I would have posted this in r/FeMRADebates but as they don't allow anonymous throwaways and I feel like I need to use one, I will post it here instead. I also want to say that it's not in any way my intention to minimize or take a way from anyone's experience of rape or false accusations. My intention is to share something that happened to my friend that shows that false accusations (just as rape) is not a gendered issue but something that can happen to anyone.

My friend and I are both women in our early 20s. A few days ago we went to a house party (in violation of COVID restrictions) with a bunch of other people we know to varying degrees. We only stayed for about an hour and left together. I'm completely certain my friend was never out of my sight for more than 10 minutes at the time and pretty sure she never went upstairs but the next day we are told that a guy has accused her of raping him in an upstairs bedroom. I'm not going to repeat his description of events but they are detailed and describe something that must have taken more than 10 minutes.

I know for a fact that what he says can't possibly be true but everyone believes him and think I'm lying to protect my friend. More than one person has told me that a man would never lie about being raped because nobody would believe him and he would be ridiculed but everyone is believing him and nobody is ridiculing him.

I don't want to call him a liar either because maybe he was raped by someone else and misidentified my friend but nobody is willing to consider any alternative.

I know this is not a typical situation and that men who are raped often are ridiculed and not believed. That's horrible and I'm in no way advocating against male victims of rape but false accusations are often portrayed as a specifically male issue and I wanted to point out that it affects women too. I also just wanted to vent about this very frustrating situation.