I'm 22 and have never been in a relationship with a girl despite trying desperately in high school and shortly before & after. I never got any interest, ehich led me to questioning why and finding mgtow a few years ago. I've tried to take the ideals to heart and accept reality but I'll admit the last few years I've still had the nagging feeling of wishing I had the choice or ability to be in a relationship, having never experienced the touch, etc.

But over the last few months the more I've thought about it something has just kind of clicked that the girl I want, the girl I fantasize about doesn't exist... I want someone who respects themselves and others, hasn't had many sexual relationships or an onlyfans, is honest and loyal, you see where I'm going with this. It was all more or less hopeless from the start even if it would have been nice to have a normal teenage youth; I still wouldn't have found what I really wanted.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just coping and you're free to tell me I am. But when I see girls outside or online I just feel kind of dead inside when I look at them, I don't really get worked up like I used to unless I'm forced to interact with them in which case I'm a bit awkward. I don't really care about them giving me a chance anymore, because as unbelievable as it may have sounded to me years ago they're starting to become undesirable to me. I think about what would change about me in the next few years that would allow them to be attracted to me and the only thing is money. So if in a few years it all starts working out like everyone always tells me I'm pretty certain it'll just be gold diggers.