Last night....

Platos_slow_brother · 2016-12-06T17:46:30+00:00

Don't call her a "plate" if, in fact, in her mind you are in a monogamous relationship with her. If that is the case, she is not a plate, she is a girlfriend you are lying to and cheating on. Don't come her pretending you are plating a gal you are simply sneaking around on and not telling her the score.

If she really is a plate---i.e., she knows damn well that you are having sex with other women, because you have been clear about this---what do you care if she wants to look at your phone? It will only show her what she already knows.

More generally, your phone is not your secret heart's file folder. Only keep items of administration on it. No nudes. No messages that should not be seen by cops, parents, whomever. It is not a lockbox of secrets. It is quite the opposite. It is like your front pant's pocket, at best.

dr_warlock · 2016-12-06T18:15:57+00:00

What the fuck is all that nonsense, /u/fnordsnord? This is completely unacceptable behavior. There is never a time where a girl is entitled to look at your phone, not even if she's your wife. Ain't no bitch gonna check up on me to see if I'm 'acting right'.

I just stopped everything I was gonna say and do, and just got my stuff and left. Didn't say another word to her, nor did I even look at her. I just silently left

You did exactly what you should have done.

deadwoodcylon · 2016-12-06T17:55:10+00:00

She tried being your plate but eventually that became too much for her and she got jealous. Her jealousy and curiousity got the best of her that night and she effectively gave you an ultimatum (unlock your phone or else).

You did the right move by leaving on the spot. Continue with your hard next. Never contact her again.

Whiskytoast · 2016-12-06T21:49:40+00:00

I would have unlocked my phone, let her look at it, give her a chance to apologize, then grabbed my shit at left never even looking back.

fnordsnord · 2016-12-06T17:28:56+00:00

Were you cheating? If I were watching this scene on TV, I'd think that somebody on her computer chat or Facebook told her you were cheating, so she snatched your phone to confirm. Her remarks about cheating during and after the scuffle also lead me to think that somebody convinced her she needed to check up on you.

Did you handle it properly? Dunno. She broke up with you over it. Was holding frame regarding your phone worth that?

If there was nothing hinky on your phone for her to find, it might have been worth it to go utterly flat faced, sneer, and hand her the unlocked phone an stand there, glaring at her while she went through it.

Then, when she found nothing silently hold out your hand for your phone and take it, the rest of your stuff and leave. That would have put you in a position where you had hand. It would also have been the alpha way to let her go through your phone: your choice, not hers.

But your phone is your business, not hers, and there's nothing wrong with maintaining your privacy, even in an LTR.

So the relationship is broken up, and she is left feeling she's the righteous one. I'd give this a "C-" for handling.

Because, no. No woman is allowed to just snatch your phone out of your hands and start going through it.

Title	Last night....
Author	chewbackaflocka
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	December 6, 2016 4:37 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5gtuek/last_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/last-night.78675 https://theredarchive.com/post/78675

Comments