Help identifying PickMeisha-like behaviour and help to correct it?

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2021-02-18T21:29:37+00:00

Yes. We let the attractive boys pass by. If they're interested in you they will come to you.

The whole point of FDS is that you have a whole life going on that you don't worry about men. You want a man who is crazy about you and respects you.

Internalize this mantra : If he wanted to, he would.

If that cute boy walking by doesn't notice you - he doesn't want you! You don't want to endlessly fight to keep a guy around.

You have hobbies, a career, family, friends, pets, goals, dreams. Tons and tons of shit do in your life. Why are you desiring to waste time on someone who might see your interest as an easy way to fuck?

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-02-19T00:42:38+00:00

First of all reading your edit, please remember we are all individual women here, FDS has a collective voice in the handbook, and that is the reflection of the sub as a whole. I’m sorry if you are not feeling supported. There are many people who come here simply to troll the community with questions that are meant to be in direct conflict to the rules/handbook, so to hear someone say, “I’ve read the handbook but I can’t/don’t want to follow it.” is extremely frustrating.

What exactly are you hoping for when it comes to advice and support? I think the main issue here is you are trying to date again without doing the much needed work on yourself to improve your self esteem, confidence, and boundary enforcement. When you are willing and able to begin doing that work, the pickme behavior will begin to be a thing of the past. So I would say, I’m proud of you for recognizing you deserve better and stepping up your expectations, but you need to remove yourself from the dating world until you are more in love with your own company so you do not feel that desperation to attract male attention. We do let attractive men pass is by, because if they wanted to be with us they would pursue us. When you make yourself overly available you are inviting yourself to be used, gaslit, manipulated, and discarded, so until you can work on those boundaries you are going to struggle to become the HVW you hope to be.

I believe in you. You need to believe in yourself.

WildTenderness · 2021-02-18T23:04:38+00:00

The only way I think it would be acceptable (but definitely not ideal) is to find a way to give him your contact info. I'm not sure how you know this guy, but make it subtle based off the circumstances and get something out of it.

For example, if you know him from work or school, you would say something like "can you help with X project after class/work?" You get his contact info, get his help, and that's it. This puts the ball in his court and you don't message him until and if he reaches out. If he makes no attempt at conversation or getting to know you, he's not interested or a LVM (he lacks confidence/proactivity).

Although this generally isn't the best idea. It's much better to have a guy see you first and want to pursue you, so tread lightly.

Summerisle7 · 2021-02-18T20:56:13+00:00

You don't text first, you don't approach first. Read the Handbook.

level_up_always · 2021-02-19T00:24:42+00:00

i feel like it's getting in touch with your intuition you know when something doesn't feel right there is also this almost eager drug like effect that feels 'good' in a way but like feening (can't spell that word?? haha) for another hit

Title	Help identifying PickMeisha-like behaviour and help to correct it?
Author	pearlspirit27
Upvotes	1
Comments	20
Date	February 18, 2021 8:17 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/lmw4a6/help_identifying_pickmeishalike_behaviour_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/help-identifying-pickmeisha-like-behaviour-and.792583 https://theredarchive.com/post/792583

Comments