I needed the redpill a year ago, really my whole life, but a little over a year ago I hit rock bottom and this has been my AA...

I went through all the steps, i read as much as I could, I've been lifting non stop, i went into monk mode, but I wasn't hungry - I had no drive. I was just existing, not living. No matter what I did i couldn't force myself to be social. I was a boring fuck. I could barely force my self to leave the house or leave the bed. I was literally sleeping 10+ hours a day plus naps. I exhausted all the time, i was perfectly happy to sit around the house all day and read or watch tv. Let's not even mention how my performance at work suffered. The biggest accomplishment of every day was making it to the gym and pushing through a workout. My lifts stalled quickly, i was not gaining strenght, i gained no muscle mass, every time i tried to bulk i'd literally only get fat. No matter how well i dieted and worked out (even with a trainer and nutritionist) i couldn't lose that lit bit of flab around my stomach. My sex drive was dead, I could easily no fap for weeks without even trying, and when i did finally fap it was usually out of boredom. I tried hooking up with old fuck buddies, but it was just...forced, i could get the job done, i could make her scream, but I had no passion, i got little enjoyment out of it... i mean it felt alright, but i had no desire, i was just going through motions... So I could keep rambling about that for a while now, let's move on.

I know I've had low T for at least 8 or 9 months now after i read a post here about low T and asked my doctor to check it. I've had multiple test results bouncing around the bottom of the normal range, some just under it and some just over it. I started seeing doctors and specialists but none would help me because my age, i was on the wrong side of 40 for them to consider giving me trt. my "blood levels were in range" even though they were literally at the bottom of a range that does not account for age. You're levels will vary greatly, an 18 year old will be much higher than an 80 year old, but the lab range doesn't care. a Level of 350 would be fine for an 80 year old man, but laughable for an 18 year old. Most doctors did not care, despite my symptoms, the lab had me in range. One gave me an off label treatment for low T that in the long run made matters worse and wasted 6 months of my life. In the end, out of extreme desperation because i was just existing through life and lot living, I self medicated with black market testosterone injections. My next step will be an "anti aging clinic" now that i know my little experiment is working, but they are very expensive and not accepted by insurance.

It's only been about 2 months since i've been taking matters into my own hands, but i'm literally a different person. I'm able to go out and not only engage in conversation but lead them. I am more than happy with 6 hours of sleep a night and can just keep going all day, no more mid day naps. My strength has started going up in the gym and i no longer struggle to finish workouts. My dick feels like it's 16 again and my mind is a dark sexual place. I see a chick walk by in some tight shorts with a nice ass and i'm at half mast. I'm having a conversation with cute a girl and all i can think about is pushing her down to her knees and grabbing a fistful of her hair... In general my mood is just better, energy levels higher, i'm a happier person and a less shitty person to be around.

I still have a lot of me to work on and it's a never ending process, but i've literally made more progress in the last month than I have in the last year. If any of this sounds familiar look into it.