Once you have acknowledged divorce is eminent

SpacemanLost · 2019-04-01T22:46:53+00:00

Talk to an attorney to confirm what you can do and how it will be seen by a judge.

I've heard that you have rights to half the balance in any accounts, and just taking all of it would be seen in a bad light, and eventually you may be forced to repay it (odds increase with Y chromosome).

Also, find out what is the proper timing - before she is served? or the day of? and if it will make any difference in court.

One of the problems you may face is if any debts she ran up, such as credit cards, are in your name with her as just an authorized user. You can't just have the debt assigned to her, even if the court says so, because the contract is between you and the credid card company and not her. A judge can assign it in the decree, and she can decide not to pay, and it's you they will come after. Again - an attorney can clear all this up.

As for true joint accounts, like a savings account, look into getting yourself removed from them. Also, you need to protect yourself from her continuing to use your accounts after d-day. I knew a guy who who took all the credit cards away from his wife and destroyed them, yet though she claimed she couldn't ever remember things, she had the account numbers and info memorized somehow.

For accounts that will remain after d-day- remove any overdraft protection, or other linked accounts. You want clean hands when she hangs herself when her out of control spending continues and to prevent her going further into debt that might get assigned to you, such as an overdraft line of credit.

As for how to handle the regular household expenses because there isn't enough money, I'm not totally sure.

And expect her to go after any retirement accounts you have with a vengeance. My ex did, was awarded 75% of them, and the liquidated and spent all of it within 18 months despite $5K a month in alimony/child support and low cost of living - house+car payment was only $1300, and she had a clean start as ALL debt was assigned to me. She also ran up $10k in credit card debt during that time.

I guess I am saying:

1) Expect the absolute worst

2) Plan for the worse

3) Consult an attorney on how to do #2 along with all the other divorce stuff

4) Cross your T's and dot your 'i's. As the husband or main breadwinner, you will be under extra scrutiny.

4A) Don't take anything you're not entitled to. Give her nothing to scream to the court as proof to her potential claims.

In addition I would recommend things like:

1) Run current credit reports on the both of you

2) Make sure you have, at minimum copies of, all financial documentation - all accounts, tax returns, loans, etc, and put it somewhere safe BEFORE D-day

3) Prepare possible identity theft - she may get really, really pissed at you daring to divorce her, and decide "she's owed" by you, justifying opening a new credit card or account in your name. Put a freeze on your credit.

4) Update the mailing addresses, authorized users, passwords, and phone numbers on your financial accounts. This includes any 2FA settings on online accounts.

5) Extend the above to your email, facebook, linkedin, etc - Ask "how farked would I be if she could get into my email address on file with the bank/credit card company ?"

6) Get a new phone/second phone with a new number --> all accounts now have this #, and go to it, etc....

I think you get the idea...

MNCPA · 2019-04-01T16:38:26+00:00

My ex-wife closed our joint accounts and opened single accounts. Not a penny spared. My best advice is to prepare and expect anything.

BobQuasit · 2019-04-01T18:03:19+00:00

My advice to you is to lawyer up.

My ex was a shopping addict. Racked up all kinds of debts that I had to pay off. In the end, we lost our house.

BoskOfPortKar · 2019-04-03T15:00:31+00:00

Not sure it will help but we had separate accounts from the beginning and do 50/50.

If only I could have got access to her real estate 50/50 !

Title	Once you have acknowledged divorce is eminent
Author	LandOnMyFeet
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	April 1, 2019 4:21 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/b84jz8/once_you_have_acknowledged_divorce_is_eminent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/once-you-have-acknowledged-divorce-is-eminent.819650 https://theredarchive.com/post/819650

Comments