I found out about asktrp around the time of my breakup several months back. I was in a really bad place emotionally and the advice here helped. A lot of my failed relationships made sense now as I saw that I became controlling and insecure and not focused on my own mission, which drove them away immediately. I followed the advice here and started lifting, pretty soon I had two "plates". They were both below average but I sucked it up because the advice here said a warm body would make me feel better.

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And it did, getting laid was great for my broken ego at first. And I followed the advice here once again, remaining aloof and focused on myself and not making any commitments to them (both of them wanted to date me almost immediately). Well it only took about 2 months before both plates realized I wasn't going to commit, stopped emotionally investing in me and started looking elsewhere. One of the plates has a boyfriend now, I still see the other plate but a lot less frequently and I can tell she's not very interested anymore.

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Is this how the lifecycle of a plate is supposed to go? It always feels like a ding to your self-esteem when they leave, even when I'm not emotionally invested in the girl. Now I'm looking at the prospect of finding more plates. This will constitute of Tinder (hardly any decent matches even though I'm 5'9 and attractive) and trying to meet women in real life amidst a mask-wearing, socially-distancing, bar-closing pandemic. It's all just so tiresome.

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I also can't help but feel like the alpha behavior is just a "fuck boy" red flag for women that pushes them away. Suppose a quality woman does come along, but you sabotage the relationship from the get-go by being emotionally distant and not committing? I cannot tell you the amount of times that I've finally gotten to the point of wanting to be serious with a girl, just for her to say *"Now you do, but what about when we first met? I was just a piece of ass to you"*. Is there some sort of balance here that I'm not finding?