Wanted to air-out some frustrations for a moment and see if anyone else feels/felt that way...

Things I hear a lot as good advice that bug me.

***To be clear, I'm not doubting that these are good advice or that I don't take it seriously. It will sound like I am rebutting them, and I don't mean to sound unappreciative if you have given me this feedback. They're just facts of life that I struggle particularly with buying into and/or the advice warrants more nuance and explanation, compared to the top-bullet of how it's put to me.

1) Fundamental to moving on is "forgetting" about her. When this is expressed I feel like I'm being asked to rewrite history. I loved my ex profoundly, and I know she did too; it bugs me when I'm urged to look back on the last decade-and-change as a mistake. I can't control the future and I don't know if I will meet someone as important to me as my ex. I do know that if I dont, my marriage--though it failed--must be the happiest years of my life.

2) PUA artist-type of advice. Dating is definitely something I need to learn but the way it's talked about sometimes is...a little adversarial? My marriage from a dating standpoint was the best success of my life, and we simply clicked immediately. Getting to become the best person I can be...dress nice, get in ahape, be the person you want to date....that makes sense to me, but some of the self-help material I see about the psychology of women and some of the more detailed dating primers seen frankly cringy to me.

Feedback appreciated & thanks again for the connections made in previous conversations.