I need someone to guide me right now. I have been abused and bullied throughout my life and now it is my third year of uni. I have been too depressed to wake up before 2 pm for the last 2 years and have slept until 1pm at the least for the past 2 years. I have zero self confidence and am no sense of direction, like literally zero.

12 months ago i discovered trp and started exercising and eating healthy everyday. i got a gf pretty soon after that and i was unbreakable at that point of time. I had been working on myself for about 6 months and even if my confidence was low i was taking it step by step. So, 6 months into all this i got a gf who seemed to be perfect at that point of time. She had been in an ltr but had broken off with that guy as it was long distance for 2 years. On the first date, she said that i would never replace the guy as he was the closest person she had. She used to talk to him everyday and soon i started comparing myself to him. I started looking at his profile everyday of my life, sometime even every minute. He was getting buff and she used to like all his pics. I used to accuse her of liking her ex more but she said that it was not the case. It felt like i cared more about her ex than her. I kept breaking up with her everyday and she kept crying and asked me to come back but still didnt stop talking to him. She also forbade me to meet any girls and felt it fine to meet with him. 6 months into my relationship, she breaks up with me and goes back to her ex. That brings us to this. My life is a wreck and i have failed a semester. All my friends have left me. I have put on 7 kgs and eat and drink everyday but this obsession with her ex hasnt gone away and i still check him out everyday. He is way better than me in everyday and am i am freaking failure.