I began posting about my marriage a few years under throwaway001470 on the r/offmychest and then when my marriage ended under this account. There is too much to recap here. On Monday we had a phone court counseling session. She is asking for my visitation to be reduced to 1 overnight a month and must be at a hotel.

And I am so broken at this point I was willing to accept it. We were told to work out a new plan and the call ended. We began to make some progress over text until this happened. None of the names have been changed to protect the innocent.Note for clarity Eoin is the man she she left me for 2 years ago that she met while working as an Adult webcam model. He also lives in Ireland

TL:DR Ex-wife refuses to let me have my children for visits because I may take to them to meet a female friend and her children until she meets my friend and her children. Friend and I declined on many reasons. Below is a typical text exchange between us.

Me: I suppose I should let you know that some of the kids visits will be in Bryan. My friend has kids about the same age

Laura: I will not permit visits with someone I haven’t met. I have to know they’re safe, so we can meet her and her kids together. Have a lunch or something

Me: I'll agree to that when Eoin talks to me Is Bryan still problem?

Laura: Yes. I will not allow the kids to go with a stranger

Me: Really? They aren't with a stranger they are with me. I did raise them for the majority of their life them meeting my girlfriend and her kids is dangerous? No its you can't stand that I might be happy Know what lets get the appclose app or the other one. I would love to spew all this on a platform viewed by the court

Laura: You’re holding onto the past, can’t accept people change and people move on. You have no interest in what is best for the kids. I am not the person who I was when we were married. I will not argue with you over any of this. If you refuse to allow me to meet who will be around the kids, then I cannot allow the kids to go. I feel it’s a reasonable request and I am asking for a meal with her in a public environment. Your refusal to even do that shows how you are unwilling to grow up and see beyond yourself. That’s your problem to work on, not mine. Once you start acting in the best interest of the kids, I will discuss things with you. Until then, please refrain from contacting me

Me: She declines to meet you

Laura: Then I do not allow the kids to go. If she’s unwilling to meet me, she’s hiding something and I don’t feel it’s a safe environment. This will be known in court as well, the counselor already knows.

Me: and besides the point. its no more reasonable to have the guy who for the last 2 years has been a influence on our children to speak with me

Laura: It’s not even in the same scenario. She’ll be in the physical presence of the kids. And I don’t trust you in the slightest. You and your whole family pop pills, sell your nieces prescriptions, deal with coke, how do I know she’s any better? My boyfriend isn’t even in physical contact with them. Now, stop contacting me

Me: make sure to tell the kids the reason they can't visit is because you don't want them to meet my (as far as they are aware)friend. I'm sure they will understand now that we've both thrown the past at each other. Can we have a discussion

Laura: I told the kids, they said they’re fine with it.

Me: I'm sure you told them something. It wasn't going to be any time soon. I was trying to be open with you. I could've not told you and just did it. You skipped that to go after the one thing you didn't like. I was and am willing to give you everything you want except what we had agreed to earlier. and you call me unreasonable

Laura: I told the kids I offered to have lunch with your girlfriend and you refused, she refused. I told them I do not feel comfortable with a stranger being around them and I feel it’s a reasonable request to meet with a person who is going to be in their lives. They said they understand and Kathryn said “I’d rather be safe than sorry and meet her before going to her house”. So I was not telling them anything we haven’t discussed. I am always open and honest with them. And I will always be open and honest with them.

Me: Well then I guess there is nothing more to discuss. For the exact same reasons I should talk with your boyfriend if anyones character should be looked at is his. All I know is from you that he drinks to excess. the way you met him. Speaks loads to it until I have a conversation with your S.O. Her and I decline to meet with you and for the record I didn't refuse she did wasn't my choice to make for her and not her house it would've been the park and I got a hotel for just the kids and I would've got*

Laura: This is the last thing I will say to you. I have never told you anything about my significant other, so do not make assumptions or accusations. We are talking about the kids, who will have physical contact with the kids. You are putting them at risk. You refuse to grow up and see what is in the best interest of the children. No, I will not allow them to be in her presence until I meet her. The court will even see that’s fair. The counselor already changed your visits to one Saturday a month. So unless you are requesting a visit, I done talking to you. You have no right to attack him, you’re being childish. You’re almost 40 years old, grow up.

Me: I have messages from you saying these things on facebook and nothings is changed yet judge still needs to approve the changes. and I will not sign any changes to the plan now. SO get you a lawyer spend lots of money to take what I was going to give.