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Where should I start?

bladefish1

March 4, 2021

0 upvotes

I (40 M) will be filing for Divorce soon after 10 years of marriage and 5 year old son. I will get 50-50 time with my son. I am happy for that but, I have so many questions and fears.

I am from India. So there will be a huge back lash from immediate family and parents. I don’t expect any support except from my brother.
I constantly fear what if my son does not like the time he spends with me. I love him but I do have some rules while parenting ( he wants to play on ipad all the time).
What will it be like when he is not with me. I will be so alone and miserable.
At 40 with a kid , it is almost impossible to find someone that will accept me for what I am.
Also, is it a good idea to move at the time of divorce to be closer to family? Both me and me wife have family in Atlanta.

I need help, where should I start?

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Post Information

Title	Where should I start?
Author	bladefish1
Upvotes	0
Comments	2
Date	March 4, 2021 12:01 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/lxiy2k/where_should_i_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/where-should-i-start.817366 https://theredarchive.com/post/817366

Comments

[–]WestcoastVal 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Lean on people who WILL support you, your brother, your friends and you may be surprised at how your family responds
Kids need structure, especially during divorce. Don’t feel bad about setting rules that are in his best interests. What he needs most is your love and attention, so do your best to give him that. Many dads fall into the trap of being the “fun parent” which really doesn’t do much for the child’s development.
Find things to do by yourself that you enjoy. What did you do before you met your wife? For me that means going on hikes, writing, drawing, hanging out with friends, but yours can be different. And yes, sometimes it will be miserable and lonely, but you will get through it.
40 is young these days! A 40 year old who is a good man who is a great dad is a good catch. If you feel you are undesirable in other ways, work to improve those areas of your life. A divorce is a great opportunity for self improvement.
If your family is supportive, and you want to move, it may be a good choice. However, you already have the stressor of the divorce and a move is another very stressful event. I moved locally a year and a half after my divorce and then I moved again Two years later cross country. I don’t regret it.

[–]bladefish1[S] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link