Young girl seeking advice about sex, relationship and drinking choices

LuckyLittleStar · 2018-01-17T05:44:51+00:00

Your post is titled, "Young Girl Seeking Advice." That doesn't mean "ignore anything said you don't agree with".

Removed.

teaandtalk · 2018-01-17T01:22:46+00:00

Okay, so it sounds like your parents aren't teaching you about this stuff, which really sucks.

Sex question. It is NOT shameful to want to have sex! Sexual urges are completely normal, and they're going to just get stronger from here on out. But, at 13 (or 15 or 17 in most cases), you are not yet ready for sexual activities with other people. I know that it is frustrating to be told that, when you have all these feelings - but please, trust me. You can always have sex at a later time, but you can't go back and un-do it once it's done. In the meantime, you can enjoy a relationship with your boyfriend that includes some sexual components (kissing and above-the-clothes touching) but I would advise you not to go any further than that. Remember that sex sets off hormones in the brain that make it much harder to make good, rational decisions, and you owe it to your future self to make the best decisions for your future.
The red-pill view: women should save sex for committed, long-term relationships which could lead to marriage, and only once they've vetted the man without the influence of sex/bonding hormones. At 13 and 16, you are most likely not yet capable of the sort of relationship that would lead to marriage.
When is it appropriate to bring a boyfriend to family events? That's a family decision, and I don't see anything wrong with bringing him if they welcome him. Just don't integrate him into your life so much that it would be hard to extricate him again, not until you're sure that you're on track for a long-term relationship (years, not months).
A red pill woman won't drink so much that it affects her health or her decision making. Given that you're young, and your brain is still developing, this means no drinking - not until your brain/body have matured more.

I'm sorry if my responses aren't what you want to hear; I know it's very hard being young and having all of these urges (to have sex, to drink, to do exciting things) but being told that you're not ready. But you have time to do all of these things, in the future, when you're able to do so safely. In the meantime, there is so much that you can do: you can meet people, and learn things, and learn what you like in a boyfriend (spending hours together in silence? going on adventures? seeing each other every few days?), and grow, and change, and improve yourself, so that when you ARE older, and your brain and body are ready, you can have an awesome relationship with someone who deserves you.

Kurrra · 2018-01-17T01:23:01+00:00

Where are your parents at? The reason everyone is telling you not to engage in sex is because that’s the truthful answer. You’re only 13 and he is much older than you physically and mentally. Sex is not a requirement of a relationship, there is no official point of “its time to have sex”. If he really cares about you, and you him, then hold off. If the relationship truly does last past adolescence go from there. Don’t engage at sex at only 13 because yes most young relationships are not going to last. I’m sure most people would agree. If this were my daughter asking adult strangers on the internet about sex I’d be horrified. You wouldn’t do this in real life, it does not make it okay on the internet. You may consider yourself a woman and have your own agency but you are still a child. And I don’t say that to belittle you. I know when I was your age I thought I was my own person but that just isn’t true. Just wait on this, you will thank me later. If you really want advice then you need to discuss this with your parents. Trust me. If you guys do engage in sex and they find out, the fallout and consequences won’t be worth it. You don’t need to be having sex at 13.

lunatic_in_the_hall · 2018-01-17T01:52:47+00:00

Sex: it's completely normal and OK to have sexual urges! The question is whether or not you should act on them. In my opinion, 13 is too young to have sex. I don't mean to be insulting, so please don't take it that way, but at 13 your decision-making brain is not fully developped and it's not wise to make decisions like that that you may regret (even if you think you won't regret it -- you might someday). Of course, you are free to do what you want, but please think it through very well first.
Family events: if your family wants to meet him, bring him along! It sounds like it's the perfect time to invite him to family events :)
Drinking: I personally choose not to drink at all. But that's just because I don't like the taste of alcohol and I don't like the idea of getting drunk (for fear I'll do something embarrassing). Having a drink once in a while is fine, but... not at 13! You didn't refer to yourself specifically in your question, but I sincerely hope you don't plan to start drinking in the near future. Alcohol can do a lot of damage to a young brain, even in small amounts, so I would strongly recommend waiting a few years. I don't know where you live, but I don't know too many places where drinking alcohol that young is legal! Don't go breaking the law ;)

xvxkatiekat · 2018-01-17T03:00:50+00:00

/u/stubborndaffodil posted this article today and I think it might be of some use, in regards to your first question. :)

carefreevermillion · 2018-01-17T03:24:56+00:00

So I personally had sex way too young (14, just shy of 15) and I completely regret it. I really thought I loved him, I really enjoyed touching him and being touched, it was 3-4 months in so I had "waited", and he seemed to love me. Needless to say it wasn't worth it.

It is worth it to take your time. Adult activities seem fun at first, and it many ways are genuinely enjoyable, but come with a great deal of responsibilities. Sex can lead to STDs or pregnancy, and drinking is bad for your physical body and mental development.

Again, if there is anything you should take from this thread, it is worth it to take your time.

Title	Young girl seeking advice about sex, relationship and drinking choices
Author	bacardislut
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	January 17, 2018 12:53 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7qx6q0/young_girl_seeking_advice_about_sex_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/young-girl-seeking-advice-about-sex-relationship.74107 https://theredarchive.com/post/74107

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