For those of you without the time/inclination to read the full post, here's the dilemma in a nutshell:

  1. If you confess your feelings to a girl you're a beta bitch and she'll lose attraction almost immediately.

  2. If you don't tell a girl your feelings and you're leaving your job soon, probably to never see her again, you will always wonder 'what if' and regret being a pussy for not revealing your feelings.

My story:

Married with 3 kids. Before anyone says anything I'm aware this is morally wrong but honestly, I've reached a point where I no longer give a fuck. I truly don't. In less than 50 yrs we'll all be either dead or old, it's not that long.

Tonight I told a coworker how I felt. We were alone working late. Probably the last time before leaving that I would get a chance to talk so candidly. So I took the chance.

Struggling to remember the exact convo as it was long, but a key point: "here's what I think. We're both attracted to each other but we can't do anything about it because of circumstances (both in LTRs). It frustrates the fuck out of me and I'm guessing it probably does the same to you"

Her: (no denial of this fact) "wow that was blunt. Blah blah this probably happens a lot in workplaces. Id never act on it (her ASD kicked in I think)"

The bottom line is we are both each other's oneitis. I could write 1000 words of events and facts why this is true, just take my word for it.

She told me how she's not sure whether she wants to be with her LTR.

Basically I think she's looking for a branch swing but I'm just looking to bang the shit out of her and see where it goes. I have a lot more to lose than her.

I lurch from thinking I'm a horrible human to fuck it, life is really too short and insignificant to care. I do care about my kids but nature is compelling my body to act on these feelings and it's driving me INSANE.

I couldn't leave my job without saying all I said tonight. But I don't know if it's had a positive or negative effect. It was awkward at times. But had I not said anything I couldn't live with the idea of not having had this convo.

Is there ever a time and place to reveal feelings? how to balance that regret of not saying anything with the consequences of revealing feelings (that were blatantly obvious anyway)?