Sup gents

Half a year ago i was at a very dark place in my life, was seriously contemplating suicide. I always had depression on and off in my life, was never an easy or comfortable life, which i dont mind since i know that in order for a man to grow there have to be adversities.

I have always thought that in order to feel happy or fulfilled i have to get something like a lot of money, a nice car, have sex with hot girls.. Bullshit like that.

Ive put in tremendous work last 5 years, ive achieved it all, i have seen and experienced it all, yet i didnt feel fulfilled. I just got accustomed to having these things..

Lots of crappy things happened past few years, including losing my best friend to an argument which made me despise him, him whom ive known and trusted from childhood. Quite a few people know and respect me since i have good social status, and some of my friends actually give a shit about me, yet I've always felt all alone. Also quit my job cause my boss was trying to disrespect me. Was at home for half a year, playing video games and riding motorcycle all day, but it didn't help me at all. At that time i was very lost and couldnt see any reason to keep pushing. Ive already been through and beyond life, yet i didnt like the outcome at all. People betraying me, treating me badly despite ive always been good hearted. I was there sitting lost and injured. Was thinking about that i might just hang myself, ive already seen it all, i dont like it at all. Ive also been to a therapist, but i had the feeling that she knows jack shit about my sufferings so i took control over the situation myself. Came to the conslusion that i could just give a shit about my worthless life and do things that no man dares to do. Ive already done courageous things before, fear never kept me from doing anything. On the opposite, if i ever felt fear towards anything, i just went and done it anyways. I know that fear is just an illusion trying to keep men safe and comfy - fuэk that.

So i decided to push even harder and do such things that only a few men dares to do. I've decided to turn my life around.

Ive quit smoking, eating shitty food, quit drinking alcohol, watching porn, jerking off, wasting time aimlessly. I have quit all social media, very limited phone use

Learned how to cook, learned a lot about human body and biology, cooking and eating healthy every single day, working out every day either weight training or running/sprinting. Taking only cold showers ever since.Started meditating. Used to have good personal hygiene, but i have even better now, i care about my body a lot more now. Reading a lot about topics that interest me. Ive already learned fluent german from textbooks, now i am learning russian every day. I care a lot more about being tidy and about the quality of my work.

I've done quite a big change, all of this while being on the road as a truck driver, isolated.

Past 2 months im feeling good, emotionally stable, nothing really worries me,ive quit and ghosted everything that could worry me.

This is my experience so far, i want to grow even bigger. Going to explore the world even further, both with my truck and motorcycle. Do you have any other good practices? I also want to learn more about money, investments and business. Any book that you can recommend?

Hope my shit motivates someone in need.