I want to start this off by saying Ive never really had any previous mental health issues, but I'm honestly at the end of the line.

This morning I received gut wrenching news that my uncles health is further deteriorating. On top of his ongoing battle with cancer, he found out the vertebrae in his spine are breaking down and failing him. My mom is a wreck emotionally because it's her older brother. Which isn't making life easier.

Top off with the mundane covid life of eat-sleep-work, unaffordable costs of living (Vancouver), and ongoing political theater, I'm just done. I want to scream, but no sound comes out. I want to cry, but the tears just aren't there. I had work to keep me busy, but now even that's slowing down. I can't converse with my spiritual leader due to covid preventing any in person interactions/services.

I'm pretty sure it's depression, but I won't give a shrink the satisfaction of putting me on medication for it. I'm just sick of everything in life at this point.