Out of a LTR at 29, lost and worried about SMV.

cassalas · 2018-02-23T05:30:41+00:00

I can relate to your post. I did not find RPW until my early thirties, after multiple failed 2-3 year relationships. While I don't agree with absolutely everything RP related, it has helped me significantly. I started working out, lost a little weight, continued to work on my career and pursued my hobbies. I explored my issues with codependency and how to properly vet potential partners. I turned inward and focused all my energy on "cleaning up my room" instead of freaking out about the future and being alone. I got to the point where I was perfectly happy all on my own, for the most part. At 34, after finally properly vetting guys, I met a great guy online. I've been with my guy for almost 2 years now. I've never been in such a stress free relationship in my life. He is mature, committed, kind, and competent. We started to live together about a year ago. He had me show him engagement rings I like a couple months back and we've been discussing our expectations regarding marriage and trying to start a family within the next year. Focus on improving your health (mental and physical). Give yourself time to work on yourself. If you don't do that now you really will have no time. You'll get into another bad relationship and use up the small amount of time you do have left. There is hope, focus on the hope and on being the best version of you instead of the yucky overwhelmed/ lost/sad feelings. Take everything on RPW with a grain of salt and find what resonates with you / your experience. Hang in there.

Pupperieee · 2018-02-23T05:26:23+00:00

You need to separate what you can control and what you can't control. Would it be nice if this were all happening and you were having these realizations at 19? Sure! But life happens, and you are where you are now.

If you don't work on yourself now, you'll be typing a similar post at 35, so even though you're freaked about dating in your 30s you have to address the real issues first or no relationship will ever work the way you want it to.

I think it's also good to look at personal goals in a realistic way. You want a lot of things and you want them all now. That's a recipe for choosing the wrong man, and it's not just your relationship status you want to change, you also want a better job and a child, and soon. That's probably not realistic.

I know this sounds obvious, but I think you need to remind yourself that everyone doesn't get everything they want, and certainly not on the timeline they'd prefer. I know you know that intellectually, but you need to start focusing on what you have and not the external things you want.

Use your resources and energy to better yourself and grow gratitude for the life you have today. When you're grateful you take better care of yourself and others around you, you attract better people, and it's much easier :)

88Will88 · 2018-02-23T06:33:00+00:00

You fully understand that you are not the sort of person yet who is ready to be in a full time relationship. So spend the next 2 years becoming that person. Get as healthy as possible, meditate, find a nice social group DO NOT DATE. This path is the one that will most likely deliver the results you hope for (happy LTR and possibly kids). To achieve your dreams you need to forget your dreams for a while and concentrate on the work, not the outcome.

RecePiece · 2018-02-23T05:02:15+00:00

I don’t have advice but I have been there, and felt these exact emotions. Been single for three years, and I can honestly say that I am happy with myself as a person, with or without a man.

[deleted] · 2018-02-23T14:49:51+00:00

I met the man of my dreams in my 30s. Level yourself your older so realise now you have to bring more to the table. On the flip side when you do meet a man there's a better chance he likes you for who you are and not just for your looks. Humble yourself at this age it's a man's market realise they are now the ones deciding what's what. It may seem unfair but imagine how hard it is for guys when they are younger. Get into the gym, get a good diet, and realise if a guy doesn't come your way you may have to hunt one down yourself.

Supergirl3000 · 2018-02-23T13:56:40+00:00

I love everything that RPW has to offer but we also have to recognize that some generalizations do not apply to everyone. I am 31, single and I feel I am in my prime. I’m a late bloomer so that may be why, many of my high school classmates peaked too early. What I’ve seen is guys in their 30s want someone compatible, not some ditzy 20 year old chasing after the next shiny object. Of course you have to take care of your skin, whiten your teeth. But freaking out about 30 is just a reminder from the biological clock, not a sign you are doomed. Average age difference for successful partners is with the man being 4 years older, I think that is helpful to remember, not 10 years like some would think

Raisincel · 2018-02-23T16:34:51+00:00

This is actually pretty sad, the lies Feminism feeds women. I think you're fucked honestly. If a guy can't experience you in your prime, it's hard for him to want to commit when you're used up. It's just a sad reality.

Title	Out of a LTR at 29, lost and worried about SMV.
Author	Pupperieee
Upvotes	23
Comments	15
Date	February 23, 2018 4:01 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7zl7wk/out_of_a_ltr_at_29_lost_and_worried_about_smv/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/out-of-a-ltr-at-29-lost-and-worried-about-smv.74305 https://theredarchive.com/post/74305

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