You've been through some rough times, don't you? You've done many good things for other people but never something for yourself.

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You thought that being selfless would bring you happiness but it didn't. No, I'm not being honest, it did make you happy but nobody ever told you that you also needed to take care of yourself.

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Of course, being an agreeable very serious catholic directed you to the path you've been walking. No one was as devoted as you were, no one did as much as you did and currently do. Nobody really knew that you were going through a very deep depression that lasted 4 years.

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Following the 10 commandments was important, specially the "You shall not commit adultery". But that was easy to comply for a 5'5, overweight and unconfident guy.

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But last year, after a long break from thinking about women, you decided that you'd play the game.

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You didn't want only sex from girls because that was a sin, you wanted to form a relationship first. I guess you know how well that went for you.

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You stumbled upon TRP and your world shattered but you learned important things.

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You began going to the gym and the 8 shaped body turned into an almost 7 and you started noticing occasional IOIs but you still didn't want to relate with hypergamous and solipsistic beings.

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But today you've accepted reality. Even though spinning plates is the most efficient way to get into LTRs and you'll be serving the femenine imperative you can't go against your own morality.

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You have more tools now, you'll get into an LTR (nor marriage neither cohabitation) only on your terms and if she demostrates devotion to you because you're the prize. She just needs to be, you have done and you'll have to do. If she makes a mistake she'll be gone because she's not special, she's just a passenger, you are the driver and there will be more passengers in the future.

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You'll enjoy the ride as long as it lasts because you can't control her, you can only control yourself. You'll love her knowing that she can't love you the same way and that she'll leave if she runs into a better option.

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But you need to love your mission more than anything else because that will bring you the most happiness in this world.

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Thanks TRP and the manosphere in general for saving me from a miserable life.