Too self sufficient?

sugarcrush · 2014-05-28T16:27:06+00:00

Congratulations, you have found an adult human male instead of a man child! That's the goal :P

It will be easier to play house and do all those wifey things for him when you live together. For now, why not focus on other special things? You could bake something tasty and bring it over, make or find a cool decoration, knit him a scarf in his favorite color or something.

Additionally, try to figure out his love language. I'm sure he appreciates when you do things for him, but his love language might not be acts of service and something else (touch, words, gifts, time) could make him feel more special/loved.

cheez_Ina_pan · 2014-05-28T16:02:18+00:00

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N0ty0urHuckl3b3rry · 2014-05-28T16:13:14+00:00

Man here checking in. Sometimes personality comes into play. He knows you can do that stuff and most likely enjoy doing that stuff for him, but he seems to like being independent and will not relinquish control of that part of his life very easy. My advice would be to provide support in other areas. Hey maybe even have this convo with him and ask to help him with that. Is he a Rper?

ColdEiric · 2014-05-28T19:22:18+00:00

He is independent. That's a good thing.

Trust me, you don't want him to need you. You don't want him to be a child. You want him to be independent AND to want you, and you are able to make him want you.

cheez_Ina_pan · 2014-05-28T15:40:04+00:00

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2014-05-28T17:53:11+00:00

You (rightly) derive a sense of fulfillment and completeness by carrying out nurturing acts of care. When the traditional opportunities seem unavailable, it very much should result in you wondering how else can you add value. I think it's wonderful because it's a healthy extension of wanting to please your man and finding meaning and validation in your place in his life. A few thoughts:

Just because he can do everything for himself doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate not having to do them. That's a messy sentence. What I mean is, he might appreciate a break and to know that you care and want to add to his life. Take turns doing common everyday things and have fun doing them together.
When a man is an adult and has many skills in a relationship, you can move to a more mature RP model that is based more in collaboration where you talk through and figure out how you fit because there's less of an obvious role-based separation.
Don't overthink how much men value the same simple things performed consistently. Some of us love structure and experiencing love through constancy. A good meal. Great sex. Small reminders of care in the ways that matter to him. And for you to be by his side while leaving him alone enough of the time that he feels like a captain.

Larry-Man · 2014-05-29T05:53:03+00:00

I'm sure there are many other things you can do for him. I like to give back and foot rubs after a long day or running him a hot bath. I do things like take the dog out when he is at work.

Try and find out what it is of that stuff that he likes doing. Even if he likes cooking I'm sure he doesn't mind having a night off and such. Tell him you like to do these things and that it's not a problem for you to do them.

My bf is often overworked and doesn't get as much housework done as he would like but even when I offer because he didn't get the time to do it, he feels like a failure because he can't get it all done himself. Maybe his feelings are similar to this, you may have to help him realise that it's okay and you don't mind.

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-05-30T15:37:43+00:00

Learn how to and regularly give him a full body massage. Happy ending mandatory.

Title	Too self sufficient?
Author	cheez_Ina_pan
Upvotes	10
Comments	14
Date	May 28, 2014 3:28 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/26pa97/too_self_sufficient/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/too-self-sufficient.84539 https://theredarchive.com/post/84539

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