I have had questions and doubts about the #metoo movement since the beginning. I tend to question anything supported by most media outlets. Do I think true sexual harassment, sexual assault, and rape should be taken lightly? NO, absolutely not. However, as soon as I heard any this movement I knew sometimes it would be twisted and/or used to redefine important concepts.

One thing is sure, if a woman regrets having sex that she consented to, that's not rape. That seems pretty clear cut. HOWEVER, I have heard people say things like, "if she regretted it, she was probably coerced."

I have two problems with this.

  1. It's actually belittling to women. I'm a woman. I've had sex that I regretted. However, I'm an adult and I want to take responsibility for my own actions. Everyone makes choices they regret. If we take away personal accountability, we don't truly learn from our mistakes.

  2. It's assuming the man did something wrong.

Then let's look at another similar scenario. A man asks his girlfriend to have sex. She says no. He asks again. She says no. He asks a third time and maybe even acts hurt. She gives in. This isn't rape.

That would be like saying a woman robbed her boyfriend if she kept asking him for money and acted hurt when he wouldn't and then he gave in.

***yes, I do think a married person can be raped.