I highly recommend this book! The author takes us through the ups and downs her dating life, the lives of the historical (mostly) single women who inspired her, and her fierce drive to remain independent. Here are some of my favorite passages (may not be copied perfectly as I wrote them down while listening to the audiobook; and I bolded some of her really powerful lines): 

“Over the years I’ve noticed that only men use this phrase - “unlucky in love” - in reference exclusively to unmarried women, as if they can’t possibly comprehend that contentment or even happiness is possible without the centrality of a man. Even my father said it to me, with all good intentions, after a breakup. I told him that I was sad for sure that the relationship hadn’t worked out, but that in fact I considered myself lucky in love. I’d had the pleasure of falling in love several times, with men who had loved me in return. Just because one or the other of those relationships hadn’t lasted my entire life didn’t detract from what I’d gained.”

“‘Spinster wish’: my private shorthand for the novel pleasures of being alone. As I grew older and felt more strongly the cultural expectation of marriage, the words became more like a thought experiment. A way to imagine in detail what it would look like to never settle down. The word “wish” is crucial. A wish is a longing, not a plan of action. … I wanted to find other avenues of meaning and identity.”

“Today we tell girls to grow up to be or do whatever they want, but the cultural pressure to become a mother remains very strong. Rare is she who doesn’t occasionally succumb to the nagging fear that if she remains childless, she’ll live to regret it. Writing this book shows me that the question I'd long posed to myself - whether to marry or to be single - is a false binary. The space in which I’ve always wanted to live - indeed, where I have spent my adulthood - isn’t between those two poles, but beyond it. The question of being married or being single doesn’t even belong here in the 21st century. The question now is something else entirely: Are women people yet? By which I mean, are we finally ready for a young woman to set out on the long road of her life as a human being, who inhabits but isn’t limited by her gender? We’ve been evolving towards this question ever since America was founded, albeit excruciatingly slowly, and with many starts and stops along the way. Until the answer is an undeniable Yes, a girl actually can’t grow up like a boy, free to consider the long scope of her life as her own distinct self.”

“I grant that a wholesale reclamation of the word “Spinster” is a tall order. My aim is more modest: to offer it up as shorthand for holding onto that in you that is independent and self sufficient, whether you’re single or coupled. If you’re single, whether you’re never married, divorced, or widowed. You can carry the word with you like a talisman, a constant reminder that you’re in very good company. Indeed, part of a long and noble tradition of women - past and present - living on their own terms. If you find yourself unhappily coupled, you can use the word “Spinster” to conjure a time when you weren’t. And to recall that being alone is often far preferable to being in a bad relationship. Figuring out how to reclaim that happier self can offer a roadmap out. For those happily coupled, particularly those balancing work and children, “Spinster” can be code for remembering to take time out for yourself. And if you’ve never learned how to be alone in a way that feels fruitful and energizing, there’s no time like the present.”