Why can't I move on??

LondonLunatic91 · 2021-04-04T16:52:32+00:00

Don't give up. I saw this story recently. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9430615/Ex-prisoner-criminal-record-given-job-Timpson-goes-apprentice-manager-six-months.html

I'd suggest finding more success stories like this and examples of people who have made a good life for themselves after a criminal conviction or reputation defamation. Read about how they did it, and it will start to feel more achievable for you too.

Also maybe find a support group online or in person perhaps of people who have been through similar things. Speaking about it will help. Don't keep it bottled in. If you are innocent then you deserve to live that normal life. It doesn't need to be a fantasy. Don't let the woman who lied about you win. Have the last laugh. Good luck.

TheUnspecialist · 2021-04-04T16:49:13+00:00

It's going to be really hard to get over what was done to you. My suggestion would be to stop searching and looking for what people you knew are doing today, that'll only drive the nails deeper. Focus completely on getting to a better place in your life financially and along the way try to work on your mental. I can't imagine the storm of emotions you have going on, but the best thing I think you can do is to focus on yourself. I hope this is useful to you.

HeadHigh71 · 2021-04-04T17:50:48+00:00

My ex ruin and continues to ruin my life. Don't give up.

Weirdo99003 · 2021-04-04T17:41:06+00:00

This world is cruel I'm so sorry stay strong

shit-zen-giggles · 2021-04-04T22:38:01+00:00

I'd recommend you start doing push ups. No, this isn't "just lift bro" advise or some similar bullshit. It's about something else:

By doing push ups you can get rid of those stresshormones (norepinephrine mostly) that are flooding through your brain as part of that PTSD. It won't cure the PTSD, but it will give you some breathing room to let go of all the shit for a moment. Additionally it will give you practical experience that you can do things that improve your situation.

You mentioned living in a car. You can do push ups right next to the car on the ground. You don't need anything else but the ground and your body. When you do it, keep pushing until your arms fail, literally. Don't go "oh, this one was so exausting, I'll definitely not get another one done, so I stop here". No, you keep going until you drop down, because your arms give out. And while you're doing those push ups, you count. every. single. one. and then you write down that number next to the date and time on some piece of paper (or your phone, if you have one).

Every time you want to go on facebook to look up what your old friends and aquaintances are doing, you go out of the car, drop on the floor and start pushing and counting until you drop. and then you write down how many you just did, next to the date.

Now, why would you do that?

As I said before, it actually helps your brain to get rid of those stress hormones that ramp up your PTSD and keep you fucked up.

Also, be aware that when you repeat the exercise shortly after doing once, you'll definitely not get as many push ups done in the second set as you did in the first. This is normal and completely to be expected. If you repeat the exercise you will notice progress. That's why writing the number down (with date and time) for every set is important. So you can see your progress.

WATCH WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP!

This video mentions setting up some goals to work towards. You might not be able to think of any right now, so here are a couple suggestions:

Treating myself like someone I consider worth helping
Instead of comparing myself to others, I'll focus on helping myself
do 10 push ups today (calendar day), so I have some tension relief
Making steps no matter how small and seemingly insignificant towards reducing that PTSD, for example
1. use the Internet to read up on breathing techniques that can help me keeping my calm against the flushing waves of the PTSD
2. read the wikipedia article about PTSD to understand it better, so I can start working on it

EMBRACE YOUR FAILURES

It's an uphill battle and along that road, you're not going to see too many friends. What you'll see most often is your own shadow. You gotta have trust in your heart of hearts that what you're pursuing is a worthwhile goal.

THE DARKNESS

PRACTICE, PATIENCE, PROGRESS

Jordan Peterson's Life Advice Will Change The Way You Think!

Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n · 2021-04-04T17:55:00+00:00

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life, bro!

Spend the day planning what you want from life, then go get lunch. When you're back start looking into how to achieve your goals.

The next day, start towards one of them.

You can do this!

Weirdo99003 · 2021-04-04T22:28:22+00:00

Hey there, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you had to go to prison for a false accusation, that's one of the absolute worst things to deal with as an innocent person! It will probably take you a very long time to feel normal. But please don't feel like your life is ruined; I think there's a good chance you can have a happy. I absolutely do not think it is wrong for you to feel that way though, I can definitely see why you would. Maybe the first step would be to seek out support groups, or to talk to a counselor or therapist. Don't compare yourself to others, it will most likely make you feel worse. Focus on getting to a place where you feel comfortable and safe, and work from there. It will be difficult, but you deserve all the world has to offer!

hardturkeycider · 2021-04-05T01:02:04+00:00

The guy from TitansofCNC was an excon. Now he owns a massive precision machine shop in Texas

UnconventionalXY · 2021-04-05T02:09:28+00:00

It's not wasting our time: we are grateful for better understanding what men are actually going through.

It sounds like you are still quite young, so you have many years to rebuild your life to something you want. Don't give up.

Can you say what is putting you down and sending you back to square one?

We can't turn back the clock, but that means the past is in the past and what we do have available to us to shape is now and the future.

They say the best revenge is to live well and thus confound the plans of those who might wish you ill.

izzzy12k · 2021-04-05T07:29:17+00:00

Just want to wish you the best of luck on whatever venture you decide to pursue..

The world is ever changing, as life is ever changing.

Never give up, and take things one day at a time and one step at a time.

Set short term goals, simple ones.. Like will submit x amount of applications this week.. Update my resume this month.

Things to start to look up, as your start crossing those short term goal lines.

PenDownWriting · 2021-04-05T09:29:10+00:00

Bruh, I'm so sorry to hear that. With my weak attempt to do some maths when I just woke up, haha, you were imprisoned for about 2 years, no? I think firstly, maybe think up a way to get back on the right track... Seeing that you live in a car, I'll assume your family has stepped away from you or maybe just doesn't exist, with which I'm sorry to know either way... Do you have a job? And perhaps, judging by the what you said, you can still go back to studying for a while? Maybe try applying for a scholarship!! :) Maybe find support groups for people who've been through similar situations, connect online with others if you can find them and ask them for their guide out of the hell they were experiencing... But whatever you do, don't give up. I've seen a couple of times, that people say that once we're at our lowest, it can only get better... I think it only CAN get better at this point, which is good! And yes, some years, which were absolutely fucked up by some gross bitch, of your life are gone and might feel wasted, but here onward, you CAN and WILL navigate yourself out of this. You can still make a change, I promise! And I've seen stories, search up Brandon Moon for instance, of men being locked up for YEARS, in his case 17 fucked up years, and he made it through like a champ, and this only goes to show that you can too! I mean, the fact that you're still here is awesome and shows just how strong you are! :) But try! And once you get on the right foot, make sure to get therapy or counselling please, it's so important that these thoughts of yours can fade away! You can also hmu if you want to talk, I'll listen!

Don't you dare give up :) You WILL make it through this!

Edit: I found a recent post by a guy who made a discord for men who've suffered abuse https://discord.com/invite/6MDJ89nk so feel free to join! :)

Stoicism1981 · 2021-04-05T12:59:02+00:00

What were you being accused of?

Kalkunben · 2021-04-05T15:16:45+00:00

Why does this almost make me cry. Fuck. Man, I hope you get back up. Shit is rough. You may feel like there's no one behind you, no one to catch you. It's okay to feel. It's okay to talk. Fight for the small things. Don't overwhelm yourself, one step at a time.

OcelotXVIII · 2021-04-05T15:28:56+00:00

Dude, I'm really sorry that you went through this. Honest. It's insane how men's lives are seen as disposable and their issues not taken seriously. Like it's so insane that now we can't even have a voice for issues we face. And every time I hear a story about women doing this to men, or raping, molesting, etc. They get away with punishments WAY less severe than men do. Which is actually sick. Female rapists etc living a relatively normal life after doing such things etc.

But I do want to say, life is honestly so short and I know what you went through was a nightmare but. If you can, try to find joy in some simple things. New hobbies. Things to look forward to that can possibly make your day better. Slowly but surely. Because, and I mean this, you deserve every bit of happiness you get. You deserve to spend the rest of your life fulfilled and happy. I hope you do find peace man!

Liberty762 · 2021-04-05T12:44:51+00:00

You might be able to sue her. I’m not entirely sure though.

Jackfly0114 · 2021-04-05T23:51:05+00:00

Did you get pardoned? What happened?

Title	Why can't I move on??
Author	Weirdo99003
Upvotes	93
Comments	47
Date	April 4, 2021 4:07 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/mjz3qf/why_cant_i_move_on/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/why-cant-i-move-on.831379 https://theredarchive.com/post/831379

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