Telling the kids

deadlast5 · 2019-08-11T22:07:53+00:00

My ex flaked out on me when we were supposed to tell them together. I’m still bitter over having to be the bearer of bad news to them.

Lingus4 · 2019-08-11T22:59:44+00:00

The advice we received from the relationship mediator was to sit down at the dinner table and for both of you very calmly and in turn to say to each of your children that you love them and that the other parent loves them too.

Then tell them that mummy and daddy have decided to live in separate houses for a while and that the children will be able to spend time with each parent and that they will have a room in each house to sleep.

Then tell them again that you love them and nothing will change that.

jabruno12776 · 2019-08-11T23:13:29+00:00

Be honest without telling them whatever details exist. For me I said that Mom and I don't love each other the way we should anymore. They cried. My ex and I told them that we know it hurts but all of our lives will be better for this in the long run and that we both love them more than they can imagine and whatever happens they will always be first in our lives. Mine were 8 and 10 so a bit older.

TheDude191179 · 2019-08-12T19:37:21+00:00

Just be ready to support them. My son was 10 at the time, and he leaned heavily on me, and still does. Just make sure they know you both love them. Good luck

warrior_up · 2019-08-12T01:23:42+00:00

Make sure they know it’s not their fault, mommy and daddy screwed things up - not them

Mazcok · 2019-08-13T15:27:51+00:00

We are a week away from telling our teenage boys.

She will most likely say "WE aren't happy living together, and WE have decided to get a divorce"

I will respond.

"I am still very much in love with my wife, and am committed to our marriage. I am doing everything I can to fight for our marriage, in hopes that we can reconcile, but don't get your hopes up. Its my hope that we can continue to create loving memories until the divorce in final."

This shows her for who she is. A walkaway wife.

Hopefully, it will show my sons that a man can retain his honor, abide by his oath, and still create a loving family environment. And hopefully it shows the boys that ANY woman can decide to fuck over the marriage at any time, for any reason. And they should approach every relationship with that in mind.

Title	Telling the kids
Author	doss2123
Upvotes	2
Comments	6
Date	August 11, 2019 9:43 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/cp2v01/telling_the_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/telling-the-kids.819313 https://theredarchive.com/post/819313

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