Need some guidance

dday_throwaway3 · 2018-11-02T11:49:35+00:00

Time to find an attorney. Here's a guide.

LatvianRifleman · 2018-11-02T15:42:48+00:00

Get a lawyer now. Protect your assets and kids. Don't trust a word she says. I have been in the same boat 3 years ago. Push emotions aside, there will be time for that. Rich out to your friends and family. Setup support network. Forget about any history you might of had with her; focus on yourself, and your kids. You will eventually come alright. Good luck!

Throwawayhusband1025 · 2018-11-02T14:56:33+00:00

Sadly, my friend, I am in a similar boat as you. My wife has been carrying on an emotional affair with a former flame that recently turned physical. I caught and confronted her and she told me that she wanted to work things out. The very next day, she returned to him and declared her love for him, calling them soulmates. She’s continued to see him while I’m at work or in the evenings when I’m at home with our children, telling me she’s going out with her friends. I know the truth. In marriage counseling, she processes her love for me and for our family and her desire to work things out. Then she gets in her car and calls him to laugh about it all. It was very, very painful to find all of this out, but it has steeled my resolve to end things. There is no going back.

I’ve played dumb, met with a divorce attorney and plan to file in a few weeks. At this point, my number one priority is protecting myself and my children. The woman I once loved and committed my life to is gone.

I HIGHLY recommend protecting yourself by any means necessary. The court system is designed to fuck over men in these situations. All she needs to do is allege abuse- sexual, physical or otherwise and you’ll be caught on your heels playing defense. I have recorded every single conversation she and I have had over the last month. If she thinks she can make up false claims about me, she will have another thing coming.

Do research. Get into individual counseling. Reach out to friends and family for support. A few places I’ve found that are great for people like us: www.chumplady.com www.infidelityhelpgroup.com /r/survivinginfidelity /r/divorce reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/6yny2u/youve_been_betrayed_heres_my_starter_pack/ And...The List. http://forum.mensdivorce.com//viewtopic.php?t=13374

The List has been much debated, and lays out a step by step guide for going to war with your STBX. It’s a little aggressive for me, but I can see how it would be very helpful to someone going through a very confrontational divorce. At the very least, it helped me develop a healthier mindset towards my STBXW. She’s not the woman I fell in love with and married. That woman is gone. The List also gives excellent advice on what to do to protect yourself from anything she might do to injure you: change Bank passwords, take your name off of the title of her vehicle, remove her as your insurance beneficiary; stuff that is IMPORTANT, but that you’re probably not thinking about because all you can think about is how your marriage is over. For me, having this checklist of things to do (get copies of kids records, change passwords, set up new cell phone service) gave me concrete action steps that I could take which helped me regain a sense of control in a stipulation where I felt like my life was spinning out of control.

It’s tough, man. It really, really sucks. But you’re not alone. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

Illiterategenius · 2018-11-02T17:08:52+00:00

I appreciate the help guys. I am in the process of locating a good lawyer and protecting myself.

Title	Need some guidance
Author	Illiterategenius
Upvotes	8
Comments	6
Date	November 2, 2018 11:43 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/9tjari/need_some_guidance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-some-guidance.819945 https://theredarchive.com/post/819945

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