A healthy marriage gives you a self-reinforcing cycle of positive energy that is very self-validating. I loved her, she loved me, the sexual bond just made it even closer. I really miss all of the above and look forward to when the divorce is final so I can experience positivity again from a woman in the context of romance. I have a pretty strong need for validation from a romantic partner and from women in general. I have male friends too but I just really love women and probably have an outsized need for approval from them. I know it's probably not ideal to rely on another for validation, but don't we all need that to some degree?

I have learned to take satisfaction in other forms of validation. Emotional support or even just lunch or dinner with a friend. That's working out pretty well. I take a measure of joy in any positive human interaction.

Recently I attended a sporting event and there is a woman who works as an usher at the entrance. We have spoken briefly at this venue over the years, nothing more than momentary chit chat. But she remembers me from previous interactions. This is not someone who as been a career ticket taker, probably retired and does this for the social interaction. She is probably a little outside my age range dating-wise (older), but she is attractive and gets a little flirty with me. (I am a man in my 50s). She squeezes my arm the way women do to see if you have muscles. Women can get away with that sort of thing in a way a man never can. I work out, so for my age yeah, I am pretty solid.

So not only is she being nice to me, she's also interacting with me physically in a way that ackowledges me as a man and even hints that she may find me attractive. I find these interactions give me a lift in a way that I really need right now. It's a micro-validation that won't lead to anything but it makes me feel really good.

Thanks for letting me share, my advice is to take your micro-validation whereever it presents itself as you heal from getting divorced.