I have a mood disorder. Through extremely hard work, I've been able to manage it on my own without medication. It does, however, require a very stable environment, routines, and patience from whoever I live with.

I don't currently have those things I need.

I feel like the minute I seek help (past therapy), I'm a headcase and lose value. But at the same time, I think I need something to calm me down because I'm constantly stressed, tense, and depressed, and my fiance hates it. He gets extremely irritable when I'm in a low mood, and my higher/good moods aren't much better, because he says I'm too jittery and it annoys him.

When I'm level, I'm great. I can take his moodiness/irritability in stride, and he tends to be more affectionate and patient (which is what I need). But the more I get knocked off kilter, the more difficult it is to get back in balance. I feel like for the sake of our relationship, I need to do something.

Would I be a failure if I sought medication? Can I still be a good RPW future wife and mother?

I feel like such a failure for not being able to fix this on my own.