I’m an 18yr old CEGEP student (2-year school in Quebec after High School and before University). I’ll enter university in fall 2021 at a prestigious university in my city, which means I’ll still live at home for a while.

After reading No More Mr Nice Guy (bad writing but great lessons), I decided to assert myself a bit more, and say no more often. When my mom asks me to do something I don’t want to, I decline politely when I really don’t want to do it. Although my attitude is much more controlled than before (one of the advantages of being honest with what you want), my mom still gets pissed for no apparent reason and tries to divert the subject.

I think my mom is mad that I’m becoming like my father. In retrospect, if I had listened to what he told me and acted like he did, I probably wouldn’t ask AskTrp for help. He’s naturally alpha: calm, collected smart, doesn’t engage with bullshit he doesn’t want to engage with and passes my mom’s shittests pretty well. Seeing him do that when I was younger would make me mad (still does some times), leading me to become a big mama’s boy. Even then, we would argue often because of my repressed Nice Guy emotions.

Am I wrong for asserting myself, akin to what my father did and still does? I feel like an asshole/angry sometimes when I do it, even though I simultaneously feel good about myself, and my mom’s anger seems to pass as well after I assert myself.

Mind you, I haven’t been to school in 11 months, following classes online during that time. It’s also been a while since I’ve been around a lot of people, so it’s hard to gauge whether it’s just my mom reacting weirdly or if it’s just me.