So I've recently re-read NMMNG for the 3rd time and I finally get it,why I act like a Nice guy and never being a problem for anyone and not having any needs.

I've observed my mother in action and my dad in action recently because I've been trying to identify the pattern.

They are divorced for 3 years now but when they were together,they were never happy and always arguing. In the end my dad was just laying around on the couch all day while my mother was cheating on him behind his back.

My dad was always angry at me really quick if I didn't know how to do something or I did something wrong.He would cuss me out like I did the most horrible shit in the world.

Now,I thought my mom was the angel untill I found out: she cheated,she witheld money from my dad when they were together and lots of other shit.And the most important part here: whenever I wanted something,she acted all humble like; you don't need this we already have this when we clearly didn't and whenever I tried to be myself and didn't act the way she wanted I would get made fun of.

And she makes passive agressive comments at me all the time.And she brings up stories when I was little,Example: *talking to my sister* "Remember when [me] cried on Christmas when he didn't get what he wanted and he cried hahahaha"(She also told this story to her coworkers at work as a joke,while it clearly wasn't to me). Like what the fuck,she said that right in front of me.

And she always used to talk behind my back(not just her,but my dad,sister(she's a whole different story)),when I was in my room playing video games all days because of self esteem issues.I was also bullied when I was little for being fat and she or my dad didn't say shit to me.Never got any love from my parents that I hoped I would get.

Also; my uncle(drunk loser) used to taunt me about my dad being a retard(he isn't) and beat me allegedly but I don't remember since I was that young.Basically the whole family of my mother's side were huge assholes.

How do I fix my self esteem issues? Anything bad someone says about me and I get butthurt real quick and take it personally.