Whenever I begin any new relationship I immediately think what this new person can offer in my life. Now I understand this action is a normal reflex of the human condition, always measuring each other, and that most people do it but unconsciously.

At Least I can be thankful that I’m aware of it.

I also think about what this person could obtain from me and what would they be willing to do in order to obtain it. I know this isn’t the healthiest practice one could develop, you end up understanding that no one, and I mean, NO ONE does anything for free and while angering at first it becomes liberating over time.

There is always something to be obtained from another human being: money, favors, recognition, attention, love, help, a contact, your ego stroked, a sense of purpose… This is the base of human relationships, the mutual exchange of value.

Whoever tries to convince you differently, is trying to fool you and themselves… unless they aren’t and then you have to be very careful of who you are dealing with, either delusion or lies do not bode well.

Social media, television and other outlets insist that every human being has the same value, everyone is just perfect the way they are born, it’s said. But when you look at the real world things are starkly different.

Thousands, no, MILLIONS of people are rejected, hurt, ignored and even killed for being low-value individuals. There isn’t a magic recipe to make or identify a low-value individual, but there is an absence of ‘something’ that makes them valuable for other humans under their (Higher value individuals) normal conditions.

Luckily, almost everyone ends up developing something, intentional or not, that makes them a valuable part of society, be it charisma, a great body, money, presence, political power, social status. You name it. It can be something as effortless as being an excellent listener. Our social brains quickly scan, measure and provide our internal view of the world with a representation of these beings, an invisible value is assigned to them and we feel respect, admiration or even awe for them.

But when value is absent or hidden, the sensation can be replaced by disdain or even disgust and anger.

Being low value is a dark place but an unavoidable consequence of lacking something to offer to the world, and commonly people will try to abuse, harm, use and discard these low-value individuals, for what are they going to do? They aren’t going to defend themselves, they can’t as they lack power, specially in the area they are being abused.

Other humans will refrain from doing so if abusing these people will cause their own reputation to drop in the eyes of others, thus lowering their own value, but will quickly jump at the opportunity if there are gains to extract and no price to pay. Entire religions and underworlds of eternal punishments had to be created to dissuade men and women from gutting their neighbor for a penny.

The biggest deterrent for being abused by a higher value individual is becoming higher value yourself, not necessarily turning into a master of every area, although that is desirable, but becoming a well-rounded force with one or two really good areas to present to the world and show that power, for there is no situation where there is power and low value, the two go hand in hand.

A no-one, with no education and no money but built, jacked and imposing isn’t going to receive shit from anyone and will be intrinsically respected by others who wouldn’t miss the chance to make his life hell shouldn’t he be a physical power-house, as he has one form of power.

In the opposite end, you could have a skinny and sickly man bad-mouthing everyone with a cocky attitude and tolerated as he is the CEO of some successful corporation with a sea of networks, being dislikable but respected and even sought for his opinions.

These diametrically opposite images end up being on the same side of the spectrum because they have a form of value that makes them inherently powerful and thus, dangerous if ignored or disrespected but profitable and helpful if tended to.

Lacking a form of power within human society is the easiest way to get rejected and suffer.

Power doesn’t have to be aggressive or dominant, a woman that’s socially skilled and known, able to handle any situation with words and elegance is going to be considered a social force to be respected, even if she has little education or money. It can happen to a man too, but more is asked from him.

For these valuable people rejection and betrayal are not an everyday occurrence, and they often come from other similarly valuable individuals or occasionally from misguided folk and they will often have the tools to reduce the damage caused or even punish severely whoever dared touch them.

A public humiliation by a socially powerful woman, an ass beating from a jacked bodybuilder or a potentially life ruining call from an spiteful CEO are the literal stuff of nightmares for many individuals in the world, and no wonder, people covet and fear power.

You do not fear to be rejected and betrayed. You fear being powerless. You fear lacking options and answers.

Exercise, study, network. Find power, create value.