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Too Dangerous To Do Lunch

PeonSupreme

July 19, 2021

123 upvotes

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Post Information

Title	Too Dangerous To Do Lunch
Author	PeonSupreme
Upvotes	123
Comments	47
Date	July 19, 2021 1:08 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/ondpx3/too_dangerous_to_do_lunch/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/too-dangerous-to-do-lunch.824027 https://theredarchive.com/post/824027

Comments

[–]-NotFBI-agent006- 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link

[–]PeonSupreme[S] 38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (36 children) | Copy Link

[–]ShoutoutsToSimple 18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link

That sounds sexist, but it ends up being true a lot of the time. If I had to speculate as to why, it would be that hateful attitudes are tolerated from women moreso than from men. I don't think women are more likely to have such hateful attitudes. But I think because there is more tolerance, fewer women feel the need to suppress those thoughts and grow as a person, whereas men are forced to due to lack of tolerance.

For example, say you have 100 men and 100 women. And they are identical. 10 men and 10 women are extremely hateful bigots. They don't care what anyone else thinks. They are going to hate the opposite gender no matter what. 20 men and 20 women lean toward thinking some fairly hateful things about the opposite gender, but are not so far gone that they insist on these thoughts. It's just that they naturally trend toward them unless they put in the effort not to. 30 men and 30 women lean the other direction, toward kindness, but are susceptible to hatred if they are convinced that there is good reason for it. And then 40 men and 40 women are great people without a judgmental or hateful bone in their body.

Given the above scenario, let's say we live in a society which, oh I don't know, teaches men that thinking anything negative about women is misogyny and is terrible, but which doesn't teach the same thing to women, but instead fuels their potential hatred of men by constantly telling them how men oppress them. Despite the fact that we have just defined men and women as being identical to one another, the way society is described here will result in most women hating men, and very few men hating women. Let's walk through it.

The 10 men and 10 women are going to hate the other gender no matter what. So we have 10 sexist men and 10 sexist women.

The 20 men and 20 women naturally lean toward hatred, but society causes them to diverge. The 20 men are taught from childhood that thinking anything negative about women is a horrible sin. So despite their natural inclination, these men grow up to be more egalitarian, suppressing what would otherwise be their urge to hate women. Meanwhile, the same message is not being sent to women, so those 20 women do end up hating men. So we have 10 sexist men and 30 sexist women.

The 30 men and 30 women naturally lean away from hatred, but society once again causes them to diverse. The 30 women are taught from childhood that misogyny is everywhere, and that it's the fault of men. They are taught that men oppress them because they are women. So despite their natural inclination, these women grow up to be sexist, because their minds are poisoned against men on a daily basis. Meanwhile, the same message is not being sent to men, so those 30 men end up aligned with their natural inclination, which is not hating women. So we have 10 sexist men and 60 sexist women.

And then the 40 men and 40 women continue being great people who don't judge others, regardless of what society says. So we maintain 10 sexist men and 60 sexist women.

These are obviously just made-up numbers, and a deliberate over-simplification of things for the sake of demonstration. But I think the idea is clear. Even if men and women are inherently the same, society itself can lead to a situation where there are far more sexist women than sexist men. Because men who lean toward judgment have that drilled out of them, and women who lean away from judgment have that drilled out of them. So the end result is far more sexist women, not because women are worse people, but because society's messaging is fucked up and inconsistent.

In summary, I have observed the same thing. Sometimes, men really are sexist assholes. But I never feel like if you put 10 men in a room together, there's any likelihood at all of the conversation turning into "women suck". But time and time again, when you put 10 women in a room together, it won't take long before the conversation becomes about how men are awful. I'm a fairly effeminate man, and I'm in a long-term relationship with a woman. So I'm considered "safe" when it comes to ladies nights. I fairly often am invited to participate in ladies nights. And consistently, I'll hear the most sexist shit be said as if it's nothing. It's just women hanging out with women, and consistently, it turns to sexism.

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