Okay so little background, divorce was finalized last June of last year, we were together for 7 years she was the love of my life. We didn’t have the perfect relationship (obviously) things got rocky towards the end we were fighting a lot mostly from miscommunication, we had been trying to conceive a child for 3 years and she had finally gotten pregnant and things were looking up. She ended up miscarrying at 2-1/2 months and things just fell apart, we became distant and she left and filed for divorce I was a complete wreck I was so lost without her, I lost control got all strung out, attempted suicide. I got myself into counseling and started seeing a psych got on meds and got to where I could somewhat function. Still extremely depressed and just kind of coasting through life.. I had tried to reach out and reconcile so many times but was shut down every single time I wrote letters emails tried everything I could but she was done. Tried my stab at other woman (even a Vegas trip with another person I met here on Reddit smh)only to be let down, was just trying to fill this empty void and it was impossible I met the woman I am dating now 5 months ago she was the first woman I had a real connection with since my divorce and we were spending a lot of time together, well unexpectedly she got pregnant I’m not big on abortion so you know it was one of those things I made my bed so now I have to lay in it. She is now 4 months along and everything seemed like it was going great, then it happened....... She was laying in our room (I moved her in after we found out she was pregnant) and I was outside smoking and I get a text from a random # asking if I was busy, I replied no then the number FaceTimed me It was my ex wife she was crying saying how she had just gotten a tattoo to memorialize the child we lost, I lost it and started crying too we talked for a couple minutes and she asked if I wanted to come smoke with her. I left and was literally shaking I hadn’t heard her voice in almost a year much less seen here face to face.( I never showed to court or anything) There she was we embraced each other and hugged for like 2 solid minutes just crying then we got in her car and smoked and talked for around 2 hours. She went on about how she was miserable now and unhappy and that she missed me, I tried to hold it together but I couldn’t I told her I missed her everyday and that I still loved her, I told her I was having a baby and she just broke down As fucked as it is I told her I wished it was her living with me and having this baby it was supposed to be her I mean we just kind of left it open I told her I would give anything to be with her again and that I was still in love with her and she said she couldn’t expect me to drop everything to be with her I left telling her to call me for absolutely anything and said I would always be there for her we cried hugged and then I left I have just been so torn idk what I’m doing, idk if I should be hopeful that maybe there’s a chance that we could get back together or if I should just face it that it’s over I want to do the right thing by my current girlfriend as well but it’s just so fucking hard I’m thinking about my ex wife constantly It is a daily struggle not to reach out to my ex, it just opened up so much shit that I wasn’t over yet