I used to believe that I needed to be engaged/married by 30, and I believed that my boyfriend and I would stay together forever.

I used to think that it was an amazing feat we had been together for over ten years, even though I have no ring to show for it.

I used to tell myself it’s ok that he rarely does anything special for my birthday/Christmas/our anniversary because he occasionally buys me $2k+ purses instead even though I’ve told him how important it is that he put in some effort on those specific three days.

But as we’ve grown further and further apart this last year, I’ve realized that he does not/can not/will not meet my emotional needs. While he has many HVM traits, he is not a HVM for me because my needs are not being met.

Today is our 11th anniversary and he’s forgotten. As this group has reminded me, if he wanted to he would. Instead, he’ll probably claim he was too busy with work to remember. I’m actually grateful now we never got married, because things would be a lot more complicated.

I’ve also come to term with the fact that I am currently not a HVW, and it’s time to focus on me and my growth. I won’t lie, I’m terrified. But I’m more terrified of staying a pickme.