i am a fearful person. every stranger appears hostile to me. every friend is secretly judging me. every woman is disgusted by me. i can count the conversations i've had with girls on one hand. i am weak and can do nothing right. i can't even get out of my own head long enough to read a book or focus on my reps.

i am an angry person. i have a lot of repressed rage that has never been properly exercised or expressed. i take it out on the dog a lot, kicking and shouting, the only creature in the entire world that i have any measure of power over.

i am a hateful person. i hate my parents for raising me to be this way. i hate women for rejecting me. i hate other people simply for having more than i have.

i've been this way my entire life and it doesn't seem like there's any way out.