Is Marriage Totally out of the question? New reader.

chakamaki · 2021-02-19T19:38:09+00:00

I am a father (in my 40s) going through divorce...

Haven’t met met my only son since 5 years or not talked to him because my wife accuse me that I abused him... I am paying maintenance to her for life and child support...

Society and law favors women over men when children comes to into the picture...

You can try to get surrogate mother but it’s also risky... depends on the law of that country...

Better stay away from women in all sense but your hormones and inexperienced life will force you cohabiting with women...

Just learn about laws and how best you could save your money and self before entering into any relationship...

Know the exit plan before entering into the risky game...

I wish I was as wise and woke as you kids are...

ActOutside4853 · 2021-02-19T19:50:04+00:00

Go for it, we can always use another horror story....

i_am_your_hemeroid · 2021-02-19T20:15:38+00:00

I've been in common law marriage for 20 years. Dead bedroom most of it, but really next to 0 sex in the past couple of years.

It's not that she doesn't find me attractive or she doesn't love me. She HATES me.

I am a family man. Always put family first. Yes, made some career choices, but not for myself, but for the safety of the family. I've been giving her my everything.

It's not enough for her. I never was her first choice I guess, she just couldn't do better. Or in other words, she likes the safety that I provide, but nothing else. And she feels entitled to everything and more. While she gives nothing in return to me. She is a good mother tho, I give her that.

So I am trapped. I'm sad and desperate. Mostly because we could have it all. it's so close. That what hurts the most. But no, she has to hate me for whatever reason.

So yeah, sure, go ahead. So much fun.

TeddyMGTOW · 2021-02-19T20:41:13+00:00

In the MGTOW community Yes. We view it as the worst decision a guy could make. The second worse, is cohabitation with a female. Everything else is roses here...any questions?

anongogogo · 2021-02-19T19:49:36+00:00

You have to really think long term if you're in the West. You're basically playing against stupid odds. Even if you manage to have kids, the chances of them getting brainwashd by clown society is absurdly high since grade>middle school is mostly females.

sapereAudeAndStuff · 2021-02-19T19:53:09+00:00

It's gambling.

There is some chance you will have a happy family with your actual own kids who will remain "your kids" their whole lives. It's certainly less than 50% counting the divorce rate plus the variety of little miseries that can emerge without going for a full divorce.

So if you're a gambling man, you are free to put > half your earnings, assets and value over the course of your life on a casino table with less than 50% odds. If you lose you lose everything, if you win you get to have a kid.

If you really, really, really, really want to have kids then maybe, but to me at least I don't even want kids generally so it's a no brainer.

Decide what it's worth to you.

andreas-mgtow · 2021-02-19T19:58:08+00:00

What if I want children

Surrogacy. Make the money, get options.

Crusty_Dick · 2021-02-19T21:24:49+00:00

All of us dreamed of marriage, starting a family, making your parents proud, etc. It was what I considered to be the honorable thing to do. The thing about marriage is that their is nothing special or sacred about it anymore. It's basically making your relationship into a legal matter. And what's so loving and special about that when 50% of marriages end in divorce, and your partner benefits from breaking it. But hey, if you want to be a family man, you do you man. Just don't get married, you can still be in a relationship and have kids without getting married.

goingmyownway_ghost · 2021-02-19T21:40:21+00:00

ask the guy who posted on here several days ago when he found out his wife was a pornstar....

non-w0ke · 2021-02-19T20:28:44+00:00

You can't have kids. Kids belong to women.

Now is the time for a short quiz: can you have kids as a male in the normal human relationship? Yes or No.

mrbas3 · 2021-02-19T22:00:50+00:00

Don't ever sign a contract with someone who gets paid to break it.

Phantom_Spark · 2021-02-19T22:16:14+00:00

If you insist on getting married and having children... we merely warn of the likely outcomes. You’re free to do what you want.

You might be better off speaking to the men who found MGTOW after being married. Listen to them as they can shed some insight. They often love their children and in some cases their wife as well. But if they knew this before? They wouldn’t have gotten married. Additionally, they want to ensure their sons don’t make the same mistake.

Nothing is absolute. However it’s foolish to make choices that have a very high probability of disastrous failure. Remember. If a woman has her way? You may be forced to support children that are not yours. Additionally, she has every legal right to take your children from you. And no court is going to care. All of this means that women are incentivized to behave badly.

So do what you want. But at least speak to the married men who come here and understand

alienmuseum · 2021-02-19T22:59:59+00:00

If you're not convinced, then you can always try it out. Maybe you want to experience the pain to know it's real. Nothing like real experience to teach you a lesson.

MGTOWayoflife · 2021-02-19T21:42:49+00:00

If signing a contract with no benefits, plenty of misery, which you have to pay to get into and payto get out of sounds got d to you then get married.

SentientProgam · 2021-02-19T20:02:35+00:00

Aaron Cleary Book of Numbers.

Usual_Sir · 2021-02-19T22:23:49+00:00

Click....you have one bullet marriage in the chamber young man. Are you sure you want to pull that trigger? Most red pilled men won't take that chance. Only the blue pilled men will pull it. Think wisely brother.

aniani04 · 2021-02-20T00:25:58+00:00

I had girlfriends who behaved like proper unicorns, did I think about wifing them up? sure.

In this life, the only constant is change. I had virgins, Never touched before, even trembled when they got their first kiss... from that to a drinking, going to parties/nightclubs betraying thot.

You can find a girl who seems to be worth it, not saying it's impossible, but betting half your shit that this bitch won't stab you in the back is very fucking stupid. Let alone the wisdoms you need to engrain in your brain while you're still young, the main one is:
Women can never be trusted.

Search through all cultures, through all great philosophers, They all said something in those lines, you think it's a coincidence?

Most people will take the road with least resistance, Everybody wants a hot young pretty loyal wife with kids, not everybody can see it's almost impossible in this day and age.

2021-02-19T20:28:49+00:00

Seeing adoption as noble is one way to see it, another way to see it is cleaning up after other people's mess and subsidizing their fertility over your own.

QuickDrawDinoHunter · 2021-02-19T22:46:25+00:00

MGTOW is about us going our own way. So no, marriage is not off the table. But you better be damn sure of what you're doing.

Glittering-Meat3088 · 2021-02-19T23:18:15+00:00

I'm 35 years old. I was the type of guy that liked relationships, and wanted to get married young, so we could grow together, build ourselves and our finances, have fun, and then start a family. But I was way too damn nice in my teens and twenties, and time and time again saw women going for guys that I didn't think were as good an option as I was, for a variety of reasons. At 28, I went through a massive change. Starting at 30, I pretty much had my pick of women, including 10s. And when I say 10s, I'm talking about proper 10s, not the small town 8 that's a city 3. Problem is, most of these women are married, all of them are in relationships. Relationships just don't work for men now. Exceptions exist, but they're called exceptions for a reason. They're statistically unlikely. I've been the guy who never got attention, and now I'm the guy who fucks other men's wives. Being on both sides of the divide, the only way to win is to not play at all. Except there is a exception to that. Personally, if the desire to build a family is something I choose to indulge, I won't be doing it in a locale that's gonna fuck me over. I'll pick a place that I have control, and if push comes to shove, I'll set my ducks in a way that I'll have an out with little or no loss of my resources. Basically, if the bitch fucks me, I'm gonna go full ghost on her. Not even the State Department will find me so they can bust my ass for undeserved child support and alimony. But that's a complicated and difficult road to walk. Best option, especially in through your 20s and 30s, is to not play at all. Focus on yourself.

SnooDrawings4726 · 2021-02-20T01:30:27+00:00

If you really feel the need to go ahead Down that path... have rigorous standards for the women... and don’t ever compromise or settle... don’t think with your dick, it’ll get you into trouble

Really consider not getting married though... 75% end in divorce, and 80% of those are initiated by the woman.... a lot of guys here aren’t opposed to the idea of marriage (which is basically, trading your resources for her youth and beauty) the main problem is the severe lack of viable women out there,.. the vast majority are horrible selfish narcissistic materialistic hypergamous leeches who just use guys as an atm...

I’d highly recommend just focusing on yourself, and forgetting about women all together

CDNCRLS · 2021-02-20T02:01:58+00:00

When the game is designed for you to lose, would you play?

JohnStrangways · 2021-02-20T02:28:29+00:00

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but happily married family man IS NOT ON THE MENU

MGTOWMGTOW2020 · 2021-02-20T05:47:00+00:00

Dont bring your offspring to the clown world. If you want to, you are not red pill enough.

Mr_Neon_ · 2021-02-20T00:25:17+00:00

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Yeeeeeeeees.

I mean, marriage was a very noble thing but nowadays, it's not worth it. It's really hard to truly find someone who shares values and is ready for a long commitment (Even if they think they are).

I don't think anyone seeks for perfection, but you'll end up losing a lot seeking for something that is at least worth.

kyledontcare · 2021-02-20T03:55:19+00:00

I'm one of those types of men you mention. If you choose to marry, please be aware of the marriage and divorce laws in your state or a state you may want to move to, particularly as regards alimony and child support. Over time some states have become notorious for being so anti-male. New York, California, Massachusetts, and New Jersey come to mind; there are others. Yes, it is tougher than ever if you decide to marry. Be aware that states view you, the man, as disposable. The State, especially liberal ones, view your money as theirs. The State incentivizes maritial breakdown. They dangle money before women telling them the moola is theirs if they have children but no man in the house. She divorces him, the State helps her, then charges you for alimony and child support and legal fees until the kids are 18-22. The People's Republic of Massachusetts is one of those places where they oblige the man to even pay for the kids' college is they choose to go to school, which of course is common. Imagine paying full tuition at some private, elite school in that state something like Boston college or even a state school like UMass-Amherest, which isn't cheap. In Michigan I believe they have what is called a "pay or stay" policy: You can pay your child support or stay in jail. If a guy is smart enough to say no to marriage, then false paternity charges are acceptable. Then the guy is just hit for child support. The best choice is to not play the game and not get married. Many guys on here are in that boat. Don't live with a woman, marry her, or make a baby with her. MGTOW Monk really is the best road. And believe it or not compared to some places, we guys in the US have it good. In Canada a girlfriend recently got alimony for breaking up with her boyfriend. They didn't live together, they didn't have a kid, yet the female judge awarded her alimony because the guy asked her to marry him several times. So basicaly that's good engough in Canada. The big scandal I hear in Toronto is that none of the single guys on the Tornonto Maple Leafs hockey team date. Not at all. Because they know they'll be taken to the cleaners, legally. In some parts of Canada if you, "appear as a couple in public for a period of time and present yourself to others as a couple" that satisifies the courts you're married, or something like that. It varies place to place. In the land Down Under, too, some tricky laws to be careful of if you're a guy. Sooo, yeah, be careful. As Coach Greg Adams says, until the Barbarian is at the gates and laws change, I would just tell younger guys to be vvveerryy careful. If you're absolutely sure you want to do this wait until you're at least 30. You'll have life experience, be making more money, probably be finished with whatever schooling you want to do and younger women who are 20 willl love attention from you.--Peace

ZarBandit · 2021-02-20T06:15:06+00:00

Read (study) r/deadbedrooms and r/survivinginfidelity for a better understanding of what goes on behind closed doors in marriages.

You’ll see common themes. They become cliches after a while. You may not get something as extreme as that, but you will get a version of them. Hopefully much watered down, but don’t count on it.

What you need to understand is that at every stage of life there are common traps waiting to be sprung on you that lead to a dead end life and regret. The problem with marriage is you get locked in without any solution if things turn bad. There is no escape where you’re not completely fucked and wondering how you’ll make ends meet if you divorce. If it happens early you bounce back with a major setback and lost time. Later on it’ll screw your retirement too. It ranges from bad to life destroying.

Your wife cheated and bore a child she passed off as yours? Sorry you’re paying for that kid for 18 years and robbing you of resources to go and have your own.

By your measure, I’m old. I’m almost 50, I have a house and 2 kids. I married before MGTOW was conceived and the internet then was ruled by AOL. Did it work out for me? Not nearly as well as I wanted, but not as bad as many. I made mistakes and fell into some of those life traps. 6 years and I’ll get freedom from potential child support and my options open up. Yet I’ll be even older and in my mid 50s. I could have chosen a better wife, but I did the best I could with what I had. I now have to bide my time.

Know the possible paths and know the traps. Know where those paths likely take you in 5, 10, 20 years and whether that’s what you want BEFORE YOU BOARD THAT TRAIN. YOLO should not be about instant gratification, it should be about long term planning. Your future arrives quicker than you can ever imagine. Don’t have a bad life by poor early design.

NoSignalCharlie7954 · 2021-02-20T07:08:06+00:00

Is having children a selfish act

People are brought into this world through selfishness, ignorance or both. So, your answer is yes.

darzamat · 2021-02-20T08:04:01+00:00

This was my thinking at 18. I was for the most part, marriage oriented. Then, slowly but surely I got to see what females are like, both in my relationships and with others. Have gone to plenty of parties and say how "couples" got together, or how they ended with the middle finger being involved, saw the drama, saw the uncertainty of it all. Gradually I started seeking out answers about female nature. I discovered red pill, then MGTOW and never looked back since. At 37 years old I can tell you it's NOT WORTH IT FOR A MAN to get married, especially when you're older because at my age, every female will start oogling you, just like I did them when I was 18. The tables reverse when you're older. I get looks from high school girls, something that never ever happened while in high school. It also helps that I have very good genetics and I don't look like a 37 year old, but more like a 22 year old. You would never tell I'm 37. There is no reason to get yourself tied up with a female that's going to be uncertain, chaotic, will definately drive you to make stupid decisions, only to leave you for someone else and make you pay through your nose for everything. Whoever taught you that marriage is beautiful, DELETE THAT SHIT from your mind, NOW, TODAY !!

Marriage only favors the female and it also doesn't make any sense in this day and age. This is the worst possible moment in history for a man to get married. The worst !

CloNe817 · 2021-02-19T19:52:00+00:00

No, they arent easy to find. Some women are red pilled, such as my wife.

BlackPillPusher · 2021-02-20T04:32:12+00:00

For the reasonable man it absolutely is, what do men get out of marriage except the loaded gun of the family courts to their head, constant demands for provision and protection and maybe a lousy handjob once in a few months? It's a no brainier really.

xdrunkagainx · 2021-02-20T05:10:59+00:00

leozimgh · 2021-02-20T07:29:56+00:00

That depends on what country you live and who is this woman. NA, Mexico, Brasil, UK, Italy and India are an absolute NO! Also, don’t even think about it if your wife isn’t a childless sub21. If your reality matches those 2 requirements, go for it.

Nethersex · 2021-02-20T07:42:52+00:00

I am a father (35+), married almost 10 years. I have a son (5year old) and planning one more. I found about mgtow and red pill a few years ago, I read Rational male and other red pill stuff. Family is a great thing, but you have to work on this and on yourself(be the better version of yourself- money, health, career). Do not lose yourself. I love my son, and if you want family and kids, do it. I live in Western Europe, and it’s a bit different situation than in US, but still, you need to choose the right girl in order to decrease the chance of getting divorce or other problems in the future. The chance of divorce is so high these days. Choose your own path, observe these forums, but make your own decision. Good luck

srtor · 2021-02-20T13:41:00+00:00

If you are really interested in getting a child of your own, Get a surrogate mother.

Pay and get your kid. Don't have to get married.

Avoid the marriage and associated baggage with it.

holdthecreamer · 2021-02-20T14:19:20+00:00

Bro, Russian roulette I’m sure is very thrilling and rewarding, but the downside is that 1 out of 6 times you might end up dead. Remember, 50% of marriages end up in divorce. The remaining marriages are basically 1v1 insurgency war. As Sun Tzu said, it’s better to win without fighting. Work on yourself. Build net worth and assets. Enjoy good friendship.

MGTOW-guy · 2021-02-20T19:54:54+00:00

Hi, just wait till you are 30 or even 40.

Make yourself, your wealth, your profession and hobbies.

At 40 get a 20 years old woman who is healthy and beautiful. And stop getting any income. Or better 2 or even 3 women and make a child with each of them ;)

All you can lose then is that you will not see some of your children.

incelinthirty · 2021-02-21T10:53:09+00:00

It would really suck to know that having kids is a one-way road to being miserable.

Having kids is normal. Countless men have had children in the past. Your father had you. So it's not a path that leads to misery. But having children with a woman in this political climate is extremely risky. In case of a divorce, you'd end up losing half your life-savings, have to pay child support, and in spite of making such contributions, may not be able to see your children because your wife doesn't allow it.

Sorry to break it to you but you are at the wrong place and wrong time. Marriage in 2021 has nothing in it for men, it's a meal ticket for women who've rode the carousel all their teen years and now looking for a beta simp to settle down.

Title	Is Marriage Totally out of the question? New reader.
Author	Top_Noise_713
Upvotes	14
Comments	56
Date	February 19, 2021 7:30 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/lnob1p/is_marriage_totally_out_of_the_question_new_reader/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/is-marriage-totally-out-of-the-question-new-reader.743176 https://theredarchive.com/post/743176

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