Declining drinks at my place

kdsflyfree · 2021-06-05T11:17:20+00:00

This looks like ASD to me. Some girls who are really into you will hold off on easy sex because they seek more commitment than an ONS.

That doesn’t necessarily make you a betabux, but it could indicate that your SMV isn’t high enough for them to throw caution to the wind. These types of women may see you as potential bf material and don’t want to be a pump and dump.

Your invitation was another direct invitation to sex, and she declined, just as she said “no” twice previously. It may be because she’s not DTF with you, or it could be that you’re just coming on too strong with no “out” for her where her hamster can rationalize, “well, it just happened.”

It’s seldom (never?) worth it to wait for sex but one date isn’t really waiting, especially since you haven’t given her plausible deniability. This is on you for not reading the signals and being too direct before she was ready (three times now). But being too bold is not necessarily a fatal flaw.

Women are the choosers for sex, men for commitment. She’s turned down your clumsy attempts but that doesn’t mean you’re in her frame.

She seemed responsive on your first date.

I’d withdraw for a week (not too long or she’ll forget you), pursue other women, and then Invite her to join you somewhere public but close to your place where she has some plausible deniability. If she bails this time then she’s just not that into you.

Inertia_Override · 2021-06-05T10:55:26+00:00

You don’t have her hot and bothered yet. She playing the “I’m not a slut” relationship game. Even though she’s probably a total slut with the right guy. Anyway she’s 19 and you’re going for drinks? That’s gonna be hard to do.

All 3 of your options suck if you’re tryina hit it. Don’t ask her recommendations for anything, tell her what you are doing. The other 2 obviously don’t get you laid (by her).

Tell her y’all gonna grab food at some place near your house. But if she wants to drink she gotta come over after unless she got a fake ID.

You gotta get her hot and bothered first. You gotta escalate, you gotta talk dirty, you gotta make out with her, that’s when she will come over. Meet up somewhere and get her horny. Then go get drinks at your place.

Her: “I don’t want to go to your place”

You: “That’s cool, I was kinda feeling a burger anyway. You down for Super Awesome Burger”?

gbizzle2 · 2021-06-05T12:52:26+00:00

The name of the game is this. You dont love these hoes. All that cuddling and shit is blue pill works. If she cannot follow your lead then let her lead herself back to the streets.

All that waiting and hoping for her response and walking on eggshells trying to make the right move are the works of a blue pill beta mindset. She should be seeking your approval. The rules are yours. Trying to make the "right move" is a position of subservience.

CrypticV3nom · 2021-06-05T12:56:43+00:00

Pretty sure amused mastery is in the sidebar, try reading it.

bordstol · 2021-06-05T14:29:13+00:00

You have been labelled, by her, as a player. A "simp" (as you call it) wouldn't have their hand on her ass or try to kiss her twice. Most girls are attracted towards this behaviour but they don't want to be slutty. You need to make it easier for them to fuck you without getting that label. So do something more "romantic", like a bottle of wine and some fruit to a park near you, and then move the date back to your after. She will feel like she was on a proper date and won't feel bad about fucking you.

cornpoke · 2021-06-05T13:30:08+00:00

"I don't like girls who makes rules" as a power play

you've already lost kid, no one in power ever consulted a forum of random men to decide for them if they 'come out on top' over some elementary harmless little girl.

MattyAnon · 2021-06-05T13:02:27+00:00

Is there a proper way to starting a date at your place?

Depends on your logistics, but one plan is to meet at yours to "drop her stuff off", show her round very quickly, then head out.

Going back to yours "to see my etchings" will be much easy when she's already been in it.

I tried to lean in twice but both times she said no.

If she won't kiss: she is either very unattracted or committed elsewhere.

How would one approach this specific situation?

I think she doesn't want to fuck you.

"I don't like girls who makes rules" as a power play to let her know i'm not a simp and revert to beta bux perception

Everyone makes their own rules. You do, girls do, it's fine.

The problem is that this girl DOES NOT WANT TO FUCK YOU. That's why she's avoiding drinks at your place. Because she DOES NOT WANT TO FUCK YOU.

Sounds like i've been labelled a beta bux at this point.

Did you pay for drinks and/or food? Did you listen to her problems? Did she emotionally unload on you? Providing these services will get you labelled a beta bucks.

If so: go 50-50 in future and you'll avoid these problems. The girls that insist on you paying DO NOT WANT TO FUCK YOU, so you don't need them around anyway.

TheGreatestSpice · 2021-06-05T14:14:57+00:00

Signs of trust issues and doubt, soft next as you don’t want to get #metooed

TeddyMGTOW · 2021-06-05T16:07:18+00:00

PUA's have some tips and tricks you can read up on if you wanna go that route.

I'm R.P. so when I invite a gal over its a take it or leave it offer. Sure I may miss some opportunities but I don't have to deal with the BS. With a little effort you can have a plate or two in your rotation on your terms..

HaroldTFinch · 2021-06-05T16:20:22+00:00

Say ok, no problem.

Leave it at that. If she wants something let her suggest it. If she actually is interested, she will say something Then say whatever she suggests is a good idea, but in the meantime your friends called so it will be another day.

Title	Declining drinks at my place
Author	nick4178
Upvotes	5
Comments	17
Date	June 5, 2021 10:39 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/nssyvq/declining_drinks_at_my_place/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/declining-drinks-at-my-place.780147 https://theredarchive.com/post/780147

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