What 50-50 coparenting is like?

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-03-02T14:08:30+00:00

Don't ask for 50% parenting time; demand it. Do not install your wife as gatekeeper, else you won't get anything you want in the divorce. Dads are just as important a parent as mothers. Consider a daily mantra of "There is no universe in which I don't have 50% parenting time."

Women gaslight men into thinking they aren't a good parent throughout the marriage and especially after divorce. The number one reason that women end up with the majority of parenting time is because men fall on their sword. The mother is not the better parent because they gave birth (commonly known as golden uterus syndrome). Identifying and shedding that gaslighting can take a while, but you don't have that luxury. You need to get into the mindset that you are ready to parent your children 100% of the time.

The first rule of divorce is to not take legal advice from your STBX. She isn't looking out for your best interests; she's looking out for her own. That extends to parenting time.

xdrunkagainx · 2021-03-02T18:50:16+00:00

I have a 50/50 split. We do 2 days on, 2 days off, then 3 on. Every other weekend being the 3 day. If she's hesitant sell her on being completely child free for 3 days every other weekend to do whatever she wants while the kids will be with a competent adult willing to fight to the death to protect them. Can't put a price on alone time which is what they think they want until they find out how shitty dating is as a single mom.

SticksAndStoneSaint · 2021-03-02T23:23:31+00:00

Hey man, I've been successfully doing 50-50 for the past five months. In the beginning, she took so much I my parenting time that I had my lawyer file for the temp. 50/50 custody. The court obliged. Five months later, in mediation, her team tried to sell me 45/55 but 50/50 "on paper". Meaning I would still pay as if I have them 50% of them. I agreed but was terribly uncomfortable. When it came time to record the agreement, I backed out. I did not fight this long to become a 45% parent. My lawyer recommended I take it but I disagree vehemently.

Fight. Fight. Fight. Stay out of the mud but fight the hardest you've ever fought. He's your son too.

esak13 · 2021-03-02T18:12:20+00:00

Depends on the schedule too. We did week on week off. It was ok. You had a couple days to deal with the transition. Then you get to have a normal week with your kid.

The adverse is on your week off you miss your kid. Sure you have the time to do the things that need to get done... chores, overtime, hobbies, but you will miss your kid.

We switched to a modified 2/5 schedule. I have them Wednesday and Thursday one week then Wednesday through Monday morning the next week. I still get every other weekend alone and that allows me the time to catch up on adult stuff. I like this schedule because I get the kids every week so I know what's happening at school, how they are doing..etc. I don't have to contact the ex to talk to the kids because I'm always just a few days away from having them at my house.

Title	What 50-50 coparenting is like?
Author	bladefish1
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	March 2, 2021 1:31 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/lw1zx5/what_5050_coparenting_is_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-50-50-coparenting-is-like.1191711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1191711

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