wanted company from someone else seen by society as "disabled", someone older who might "get it". I don't mean to suggest cerebral palsy is in any way comparable to autism, but from the eyes of a kid, he likely feels "othered" and maybe thinks you would understand. If you find you do want to be a support for this young man, I hope you fe…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/17 07:49 PM
19

Don't say anything about depression you wouldn't say about diabetes. For example, you wouldn't think your bf's insulin resistance could be fixed by any quantity of your love and devotion. Don't expect his imbalanced brain chemistry to be fixed by it, either. It isn't realistic or fair. Like with diabetes, you can be supportive. Cook healthy meals, exercise together, do things you enjoy, give help when asked. But that's the limit. Resist the urge to become his mother by scheduling appointments, n…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/17 07:10 AM
3

Some women orgasm from slower stimulation. It isn't am alpha or beta thing. However, if she wants to do other styles and paces and positions than only her favorite -- that is a reflection of you. I can only orgasm in a handful of positions, but that does not mean those are the only ones in the repertoire-- just that they must be included at some point. How deep you can go is also a function of how turned on she is. When turned on, the vagina relaxes and "tents"- penetration that is amazing when …
/r/askMRP06/11/17 02:35 AM
2

And what if his libido is much lower than hers? That's equally important to find out, OP; don't confuse "not having sex" with "not talking about and vetting for sexual compatibility".
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/17 07:29 PM
1

You can definitely have a lucrative part time career, especially if you either hyperspecialize in a city (only do this one tricky kidney surgery) or do GP or pediatrics in a more rural setting. But you must be aware that med schooland residency/fellowship are not just fulltime but overtime commitments, so having kids through those years can be insanely challenging or impossible.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 11:45 PM
3

Is he sugar daddy material? Otherwise, you're wasting your time. At your age, you shouldn't be able to relate to a man that much older. You can be attracted to and enioy the difference between you two if there is an age gap, but if you can relate to him then it is a massive red flag that he's wildly immature and behind the curve. The ultimate test... would you be proud to tell your dad that he is XX age and does ABC, and is now your bf?
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 11:40 PM
2

Read about sub drop. Poor aftercare can cause a lot of the weirdness you're experiencing now. It doesn't matter how extreme you think you aren't being; a generally vanilla woman who still has vestiges of repressed mentality might need high levels of aftercare for a 'scene' that an experienced sub might call totally vanilla. You need to know your wife, and how best to comfort her afterward - in the ways that are meaningful to her. Otherwise you're not providing the structure and comfort that make…
/r/askMRP31/10/17 05:43 PM
1

I mean, yes--- but lower class wives weren't inherently expected to be sexy entertainers just because their husband couldn't go to the pleasure quarters. Marriage was, as for most of history in most of the world, a matter of child rearing and economics. I definitely wouldn't say it was a polyamorous paradise; I wrote about suicides and jealousy. I'm not trying to present it as Asian perfection v.s. Western failure, but just that this contrast between "be everything" and "be some of it and export…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/17 02:57 AM
1

Hm, that's a great question- one I ponder a lot. I wish I had a satisfying answer for you, but I suspect if I had that level of knowledge I'd be a best selling self help author. :-) if that option seems reasonable and practical and practicable to you, I don't see why on earth not. It would be a faustian pact for me, personally; not sure I could do it. My comment was inspired by the mention of geisha, because comparing the full role of geisha to half the duty of a western woman felt a little unfa…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/17 02:50 AM
12

So you're willing to give a man a pass on manipulating women for his buddy's sexual gain, just so long as he is physically faithful to you? Really? It's weird for a man to be this involved in and committed to his friend's sex life. It's morally repugnant to present himself as the interested man and then spring a different man at her. You found something new and terrible out about this man. None of what he did here was your fault, but nothing you do at this point will ammount to more than am ostr…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/17 12:19 AM
22

You're 19. Don't waste more time with this creep. You're far from some old spinster who needs to fear being put on a shelf - there is much better out there for you than a guy who thinks crossing consent lines is an acceptable drunk weekend passtime.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/17 06:49 PM
36

Let's say he is 100% honest. He didn't intend to have sex with her, he didn't even think she was attractive. Instead, as he says, he used himself as bait.... so she would come over and then he could let her know, no, he doesnt want her, he tricked her into coming so his buddy could approach her in a location where she is more vulnerable. In a place she might not have ended up if they'd been honest and let her know it was the buddy who wanted to have sex with her. Honestly that's even worse than …
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/17 06:43 PM
2

If you want another 3 or 4 years before a proposal and a really loooong engagement, I think you've got a winner. 7 months and you still see the man twice a week? Is his career insanely demanding? Would he be a half time husband? At best, his pace for everything in your relationship will be so slow that you'll question yourself each step. At worst, he's a time waster and you'll spend years with him, break off your six year engagement at 33, and feel cheated.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/17 02:59 PM
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