I spend most of my days in a constant loop of negative thought patterns that just make me feel like the biggest piece of shit to walk the earth. Just constant observation and obsession over my failures and shortcomings; never acknowledging any sort of success.

I've achieved very little (in my opinion) in my life (stuck at home due to complex family obligations until recently). I don't have grand standards of what I want to achieve or what I'm worth to feel ok with who I am but I just lower myself to the complete bottom rung when I think about it.

This has been a huge issue my whole life and I want to start to tackle it. I'm not sure where to start.

For the record I've moved to my dream city finally after years of involuntarily being stuck with family and wasting my life. I'm beyond ecstatic to be free and to start building my life, although quite late, but this mindset has followed me despite my best efforts.

I've started lifting fresh (injured for a long time) and doing yoga. I'm alone most days but see friends and family on the weekends. I also meditate which helps but I just have little to no control of my mind.