Used the rod, unsure of what follows

srqrox · 2017-02-09T14:27:53+00:00

There is no need to console her / reassure her.

Give it some time, and she'll come around.

Also, never talk about why!

You could have said that you made your own plans. By explicitly telling (and not implying) that you knew what was up you come off as this egoistical manipulator who is imagining things.

This is a wrong line to take when dealing with women, they are like kids, remember?

Edit: Spelling.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-02-09T23:04:12+00:00

Now she's crying. Unsure of how to reassure.

Do nothing. Eventually she will stop crying.

Should you have scheduled your time better, having made a commitment? Yes.

However....

Her response was to then cancel, saying that she was now unavailable for the evening. Seeing this as a shit test, and having work to catch up on, I instituted radio silence.

....if she wants to act like a child, fine. Go about your business like a man.

Say and do nothing further, carry on the relationship as before.

Herdsengineers · 2017-02-09T18:39:09+00:00

I don't think how you handled this is a big deal. Things happen, people get held up, if she was interested in being mature she'd be willing to be flexible sometimes. Instead she acted like she did. It's a power play intended to get you asking why, chasing her, and end up apologizing for life happening which is bullshit.

So she's followed up one immature reaction with another by crying and trying to make you feel like shit for mistreating the poor little princess.

I'm not saying next her, but hold your ground on this. Fact is a grown up that is fit to have a relationship with understands sometimes people get held up and plans go awry. If they think you are worth it, they'll have flexibility and work with you, and won't pull this kind of shit with you. They can still be disappointed when shit happens, but people need to be grown up enough to not take that disappointment out on you in some form of punishment or retribution.

It comes down to obviously there are good things about her because you're in a LTR with her. We train people how to treat us via what we tolerate, though. So don't tolerate this crap, and tell her that you value the LTR with her but also won't partake of immature games and behavior.

Then it's up to her to grow up or not.

Title	Used the rod, unsure of what follows
Author	mnemos_1
Upvotes	5
Comments	6
Date	February 9, 2017 2:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/5t05jy/used_the_rod_unsure_of_what_follows/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/used-the-rod-unsure-of-what-follows.82255 https://theredarchive.com/post/82255

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